She put her cup down slowly and stood up. "Will you keep Matthew in here with you?" Her eyes pleaded with her mother to co-operate, to continue to respect her decision where Matthew"s father was concerned.
"I"ll try." Joan nodded ruefully. "But you know what he"s like about visitors."
Yes, she did know. Her young son was gregarious, not at all shy about meeting new people; in fact, he loved them. "Just try," she encouraged huskily, her hands feeling icy cold, and yet at the same time her palms were damp.
What was Rik doing here?
More to the point, how could she get rid of him before he discovered the truth about Matthew?
She was sure that last night he had believed Matthew to be another man, that without actually resorting to lies she had compounded that impression by talking about how much she loved him.
And yet, less than twelve hours later, Rik was here, in her home. In Matthew"s home...!
She ran her damp palms down her denim-clad thighs, then drew in a deep, controlling breath before entering the sitting-room.
If she looked bad after a relatively sleepless night, then Rik looked much worse, his face very pale, lines of strain beside his nose and mouth, though sungla.s.ses prevented her from reading the expression in his eyes.
It was this that she grasped on to. "I thought it was raining outside?" she said derisively.
"It is," he agreed, reaching up to remove the sungla.s.ses, revealing the dark circles beneath his eyes, the light actually making him wince. "Never mix champagne, whisky and gin," he drawled. "It"s a lethal combination!" He placed the sungla.s.ses back on his nose.
At any other time Sapphie might have found his discomfort amusing. But not today. Not with Matthew only feet away.
She looked at him coldly. "What are you doing here, Rik? What do you want?"
"A gallon of black coffee might help," he suggested. "Although I wouldn"t put a bet on it!"
"Sounds like you had a good time after I left last night," she said drily, not sitting down, and not asking him to either-even though he did look as if he might fall down at any moment. But she was too restless to sit down, and he wouldn"t be staying long enough to make himself comfortable!
"A bad one," he corrected her. "And on that basis, I suppose things can only get better. In fact, as far as I"m concerned, they already have. Sapphie, why didn"t you just tell me that Matthew is your son?"
Rik was wrong-this situation had just become a hundred times worse!
Rik watched as Sapphie moved to sit down abruptly in one of the armchairs, her face rigid with shock as she stared up at him with haunted amber-coloured eyes. "Who told you?" she choked, her gaze sharpening suddenly. "Was it Dee? Because if it was-"
"It wasn"t Dee," Rik a.s.sured her soothingly, noticing the look of relief that flooded her eyes. "Look, Sapphie," he moved to go down on his haunches beside her chair, taking one of her cold hands into the warmth of his, "doesn"t my being here tell you that it makes no difference to me? That you could have six children and I would still want you?" And he knew that it was true, that he wanted Sapphie, no matter what baggage she brought along with her.
As he"d stood beneath a stinging hot shower earlier for ten minutes, trying to see the situation from her point of view, he"d realised that it was love for her child that had made her behave so defensively, that had made her so determined to push other relationships from her life. To push him from her life. It was up to him to change all that.
Sapphie swallowed hard, eyeing him warily now. "You would?"
"Yes-I would," he came back firmly.
Nik had tried, in his usual big-brother fashion, to give him advice on the telephone earlier that morning, urging him to remember that a single mother came as part of a package, and that he would have to bond with the child as much as the mother, and to remember that all the time he was doing this bonding with the mother and the son the child"s real father was out there somewhere doing his d.a.m.nedest to ensure that he didn"t succeed!
At which point Rik had come back with, "And if it had been Jinx in the same circ.u.mstances?"
"I would still have fallen in love and married her," Nik had answered without hesitation.
Exactly. That was exactly how Rik felt about Sapphie. OK, so she was a little p.r.i.c.kly because of her circ.u.mstances; he would just have to overcome her distrust. And how hard could it be to bond with a small child who wasn"t yet mature enough to have formed many likes and dislikes?
Although he wasn"t quite so sure about that when, the very next moment, a small voice somewhere else in the house began to cry out, "I want my mummy! I want my mummy!"
Sapphie tensed at the very first cry, s.n.a.t.c.hing her hand out of his to stand up. "You have to leave-"
The door was flung open suddenly, silencing her, a small tornado hurtling into the room and into her waiting arms. "Mummy!" the little boy cried determinedly. "I wanted to show you my tower, but Nana said you were busy." He turned to give his grandmother an accusing look as she stood behind him in the open doorway.
Having expected a baby, or, at the most, a small toddler, Rik was rather surprised that Matthew was quite this big-and this vocal!
Sapphie bent down and swept the little boy up into her arms. Matthew"s height and st.u.r.diness showed him to be a little boy of about four-or five?-years old, with glossy dark curls framing his still-babyish features. As he turned, Rik found himself the curious focus of the child"s deep blue eyes.
"It"s a man," he told his mother brightly.
No, not just a man, Rik realised as he continued to study the little boy. All of the colour drained from his face as he looked at a replica of himself at four years old: the same tall-for-his-age body, those dark, glossy curls, the same blue eyes. No, not just a man-Matthew"s father!
This little boy-four years and two months old if Rik"s memory was correct-was his son!
He couldn"t breathe. Couldn"t speak. d.a.m.n-he wasn"t sure he was going to be able to stand on his own two feet for very much longer!
Sapphie"s child was his child. His son. Matthew was his son!
"I"m so sorry." Joan was the one to break the silence as she spoke pleadingly to her daughter. "I tried to stop him, but..." She gave a helpless movement of her hands.
Joan McCall, a woman he had grown to like the previous evening, knew that Matthew was his son, too! Why else would she be quite this upset, so apologetic?
"It"s OK," Sapphie a.s.sured her mother huskily. "Maybe-maybe it"s for the best." She turned to look enquiringly at Rik, her arms tightening about Matthew as she saw the completely stunned expression on Rik"s face.
He still couldn"t speak, could only continue to stare at Matthew. He was such a beautiful child, so much a little boy already, so-so his!
And he had already missed four years of his son"s life...
Because of Sapphie. Because she had chosen five years ago not to tell him she was expecting his child.
Why had she done that? What right did she have to have made that decision alone, to have kept Matthew a secret from him for all these years?
Anger started to replace the numbness, blinding, white-hot anger. "G.o.d d.a.m.n you, Sapphie!" he rasped harshly.
"The man swore, Mummy," Matthew gasped, blue eyes wide. "He"s a bad man."
"No, not a bad man, darling," Sapphie a.s.sured him huskily. "Just a very angry one, I think." She raised questioning brows in Rik"s direction.
"Anger doesn"t even begin to describe how I feel at this moment," he ground out fiercely.
What he wanted, more than anything, was to reach out and take his son in his arms, to crush him to him, to know the wonder of holding his own flesh and blood!
But he couldn"t do that; he was nothing but a stranger to Matthew, a "bad man" who swore at his mother...!
Sapphie drew in a sharp breath at the violence she must have seen in his expression. "This isn"t the time or the place for this, Rik," she began to reason.
"You"re right-it isn"t," he bit out forcefully, exerting every ounce of will-power he possessed to keep a lid on the anger that threatened to explode from him. For Matthew"s sake. For his son"s sake!
He still couldn"t quite take all of this in, and yet he knew it was the truth, the evidence-Matthew"s likeness to him so blazingly, obviously, right here before him. But if he needed any other confirmation then Sapphie"s look of despair, and Joan"s concern as she looked at both her daughter and her grandson were enough to convince him.
Over the last week he had grown to heartily dislike a man by the name of Matthew, to resent the part he played in Sapphie"s life. But the overwhelming love he felt now as he looked at his son was almost enough to bring him to his knees!
He shook his head weakly. "You"re right, Sapphie; the time and place for this is a court of law!"
"No-" Joan cried.
"Rik, please!" Sapphie groaned emotionally.
"Please!" he repeated furiously. "Please?" he said again less forcefully as Matthew scowled at him fiercely-for shouting at his beloved.
Sapphie was right, Rik acknowledged hardly, they couldn"t talk about this in front of Matthew. That would only serve to alienate the little boy more. And that was the last thing he wanted.
What he wanted at this moment-Matthew!-he couldn"t have. Which left him only one course of action.
"You can expect to hear from my lawyers," he stated harshly.
"Rik, no!" Sapphie gasped again.
"Rik, yes!" he said coldly, taking one last knee-weakening look at Matthew before striding to the door, giving Joan McCall a look of reproach as he pa.s.sed her in the doorway.
But he would be back.
And soon!
CHAPTER TEN.
"WELL, that could have gone better, couldn"t it?" Sapphie murmured weakly even as she sat down in one of the armchairs, Matthew on her knee. Her legs were shaking so badly that if she didn"t sit down, she knew she would fall down.
Matthew climbed off her knee. "He was a naughty man, Mummy. He swored." But his last comment was only made distractedly as he spotted his box of toys behind the sofa and made a beeline for his favourite fire-engine.
"I think he had good reason to swear," Sapphie"s mother sighed, having stepped aside as Rik left or risked being trampled underfoot. "Sapphie, can you imagine how that poor man feels-?"
"Yes! Yes, I can," she acknowledged shakily.
And she could; she knew how she would feel if Matthew were suddenly produced as her child. Wondrous at the beautiful miracle of him, but angry too at the person who had deprived her of the first four years of his life. In this case, that was her...
"What do I do about this?" She looked at her mother desperately. "You heard him-he"s going to make it a legal battle!" Her voice rose in panic.
Because she knew it was a battle she was likely to lose. Rik hadn"t abandoned his child, he simply hadn"t known of his existence. Plus he was a rich and powerful man, and his reputation was unimpeachable.
"You can"t let it get to that, Sapphie," her mother echoed her own thoughts. "Admittedly, a court usually comes down in favour of the mother, and I"m sure that they would this time too, but Rik is ent.i.tled to have access to his son. He"s a wealthy man, and his lawyers are bound to be the best there are-"
"You aren"t making me feel better, Mother!" Sapphie replied, her eyes welling with tears.
"I don"t mean to upset you, Sapphie," her mother sympathised, moving to squeeze her arm rea.s.suringly. "Really, I don"t," she urged. "But I was watching his face the whole time, saw the way he looked at Matthew! Sapphie, it was that same look of pride and fierce protectiveness you see on every new parent"s face!"
She knew that, had seen it too; Rik already loved Matthew with a fierce paternal love.
Taking that into account, and the way he felt about her at the moment-so angry he had looked capable of strangling her!-then she knew he wasn"t likely to settle for anything less than complete access to Matthew. She doubted very much that Rik would succeed in taking Matthew away from her-her own reputation was as unimpeachable as his-but the ensuing battle would probably ensure that Sapphie and Rik ended up hating each other for the rest of their lives!
"I have to go and talk to him," she decided determinedly as she stood up.
Her mother nodded. "I think that"s very wise-"
"But I can"t!" Sapphie groaned frustratedly.
"You have to-"
"No, Mother, I meant that I can"t go and talk to Rik because I have no idea where he"s staying!" Sapphie explained desperately. "It"s just never come up in conversation," she defended as her mother looked at her disbelievingly.
"But surely-someone must know where he can be reached," her mother reasoned impatiently.
Dee, Sapphie thought instantly. Much as she hated to acknowledge it, Dee was sure to know where Rik was staying while he was in London.
But did she really want to go to Dee cap in hand and ask her about the whereabouts of her ex-lover?
Did she have any other choice?
"You"re lucky to have caught us, Sapphie," Jerome informed her lightly as he answered her call to his mobile.
Sapphie had totally forgotten that Dee and Jerome were leaving later today to go back to the States. Not surprising really, given the circ.u.mstances! She only hoped that luck would continue for the rest of what promised to be a traumatic day...
"Rik?" Jerome echoed after Sapphie had told him the reason she was calling-if not the reason she so desperately needed to find Rik! "Well, he was staying here at this hotel last night-"
"That"s all I needed to know!" Sapphie breathed with relief. "And to wish the two of you a safe journey home, of course," she added quickly as she realised how that must have sounded.
"Of course," Jerome echoed drily. "And you didn"t let me finish just now; I said Rik was staying at the hotel last night, but it"s my understanding that he booked out early this morning."
Sapphie felt herself deflate again. Obviously Rik had come here after he"d signed out of the hotel, but where had he gone now? She had no idea. Had no idea of anything concerning Rik"s private life! But his life had overspilled into her own now, and in the circ.u.mstances, she had to find him!
"You really do need to reach him, huh?" Jerome probed gently at her continued silence. "Did the two of you have a fight or something last night? Only he seemed a little down, after you left."
"A little down" didn"t at all describe the way Rik was when he stormed out of her home a short time ago! Murderous was probably more apt!
"I just need to talk to him about something," she answered evasively. "But if you don"t have any idea where he is, then-"