If she were to be perfectly honest, Lyn lacked confidence in herself, while she knew better than to compare herself to her siblings. It is difficult to do so when even the limited people who knew of her existence compared herself. Her whole life, it felt like she was walking on a single thin rope that would snap at any moment.Lyn didn"t know when but at some point she had turned around and buried her face in Kazuya"s arms. It was only when she felt his hands gently caress her hair did Lyn realize.
"Sorry," Lyn muttered when she pulled away.
She always seems to show Kazuya her weak side.
Like usual, however, Kazuya does not waste time on words like it will be okay and stuff, instead he simply ruffled her hair, "Shall we lay down?"
..
Have you heard the saying actions speak louder than words? Lyn always thought that was another fantasy like speech, but after she met Kazuya Lyn learned that saying wasn"t just for show. It"s the truth. Sometimes actions convey more than words, though it would depend on the situation. There are cases where it is better to use words than actions; sometimes, you cannot find the right action to convey what your thinking. Even with words, there are different ways to express it.
Lyn did not think that the person that would prove these words to her is the man that is supposedly her enemy. Kazuya has been busy doing amba.s.sador work this whole time, so Lyn knew he has had no time to meet up with his little group and plan things. But that did not make it any easier for her; she felt very conflicted whenever she thought of him.
Brother Andrew has not summoned her since that time, so Lyn was anxious. What is brother planning? He even accepted their relations.h.i.+p so quickly. Initially, when she started to date Kazuya, Lyn didn"t think the relations.h.i.+p would last a long time. She thought he would end it once Prince John had enough, but it turned out even though Prince John stopped following her around - Kazuya has no intention of ending the relations.h.i.+p with her.
Come to think of it, didn"t he say something about taking it seriously and making her change her mind? If she looks at it that way, Lyn wondered if Kazuya had feelings for her, is it okay for her to think that way?
"You know I was going to suggest for you to sleep on my arm and use it as a pillow, but you did it instinctively," Kazuya said.
"Is that bad?"
Kazuya lips curved to a smile, "Why would it? I have a cute girl on my arm."
"So you do this all the time?"
His sweat fell at her words, "Lyn, is it just me or your acting way too cautiously?"
"I can"t help it," Lyn paused as she stared at him, "Kazuya, you kiss very well."
Kazuya looked at her with a dumbfounded look, "Believe it or not, that was just me going with the flow. Just like you, I am a complete newbie at these things, and well," he trailed off, "With things like this, I don"t want to rush, you know? I meant what I said to you that day."
That day, is he referring to the first day they went out?
"Are you serious about me?" she finally summoned up the courage to ask, and in that second she saw it. Kazuya getting embarra.s.sed. Lyn felt her composure disappear as her face reddened at his words.
"H—hey if we"re both embarra.s.sed then we can"t talk."
"You turned red first," Lyn complained.
Oh gosh, what is with this situation? Lyn felt very embarra.s.sed, she wanted to hide, but it was impossible in this situation. Kazuya"s arms encircled tighter around her, and Lyn knew that he had no intention to let her go. Kazuya feels warm, a different sort of warmth than usual.
"Is it okay for me to take this seriously, Lyn?"
Why is he asking that again? Lyn recalled Allen"s words at the recent banquet, and pain appeared in her heart. Though they spoke, it felt like they weren"t talking to each other at all. The wall between them seemed to have increased a lot, and judging from his behavior - nothing would change. Otherwise, he would have done so already. If Allen really liked her, then he would have made a move. Lyn was very tired; she didn"t want to keep pursuing somebody who wouldn"t even look at her in that manner. How many years have pa.s.sed since she first met Allen? So many years have gone by, so many years wasted pursuing and doing everything for a man who would not look at her that way.
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Lyn didn"t want to waste any more time. She was in no rush to be in love and be in a proper relations.h.i.+p, at least that"s what she thought so initially. But after speaking and meeting with Ralph in the last party, Lyn realized how precious time was. Though she still loved Allen, her feelings for Kazuya were growing too. It"s not exactly love just yet, but they certainly cannot continue being friends.
It"s risky. But instead of pursuing a one-sided love with a man who won"t even look her way. No, Lyn shook her head, that"s not the only reason. Him not looking her way is one thing. But Allen has never once opened up her heart to her. Then there is Kazuya, he is still figuring things out, but he has opened up his heart to her and treated her with such kindness. He has done so much for her.
Lyn knew that her silence must have worried him since his grip tightened and Lyn looked up at him. Even now, he is holding her like she is somebody precious, "Kazuya, is it okay for me to fall in love with you?"