Lyn didn"t have to wrack her head thinking about it for long since Allen immediately said."About the recent events. Now that we are alone, can you explain it to me?"
The recent events? "What are you referring to?" Lyn feigned ignorance.
"Why did you break up with Kazuya when you still have feelings for him?" Allen questioned.
"Truly, what a straightforward and honest guy." Allen behavior resembles a traditional elite man. But, at the same time, something is different. Allen has changed a bit hasn"t he? If it were the past him, he wouldn"t have asked her something like this. Lyn didn"t reply right away, she had to think of a good response to his question.
Why did she break up with Kazuya when she still has feelings for him? Sure he left her alone a lot and that made her feel lonely. But breaking him up with him over something like that seems so very silly.
Lyn understood what Allen was getting at and sighed. It seems like he already knows. But why does that surprise her so much? Allen has been like this from the very start. "This is the reason why she trusts him." Allen is from another Kingdom, and while he maybe her fiance. It does not change the fact that the engagement is for political purposes. Yet she trusts him more than she has ever trusted anybody else, more than she does Kazuya.
If Allen was in love with her too, then this would be one of the advantages he would have over the other two. But such a thing is not possible, Allen will never see her that way. It took her quite some time however to get over him. She liked him for so many years if Kazuya never came. Would she still be in love with Allen? It was difficult to know.
Others can easily say I love you and stay by your side forever. They can claim to love only one person for the rest of their life. But only temporarily, they cannot keep it up for long. All humans crave the warmth and love from another person, no matter how cold and detached they may seem. No human can survive alone. If their loved one pa.s.ses away or gets into an accident. Or in the event, their feelings are not returned. These people will eventually move on. Lyn has never heard of eternal one sided love. There are many people who claim to love just one person for the rest of their lives, but end up marrying other people, eventually. Did their love disappear? Were there unavoidable circ.u.mstances?
Lyn did not know, but she understood one thing. Eternal love does not exist, look at her mother. Mother loved the first King a lot, and even now she is suffering because of him. But she still chose a new King, only a month after the first one pa.s.sed away. Lyn remembered the rumors in the castle during that time. There were many who scorned mother, many who criticized her. Father was the only one on her side then. During that time her eldest brother did not speak to their mother, this behavior of his led to people insulting her even more.
When the rumors vanished, Lyn questioned her brother. Why didn"t he intervene? His response surprised her. "Father instructed me to behave this way before he died. He knew what would happen."
The first King, huh? Lyn liked him a lot, he stayed by her side even when other people ignored her.
"For me that was fine, as long as I could help. But now, now the situation has changed." She muttered. "There has to be something else I can do for the people."
What can she do to help? How many years have pa.s.sed since she first thought that way?
"I think it"s easy to lose track of things when you"re distracted," Allen commented.
"You think so?"
"I do." He looked up at the sky. "Back when we first met, I mentioned it to you. We royals are the very opposite of free. Even now my mindset has not changed. The more involved you get in the politics of the Kingdom, the more you see. The more you learn. So many years have gone by since I first helped my father with his work. Since then I have attended more conferences, meetings, gatherings. I have seen a lot Lyn. That is why I craved for the moments we spend together."
"Since I"m different?"
"Truthfully Allen, I still like Kazuya. However, those feelings are very small, at least if I compare it to my goal."
"I see," Allen said quietly.
"Your reaction is too low." Lyn laughed. "Do you think I am acting too cold?"
"Not at all, you are simply fulfilling your duty."
A bitter smile appeared on her face when she heard those words. Lyn knew he meant no harm by it. But during these times it would be nice to get a different response. If she wants to change, she has to change her reply too. "Of course you react that way. But I find it cold."
"Lyn, forgive me." Allen apologized.
She shook her head. "It"s okay." Lyn trailed off. "Do you think this will end soon?" she said this vaguely, but she knew he understood. Allen did not reply to her immediately. For a moment Lyn felt frightened, all sorts of thoughts appeared in her head. Was that too straight forward of her? Just as she thought that Lyn hears a rustling sound. Allen draped his cloak around her shoulders.
Her eyes widened. "You don"t have to.."
"Take it. You will catch a cold. From now on you will attend a lot of events with me, I cannot afford for you to get sick now."
This formal and stiff reply… Lyn sighed. Allen is lucky that she is the one who ended up as his fiance. If it were any other girl, they would not tolerate this type of behaviour from him. Then again, she was the same once upon a time, anyway. Besides, even if he behaves this way, she has learned to decipher his words. Allen is very clumsy at expressing his feelings, so the only way for him to do so is indirectly.