"But they will move him to a better climate."
"He does not want to be moved. I should not, either, in his case."
Fay"s hands fell to her sides.
"When my mother died," said Wentworth, "I promised her to be good to Michael. There was no need for me to promise to be good to him. I always liked him better than anyone else. I taught him to ride and to shoot. He got his gun up sharp from the first. It"s easy to do things for anyone you like. But what is hard is when the time comes"--Wentworth stopped, and then went on--"when the time comes that you can"t do anything more for the person you care for most."
Silence.
The yellow b.u.t.terfly was still feebly trying to open and shut his wings.
The low sun had abandoned him to the encroaching frost, and was touching the bare overarching branches to palest gold, "so subtly fair, so gorgeous dim"; so far beyond the reach of tiny wings.
"I don"t think," said Wentworth, "I would stick at anything. I don"t know of anything I would not do, anything I would not give up, to get him back his freedom. But it"s no use, I can do nothing for him."
"Oh! Why does not the real murderer confess?" said Fay with a sob, wringing her hands. "How can he go on, year after year, letting an innocent man wear out his life in prison, bearing the punishment of his horrible crime?"
That mysterious murderer occupied a large place in Fay"s thoughts. She hated him with a deadly hatred. He was responsible for everything. That one crooked channel of thought that persistently turned aside all blame onto an unknown offender, had at last given a certain crookedness, a sort of twist, to the whole subject in Fay"s mind.
"I begged Michael again for the twentieth time to tell me anything that could act as a clue to discovering the real criminal," said Wentworth.
"I told him I would spend my last shilling in bringing him to justice, but he only shook his head. I told him that some of his friends felt certain that he knew who the murderer was, and was shielding him. He shook his head again. He would not tell me anything the first day I went to him after he was arrested. And still, after two years in prison, he will not speak. Michael will never say anything."
The despair in Wentworth"s voice met the advancing chill of the waning afternoon. The sun had gone. The gold had faded into grey. A frosty breath was stirring the dead leaves. The b.u.t.terfly had closed his wings for the last time, and clung feebly, half reversed, to his snowdrop. A tiny trembling had laid hold upon him. He was tasting death.
Fay shivered involuntarily, and drew her fur cloak around her.
"I must go in," she said.
They walked slowly to the wooden, ivied gate which separated the woods from the gardens. A thin, white moon was already up, peering at them above the gathering sea mist.
They stood a moment together by the gate, each vaguely conscious of the consolation of the other"s presence in the face of the great grief which had drawn them together.
"I will come again soon, if I may," he said diffidently, "unless seeing me reminds you of painful things." His voice had lowered itself involuntarily.
"I like to see you," said Fay in a whisper, and she slipped away from him like a shadow among the shadows.
The entire dejection of her voice and manner sheared from her words any possible rea.s.surance which Wentworth might otherwise have found in them, which he suddenly felt anxious to find in them.
He pondered over them as he rode home.
How she had loved her husband! People had hinted that they had not been a happily a.s.sorted couple, but it was obvious that her grief at his loss was still overwhelming. And what courageous affection she had shown towards Michael, whom she had known from a boy; first in trying to shield him when he had taken refuge in her room, and afterwards in her sorrowing compa.s.sion for his fate. And what a steadfast belief she had shown from first to last in his innocence, against overwhelming odds!
Wentworth did not know till he met Fay that such women existed. Women he was aware were an enigma. Men could not fathom them. They were fickle, mysterious creatures, on whom no sane man could rely, whom the wisest owned they could not understand, capable alternately of devotion and treachery, acting from instincts that men did not share, moved by sudden, amazing impulses that men could not follow.
But could a woman like Fay, who towered head and shoulders above the ordinary run of women, removed to a height apart from their low level of pettiness and vanity, by her simplicity and n.o.bility and capacity for devotion--_could such a woman love a second time?_
The thirst to be loved, to be the object of an exquisite tenderness, what man has not, consciously or unconsciously longed for that? What woman has not had her dream of giving that and more, full measure, running over?
To find favour in a woman"s eyes a man need only do his stupid bungling best. But it is doubtful whether Wentworth had a best of any kind in him to do.
At twenty-five he would not have risked as much for love as even cautious men of robuster fibre will still ruefully but determinedly risk in the forties. And now at forty he would risk almost nothing.
Where Michael was concerned Wentworth"s love had reached the strength where it could act, indefatigably, if need be. Michael had been so far the only creature who could move his brother"s egotism beyond the refinements of bedridden sentiment.
It was as well for Fay that she did not realise, and absolutely essential for Wentworth that he did not realise either, that in spite of an undoubted natural attraction towards her he would have seen no more of her unless she had come within easy reach.
A common trouble had drawn them towards each other. A common interest, a common joy or sorrow, a house within easy distance--these are some of the match makers between the invalids of life, who are not strong enough to want anything very much, or to work for what they want. For them favourable circ.u.mstance is everything.
Wentworth could ride four and a half miles down a picturesque lane to see Fay. But he could not have taken a journey by rail.
A few years before Wentworth met Fay he had been tepidly interested in the youthful sister of one of his college friends and contemporaries, an Oxford Don at whose house he stayed every year. The sister kept house for her brother. It was the usual easy commonplace combination of circ.u.mstances that has towed lazy men into marriage since the inst.i.tution was first formed. He saw her without any effort on his part.
He arrived at a kind of knowledge of her. He found her to be what he liked. She was sympathetic, refined, shy, cultivated, unselfish, and of a wild rose prettiness. After a time he kept up, mainly on her account, a regular intercourse with the brother, who was becoming rather prosy, as was Wentworth himself. Presently the brother married, and the sister ceased to live with him.
Wentworth"s visits to Oxford gradually ceased to give him pleasure. He found his friend"s wife middle-cla.s.s, self-absorbed, and artificial, the friend himself donnish, cut and dried, and liable to anecdotic seizures of increasing frequency. The intimacy dwindled and was now moribund. But it never entered his mind to enquire into the whereabouts of the sister, and to continue his acquaintance with her independently. If he had continued to meet her regularly he would almost certainly have married her. She on her side seemed well disposed towards him. As it was he never saw her again. He gradually ceased to think of her, except on summer evenings, as a charming possibility which Fate had sternly removed, as one lost to him for ever. He wrote a little poem about her, beginning, "Where are you now?" (She was at Kensington all the time.) Wentworth never published his verses. He said there was no room for a new poet who did not advertise himself. There had been room for one of his college friends, but that had been a case of log rolling.
I do not know whether it was a fortunate or an unfortunate fate that had prevented the gay little lady of the pink cheeks from being at that moment installed at Barford as the wife of a poet who scorned publicity.
If Wentworth had been riding home to his wife on that February evening he would not have taken unconsciously another of the many steps which entailed so many more, by saying to himself, thinking of Fay:
"Could a woman like that love a second time?"
Then he hastened his speed as he remembered that his old friend the Bishop of Lostford had by this time arrived at Barford.
CHAPTER XI
If you feel no love, sit still; occupy yourself with things, with yourself, with anything you like, only not with men.
--TOLSTOY.
In Wentworth"s youth he had been attracted towards many, besides the Bishop, among the bolder and less conventional of his contemporaries.
Their fire, their energies, their enthusiasm, warmed his somewhat under-vitalized nature. He regarded himself as one of them, and his refinement and distinction drew the robuster spirits towards himself.
But gradually, as time went on, these energies and enthusiasm took form, and, alas! took forms which he had not expected--he never expected anything--and from which his mind instinctively recoiled. He had supposed that energy was energy. He had not realised that it was life in embryo, that might develop, not always on lines of beauty, into a new policy, or a great discovery, or a pa.s.sion, or a vocation. He hated transformations, new births, all change. His friends at first rallied him unmercifully, then lost patience, and finally fell from him, one by one. Some openly left him, the more good-natured among them forgot him, and if by chance they found themselves in his society, hurried back with affectionate cordiality to reminiscences of school and college life, long-pa.s.sed milestones before the parting of the ways.
The Bishop when he plunged into his work also for a time lost sight of Wentworth, but when he was appointed to the See of Lostford, within five miles of Barford, the two men resumed, at first with alacrity, something of the old intercourse.
Wentworth had an element of faithfulness in him which enabled him to take up a friendship after a long interval, but it was on one condition, namely that the friend had remained _plante la_ where he had been left.
If in the meanwhile the friend had moved, the friendship flagged.
It was soon apparent that the Bishop had not by any means remained _plante la_, and the friendship quickly drooped. It would long since have died a natural death if it had not been kept alive by the Bishop himself, a man of robust affections and strong compa.s.sions, without a moment to spend on small resentments. After Michael"s imprisonment he had redoubled his efforts to keep in touch with Wentworth, and the great grief of the latter, silently and n.o.bly endured, had been a bond between the two men which even a miserable incident which must have severed most friendships had served to loosen, not to break.
The Bishop had in truth arrived at Barford, and was now sitting apparently unoccupied by the library fire. To be unoccupied even for an instant except during recuperative sleep was so unusual with the Bishop, so unprecedented, that his daughter would have been terrified could she have seen him at that moment. He had only parted from her and her husband at mid-day, yet it was a sudden thought suggested by his visit to them which was now holding him motionless by the fire, his lean person bulging with unanswered letters.
The Bishop was a small ugly man of fifty, unconventional to the core, the younger son of a duke, and a clergyman by personal conviction. He had been born in a hurry, and had remained in a hurry ever since. He had neither great administrative capacities, nor profound scholarship, but what powers he had were eked out by a stupendous energy. His Archbishop said that he believed that the Bishop"s chaplains died like flies, and that he merely threw their dead bodies into the Loss, which flowed beneath his palace windows, without even a burial service. His chaplains and secretaries certainly worked themselves to the bone for him. They could have told tales against him, but they never did. For it was a strain to serve the Bishop, to get his robes thrown over him at the right--I mean the last--second, to thrust him ruthlessly into his carriage just in time to catch the tail ends of departing trains--he generally travelled with the guard. His admirable life had been spent in a ceaseless whirl. He had never had time to marry. He had hurried to the altar when he was an eager curate with a pretty young bride who was a stranger to him, whom his mother had chosen for him. During the years that followed what little he saw of her at odd moments he liked. After ten years of what he believed to be married life she died, leaving one child; tactful to the last, pretty to the last, having made no claim from first to last, kissing his hand, and thanking him for his love, and for the beautiful years they had spent together.
His friends said that he bore her loss with heroism, but in reality he missed her but little. Her death occurred just after he had become an ardent suffragan. His daughter grew up in a few minutes, and quickly took her mother"s place. She was her mother over again in character and appearance. His wife had lived in his house for ten years, his daughter for twenty. By dint of time he learned to know her as he had never known her mother. At twenty she married his chaplain.