Michael smiled vaguely and took everything for granted. Wentworth was so anxious to shield him from fatigue and excitement that at first he was only too thankful that Michael took everything so quietly. But after a few days he became uneasy at his brother"s inertness of mind and body. A great doctor, however, explained Michael"s state very much as the Italian doctor had done. He was in an exhausted condition. What was essential to him was rest. He must not be made to see anyone or do anything he did not like.
"Your brother will regain his health entirely," the great man had said, "if he is left in peace, and nothing happens to overexcite him. He is worn to a shadow by that accursed prison. Many men in his condition can"t rest. Then they die. He can. He has the temperament that acquiesces. He will cure himself if he is left alone. Let him lie in the sun, and give nature a chance."
In spite of his anxiety Wentworth saw that Michael"s bodily strength was slowly returning. Every afternoon he left him half asleep in the sun, and rode over to see Fay. Since she had accepted him it had become a necessity to him to see her every day.
Wentworth had long been bent to the dust under the pain of Michael"s imprisonment. Fay had been bent with anguish to the dust by the weight of her own silence which had kept him there.
And now in the twinkling of an eye they both stood erect, freed. Life was transfigured for both at the same instant.
This marvellous moment found them both just when they were deciding mildly to love each other. It took them and flung them together in a common overwhelming joy. It almost seemed as if the shock might make a man of Wentworth.
Did he half know (he was certainly always tacitly guarding himself against the a.s.sumption of such an idea in the minds of others) that he had so far been left out, not only from the whirl of life--he had deliberately withdrawn from that--but from the weft of life itself. The great loom had not swept him in. It had not appeared to need him. Some of us seem to hang on the fringe of life, of thought, of love, of everything. We are not for good or ill interwoven into the stuff, part of the pattern.
Wentworth felt young for the first time in his life, happy for the first time in his life, really energetic for the first time. A certain languid fatigue which had been with him from boyhood, which had always lain mournfully on its back waving its legs in the air like a reversed Battle, had now been jolted right side upper-most, and was using those legs, not as proofs of the emptiness of the world, but as a means of locomotion.
He had at first been enormously raised in his own self-esteem by his engagement to a young and beautiful woman. He was permanently relieved from the necessity of accounting to his friends for the fact that he was still unmarried, reminding them that it was his own fault. Perhaps at the bottom of his heart a fear lurked, implanted by the brutal Grenfell, that he was going to be an old maid. That fear was now dispelled. It was mercifully hidden from Wentworth that Grenfell and the Bishop and most of his so-called friends would still so regard him even if he were married.
But gradually and insensibly the many petty reasons for satisfaction which his engagement to Fay had given him, and even the delight in being loved, were overshadowed by a greater presence.
At first they had never been silent together. Wentworth liked to hear his own voice, and prosed stolidly on for hours with exquisite enjoyment and an eye to Fay"s education at the same time, about his plans, his aspirations, his past life (not that he had had one), the hollowness of society (not that he knew anything about it), a man"s need of solitude, and the solace of a woman"s devotion, its softening effect on a life devoted hitherto, perhaps, too entirely to intellectual pursuits.
Fay did not listen to him very closely. She felt that his mind soared beyond her ken. But she was greatly impressed, and repeated little bits of what he had said to Magdalen afterwards. And she looked at him with rapt adoration.
"Wentworth says that consideration in little things is what makes the happiness of married life," she would announce pontifically.
"How true!"
"And he says social life ought to be simplified."
"Indeed! Does he happen to mention how it is to be done?"
"He says it ought to be regulated, and that everyone ought to be at liberty to lead their own life, and not to be expected to attend cricket matches and garden parties, if you are so const.i.tuted that you don"t find pleasure in them. I used to think I liked garden parties, Magdalen, but I see I don"t now. I care more for the big things of life now. Does Everard ever talk to you like that when you and he are alone?"
"Never. Never."
"And Andrea never did, either. Wentworth is simply wonderful. You should hear him speak about fame being shallow, and how the quiet mind looking at things truly is everything, and peace not being to be found in the market place, but in a walk by a stream, and how in his eyes a woman"s love outweighs the idle glitter of a social success. Oh! Magdalen, I"m beginning to feel I"m not worthy of Wentworth. I"ve always liked being admired, so different from him. I did not know there were men so high-minded as he. He makes me feel very petty beside him. And he is so humble. He says I must not idealise him, that he does not _wish_ it, for though he may not be worse or better than I think he is only too conscious of his many deficiencies. But I can"t help it. Who could?"
And Fay let fall a tear.
"We needs must love the highest when we see it."
But the highest some of us can see is the nearest molehill.
What Michael and the Duke had failed to do for Fay Wentworth was accomplishing.
"You are made for each other," said Magdalen, with conviction. "Every day shows me that you and Wentworth bring out the best in each other.
Perhaps, gradually, you will keep nothing back from each other, tell each other everything."
"He tells me everything now," said Fay. "He trusts me entirely."
"And you?" said Magdalen. "Do you tell him everything?"
Wentworth, too, had reached the conviction that he and Fay were made for each other. He might have starved out the deeper love, the truth and tenderness of a sincerer nature, if it had been drawn towards him. He had often imagined himself as being the recipient of the lavished devotion of a woman beautiful, humble, exquisite and n.o.ble, whose truth was truth itself, and had vaguely wondered why she had not come into his life. But perhaps if he had met such a woman, and if she had loved him as he pined to be loved, he would have become suspicious of her, and would have left her after many vacillations. He did not instinctively recognise humility and n.o.bility when he met them, because they bore but slight resemblance to the stiff lay figures which represented those qualities in his mind. To meet them in reality would have been to him bewilderment, disappointment, disillusion.
Fay was not only what he seemed to want, what he had feebly longed for.
She was more than this. Her nature was the complement of his. A lack of shrewdness, of mental grasp, a certain silliness were absolutely essential to the maintenance of a lifelong devotion to him. Wentworth had found the right woman to give him what he wanted. Fay had found the right man.
Love, which had been knocking urgently at their doors for so many futile years, heard at last a movement as of someone stirring within, and a hand upon the disused latch.
CHAPTER x.x.x
O Yanna, Adrianna, They buried me away In the blue fathoms of the deep, Beyond the outer bay.
But in the Yule, O Yanna, Up from the round dim sea And reeling dungeons of the fog I am come back to thee!
--BLISS CARMAN.
Wentworth stood at the open window of the library watching Michael.
Michael was lying on a deck chair on the terrace playing with a puppy.
His face was losing a certain grey drawn look which it had worn since he had left prison. He looked more like himself since his hair had time to grow. Wentworth felt that he ought to be rea.s.sured about him, but a vague anxiety hara.s.sed him.
Suddenly, without a moment"s warning, the puppy fell asleep. Michael made a movement to reach it, but it was just beyond his grasp.
In an instant Wentworth was beside him, lifting the sleeping ma.s.s of sleek fat on to Michael"s knee. Michael"s long hands made a little crib for it.
"He will sleep now for a bit," he said contentedly.
"Do _you_ sleep better?" said Wentworth. He had not forgotten those first nights at Venice when Michael"s feeble step had dragged itself to and fro in the next room half the night.
"I sleep like a top. I"m asleep half the time."
"You are much better the last few days."
"Oh! I"m all right."
"All Hampshire has been to call. I knew you would be bored, so I did not let them disturb you."
"Thanks."
"Is there anyone you would like to see?"
"No one that I know of."