CHAPTER x.x.xI
She sees no tears, Or any tone Of thy deep groan She hears: Nor does she mind Or think on"t now That ever thou Wast kind.
--HERRICK.
It quickly became plain to Magdalen that Fay"s peace of mind had been shaken by her interview with Michael. She had vouchsafed no word concerning it on her way home. But in the days that followed she appeared ill at ease, and a vague and increasing unrest seemed to possess her. Magdalen doubted whether she had as yet asked herself what it was that was disturbing her tranquillity. But it was at any rate obvious that she shrank from seeing Michael again, and that she was at times dejected in Wentworth"s presence.
Wentworth perceived the change in her, and attributed it to a most natural and pardonable jealousy of Michael to which, while he made the fullest allowance for it, he had no inclination to yield.
Michael had for a moment seemed to take more interest in life after Fay"s visit, and although he had quickly relapsed into apathy Wentworth told himself that he was anxious to foster this nascent interest by another meeting between him and Fay. At the same time he desired to rehea.r.s.e the part of central figure poised between two great devotions which was to be his agreeable _role_ in the future. For Michael would of course live with them after his marriage with Fay. And if there were any ebullitions of jealousy between Fay and Michael--Wentworth dwelt with complacency on the possibility--he felt competent to deal with them with tact and magnanimity, rea.s.suring each in turn as to their equal share in his affections.
Michael at any rate showed no disinclination to meet Fay again, and even evinced something verging on a desire to see Magdalen. And presently Wentworth arranged to drive him over to luncheon at Priesthope.
Throughout life he had always liked to settle, even in the most trivial matters, what Michael should do, with whom he should a.s.sociate. The situation was not new, nor was there any novelty in Michael"s pliability.
But when the day came Wentworth arrived without his brother, and evidently out of temper. Magdalen asked if Michael were less well, and was curtly a.s.sured that he was steadily improving. The luncheon dragged through somehow as under a cloud. Colonel Bellairs was fortunately absent on a visit to Miss Barnett at Saundersfoot. His absence was the only silver lining to the cloud. Fay hardly spoke. Magdalen was thankful that her p.r.i.c.kly Lord Lossiemouth had departed the day before.
After luncheon, when they were sitting on the terrace over their coffee, Bessie left them, and Magdalen was about to do the same, when Wentworth said suddenly:
"I left Michael with the Bishop of Lostford. That is why he is not here now. The Bishop is inducting the new Rector of Wrigley this afternoon, and he sent a wire this morning--he is always doing things at the last moment--he never considers others--to say that he would call at Barford on his way to see Michael. Michael is his G.o.dson, and he has always been fond of him. I left them together."
Magdalen and Fay sipped their coffee in silence.
"Michael had been as inert and apathetic as usual," continued Wentworth sullenly, "until the Bishop appeared. The Bishop took him off into the garden, though I said I did not like his going out so soon after dressing--he was only just up--and it was perfectly plain they did not want me. I believe that was why they went out. I was of no account. The Bishop has always been like that, your friend one day, and oblivious of you the next. But he and Michael seemed to have a great deal to say to each other. I watched them from the library walking up and down. Michael can walk quite well when he wants to. Then when the victoria came round--I thought he would find that less fatiguing than the dogcart--I went to tell him that it was time to start, but he only stared vaguely at me, and the Bishop took his arm and said that you must excuse him for this once, as he did not mean to let him go at that moment. So I came away without him."
"There will be many more opportunities of seeing us, and one must clutch what few chances one can of seeing the Bishop," said Magdalen.
"When I went to warn Michael that the carriage was there," continued Wentworth, "he did not see me till I was quite near--there was a bush between--and I could not help hearing him say, "That was half an hour before I was arrested.""
There was an uneasy silence.
"It seems," said Wentworth with exceeding bitterness, "that I have not Michael"s confidence. The Bishop has it, but I, his only brother. Oh, no. He can talk to the Bishop about his imprisonment, but to me--not a word, not a single word. At first when we were together at Venice I asked him quietly about it once or twice. I asked him why he had never said a word to _me_ about it at the time, why he had not confided to me at any rate that he was shielding the Marchesa, but I soon saw that the subject distressed him. He always became confused, and he never would reply. Once, since we were back at Barford, when he seemed clearer, I asked him most earnestly to tell me one thing, whether he actually witnessed the murder of the Marchese by his wife, as she supposed, and what had first put it into his head to take the blame on himself. But it seemed that any allusion to the subject exhausted and worried him. I said to him at last: "Do you still hate talking of it as much as ever?"
And he said "yes." I could understand that, and from that day to this I never alluded to it again. But though he won"t say a word to me, it seems he can to others."
The miserable jealousy in Wentworth"s face touched Magdalen.
"He knew you had strained every nerve to save him," said Wentworth, turning to Fay. "Has he ever shown his grat.i.tude for what you tried to do for him?"
"N-no," stammered Fay.
"His imprisonment has changed his nature, that is what it is. He went in alive, and he has come out dead. He has ceased to care for anything or anyone. He has been killed by inches. He was so affectionate as a boy. I was father and mother to him. He used to trot after me like a little dog. And if anyone had his whole confidence I had. I was everything to him. My one fear of marrying has always been that he might feel pained at seeing another person first with me." (Wentworth had never had this altruistic misgiving, but he stated it with conviction.) "But now he is not the same. I suppose he still has some affection for me. He shows it sometimes by a kind of effort. He seemed to wake up a bit after you came over, Fay. I think he had a sort of glimpse from things I said to him of what love can be, and just for a moment he was more like his old self, and appeared to enter into my feelings. But he soon sank back again. As often as not he seems to shrink from any real conversation. We sometimes sit whole evenings together without speaking. He does not really want me any more, or anyone. He talked at first a little about the Italian doctor, but he never mentions him now. And as for my marriage, as for being distressed by my caring for someone else," resentfully, "he is absolutely indifferent. You would think that Fay and I, the two people of all others who have done most for him, who have grieved most over him, who have shown him most affection, were nothing to him."
There was a ghastly silence.
"I don"t blame him," said Wentworth with something nearer pa.s.sion than he had ever experienced before, in which even his petty jealousy was momentarily extinguished. "At least, I can"t look at him and remain angry with him. It breaks my heart to see him like this, so callous, so regardless of all I have suffered on his account. I don"t blame him. He is not himself. His brain is weakened by his poor body. No. The person I do blame is that accursed woman who allowed him to suffer for her, who skulked behind him for two endless years, who let him sacrifice his life for hers, who never had the courage to say the word, and take her crime upon herself, and get him out of his living grave."
Fay became cold as death in the May sunshine. What ghost was this which was taking form before her? What voice was this, how could it be Wentworth"s voice, which was saying at last aloud with pa.s.sion what that other accusing voice within had so hoa.r.s.ely, so persistently whispered from its cell, during the long years? Her brain reeled.
"The Marchesa did repent," said Magdalen.
Wentworth laughed harshly.
"Oh, yes. On her deathbed, in order to save her soul. She wanted to be right with the next world. But how could she go on, year in year out, letting him burn and freeze alternately in that vile cell? She must have known, someone must have told her, what his life was like. How well I remember, Fay, your saying: "Why does not the real murderer confess? How can he go on letting an innocent man wear out his life in prison, bearing the punishment of his horrible crime?" How little we both knew.
I always supposed the a.s.sa.s.sin was a man, a common criminal of the lowest order. Yet it seems there are women in the world, educated, refined women, who can remorselessly pinch a man"s life out of him with their white hands. The Marchesa has murdered two people, first her husband, and then my boy, my foolish, quixotic, generous Michael. May G.o.d forgive her! I never will!"
CHAPTER x.x.xII
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you.
--W. B. YEATS.
Je veux aimer, mais je ne veux pas souffrir.
--A. DE MUSSET.
In the days that followed the Bishop"s visit Michael"s mind showed signs of rea.s.serting itself. He was as quickly exhausted as ever, and with fatigue came the old apathy and helpless confusion of ideas. But his languid intelligence had intervals of increasing clearness. His face took on at these times a strained expression, as if he dimly saw something with which he felt powerless to cope. We see such a look sometimes, very piteous in its impotence, in the faces of the old, when an echo reaches them of the anguish of the world in which they once lived, which they have well nigh forgotten.
Michael"s body, which had so far profited by the inertness of his faculties, resented the change, and gave unmistakable signs of relinquishing the slight degree of strength it had regained.
Wentworth became suddenly frantically anxious once more, and in a moment the wrongs on which he was brooding were forgotten. He decided to go to London the same day under the guise of business, and to consult the great doctor privately about Michael, perhaps arrange to bring him back with him.
"I wish you would drive oftener," he said to Michael before he left.
"It"s much better for you than walking up and down. Why not, if you feel inclined, as you will be alone all day, drive over to Priesthope this afternoon. I said you would come the first day you could. It"s only four miles, just an easy little drive."
An indefinable change pa.s.sed over Michael"s vacant face at the mention of Priesthope. His eyes became fixed. He looked gravely at his brother, as if the latter had solved some difficult problem.
"It"s a good idea," he said slowly. "I ought to have gone before, but----"
"The Bishop stopped you most inconsiderately last time."
"Did he? I don"t remember being stopped. Oh! yes, yes, I do. But if I _had_ gone that day---- But anyhow I will go to-day."
Fay was sitting alone in the morning-room at Priesthope, pretending to read, when Michael was announced.
When he had been conveyed to a chair and had overcome the breathlessness and semi-blindness that any exertion caused him he saw that she looked ill, and as if she had not slept.
"I ought to have come before," he said mechanically, making a great mental effort and putting his hand to his head. "I meant to come, but----" he looked hopelessly at her. He had evidently forgotten what he intended to say.
"The day you were coming with Wentworth the Bishop stopped you," said Fay drearily. Every word that Wentworth had said that afternoon was still echoing discordantly in her brain.
"That"s it. The Bishop," said Michael with relief. "He told me, we had a long talk"--his mind was clearing rapidly--"how you meant to save me."