"You and I are married, Ingrid. Please remember that. Marriage isn"t that easy."
"No," she said, "it isn"t that easy. Maybe that"s why we failed."
"I don"t see how I failed you."
"You gave me up for Adolf Hitler."
"Be careful about what you say, Ingrid."
"I want a divorce."
He sighed, shook his head in disbelief, then finished off his schnapps. "We"ve talked about this before," he reminded her, placing his gla.s.s on the table that separated them, "and you know it"s out of the question. I won"t risk my career with a divorce. Who is this man, anyway?"
"You don"t need to know that."
"Not Jewish, I hope."
"No."
"Do I know him?"
"No."
"If I discover that he"s Jewish, I"ll turn you in for the good of the children."
"How n.o.ble you are, Ernst." Ingrid lit a cigarette, blew the smoke toward the ceiling, then gazed obliquely at him through a blue haze. "All right," she said, "for the good of the children let"s remain man and wife. I"ll continue seeing my lover, you"ll continue seeing your wh.o.r.es, and we"ll both live happily ever after, while supporting the Third Reich."
"Some day your tongue will get you into trouble."
"At least it"s still my tongue."
The schnapps had helped to calm him down and now kept him in control. He stood up and straightened his jacket, feeling very calm indeed, then walked around the low table and leaned over and slapped her face. Once. No more. A single, stinging blow. Then he straightened up and saw her look of shock and smiled thinly at her.
"Be a wh.o.r.e," he said, "but do it discreetly or you"ll get worse than that." She didn"t reply. She was rubbing her red cheek. He could hear the children playing in the bedroom and his heart went out to them. They were the new generation, the future, and he had to protect them. "I"m going out," he said. "I won"t bother you with my attentions. Anything I want, I"ll get from my favourite wh.o.r.e, who knows me better than you do. I antic.i.p.ate being back for my supper, so please have it ready. When I"m on duty or at the barracks, you can do as you please; but when I"m here you"ll treat me as your husband. Is that understood?"
"Yes," she said.
"Good."
When he left, he closed the door without slamming it like a dutiful husband.
With most of the day to kill before he had to report to Himmler, he took a packed, clattering tramcar to the city centre, noted with grim pleasure that his newly laundered SS uniform encouraged people to lower their gaze nervously in his presence, disembarked in the Kurfrstendamm, and planned what to do while having his next gla.s.s of schnapps in a busy cafe. Realizing that his relationship with Ingrid was definitely finished and surprised at his lack of emotion about it, he thought of Brigette in the luxurious apartment on Tiergartenstra.s.se and knew instantly how he wanted to spend his afternoon.
"Darling!" Brigette exclaimed in that inimitably sensual, breathless manner when he phoned from the cafe. "You"re back at last from the high seas! Did you bring me a present?"
"Yes," he lied, amused and excited by her husky-voiced, challenging mockery.
"Was it expensive, dear Ernst?"
"Yes, Brigette, it was."
"Then come straight over, darling! I can"t wait to see you!"
He bought her a diamond brooch in an expensive shop on Tauentzienstra.s.se, then walked to her apartment, still trying to adjust to the contrast between the isolation of sea and the energetic bustle of Berlin with its tramcars, buses, taxis, horse-drawn cabs, and growing number of army vehicles. An occasional mounted Storm Trooper made his way through the noisy traffic on his horse, the n.a.z.i swastika and anti-Jewish signs were visible everywhere, and the green-uniformed, respected members of the Reichswehr mingled on the pavements with the feared Brownshirts, black-uniformed SS, and elegantly dressed shoppers and businessmen. All in all, on the surface, where the fear was not visible, the Third Reich seemed purposeful, energetic, and surprisingly prosperous.
Brigette also looked prosperous, even more so than usual. She came to the door wearing a shimmering lime-green bathrobe of pure silk, artfully opened at the top to expose her voluptuous, bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and her red hair, immaculately combed, fell around her calculating green eyes and full, sensual lips. Her cigarette was in an ebony holder and her fingernails, Ernst noticed, were painted the same colour as her hair.
"Ah!" she exclaimed with a throaty purr. "My handsome lieutenant! I"ve missed you so much, cheri!"
She used the French endearment deliberately, making it sound deliciously decadent. Ernst stepped quickly into the room and kicked the door closed behind him. He took her into his arms, pulling her to him, feeling her heat, and she smiled, rubbing her belly lightly against him, then blew a cloud of smoke.
"Mmmm," she murmured, letting her body sink into him. "You greedy boy! You poor, famished hero. Did you miss me terribly, darling?"
"Yes," he said, already breathless.
"And dream about me?"
"Yes, yes!"