"No one," I said with the wave of my hand. "I was just, um . . ."
Winston looked over at the cold soot in Livie"s fireplace. "Where she at, miz? I been wonderin" why I haven"t caught a glimpse of her for de better part of a day."
An understanding glimmer filled his eyes, and I knew I must trust him. "She"s disappeared," I blurted out. "She is upset about Fatima, and I fear Aunt Augusta will notice her absence."
Winston swallowed hard. "This is bad, miz. This is mighty bad."
"Please help me cover for her until I can figure out where she has gone."
"I"ll do what I can here in de Run," he said, rushing over to spark a fire in her hearth. "Smoke risin" from her chimney will mark her as present, but no slave goes missin" fo" long. Ol" Winston can"t fool a paddy roller or hound when a runaway is cornered."
When I returned to the house, I lingered on the front porch, watching for James, who occasionally came up to the stables to check the condition of the work shoes secured on the horses. My heart sank when I remembered he had been hired out for the week to shoe the horses at the Henderson plantation. Their farrier, Casey, lost a finger while replacing a wagon wheel before Christmas, and Uncle Mooney was more than happy to make a little extra money on James"s sweat and expertise. His absence troubled me because had he been here on the plantation, Livie would have sought comfort from him and he would have calmed her. My biggest fear was that in her desperation, Livie went looking for him. The Henderson plantation was at least eight miles by wagon, and if she was caught off our property, the repercussions would be unstoppable. Mercy was an unknown ent.i.ty to slave patrollers.
"Hannalore, what were you doing in the slave quarters?" Aunt Augusta must have seen me through the window and wasted no time in confronting me.
"Elijah alerted me to a brush fire on the hillside. I was the first person he encountered on his search for help."
"Where is Livetta? She should be with you to offer her a.s.sistance. As your personal servant, she is expected to be at your side to intervene in urgent situations."
"That"s my fault, Miz "Gusta," Winston said, appearing unexpectedly from behind me. "With Esther Mae busy in de root cellar, I asked Livetta to fetch my jar of poultice from de cabin. She saw de fire too, and had a bucket o" water on it before Miz Hannah had to lift a finger. She went to change her drenched wool stockings, but will be back directly. Do you want me to send her yo" way?"
I held my breath at Winston"s bold bluff.
"That won"t be necessary," Aunt Augusta uttered after brief hesitation. "As long as you have seen her. I have yet to cross paths with her and was concerned she was shirking her duties. I will be in my room, balancing my accounts, and have no use for meaningless distractions."
"Yas"sum." Winston glanced at me like a soldier barely dodging a bullet. "I"ll make sho" you is not disturbed."
I grew more frantic upon realizing how easily our charade could unravel. Time was of the essence, and now I had implicated Winston in my scheme. The weather had turned colder and the ring around the yester moon promised snow. With most of the day still ahead of me, I decided to take matters into my own hands. If Livie was not in Mud Run, I tried imagining where she might go for refuge. She was not familiar with the people and surroundings beyond the plantation; therefore, she would not wander far. Suddenly, it occurred to me. The cave! The cave! Yes, the cave where I first hid her after she had been shot. I should have thought of it sooner. Yes, the cave where I first hid her after she had been shot. I should have thought of it sooner.
With Aunt Augusta immersed in financial matters, I was confident I could move without suspicion. I navigated the upper field against the cutting wind, which eased once I penetrated the wooded hillside. Within the harbor of trees, I sprinted up the path toward the peak. I pushed on with frigid air clawing down my throat and burning my lungs. The waters of Emerald Cove were sculpted into frozen perfection, with the exception of a thin line of water trickling down the frosty cliff towering above me. By the time I reached the evergreen hollow, the bleakness that enveloped me p.r.i.c.kled my skin with cautious anxiety. Trees staggered and moaned against the a.s.sault of icy gusts whipping across the peak. My heart leapt when I caught a glimpse of shadowed swirls riding the wind. Unsure, I squinted to focus on the air moving across the treetops. There it was again, clearer this time. Gray smoke twirling from the stone ridge. She"s here. She"s here.
When I reached the mouth of the cave, I removed my cloak so it would not be dirtied as I crawled in the entrance. Inside the air was moist and cool, but a large blaze in the fire pit threw off a warm glow at the center of the cave. There was no movement except for the lapping flames; however, two ashcakes on a flat rock near the fire told me what I needed to know.
"I know you are here." Livie did not answer, but a soft scuff of feet drew my attention to the far shadows.
"All is fine," I said to rea.s.sure her. "You never have to hide from me."
"You alone?" The deep, husky voice of a man shot my heart up into my throat. Fright toppled me backward, stumbling for the cave entrance. In an instant, two large arms clamped around me and dragged me deeper into the cave. My scream echoed off of every wall. I kicked and flailed my arms, desperately trying to break free, only to have the arms clench me tighter. The man bellowed in my ear, but I could not hear him over my own wail. We tangled fiercely, tripping over each other into a heap on the ground. He scrambled on top of me and clamped his hand over my mouth, smothering my cries.
"Stop howlin", girl! I ain"t gonna hurt you."
My sight was clouded by terror, but the tired eyes looking down at me hinted at no danger or ill will. They searched me for recognition, and once I stopped screaming, the hand lifted from my mouth.
"It"s me," the voice whispered. "Marcus."
"Gracious be."
They were the only two words that burbled from me as we lay there nose to nose. Marcus looked exhausted and panicked, in part because of my unexpected appearance. His face had matured with the shadow of a beard, but his copper eyes grew soft as the warm mist of our breath rolled between us. He shifted off me and rose to his feet. The proper reaction to our physical interaction should have been outrage, but instead I flushed with embarra.s.sment when he offered his hand to help me up.
"Didn"t mean to be rough, but you was like a wildcat, girl. You all right?"
I straightened my disheveled dress. "I am fine, but you scared me half to death."
Marcus chuckled. "I about jumped out o" my hide right along with you. My heart is still bangin"."
The shock of the moment finally eased enough for my throat to unclench. "You look different."
"So do you," he said.
"Your eyes," I said, looking beyond their dark gaze and sensing the fort.i.tude within. "Like you"ve seen a dozen years in ten months" time."
"There is a lot to see when you is treadin" new territory. "Spect the same goes fo" you. Your eyes is more knowin" and growed- up since I last looked in "em." His plump lips tugged into a half grin. "More alive and shinin" with gumption."
He gestured to the flat rock near the fire. Settling in the amber glow, we paused to take stock of each other. He measured me with uncertain eyes, as if determining if the trust we once shared was still intact. It had been nearly a year, and once again I unexpectedly stumbled into his lap when all he wanted was to remain out of sight. I was a threat by virtue of my presence. I, on the other hand, was completely at ease, probably because he crept into my thoughts nearly every day.
"I ain"t afraid o" much," he said, his face as vulnerable as a little boy"s. "But I"s scared as a stray pup to ask you this question. What happened to my Livetta?"
"Have you seen her?" I asked hopefully.
"You mean she ain"t round here no more?"
"No . . . I mean, yes," I fumbled, forgetting Marcus had no clue as to Livie"s fate after he left her in my care. "What I mean to say is, she has been here with me, living at Hillcrest."
I melted at the joy and relief that brightened his face. I had forgotten how much his protectiveness moved me. A swell of emotion warmed me like finding a long-lost friend. I decided not to alarm him with Livie"s disappearance unless absolutely necessary.
"She"s been doing well, Marcus." I smiled as the wall between us fell away. "She has been safe and healthy. We tricked my aunt into believing Livie was a gift presented to me by Colt. He drew up false papers."
I told him about Livie"s recovery from her gunshot wound and her time at Hillcrest. He nodded approvingly as I described the caring relationship she found with James, and how he stayed with her after the disappointment of thinking Marcus had returned, only to learn it was a mysterious runaway from West Gate. Marcus leaned closer with great interest.
"What do you mean by mysterious mysterious?"
"Well, the hounds were sent after him, but I took measures to confuse them in their tracking. The man was not brought back; however, there was no mention of a runaway announced. It was like he never existed."
"Where is this shed you is talkin" about? The one where the slave boy run from."
"It"s by the dog pen on the back lot of my uncle"s plantation."
Marcus took it in and considered it. "As long as I know Livetta is safe, I don"t wanna chance sneakin" around here. The signs ain"t right. The deep o" winter is harsh and I gots"ta keep movin". Only pa.s.sed this way to find out if she is still here. I"ll be back when my journey turns north again." His eyes glimmered with soft appreciation. He reached to touch my arm, then stopped as if being scolded by an inner voice. "Thank you fo" lookin" after her, Miz-"
"Don"t." I held up my hand to stop his formality, and accidentally brushed his lips. "Please call me by my name. It"s Hannah."
"I remember," he said, letting his words form against my trembling fingertips. I eased my fingers away in sheer terror at how natural it felt. We were both in unfamiliar territory, causing us to hesitate and wonder at each other. A thousand thoughts danced in his eyes, yet he remained where he was, hands at his side.
"You won"t never know how much it means to me that you kept yo" promise about Livetta. It was a mighty big risk, and you could o" turned yo" back on the lot of us."
"I do not deserve thanks," I said, humbled by his appreciation. "Since Livie has been here with me, I have been happier than I have been for a very long time. I feel more like the woman I really am, instead of acting the empty role of a girl designed by people I hold no respect for."
This made him smile, connecting us once more. I asked him about his journey north. He was vague and circ.u.mspect in the details, not saying how long it took or where, exactly, they ended up. It was clear the trip was long and hard. Listening to him chronicle the hardships and cruel conditions they navigated, I marveled at the strength and courage he possessed in keeping the group moving north.
"Ol" Rose gave out and died a few weeks after we left here. Calvin"s heart was so broke after losin" his mama, he flat refused to go on without her. I don"t know what become of him. Seven more slaves joined up with us along the way. Two was killed when a tree come down during a late-summer thunderstorm. Raizy saved Lillabelle from bein" swept away as we crossed a rain-swelled creek. Lillabelle"s mama and brother drowned, but Raizy took the shattered chile under her wing."
"With so much adversity, how did you keep them from giving up?"
"With the truth," he said with utter conviction. "I tell "em any journey worth takin" is gonna be hard and treacherous, "specially if the path is new and untried. Not everyone will make it. Some don"t even have the gumption or know-how to venture off their ma.s.sa"s property. I tell "em the first steps is the hardest "cuz it is jes" a beginning. We don"t know fo" sure where our footsteps will take us, and there is no promise o" glory in the end. But I remind "em that a beginning can only take hold if the journey continues. Even when delivered the worst kind of heartache and pain, our footsteps need to keep goin" forward if we believe in the path we is followin"."
"In the end, did you find the journey to be worth the risk and effort?"
"Well, the North ain"t the land o" milk and honey I imagined." He smiled with a tinge of sadness. "Our journey did not end when we stepped foot on free soil. But it is still a beginning. At least with our arms and legs free of chains, the journey can move forward. When it"s time fo" me to lay down and die, then the journey will continue with my children, and their children beyond. It"s a promise bridge of the greatest kind."
Overwhelmed by his vision, I shook my head in wonder. "Is there no end or reward?"
"Does anybody"s journey ever end?" he asked circ.u.mspectly. "Or does it continue in those that come from them, both friend and kin?" He paused to collect his thoughts until his face warmed with prideful determination. "Fo" me, the reward is in the now, knowing a new and special journey has been put in motion because we made sure the beginning took hold by stayin" strong and puttin" one foot in front of the other so we can keep movin" ahead on the path. Most of us stayed together and are settled in the mountains of Pennsylvania. The horizon ain"t much different from here, but the view is a mite prettier when you is lookin" through the eyes of freedom. Even hardships look different when they ain"t forced on you by a ma.s.sa."
Marcus"s face was filled with accomplishment and purpose. I was in awe of devotion so strong, it would bring him back into the belly of the beast. He was like no man I ever met. Contentment flowed through me as we sat and talked, although the pleasure was short- lived when it dawned on me that his return would mean Livie"s exodus. Or did it?
"Did you say you are venturing south?"
"That"s right," he said, offering me an ashcake. I declined and watched him devour it. "I want to bring more folks out if I can."
"Marcus, that"s too dangerous."
"I gots"ta," he said, matter-of-fact. "There is folks like me all over the South, cryin" and prayin" to be delivered into freedom and given the chance at a new beginning."
"Why you?" I said, fearful at the risk he was taking. "Coming back for Livie is perilous enough, but at least I understand how a soul can put oneself in jeopardy for someone you love. Why take further risk by going south?"
"Because I know the way." Marcus swallowed what was left of the ashcake and brushed the soot from his hand. "The stars talk to you if you know how to listen, and signs point the way if you know what to look fo". What kind o" selfish man would I be if used what I know fo" only me and mine?"
His words nudged my heart. "When will you leave?"
"Tonight," he said. "By the light o" the moon."
"What am I to tell Livie?"
Standing and pacing, he considered my question. "Don"t tell her I been here and gone. She is hardheaded enough to come lookin" fo" me. It"s best if she don"t know, "cuz there is no tellin" how much time will pa.s.s befo" I make it back." His eyes grew soft when he looked over at me. "If I get caught or killed, she won"t be heartbroke all over again."
"Don"t say such an awful thing," I choked out, as he gathered his things into a satchel. However, it was just his way of being practical, so I steadied my emotion. "At least let me bring you some food for your journey."
"I got plenty." He nodded thankfully as he wrapped a generous portion of cheese and dried beef in a cloth before tucking it with the rest. What a sharp contrast to how ragged and hungry he had been the first time he pa.s.sed through. Obviously, I was not his only stop along the way. He scuffed dirt over the embers in the pit, snuffing the flame.
"The sun is settin"," he said with a glance toward the faded orange glint leaking through the gap in the rocks far above. "Ain"t gonna send you off in the dark." He squeezed my hand gently in his. "I"ll walk you down as far as the tree line, and then I gots"ta be on my way."
Marcus skillfully led me through the twilight. We did not speak and our hands did not part until we reached the trees bordering the upper field. Once there, he took my other hand as well, letting our fingers intertwine. He turned them up between us as he had the first time we parted when he asked for my promise to care for Livie. This time he asked nothing of me. Ripples of moonlight cascaded across his mahogany skin, revealing tender temptation as he ran his eyes over every curve of my face as if etching it into memory. I tensed with disbelief at the sudden tug between us. As if stung by the same forbidden barb, Marcus burst from me and disappeared into the woods, leaving me breathless within the discerning glare of a full moon.
Chapter 20.
I had yet to close my eyes in sleep when a lone rooster offered a distant cry into the predawn stillness surrounding me. I lay staring at the ceiling, torn between thoughts of Marcus and worry for Livie. My encounter with Marcus on the peak left me whirling in confusion. My mind re-created the touch of my fingers on Marcus"s lips. How could I willingly allow an intimacy that had always been reserved for Colt? The sensation was different from anything I had ever known. Perhaps time had made Colt too familiar to stir the same unexpected pull in me. A dormant part of me had been awakened. It thrilled and terrified me from every side had yet to close my eyes in sleep when a lone rooster offered a distant cry into the predawn stillness surrounding me. I lay staring at the ceiling, torn between thoughts of Marcus and worry for Livie. My encounter with Marcus on the peak left me whirling in confusion. My mind re-created the touch of my fingers on Marcus"s lips. How could I willingly allow an intimacy that had always been reserved for Colt? The sensation was different from anything I had ever known. Perhaps time had made Colt too familiar to stir the same unexpected pull in me. A dormant part of me had been awakened. It thrilled and terrified me from every side Guilt washed over me, but nothing pained me as much as the thought of Livie being gone. Restless anxiety drove me from my bed to dress and await the rebirth of the sun. I had to find her before day"s end, even if I had to comb the mountainside in outright disobedience of Aunt Augusta"s command to conduct myself as a proper lady. I would address the consequences as they came to me.
"Land sakes, Miz Hannah," Granny Morgan said as I pushed open the door of the kitchen. "Why is you up wit" de chickens? Let me get some biscuits in de oven fo" you."
"No rush, Granny. My appet.i.te remained in bed this morning."
I hurried from the kitchen before Granny could protest, and before Esther Mae came in from the woodshed to scrutinize my actions. I went to the hall closet and retrieved my woolen cloak. When I opened the front door, a burst of frigid air rushed over me, so I lowered my head and marched forth, closing the door without sound.
Once I was outside, it occurred to me that I had not organized a plan for my search. It required me to be efficient and discreet; therefore, rather than plow ahead, I went across the yard to the carriage house, where I could seek shelter from the elements while collecting my thoughts. I was relieved when Winston was not inside doing his ch.o.r.es. It gave me time to look around, even though I was certain the carriage house would be a poor choice for staying out of sight. My instincts proved correct, but as I poked around, I thought of dozens of other places on or near the plantation where Livie could take refuge, and I was encouraged.
I was drawn from the carriage house by the rattle of wagon wheels along the road halving the lower fields. Through the mist, I could make out the figure of a man perched on a buckboard. Where the road dipped, he slipped out of sight, but when the wagon rolled up over the hill I was surprised to see the anxious face of James. He slowed the horses and steered them to where I stood.
"James," I said, not sure what to make of his appearance.
"Mornin", miz." He glanced around, as if expecting to see someone else. He climbed down from the wagon and came to me, lowering his voice. "I got somethin" o" yorn in the back o" my wagon."
"Livie?" I whispered as my heart stuttered in my chest. I was washed with relief when he answered with a quick nod.
"She showed up at the Henderson place yesterday. She was scared, so she come lookin" fo" me. She nearly got caught by a pa.s.sel of paddy rollers. Don"t know how she found her way, she jes" kept wanderin" until she found me. She is sorry she run off."
"By the grace of G.o.d, Winston and I are the only ones who know she is gone. I have been sick with worry."
"Praise be," James mumbled as his tight shoulders eased. "I thought the dogs would be trackin" her by now. Take mercy on her, miz. She knows she talked out o" turn against you."
"I am not angry with her, James. It was a horrible misunderstanding. You were right to bring her to me. She is safe here. I fear you have been put at great risk by leaving the Henderson property."
James reached in the pocket of his jacket and took out a folded slip of paper. "I got a proper pa.s.s to be off the plantation. I figured the only way to get Livetta back here was to bring her myself, so I broke off the edge of Ma.s.sa Henderson"s ax head. He sent me out before sunup to fetch one o" mine from the blacksmith shop. Truth is, I got mine there in the wagon, but he didn"t know it."
The mound of burlap that concealed Livie shifted in the wagon. "Thank you, James. Your forethought and swift action prevented a catastrophe."
"I best get back before Ma.r.s.e Twitch or w.i.l.l.y Jack set their sights on me. Pa.s.s or no pa.s.s, they will whup me if I lose a mornin" of work."
I looked at the open carriage-house door. "When you turn your wagon around, back far enough into the carriage house for Livie to jump out unseen. The Runians will be stirring soon, so she will be able to move about and come to the house without notice."
James nodded and placed his hat back on his head.
"And, James," I said before he turned away. "Let Livie know how happy I am she is home."
I collapsed on my bed, exhausted from lack of sleep and inner turmoil. Livie was home, and my overturned world was righted once more. My wrung-out emotional state told me I had been more afraid of Livie"s fate than I had admitted to myself. I drifted in and out of sleep until a light tap on my door awoke me. The door cracked open and there stood Livie, shaken and unsure. I ran to her and wrapped her in a tight embrace.
"Don"t you ever scare me like that again," I said, and sniffled with relief.
Livie clung to me with regret. "I"s sorry I struck out at you when Fatima was taken away. I know you didn"t have no part in her bein" sold off. My mouth started spoutin" before my head could catch up. I figured I ruined it between us when I said I hate white folk."
"Expressing your honest emotion, even anger, will never ruin the bond between us, Livie. We are friends, and friends sometimes disagree or make mistakes. You were upset about Fatima. I understand completely. I knew when you recovered from the shock, you would trust me enough to know I would never take part in such a thing."
"Guess we really is friends fo" sure," she said wiping the back of her hand across her eyes. "Ain"t that a kick in the behind to a stubborn mule like me."