Xu Zijin had a feeling of peace and serenity. She didn"t feel sad about her blindness.
For a woman who had lost all hope of life, blindness didn"t hold any fear. In the past, she had had good eyesight but not seen through Fu Sinian"s tricks. Although she was blind now, she knew full well that Fu Sinian was greedy, cruel and full of wild ambitions.
It was a pity that she was still alive.
Xu Zijin tried to commit suicide on several occasions but failed. Every time she attempted suicide, the nurse who a.s.sumed overall care of Xu Zijin stopped her in time and gave her a lecture.
Afterwards, Xu Zijin worked through her depression and finally made peace with the truth. She had brought misfortune to her family members, and now she was afraid of getting the nurses and doctors into trouble. After all, they were innocent. Nowadays the relations.h.i.+p between patients and doctors were strained. If she suddenly died, the hospital would be blamed.
Besides, there were so many people around her every day that she had no chance to commit suicide.
Gradually, Xu Zijin gave up the idea of suicide.
Every day she did nothing but eat and sleep. It seemed as though she was in the depths of despair and the only thing she could do was to wait quietly for death.
Her deep love for Fu Sinian was gone. Even her hatred of him was slowly watered down. As Xu Zijin changed her att.i.tude towards life, she felt a sense of relief.
As time went on, her sleep grew more persistent. Although she felt good, the doctors and nurses got nervous as if they were facing a formidable enemy who might take her life at any time.
She knew that they were worried about her health because she was anorexic and autistic, and besides, she had many physical problems. In a word, she was in poor health.
But Xu Zijin didn"t care about her own health at all. She felt as if she had been released from the prison where she had been imprisoned for twenty-five years. She had her first taste of freedom in the last few months. She felt great.
However, her happy days were soon over...
The hospital recently hired a new male nurse called Fu Chen. He was a chatterbox and disturbed the peace of her life.
After he took over the job of taking care of her, Xu Zijin was troubled and tormented by his chatter.
When she had no appet.i.te and refused to eat, he lectured her by saying that every single grain was the fruit of farmers" hard work and lots of people in the world had nothing to eat.
When she only ate rice, he impressed on her the importance of a balanced diet and gave countless examples.
Xu Zijin was in a fractious mood. She covered her head with the quilt and went back to sleep.
She guessed that the man must have been a dumb person in his previous life. After reincarnation, he regained the power of speech and became a chatterbox. Every day she had to listen to him talk a lot. The man was mentally torturing her and his constant nagging almost drove her crazy.
If he had a good voice, she would like to listen to him. But in reality, he had a loud harsh voice. When he was cheery, he would sing a song. However, his singing was another unbearable torment to her.
Xu Zijin ran out of patience and had a strong desire to drive him away. But when she learned his story from the nurses, she changed her mind.
Her heart was softened and she decided to tolerate him.
The man led a miserable life. When he was a child, his parents died in an accident. Afterwards, he grew up and took a wife. Unfortunately, his wife committed suicide by jumping into the river.
He lost his father and mother at a very early age, and in his twenties, his wife left him too. After that, he was all alone in the world.
Worse still, he suffered disfigurement in a fire which also resulted in permanent damage to his throat. If she drove him away, he would be fired and lose his means of livelihood.
Xu Zijin was very sympathetic to his tragic experience because she had a similar past. So in a soft-hearted moment, she agreed to keep him. As a result, she had to carry on with his nagging.
"I am too softhearted," Xu Zijin sighed and had a presentiment that she would continually suffer for her impulsive decision.
Just then, the door of her ward was pushed open by someone from outside and she heard a familiar, harsh voice. Clearly her worries came true.
"It"s a lovely sunny day. The roses in the garden are in flower. Let"s go and enjoy the flowers," said Fu Chen.
Xu Zijin rolled her eyes and thought, "You must be out of your mind. Do you really think it"s a good idea to take a blind person to enjoy the flowers?"
She was about to refuse him, but as per usual, he ignored her feeble resistance, quickly picked her up and carried her out of the ward.