When the tears came, she shook with anger and grief. She stuffed a fist into her mouth to smother her sobs. The crescent moon was high overhead before the storm within her subsided.
Someone came and sat next to her. Kira was surprised to see Jaewon staring into the murky waters before them. They sat together for a long while. Kira counted the erratic beats of her broken heart until they steadied to a slow, ponderous rhythm. Her sigh came out in a little hiccup as she looked up at the clear, indigo sky.
"My parents are both in heaven now looking down upon us," she said. Her voice sounded raspy. A cold wind shook the bare limbs of the trees above them. She began to chew on a fingernail, ripping it painfully from its nail bed.
Jaewon finally spoke.
"I, too, have grieved more than I thought I could bear. So much so that I didn"t think I could survive."
His eyes were dark and bleak in the moonlight.
"What happened?" she asked.
Jaewon"s eyes shone with pain. "It"s not something I can talk about. But it haunts me every waking hour of my life. I lost someone I loved very much, and it was all my fault. His blood is forever on my hands. There is nowhere I can hide from my guilt, and I live every day with the pain of his loss."
She couldn"t stand to see the suffering in his face. It filled her with a strong compulsion to touch and soothe him. She didn"t like the sensation-it was far too confusing.
She jumped to her feet, trying to place some distance between them. Jaewon followed after her, a look of concern on his face.
"Kang Kira," he began.
"I have to go-"
"I"m sorry," he said.
She walked away, trying to forget the sadness she"d seen on Jaewon"s face.
23.
The group headed north, toward Guru, early the next morning. Mountains rose and valleys dipped, and brightly colored flora flew past their tired eyes.
Taejo was avoiding both of his cousins, preferring to ride with Jaewon and Seung. Since Kwan"s outburst, Taejo had withdrawn into himself.
Kira left him alone, understanding he needed privacy. She also stayed away from Kwan, who refused to talk to her, too lost in his own depression. For Kira, it took all her might not to fall into despair. Visions of her parents mixed with memories of Brother Insu and of a forest floor littered with dead monks. She prayed that Brother Woojin would survive his wounds, for she didn"t think she could handle any more guilt.
By midmorning, they arrived in the mountainous terrain of the Oakcho kingdom. On the side of the road, at the foot of a large hill, they pa.s.sed a group of jangseungs planted in a long row. Unlike the stone jangseungs that peppered the Hansong Kingdom, these were long planks of pine with heads carved at the top. The word Oakcho and directions to its capital, Sori, were written on one of the planks.
The well-traveled dirt road behind the jangseungs was teeming with people, walking, riding, or pushing wheelbarrows full of all their belongings. Many of them looked tired, as if they had been traveling for days. Kira saw a couple leading an ox, which carried two small children and a large basket strapped to its back.
So many people, she thought. All of us homeless.
Their arrival caused panic at first, people retreating in fright. It was only as they recognized the colors of the soldiers" uniforms that the travelers returned to their path.
Captain Pak waved down the driver of a wagon drawn by an old horse. In the cart sat an elderly couple, huddled together under a blanket, and a mother with three children, the youngest sitting in her lap.
"Grandfather, where do you hail from?" Captain Pak asked.
The driver gazed warily at the captain. "We come from the Jinhan Kingdom. The Yamatos burned down our villages and destroyed our lands. They took all our food and left us with nothing. We go north to seek asylum."
As the captain questioned the man, Kira moved closer, noticing the mother"s pallor and how the toddler in her arms shivered under a thin blanket. Pulling out an extra blanket from her bag, she rode closer.
"Here, why don"t you take this to wrap the baby," Kira said, holding it out to the woman.
The mother"s grateful smile changed to horror when she saw Kira"s face. She shook her head and turned away.
Kira chastised herself for forgetting her place. People would always hate her.
Suddenly, Captain Pak was by her side. She caught his concerned expression as he took the blanket from her and handed it to the mother.
"Take it," he ordered. "Don"t let your silly superst.i.tions harm your baby!"
With a frightened nod, she took the blanket and wrapped it tight around her child.
As Kira and the captain rode away to rejoin their forces, he said, "Don"t mind them; it"s just ignorance."
Kira let out a bitter laugh. "There seems to be a lot of ignorance in the world."
The captain nodded. "But you can change that, one person at a time."
Kira pondered over his meaning. She"d never tried to change anyone"s opinion of her. Was he saying that it was up to her? It seemed an impossible and ridiculous task, and yet his words stayed with her for a long time.
The darkness was absolute and terrifying. Kira lifted her hands in front of her face, but could see nothing. She blinked hard and rubbed her eyes. Still, the dark pressed her from all sides. Never before had she been so blind. She tried to walk forward, taking baby steps, over the brittle, uneven terrain. Tripping, she fell on her knees, her hands landing on hard fragments of what felt like bone. Kira took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She had no idea where she was.
"Oppa? Taejo?" Her voice echoed. There was no response. On her feet again, she kept moving forward, her hands before her, hoping to make contact with something. It seemed an eternity before she touched the cold, slimy surface of a wall. Grasping at it like a lifeline, she kept one hand on the surface and moved as fast as possible.
The darkness began to lighten as she rounded the bend. Red flickers distorted the shadows that leaped across the floor of the large cavern. A low, rhythmic chanting raised the hairs on her arms. The shadows elongated as something began to approach, disappearing as the flickering lights filled the cavern. Dark and misshapen creatures lurched toward her, red eyes gleaming over fangs bared in openmouthed grimaces.
Kira tried to run away, but behind her, more of the same creatures appeared. They rushed forward, gathering her up with long, pointed talons that dug into her flesh. The creatures raised Kira off her feet and into a p.r.o.ne position, their claws gripping so hard she couldn"t move. Screams choked out of her throat as she struggled to free herself. She could see nothing but the shadows that flickered across the walls and ceiling. Her terror was uncontrollable, agonizing. She had no idea where they were taking her or what they were going to do. All she knew was the overriding fear of something worse than death.
Fire shot up from the ground like geysers, and all around them fiendish figures danced about in wild abandon. Kira screamed again, over and over, but her screams excited the demons further, sending them into a rampage as they clawed her clothes and raked sharp talons against her flesh. Ahead, a figure grew to immense proportions in the midst of the dancing creatures. She knew immediately what it was: the Demon Lord.
Grayish-black skin gleamed as it filled her vision entirely, until all she saw before her was a face. Black eyes with red pupils stared at her while the great slash of a mouth turned into a large, gaping hole that pulled itself into a bizarre semblance of a smile. This creature looked nothing like she"d imagined. It was far worse.
Kira looked into the black eyes and found horror and death staring back at her. She tore her gaze away and saw the cavern had changed into a battlefield. Kwan and Jaewon fought Yamato soldiers of incredible speed and strength. One soldier looked directly at her, his skin melting away to reveal the demon underneath. Grinning, the demon stabbed Jaewon through his abdomen, while other creatures dragged Kwan from view.
The battlefield went up in a blaze of fire and then burned out to reveal Taejo alone, surrounded and outnumbered, but fighting bravely. A horde of half-breed soldiers rushed him all at once, engulfing Taejo until he disappeared.
"Taejo!" Kira screamed. "Taejo!"
She turned to the Demon Lord. "What do you want?"
The monster laughed. Smoke billowed from its mouth.
"The end of you all!" it replied, the voice bellowing as the enormous mouth grew larger and closer, until it surrounded her in darkness.
Kira woke with a scream lodged in her throat to find Jaewon shaking her by the shoulders.
"You were having a nightmare," he said. "I thought it best to wake you."
She wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face within the hollow.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, still crouched by her side.
Kira shook her head, still frightened by the dream and the darkness all about them.
"I"m scared," she said.
He pulled up a blanket and wrapped it around her. Slowly, Kira started to relax. They sat close together, staring up at the starry sky above.
"What"s going to happen to us?" she asked in a low voice.
"No one can know," he replied. "But I will be there by your side."
Something in the way he spoke brought back the mixed feelings from before, irking her.
"Ugh, you sound so mushy," she said, pushing him away.
He looked offended.
"What do you mean?"
She shrugged. "I don"t know. You"re acting too nice," she said.
He paused. "I"m sorry. I"ll try to be meaner from now on." He shoved her hard, knocking her sideways. "Was that better?"
She grinned as she sat up.
"Pathetic," she scoffed. "I know grandmas stronger than you."
"I"m not offended by that; my grandmother is the scariest woman I know."
"Coward."
"Ya! You"re not that tough," he said. "You"d be scared of her, too!"
Kira laughed at his mock anger. Jaewon"s face lit up with a smile, his eyes catching the glow of the fire.
"I love looking at your eyes," he said. "They remind me of honey and summer."
She was startled by his compliment.
"You"re strange," she said. "Most people are scared of me."
"Idiots!" he said.
"They"re not all idiots," she said.
"Yes, they are!" Jaewon was emphatic. "These are the same people who think it"s a good idea to treat a wound with horse manure."
"Disgusting!" she said. "So you"re comparing me to horse manure?"
Jaewon sputtered in denial, and Kira laughed.
"You should try to go to sleep," he said. "Good night."
Lying down, she closed her eyes, but sleep would not come. She gazed over to where Jaewon lay close by. He had draped his arm casually across his eyes. His firm lips parted slightly as his chest rose and fell.
She couldn"t help but compare him to Shin Bo Hyun. They were the same age but vast worlds apart. Yet they both claimed to find her attractive. Kira let out a frustrated groan. She didn"t want to think this way. She was a soldier, not a simpering court lady.
She glanced over at Jaewon just as he turned to face her. The light from the fire flickered over his face, accentuating his perfect features. He lay in utter stillness, his eyes filled with the infinite sadness that always seemed a part of him.
"Sleep well, Kang Kira," he whispered.
24.
The long and mountainous road they followed north had been a difficult one, but it was the safest leg of their travels. There"d been no demon attacks or sightings, only imp spies that had been taken care of by Kira. Rumors spread that the Yamatos had all retreated south to prepare for a full-scale attack. It explained why Shin Bo Hyun had not come after them.
Along the way, more and more displaced soldiers joined their forces. Men came out of hiding from all over the countryside. Some had been waging guerrilla warfare against the Yamatos. Others had wandered aimlessly until they heard of Taejo"s army. They joined by the hundreds, some with full armor and weapons, others with only a sword or a homemade spear, all of them with one mission: to fight the Yamatos. But even with nearly a thousand soldiers surrounding them, Kira kept Taejo close to her at all times.
The second week of the eleventh month brought down the cold winds of the north. Half their nights were spent camping in frigid temperatures that left Kira frozen under her blankets. To keep Taejo warm, she slept next to him, with Jindo on his other side.
Twenty days later, they finally reached the legendary walls of Wando, the Guru capital. Kira was eager to see her mother"s childhood home.
Wando was a great fortified city built into the mountains; its perimeter wall stretched beyond their sight. Protruding bulwarks were strategically placed for maximum defense, and the walls themselves were built with interlocking stone blocks, a technique perfected by the Gurus.
Outside the main gates of the capital city, they set up camp. Only Taejo, escorted by Captain Pak, Kira, and Kwan, would enter the city walls. As they approached the gates, Kira peered up at the bulwark. She made out the dark shapes of a dozen sentries.
Captain Pak addressed the palace guards. "The crown prince and heir to the throne of Hansong seeks an audience with his esteemed uncle, King Eojin. He is escorted by his cousins, the son and daughter of General Kang, niece and nephew to your king."
The armored guard bowed respectfully to Taejo before requesting identification. Taejo pulled out a gold chain that he usually kept tucked underneath his inner tunic. On the end of the chain hung a small gold seal bearing the phoenix crescent mark of the Hansong kings.
Inside the city, a soldier escorted them to the palace, which sat nestled into the mountainside.