"I meant to be, mother."
"What did Mrs. O"Brien say when you gave her the milk?" continued Mrs. Lamb.
"She said she was much obliged to you," replied Kate, not daring to look her mother in the face.
"Did you see the children?"
"Yes, mother."
Mrs. Lamb was going to ask more questions about the family, but something called her attention away, and Kate was saved from telling more falsehoods.
She took a book and tried to read, but she could not, for she did not feel like a good girl. The little voice within told her how wicked she had been, and she began to wish that she had not deceived her mother.
While she sat with the book in her hand, her father came home; and her mother told him what f.a.n.n.y Flynn had done. He was very angry when he had heard the story, and asked Kate a great many questions about the affair.
"You did well, Kate, and I am glad you were so brave and so smart,"
said Mr. Lamb.
"Of course I could not give her any of the milk when it was for the poor widow"s hungry children."
"You did right, Kate," repeated her father. "The poor children might have had to go to bed hungry if you had given up the milk to that bad girl."
"I know it, father."
"Only think what a sad thing it would have been if the poor little ones had been sent hungry and crying to bed. That f.a.n.n.y Flynn must be taken care of. When little girls get to be so bold as that, it is high time something was done."
"I think so, too, father."
"It is time for you to go to bed now, Kate," said her mother.
"I am ready, mother, for I am tired as I can be."
Kate was glad to get away from her father and mother, for while they were praising her for her good conduct, she knew very well that she did not deserve it.
What would her parents think if they knew that she had spilled all the milk on the ground? What would they say to her if they found out that she had told them so many lies?
The more she thought of her conduct, the more she felt that she had done wrong. She now saw that, if she had returned home and told her mother the truth, she would have excused the fault, and sent another pail of milk to the poor sick woman"s hungry children.
She wished she had done so, for it would have been a great deal better to be scolded for her carelessness than to feel as guilty as she now felt. She was sure that it was far better to suffer a great deal than to do even a little wrong.
She was not satisfied either that her mother would have scolded her, if she had stated the whole truth to her--that f.a.n.n.y Flynn had made her spill the milk.
She went to bed; but when her mother bade her good night, and took the lamp in her hand, she begged her to leave it, for she did not like to be alone in the dark.
It seemed just as though a wicked spirit was tormenting her; and though she was in the habit of going to sleep without a light, the darkness was terrible to her at this time. She did not even wish to be left alone, but she dared not ask her mother to stay with her.
When Mrs. Lamb had gone out, Kate covered her face wholly under the bedclothes, and shut her eyes as close as she could, trying in this manner to go to sleep. But her guilty conscience gave her no rest.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
Then she opened her eyes, and looked around the room; but everything in the chamber seemed to mock and reproach her. Again and again she shut her eyes, and tried to sleep.
The little voice within would speak now, in the silence of her chamber. She had never felt so bad before; perhaps because she had never been so wicked before. Do you want to know why she suffered so much? It was because she could not keep from her mind those hungry, crying children.
[Ill.u.s.tration: Kate tells the whole story.]
IV.
Poor Kate! She had certainly never been so wicked in her life before. The words of her father still lingered in her ears, and she could almost hear the moans of those hungry, crying children.
She had never been sent to bed in her life without her supper, and it looked like a dreadful thing to her--perhaps even more dreadful than it really was.
If there had been nothing but the falsehoods she had told, she might have gone to sleep; but it was sad to think that she had deprived the poor children of their supper, and sent them hungry to bed. This seemed to be the most wicked part of her conduct.
I do not know how many times she turned over in the bed, nor how many times she pulled the clothes over her eyes to shut out the sad picture of those hungry and crying children that would come up before her, in spite of all she could do to prevent it.
She tried to think of other things--of the scene with f.a.n.n.y; of her school; of a picnic party she had attended on the first of May; of almost everything, indeed; but it did no good. The poor children could not be banished from her mind.
Kate had been sick with the measles, with the scarlet fever, and the mumps; and she remembered how bad she felt at these times; but it seemed to her now that she would rather have all these diseases at once than suffer from a guilty conscience.
When she was sick, her mother bent over her and pitied her, and did all she could to ease her pain; and even when she was burning with fever, and racked with pain, she felt happier than she did now.
She could not inform her mother how bad she felt, for that would expose her guilt. She heard the clock strike nine, and every moment appeared to her like an hour. Those poor little children constantly haunted her; whether her eyes were open or shut, still she saw them crying, and heard them moaning, and begging their sick mother to give them some supper.
O, Kate! how severely was she punished for the sin she had committed! Her mother and her father had praised her, but still she was unhappy.
Slowly, very slowly, the time pa.s.sed away and she heard the clock strike ten. She could endure her sufferings no longer; and she burst into tears, sobbing and moaning as if her heart would break.
For some time she cried; but as her distress increased, she sobbed and moaned so loud that her father and mother, who were in the adjoining room, heard her, and hastened into the room to find out what ailed her.
"What is the matter, my child?" anxiously asked her mother.
"Haven"t you been asleep since you went to bed?"
"No mother," sobbed Kate.
"What ails you? Are you sick?"
"No, mother."
"What are you crying for, then?"
"O mother!"
"Why, what ails you, child? Have you been frightened?"