"It"s because of those magazines you"re looking at all the time, isn"t it?"
"What"s wrong with wanting to look like a model? They"re gorgeous."
"They"re anorexic. It"s not realistic to try to look like that. Please, Kenzie, I need you to start eating more."
I nodded, not wanting to argue.
"Promise me you"ll stop starving yourself?"
"Okay." I crossed my fingers behind my back.
Chapter Fifteen.
When I saw her standing in the middle of Grandma"s living room I almost had a heart attack. Which I know seems strange based on all the surprises I"d endured over the summer, but never in my life did I think my mom would show up at Grandma"s. Even more bizarre was that she was talking with Grandma like they were old friends.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Kenzie, is that any way to greet your mother?" Grandma scolded me.
Mom gave me a clumsy embrace. "Hey. It"s good to see you."
"It"s definitely a surprise," I said as we disentangled. "How come neither of you told me about this?"
Mom shot Grandma a wary look. In return the older woman gave her a subtle nod. My stomach knotted. Something weird was going on here.
"Kenzie, why don"t we go sit down and have a chat," Mom said in an all too cheery voice while sporting a pasted on smile.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Not until someone tells me what"s going on."
"What? Your mom can"t just pay you a visit?" Mom asked.
"Is that what this is, just a visit?"
Mom shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, bit her lip.
"Come on, let"s just all go sit down and I"ll make us some tea," Grandma said, spreading her arms like she was herding cattle.
I followed reluctantly and planted myself on the couch. Mom sat across from me, crossing her legs and cracking her knuckles. Now I knew it was bad. She only did that when she was extremely nervous. Grandma returned and set steaming cups of tea in front of us. I threw her a quizzical look. Why were we drinking hot tea when it was one hundred degrees outside? This whole thing was becoming more and more bizarre.
"Mackenzie," Grandma started. "I"m going to be completely honest with you. Your mom is here because I asked her to come. I found out what you"ve been up to and I really thought your mom needed to be here to handle things."
My chest tightened and I found it hard to breathe. How much did she know? "What are you talking about?"
"This." Grandma revealed my Ouija board. She held it between her fingers like a dirty rag.
Betrayal slapped me in the face. "You"ve been snooping in my room?"
"I"m sorry but after what happened the other night with Rhiannon and the fact that you"re not eating anymore, I had to find out the truth. So I talked to Rhiannon and found out what"s been going on."
"You talked to Rhiannon?" More betrayal. Anger pulsed through my body.
"I was worried about you and so was she."
"She"s the one who started it!"
"I know and she feels terrible about it."
Yeah, I"ll bet. She"ll feel even worse when I get my hands on her.
"I know you"re upset," Mom interjected. "But we just want to help you. We"re here for you, Kenzie."
"Well, it"s about time."
Mom"s head spun like she"d been smacked. "That"s not fair. I"ve always been there for you."
"Yeah, when it"s convenient."
"That"s not true. It"s difficult being a single parent. I had to be both mom and dad to you. I know I wasn"t perfect but I did the best I could."
"Well, I guess your best wasn"t good enough."
Mom blinked hard, fighting back tears. I felt a little guilty for making her cry.
Grandma broke in. "Being a mom is a hard job. All moms make mistakes. Sometimes we think we"re doing the best thing for our children and it turns out to be the wrong thing." She looked pointedly at mom and I realized they were having some sort of moment.
I bit my lip and played with the hands in my lap. I felt like I was encroaching on their privacy.
"Grandma"s right. Sometimes moms don"t always know what"s best but that doesn"t mean we don"t love our children. I get that now. All I"ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, Kenzie."
"I"d be happy if I had a dad."
Mom sighed. "Well, then you"re angry with the wrong person. I wish your dad had been there for you. I really do, but I had no control over that. It was his decision."
"No, it wasn"t. He said it was your fault."
Mom raised her brows. "You"ve talked to him? When?"
I couldn"t tell her. She"d never understand.
"I haven"t. I was lying. I just thought it would get you to talk."
Mom eyed me skeptically. Grandma sipped her tea. I averted my gaze, staring at my feet.
"I"m sorry for never telling you the truth about your dad," Mom said. "But I"m ready to now."
"Really?" My heart sped up and my palms moistened.
"Yes." Mom swallowed hard. "I should"ve probably told you a long time ago but I thought I was doing the right thing by not. Besides, I knew it would be painful for me to talk about."
Grandma reached over to pat Mom"s knee. Mom shot her a weak smile.
"I met your dad at a party. He was so cute and I liked him instantly. I thought he really liked me too. He asked for my phone number and I gave it to him. After that we started talking on the phone and met up at parties a couple of times. I wasn"t allowed to date so when Mom found out about David she told me I couldn"t see him or talk to him anymore. I was angry so one night I snuck out to spend time with him." Mom"s eyes misted over. "It was a mistake. I really thought he liked me but apparently he was only after one thing. When I wouldn"t give it to him he forced himself on me."
I thought about what Wesley said about guys only thinking about s.e.x. Apparently, he wasn"t that far off. I released the breath I"d been holding. My stomach rolled, bile rose in my throat. Thoughts of Caleb filled my mind - the urgency of his touch and the vileness of his words. I was lucky it didn"t go farther. Mom hadn"t been that lucky. I saw Grandma turn her face away, dabbing her eyes with a wadded up tissue.
"Soon after, I found out I was pregnant. At first I didn"t tell David. I didn"t think he had a right to know. He"d stolen from me. He was a monster. I didn"t think he should have the privilege of knowing you. But after you were born and you started asking questions about your dad I realized it wasn"t fair for me to make that decision for you. So, I found him. I told him he had a daughter." Mom looked down at her lap and sniffed. "He called me a lot of names, told me to never contact him again. I"m sorry, Kenzie."
The room spun. No, it couldn"t be true.
"Mom, is he dead now?"
"No, why do you keep asking that?"
I looked over at the Ouija board. Mom followed my gaze and her eyes widened with understanding. Her hand flew to her mouth.
"Oh no, Kenzie. Were you trying to channel your dad on that board?"
I nodded, guilt filling me.
"Kenzie, I know for a fact that your dad is alive."
"How?"
"I"ve seen him."
My mouth dropped open. Then who was Wesley? How did he know my dad?
"When?" I asked.
"Recently. He got in contact with me. We met for coffee a couple of times."
I thought of what Haley said. It all made sense now. "Why did he get in touch with you? What did he want?"
Please say me. Please say me.
"He wanted money."
I felt like I"d been punched in the gut. "What?"
"I"m sorry, Kenzie. He"s a druggie. I guess he"d run out of other people to ask for money so he sought me out." She laughed bitterly. "He was trying to blackmail me into giving him money. Clearly he didn"t realize how broke I am."
Tears p.r.i.c.ked my eyes. The world crashed in on me.
"I"m so sorry." Mom reached for me but I pushed her away. I couldn"t handle sympathy right now. All I wanted was a razor to cut myself and relieve all this pain. Peeling myself off the couch, I stumbled down the hallway. Tears blurred my vision. When I entered my bedroom, I flung myself down on the bed and sobbed loudly into my pillow.
I sensed him the minute he entered the room. An icy chill brushed against my back and the scent of fire filled the room. Sitting, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and the snot from my nose. He stood near the door wearing my dad"s face and body. Fear licked up my spine, spreading through my limbs like wildfire.
"You lied to me," I said. "You"re not my dad."
"I guess I can ditch the disguise then." Out of his head grew two horns, his nose protruded out into a snout, his mouth filled with razor sharp teeth, his eyes turned black and scales covered his skin. Two arms sprouted out of his chest, ripping through his shirt, which landed on the floor in a pile near his pants. A low growl erupted as he hunched over, whipping around a large scaly tale.
I backed into the wall, tremors ripping through my body. Just as I opened my mouth to scream, he pounced up on my bed. A huge claw clamped over my throat stealing my breath and crushing my esophagus.
"I"ll let go of you if you promise not to scream." His voice was gravelly and deep, so unlike the voice he normally used. "We wouldn"t want Granny and Mother-Dearest to come in here. Then I"d have to hurt them and we wouldn"t want that, would we?"
I shook my head.
He released me and I gasped and sputtered, sucking in air. I ma.s.saged my neck with quivering fingers.
"W-w-who are you?"
"I"m your worst nightmare."
"I-I thought you cared about me. I thought you were my dad."
His face was so close to mine I could smell his animal-like breath. The black beady eyes traveled up my body.
"Your dad is a coward and a lowlife. He thought he could be as powerful as me, but he was wrong. I played him like a fiddle and now I"ve done the same thing to his daughter. How"s that for poetic justice?"
"So you did know my dad?"
"Yeah, and I destroyed him the same way I"m going to destroy you."
I thought of what Mom had said, about all the awful things my dad had done.
"You made him do all those bad things?"
Red flashed in his black eyes, a rumble sounded in his gut. I flinched, closing my eyes.
"I don"t make anyone do anything. People are stupid. They fall for anything I tell them. Don"t blame that on me. That"s not my fault. Let"s take you for example. I"ve been speaking to you for years and you"ve listened every time, but I wasn"t the one who held the blade to your arm or forced you to make out with some loser. You did that all on your own."
My body trembled. I thought of that evil voice in my head I"d listened to over the years.