There"s silence for half a second, and then I hear her feet shuffle slightly. "You"re right. It was a real b.i.t.c.h getting here. I"m sorry. I tried to call, but I didn"t want to miss a deadline." I hear her nervous laughter and have to rein myself in from going to comfort her. "I"m sorry, we can do this another time. I"ll just make my way back to town and try to call you later."
"No!" I don"t turn around, but the word echoes through the forest, silencing her.
I never dreamed she would be here, and now that she is, I can"t stand the thought of her leaving. It"s too dangerous for her to drive anywhere else, not that I would let her anyway.
"The weather is getting worse. You can"t drive in this."
"I"m sorry, Alex. I just didn"t want to lose my job. I"m sorry I disturbed you on Christmas Eve. I saw the town just a few miles back. I can go to the motel there, and maybe we can talk after the holiday."
"Stay!" I turn around quickly, throwing out the word before I have a chance to pull it back. I look away, not making eye contact and trying to keep my head turned so the worst of my scars aren"t facing her. "The motel is full. You can stay with me. I have a room." I have no idea if the motel is full or not. I just don"t want Noelle to leave.
"I can"t put you out like that, Alex. I"m really sorry-"
"Just come inside. It"s freezing." I wait for a second, and I see her turn to her Jeep and grab a bag out of the back. "You can stay the night. In the morning I can take you to the motel in town."
"Thank you," she whispers, and I turn to walk into the house. When I hear sound of her footsteps following behind me, I release a breath I didn"t know I was holding. How bad can this be? I can stay clear of her for one night. I can do this.
Right?
Chapter 5.
Noelle
I quickly grab my bag from the pa.s.senger seat and follow in his wake, my heart pounding.
"You cold?" he asks, stomping his boots and shaking the snow from them on the front door mat. I follow his lead, doing the same, not wanting to track snow into his cabin.
"Ah, yeah." It"s freezing out, but the wind seems to have more of a bite out here than it did in town. The cold cuts right through you out here. I could feel it rattle my car the further I got from the city.
I follow him into the cabin before pulling off my boots and placing them by the door. He does the same, keeping his back to me as he does it. I can"t help but stare at his broad shoulders. I thought he"d be a big guy as he has such a deep voice, but he"s even bigger than I imagined. He"s over six feet, probably coming in a good foot over my five two stature. Most people have a lot of inches on me, but he has more than most.
He turns his head a little, glancing over his shoulder at me. One deep blue eye meets mine. Loose, charcoal hair falls over his face, like he"s in need of a slight trim, and it blocks my view of his face. I"m dying to see it. It looked like he had a scar running down his forehead to his cheekbone when I saw him first. But with the dim light in the cabin and his hair blocking my view, it"s hard to tell.
He reminds me of one of the old romance heroes I read about in my mom"s old trashy novels. Everyone in the books seemed to carry a brooding aura around them. And were always blessed with dark hair and sharp blue eyes. It never failed time and time again that the heroes would be described that way. Whenever I"d pick up another one of her books, I could almost predict when it was going to say it, and now I seem to be standing mere feet from one, ripped straight from the pages.
I push the silly thought from my head because I"m once again living in my own fantasy, making real something that isn"t. I take a step toward him, unable to stop myself from reaching to move the hair out of his face. I don"t know what"s making me so bold, but I regret it instantly when he turns his head, giving me his broad back again, mumbling something I can"t quite catch.
It is almost like he doesn"t want to look at me or something. The thought sends a cold chill down my spine that has nothing to do with the weather. In fact, it"s kind of warm in here with me still all bundled up and a fire blazing at the far wall. I"m guessing this is the living room as a Christmas tree sits in the corner, colored lights dancing across it.
I"ve been dying to know what he looks like. I wanted to match a face to the man who"s been starring in my fantasies for the past few months. When I got out of the car, he took my breath away. I couldn"t even see him fully and I was entranced, just from being near him.
Being so close after wanting him for so long, I found his words were hard and nothing like I"d thought they"d be. At times he could be firm with me, like when I called him by his last name, or when it took me a few rings to pick up the phone when he called, but what happened outside was confusing and unsettling. It was like he wanted me to get the h.e.l.l out of here. Only he didn"t really want me to leave at the same time.
"I...uh..." I say, trying to break the silence between us for the second time today. I"m totally getting fired. h.e.l.l, I kinda knew that when I popped on my audiobook and my voice wasn"t even on it. As much as I want to ask, I don"t feel like poking the bear he seems to have turned into.
I knew he was the silent broody type, but I didn"t think he bit. Now I"m not so sure. He could rip my heart to shreds with a few harsh words. Maybe this is why I spend so much time with my head in the clouds and my nose in books, dreaming in my own little world. This real-life romance s.h.i.t is hard and scary.
"Follow me. I"ll show you where you can put your stuff," he says without looking at me as he heads towards a hallway. It"s as if he wants to shove me into a room as quickly as possible. He won"t even look at me, and a lump starts to form in my throat. Forget it. I can"t do this.
"Maybe I should just..." I turn to grab the door handle, but I remember I don"t have my shoes on so I can"t make as quick of an escape as I"d like. Before I can turn to grab my shoes, big arms shoot out on either side of me, landing on the door. His warm body presses into mine.
"Don"t go." His words are soft this time, and they tickle my ear. He doesn"t move, and I can"t seem to form any words with him pressed up against me like this. "Just let me show you to your room. You can take a warm bath if you like."
"Okay." The fight leaves my body at his deep, sensual voice. My answer comes out breathy, and it takes every muscle in my body to stop myself from leaning into him. I want to rub against him like a cat in heat. I"ve never done anything wanton in my life, but Alex makes me do a lot of things I"ve never done before. Like drive three hours in a snowstorm, pretending it was all about saving my job, when really I"m being a low-key stalker.
Maybe I can just say I"m cold or something if I rub against him. Oh my G.o.d, I"m totally trying to cop a feel! My cheeks burn with embarra.s.sment at my own thoughts, but Alex still makes no move to release me. I can"t move until he drops the big arms that are caging me. G.o.d, how I wish I was facing the other way and staring into his dark blue eyes. I was so sure they would be brown when I pictured him, but my thoughts didn"t do those eyes justice.
"Don"t try to leave again." The firmness in his voice is one I know all too well. I am about to tell him I"ll do whatever I want, but feeling him pressed against me banishes any thoughts I have of leaving this cabin. "It"s dark, the snow is falling thick, and the coyotes will be out."
With that caution, the warmth of his body leaves mine, and I miss it instantly. Sadly, I think I could have stood like that all night and been utterly content. I turn, following him down the long hallway. The cabin is cute. It"s hard to make out much with so few lights on, but all the walls and floors are wooden. It"s rustic and homely and utterly perfect. The place looks like it was plucked right out of some catalogue. It would be the perfect place to spend Christmas.
The thought reminds me that it"s Christmas Eve. I haven"t heard anyone else, but I feel bad, not only for intruding but for possibly putting someone out of a bedroom. "Are we alone?" I"m prying for information, but I"m wondering if a girlfriend or someone like that is going to pop up.
"I"m always alone." That makes me happy until the words really sink it.
He takes me upstairs, and we pa.s.s one door before we stop outside another. He turns the k.n.o.b and pushes the door open. He half-turns to me, but the light is off, and I still can"t really make out his face. I can tell he has a strong jaw and nose, but seeing so little only makes me long to see more.
"Get some rest. I"m sure it was a long drive." With that, he turns and heads down the stairs, his big body disappearing into the shadows of the cabin.
I go into the room he told me to take and flip on the nearby lamp. I ignore everything but the bed as I toss my bag onto it and let myself fall into its softness.
I"m always alone.
The words run through my mind over and over again. I couldn"t catch the tone he was saying them in. Was he alone before I got here, and he liked to be alone? Am I cramping his style? Or was he alone and didn"t like it?
I find being alone is bittersweet. It"s something I"d wanted for so long, to be able to get lost in myself without my mother clucking all around me. But now the silence is somewhat lonely. It"s funny, but that ache didn"t start to build until Alex came into my life. Now I"m starting to think he opened a door I"m never going to be able to close.
Chapter 6.
Alex
I"ve tossed and turned for the past couple of hours, unable to do much else.
She"s here. She"s really here.
I hate that I"m a coward and completely unable to talk to her. I froze up the second I laid eyes on her, feeling things I"d never felt. We talked for so long, I felt like I knew her, but I wasn"t prepared for seeing her. Nothing could have prepared me for the reality of her beauty.
It"s Christmas Eve, and I feel like a kid waiting on Santa Claus to show up. Only Santa Claus is in my guest room upstairs and I"m scared s.h.i.tless to go up there. If only there was a way to know what she"s thinking. Is she disgusted by my scars? Is she disappointed in what she found when she showed up? G.o.d, how I pictured meeting her, seeing a thousand different scenarios in my mind, none of which included her showing up here in the middle of a snowstorm and seeing all my scars.
Sighing, I roll over onto my back and look at the wooden ceiling. I don"t know what to do. I need a sign or something. I look over at the fireplace in my bedroom. I watch the burning embers and wish for a Christmas miracle.
Suddenly, there"s a pop, and the night light in the bathroom goes out. I sit up, and it"s utterly silent. No refrigerator running, no hum of the heat kicking on upstairs. s.h.i.t. This is definitely not the Christmas miracle I was referring to.
I get out of bed, go to the bathroom, and flip the switch. Nothing.
There"s electric heat and air in the cabin, but in the winter, I often lose power. There"s a backup generator, but I never bothered to get kerosene for it. s.h.i.t. It"s always just been me, and I can make do with the fireplace in the living room and bedroom. h.e.l.l, there"s a cook stove in the kitchen for me to make hot meals on, and outside is basically a twenty-four-seven refrigerator this time of year. I"ve never thought twice about the power going out. Until now.
Looking up at the wooden ceiling in my room again, all I can think about is Noelle getting colder by the minute. I start to walk out of my bedroom and realize I need to put some clothes on. Normally, I sleep naked, but I don"t think she"d appreciate my showing up in her bedroom naked and asking her to come with me.
My c.o.c.k twitches at the thought, and I reach down, pinching the tip a little to try to get it to go down. I can"t have a f.u.c.king hard-on right now.
Taking a few breaths, I look down and see my c.o.c.k getting bigger instead of softening. "f.u.c.k." Now is not the time. I pull on some tight boxers and some sweats and a long T-shirt. Hopefully, all the layers will cover it up.
I make my way up the stairs and knock lightly guest room door. When there"s no answer, I knock a little louder. I pause, waiting, but when there"s no sound, I start to panic and wonder if something could have happened to her. Maybe she tried to leave, after all.
Opening the door, I look in and see her sleeping on the bed, still all bundled in her coat. I walk over silently and stand by the bed, looking down at her. The soft moonlight streaming in through the window makes her look like an angel. I never thought in all the times I looked at her picture that she could be more beautiful, but here she is, proving me wrong.
Her soft full lips part slightly, and all I can think about is kissing them.
"Alex," she whispers, and I start. I think for a second she"s awake and knows I"m here, but she doesn"t move and doesn"t open her eyes.
She"s dreaming of me.
The thought has my heart beating out of my chest, and the biggest, goofiest smile crosses my face. She"s dreaming of me. Me!
I reach down and scoop her up in my arms, carrying her out of the room. She wakes a little at the movement, wrapping her arms around me, her body clinging to mine.
"Alex?" This time when she says my name, I can hear she"s still a little sleepy but coming round.
"The power"s gone out, and there"s no heat up here. You can sleep downstairs with me." My c.o.c.k tries to break free of my underwear at the feeling of her in my arms and the image of her in my bed. Even though there are about three feet of layers between me and her body, having her against me is heaven.
The temperature is in single digits outside right now, and the chill is settling in fast upstairs. The house is built well and insulated for the cold, but even a place like this is affected during this kind of winter.
"Okay." She leans into me a little more, and I feel her cheek press against my neck. I nearly lose my footing on the last step. My body goes rigid with equal parts fear and l.u.s.t.
I walk back to my bedroom and place her on my bed, and she looks up at me sleepily. "Where am I?" She blinks awake, and I turn away from her to grab some more wood and throw it on the hot coals. The fire comes to life, crackling as the flames lick the logs, and I stand still, facing away from Noelle.
"You"re in my bed. It will be warm in here for you tonight. I"ll sleep on the floor." I grab a blanket and pillow from the closet and throw them on the ground between the bed and the fireplace. "The fire in the living room is out, and it"s late." I don"t mention that I could get it going again in about sixty seconds, opting instead to keep that fact to myself.
"The bed is huge. You can sleep up here with me. I"m sure we can manage to stay on our own sides."
My c.o.c.k aches at the thought of not only having her in my bed but my being in it with her. Her voice once again penetrates my body and makes a chill run down my spine. What I wouldn"t give to have her read to me.
I turn to face her, the only light in the room from the fire behind me.
"You should undress." I see her eyes grow wide with shock, and I realize how my words sound. "I mean that you actually stay warmer in cold weather if you"re naked. I mean, you should remove your coat and as many clothes as you"re comfortable removing. It will help keep you warm tonight in case it gets colder."
I see her nod, and she sits up, removing her heavy coat. I can"t help the laugh that escapes me at her Christmas sweater. She looks down at her chest, and I think I can almost see her blush in the weak light.
She reaches under her sweater and I hear a click, and suddenly her sweater lights up. I actually laugh out loud, and I hear her laughter too as the room is illuminated by the blinking lights. "I should have thought of this when you said the power went out." We both laugh a little more as she reaches under again, clicking the switch and turning it off. "Better save that for an emergency."
I love the sound of her giggle, and my own cheeks hurt from smiling. I can"t remember the last time I felt so light and...happy.
Trying not to stare as she removes her sweater, I go around to the other side of the bed, sitting down and facing away from her. I remove my own shirt and slip off my sweatpants, leaving on just my underwear. I"ll be fine as long as I stay on my side of the bed. It"s a king-size, and I"d have to roll over a couple of times before we touched, so it should be totally okay.
When I"m as undressed as I think I can be, I lie on my back and look up at the ceiling. I feel my heart beating a thousand times a second as I try to breathe regularly. Why does it feel as if I just ran a marathon?
I feel the mattress move, and the top comforter rustles. Oh, G.o.d, she"s in bed with me. Noelle is in bed with me.
"Thank you, Alex. For everything." I close my eyes as I listen to her words, her voice hypnotizing me. Suddenly, I feel her cool fingers touch my hand and run up my forearm. "I know this isn"t what you had planned tonight, but thank you for taking care of me."
"Always," I whisper as I feel her fingers leave my arm, and a silence falls between us.
Chapter 7.
Noelle
I wake plastered to a warm, giant body. It takes me a moment to remember where I am. It all comes flooding back to me, but I stay perfectly still, not wanting to wake Alex. It"s still dark out, and I know if he finds out I"m awake I"ll have to move, and I"ll be so embarra.s.sed. I can"t believe how easily I wrapped myself around him.
I guess I"m a cuddler. I"ve never had the opportunity to find out before if I am or not, but it"s pretty freaking clear now with how I"m all over the poor man. Not only did I crash his Christmas, but now I"m taking up his bed and every inch of his personal s.p.a.ce.
It"s then I realize how truly all over him I am. I have one leg thrown over him, and it"s clearly resting on something very large...and very hard. Does that mean he"s awake? Do men get b.o.n.e.rs in their sleep? I try to recall the millions of romances novels I"ve read and narrated, like they"re all factual. I come up blank on the whole b.o.n.e.rs-when-asleep thing, not having read about it before.