Chapter 112 - Extra CP (Zuo Zhen x Lu Xiuhe)-I don’t deserve to be a fan
Edited by Noks
Lu Xiuhe went home, took a bath, ignored Father Lu who was calling out to him, and turned to enter his room.
As soon as he lay down in his bed, his whole person sunk and became mired in the bedding.
“Already said that if you buy such a soft mattress, sooner or later your waist will get damaged ah…” He talked to himself for a long time before gradually losing his voice.
He picked up his cellphone and saw that the number of unread messages from the fan support group had already reached 99 +. He’d probably have to scroll through it all for a really long time to get through all of them.
He had already screened the group notifications, so the reason he was still getting notifications was because someone in the groupchat was @ing him.
[@Lulu, why aren’t you talking la?]
[Why has Zhenzhen still not posted anything on Weibo ah? How about we let @Lulu ask around? Isn’t he in Manyang?]
[The officials haven’t released any information, so how can you just ask around ah?]
Lu Xiuhe opened the keyboard, typed in two words, and then just stopped.
He had already been kicked out of the fandom, so what was he doing bouncing around in here?
Moreover, it was the main subject of the fandom who had kicked him out. That was probably the first time in thousands of years that something like this had happened in the entertainment industry. If such news got out, it would probably lead to extravagant scenes.
He thought so, but there was no joy on his face. Zuo Zhen’s words continuously kept floating in the sea of his thoughts, and he couldn’t shake them off.
Just as he closed the groupchat, a new message immediately popped up.
[Big Fan: Lulu, you there?]
He could pretend to not have seen the messages sent by other people, but Big Fan usually had important matters to talk about in the middle of the night. He hesitated and then replied—
[Here ah, what’s the matter?]
[Big Fan: The group chat @you so many times, why didn’t you appear?]
[Just took a bath, didn’t see it.]
[Big Fan: Oh, I just wanted to tell you that the models have arrived. You give me your home address, and when I get the models, I’ll mail one to you.]
Lu Xiuhe had even decided where he would put the model. His room was a typical college-boy room, it was horribly messy. Looking around, he could only put it next to the computer.
He subconsciously glanced over at the computer, and it took awhile before he could type out a reply.
[That ah…. I don’t want it anymore. You look around and see who wants it, and then give it to them ba.]
[Big Fan: ??]
Big Fan: Are you drinking? Are you drunk?]
[…… No, I’m at home.]
Lu Xiuhe typed slowly, rather listless.
[Um, I’m leaving the fandom, so I won’t be following you guys to chase after Zhenzhen anymore.]
[Big Fan: …. ]
[Big Fan: What’s your situation ah? You’ve only been a fan for not too long, and you’re leaving the fandom already? Can I ask why?]
The speed with which the other side was replying was getting faster.
Although Zuo Zhen had a large number of fans, to the point where all the messages in the fan support group couldn’t be read, there were really very few male fans. The number of interesting and capable male fans like Lu Xiuhe could literally just be counted on their fingers.
Because he was chatting with a stranger, he opened up a lot, blindly saying whatever came to his mind.
[Nothing really. I did something that I need to apologize to Zhenzhen for. I’m guilty, and I don’t deserve to be a fan of Zhenzhen’s.]
[Big Fan: ….So what, you went over to another fandom? Going over to another fandom is actually nothing, it’s normal. Even if you were stanning two people, you still don’t have to leave the fandom ya.]
[Zhenzhen is so good that there’s no one else that I’d go over to another fandom for.]
[Big Fan: ? Then why do you suddenly want to leave the fandom? Zhenzhen is going to go solo soon. Have you seen his performance in “The Rivers and the Mountains”? Although it’s just a supporting role, his acting is really explosive. It can’t be compared with ordinary performances. Being his fan can’t be a wrong step ah…]
[Of course I have seen it. The way he delivered that quote was very powerful!]
[Big Fan: That’s right, that’s right. So how about you consider it again and not leave the fandom?]
Lu Xiuhe said internally—it’s not that I want to leave the fandom ah.
I want to be a fan of his ah.
But even if I regard him as an idol, he wants to f.u.c.king sleep with me ah!
Chasing after stars was too hard.
[Really leaving. In a month, I’m going to have to take an exam for my certificate, and there’s a pile of other matters I have to attend to that’s waiting for me. My hands are full. I still like him, it’s just that I’m leaving the fan support group. Sorry ah.]
The Big Fan tried to persuade him for a long time, but seeing that she really couldn’t persuade him to change his decision, she could only stop and finally, told him to study well and wished him good luck for his exams.
Lu Xiuhe connected his cellphone to the charger, pulled the quilt directly over the top of his head, closed his eyes, and dozed for awhile.
Then, after a moment, he suddenly lifted up his blankets, got up, and grabbed his phone.
[…… That model, you still mail it to me ba. I’ve thought about it, and I’m still not willing to let it go.]
——
Pz would return to Jincheng the very next day after the face-to-face meeting ended.
“Ge, you’re really not coming back with us?” Xu Min sat cross-legged beside Zuo Zhen and asked while playing with his cellphone.
He was the youngest in the group, and his family background wasn’t ordinary, so being an idol for him was just a hobby. In this group, which was rife with open strife and veiled struggles, he was the most peaceful one, so he was also the one in the group who had the best relationship with Zuo Zhen.
“Not going back.” Zuo Zhen took his medicine and said, “I took an annual leave for three days.”
Xu Min put down his cellphone. “Then in the event happening in two days, won’t it be Lin Jia who will be in the C position? That’s a big event ah, Ge.”
Zuo Zhen shrugged and didn’t reply.
He had never cared about those matters. No matter where he stood, he would always dance. They were a small group, and even if he stood at the end of the line, he could still be seen by the audience.
“Ge, even if you want to rest for a few days, you don’t have to stay in Manyang ba.” Xu Min blinked and asked, “How about you come back with us, and then you can go to the resort my family just opened and rest there a few days?”
“You don’t have to sound me out,” Zuo Zhen said, “You know why I’m staying.”
Xu Min leaned back into the sofa and clicked his tongue. “Didn’t you say that person doesn’t like men?”
“En.”
“Then why do you still like him?” Xu Min said, “Ge, I really have to give you some advice. It wasn’t easy for you to get to this step, so you shouldn’t risk everything in the pursuit of this small matter. Don’t think that what I’m saying is unpleasant to hear ah… He doesn’t like you, and naturally won’t protect you. This matter of you liking men, as long as even a hint of it gets out, something will definitely happen. Have you considered that?”
How could Zuo Zhen not have considered it.
No one couldn’t have considered it more clearly than him.
Xu Min continued, “Lin Jia is now looking everywhere for any mistakes you make. For such a person….there’s no need, Ge. There’s no need.”
Zuo Zhen stopped what he was doing with his hands and suddenly interrupted him, “Xu Min.”
Xu Min froze. “Ah?”
“Why do you want to be an idol when your family is so rich?”
“I was just….interested ah.”
“En.” Zuo Zhen said, “It’s a hobby for you, but it’s a job for me.”
“The company knows your background, so they never force you to do anything. But it’s different for me.”
“For this job, I have worked as an intern for two years and then have gone on tour for three years. In these five years, all my words, deeds, food, clothing, and even my hair style, all of it was decided by the company. They told me that dyeing my hair pink would make me look distinct and showy, so I am never separated from this color in my daily life.”
Xu Min was shocked when he heard these words. He had always thought that Zuo Zhen liked pink, which was the reason why his hair color was eternally immutable.
“I gave everything to my work.” Zuo Zhen’s tone was very calm as he spoke, “Only these broken feelings that are left are something that I want to make my own decision on.”
“……” Although they had a good relationship, Xu Min had never heard Zuo Zhen talk about these matters before. It wasn’t until the characters in his cellphone game were killed by the enemy due to him afking that Xu Min returned to his senses. “Ge, I’m suddenly very curious…. What exactly do you like about that person ah, aren’t you just online friends?”
Only after asked that did he realize that it wasn’t quite right to pose such a question. He hurriedly said, “I was just randomly asking ha…”
“A lot of things.” Zuo Zhen looked away.
“He’s cute, funny, and righteous. I like it all.”
——
“Wow, this news is too f.u.c.king interesting ba? All of you open up your Weibos and look at this blogger called “Entertainment Express.”
It was the middle of the night, and a loud male voice broke the silence of the dormitory.
“What Weibo? Lao San, it’s the middle of the night, keep your voice down. It can’t be some p.o.r.n site?”
“Is your mind just full of dirty waste? It’s explosive news about Zuo Zhen!”
“Zuo Zhen who ah?”
“That pinkhead in Pz!”
Lu Xiuhe, who was gripping his cellphone, vaguely heard Zuo Zhen’s name, and immediately took off his earphones. He sat up completely upright and asked, “What is it?”
“Why are you moving around so much…” Lao San was stunned.
“What did that influencer account say about Zuo Zhen?”
Lao San hehed. “They’re saying he was Peerless’ boss’ sugar baby for two years!”
Lu Xiuhe grew furious. “Like f.u.c.king h.e.l.l he was!”
He was so angry that he scared the people in the dorm room.
“What the f.u.c.k, He Zi, what are you getting so excited about?”
“This f.u.c.king dog of an influencer account, just getting served with papers from a lawyer isn’t enough, I’m afraid one day they’ll be on the road and will get beaten up by someone in a hoodie.” Lu Xiuhe opened the Weibo account while cursing, and became even angrier after reading the content in the post. “Not seeing stars as people every single day, and also writing about this or that, sooner or later, you’ll f.u.c.king face retribution on your head!”
Lao San said, “I think ba, if they dare to say it with such detailed descriptions, it shouldn’t be a groundless claim. It’s sure that such a matter would have left some signs, and you guys look below, there are even pictures.”
“It’s also called picture evidence when two people are walking side by side?” Lu Xiuhe said, “I’m walking with you, it can’t be that you’re also my sugar baby?”
Lao San was shocked. “f.u.c.k, how the f.u.c.k is that the same, we’re not gay! Look at this Zuo Zhen, one look and you can tell he’s gay. The entertainment circle is messy, and being a sugar baby isn’t unusual… And you can see that the references being made by this influencer account really are better than other people’s ah.”
Lu Xiuhe’s voice was cold as he argued, “No matter whether he is gay or not, you can’t just blindly say he was a sugar baby.”
“What are you being so indignant for ah, I’m just telling the truth.” Looking at the negative comments at the bottom of the post, Lao San thought that every one of them made sense. “I heard that he was always getting hurt all year round, and it’s because Peerless’ boss was being too happy while playing around. These past few days when he took a rest break were also… because something went wrong when he was being tossed around. So I look down upon this kind of person the most. A big man with perfectly working hands and feet can do anything, but he just had to go run to sell…”
Lao San had just finished his sentence when suddenly, he felt the bed shake.
Before he knew it, he saw the person in the upper bunk jump down in a fiery and stormy way.
He was stunned. “He Zi, what are you doing? Going to the bath…”
Before he could finish speaking, he felt his collar being pulled up.
Bang!
The fist that slammed into Lao San’s face directly woke him up.
No one in the whole dorm had managed to react to this yet. Lu Xiuhe was so angry that he jumped up again, and he was even gnashing his teeth as he spoke, “Do you f.u.c.king know him? If you don’t know him, why do you slander him behind his back?”
“f.u.c.k you!” Lao San immediately fought back, and he swung his fists out as well. “It couldn’t be that you do know him ah? You know he didn’t do this kind of thing? You’re sick ah, hitting people for a star?”
Lu Xiuhe shouted, “I do f.u.c.king know him! I just know he wouldn’t do this kind of thing!”
When the others saw this, all of their sleepiness disappeared, and they all got up to stop him.
By the time this farce was over, it was already two o’clock in the morning.
Because it was Lu Xiuhe who had made the first move and later, when asked by the dorm manager, he had admitted to it, so at two o’clock in the morning, it was Father Lu who came to pick him up from the school.
“Everything was fine, how could you just start fighting with someone…” Father Lu took a look in the rearview mirror, just wanting to lecture his son. However, he saw his face, which had been beaten purple and red, and his depressed expression, and he couldn’t make himself say any of the words he had wanted to scold him with.
Lu Xiuhe stared at his cellphone, strongly nursing his grievances.
This influencer account had made this post in the middle of the night, so the PR team for Peerless hadn’t come out yet. The post still hadn’t been deleted yet and had already been forwarded over 4000 times now. There were even a bunch of side accounts that had nothing better to do than to crazily @Zuo Zhen. They had even published the link to the post right under Zuo Zhen’s latest post, in fear that the hate wouldn’t reach him.
The fan support group was also in a furor right now.
[This influencer account is too unbridled ba? After getting served so many papers by lawyers, they still dare to do this??]
[It’s okay. It’s the middle of the night, so not many people should have seen it.]
[It’s over…. I just used the query app to have a look, and Zhenzhen is looking at Weibo right now.]
It was so late. If it had been the company’s staff logging on, then that Weibo post would have already been torn down by the PR team.
…… It was probably Zuo Zhen who had logged in.
Zuo Zhen hadn’t been feeling well these days, and if he saw this kind of thing, he definitely wouldn’t feel any better.
Lu Xiuhe held his cellphone, fighting against himself in his heart.
If there was no one taking care of Zuo Zhen, then was he still running a fever, and if the fever continued on for too long, wouldn’t something go wrong with his head ba?
What if… what if he sent over a message to ask?
Even if Zuo Zhen only replied to him with a period, he would still feel at ease looking at that period.
The injury at the corner of his mouth throbbed faintly. Lu Xiuhe hissed, and then bashfully opened up WeChat.
“The stuff on Weibo is just antis stirring up s.h.i.t. Your fans will believe you. Don’t worry.”
Lu Xiuhe finished typing this line, stared at it for a long time, then deleted it.
“Are you on Weibo?”
Delete.
“Are you better?”
Delete.
“Zuo Zhen, you’re fine ba?”
That’s it!
Lu Xiuhe gritted his teeth and clicked send. The moment the message was sent out, his heart beat very fast.
But immediately after, the little excitement he was expecting from getting a reply was snuffed out, without even a spark of it remaining.
[Z has turned on friend verification. You are not his (her) friend yet.]
Lu Xiuhe froze and stared at his cellphone for a long time, completely unable to react to it.
He… had been blacklisted?
He took a deep breath and quickly opened QQ to try and find Zuo Zhen in his friend’s list.
He wasn’t there.
He wasn’t in his recent contacts, his friend list, and wasn’t popping up even when he searched for his account.
Even his QQ had been deleted?
It seemed as if Lu Xiuhe had been heavily punched by someone and then pushed to the bottom of a cliff. He held his cellphone tightly and wasn’t able to return to his senses for a long time.
Then what about their chat records from the past few months?
…… Were they also gone? All gone?
Just now, when he had been fighting with Lao San, he had gotten punched several times. Now, that pain finally welled up, irritating his head and making it ache.
It was at this moment that he really understood that Zuo Zhen was determined to completely disappear from his life.
No wonder Zuo Zhen had made this decision, it had been him who had abandoned the other person first.
Very good.
Lu Xiuhe locked the screen of his cellphone, tightly clenched it in his hand, looked out of the window at one of the fleeting street lights, and suddenly felt unwell from head to toe.
He felt that his being had incarnated into a yellow lotus, and his bitterness could spread up to three miles away.
It shouldn’t be this way ah.
It was he who didn’t want to have anything else to do with Zuo Zhen. Regarding Zuo Zhen’s decision to give up, he should be happy about it, and if not that, he should at least feel relieved.
…… However he was, he shouldn’t be like this at least.
While driving, Father Lu kept wanting to speak, but then kept hesisting as well, and this continued for a long time. Finally, they stopped at a red light, so he turned around and asked, “Does your face hurt…. He Zi? What’s going on with you? Don’t feel good?”
He just saw Lu Xiuhe slump forward and bury his face in his palms.
He shook his head. “It’s fine, I’m just… it hurts a little.”
Father Lu asked anxiously, “Aiya, who told you to go provoke others, serves you right to be beaten like this.”
“He cursed out my partner.” Lu Xiuhe said, “I couldn’t stand it.”
“That’s really intolerable…” In the middle of the conversation, Father Lu stopped and asked, “Wait a minute, your partner? When did you get a partner? How old are they? Are they your cla.s.smate? What are they like? Why didn’t you bring them back for us to take a look at?”
“I can’t bring them back.” Lu Xiuhe didn’t cry. Even if he was suffering, it was unmanly to cry after all. He sat up straight. “We split up.”
Father Lu was stunned. “Why?”
Not being able to be honest, Lu Xiuhe just said, “That person was too good, I don’t deserve them.”
Father Lu’s expression was complicated, and he thought that his son must have been beaten until he had gone silly. After a long silence, he nodded. “Yes. You can’t even win a fight, so I can see why you don’t deserve them.”
—
Juurensha: ….I guess LXH takes after his dad. Noooo LXH don’t lose heart, I feel like ZZ hasn’t quite given up on you yet based on what he told his group member!
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