Chapter 23 - Can you sing a song for us to listen to?
Edited by Divetus
After a long time, he said, “… It wasn’t that exaggerated.”
“Wow, I shouldn’t have called you little Gege.” One of the girls said, “You sound younger than me ah, are you an adult?”
“An adult.” Yu Yan asked, “Play?”
Tuantuan hurriedly said, “Play, I’ll queue right now.”
Just after entering the game, the takeout had arrived. Yu Yan came back with the takeout and saw his game character standing in Manners Plaza, surrounded by three young ladies..
No. 1 asked, “Little Didi, why aren’t you talking, where are we jumping to?”
No. 2 said, “Parachuting in the PC version of PUBG is too unreasonable compared to the mobile game versionah. I always skydive slower than others and die in the sky every day. It’s so d.a.m.n annoying.”
No. 1 said, “Little Didi, your clothes are really too ugly ba. Call me Jiejie once, and I’ll buy you a beautiful outfit.”
Tuantuan spoke up, “Alright you guys, calm down a bit. He’s so scared of you guys that he won’t talk.”
“…”
Although he was previously an accompanying player, he had still never seen this kind of squad formation before. “I’m sorry, I was just getting my breakfast. You guys can jump anywhere you want, just mark it ba.”
Tuantuan asked, “Can you choose a place with fewer people? We’re not very good at playing.”
“Okay.”
In the end, they chose Zharki. Yu Yan calculated the optimal time to open his parachute while eating the youtiao as he slowly drifted down.
After a while, he discovered that something wasn’t quite right——there were no parachute indicators beside his teammate’s names in the lower left corner.
He asked, “You guys didn’t start parachuting?”
No. 1 asked, “What’s parachuting?”
No. 2 added, “I don’t know.”
Tuantuan responded, “I’ll Baidu it.”
No. 1 said, “Don’t waste your energy, we can’t learn it even if we Baidu it.”
“…”
The barrage had already gone mad with laughter for a while.
[Why are these little Jiejie so funny hahahaha]
[Obviously, these three are all entertainment anchors, and two of them are emotional radio stations. Give them a stage and they can set up a comedy sketch for you.]
[I recall that Boss 1 also didn’t know how to parachute either!]
As soon as Yi Chen entered the livestream, he saw his ID appear in the barrage.
Today was a rare day where he didn’t have any meetings. After he finished reading through company information, he opened the livestream webpage. This was the first time he used the company office’s computer to open something that was non-work related.
He was the livestream’s archangel, so a prompt popped up when he entered the stream. However, because the barrage was getting excessively spammed, the prompt was very quickly pushed to the top, and almost no one saw it.
“No problem.” Yu Yan’s words carried the trace of a helpless smiling expression, and he marked a point on the map. “Jump here, it’s a garage with a fixed car sp.a.w.n, we can drive the car over ba.”
So it was decided. She had almost arrived to the pinned location but No. 1 suddenly shouted, “Aiya, I’m floating past it—f.u.c.k, there are three people in front of me, it seems like a squad! What do I do? What do I do?!!!”
“Seriously? Don’t be afraid, your sisters are coming!” No. 2 immediately guided her parachute over toward No. 1. “Get over here quickly, little Didi! f.u.c.k them up!”
Yu Yan was currently in the middle of biting into a youtiao, and had no time to control his mouse or keyboard at the moment. He could only vaguely answer, “Coming…”
Tuantuan asked, “Why are you talking so quietly?”
“I’m eating a youtiao…”
“What?” As soon as No. 1 landed, she ran back. The three people behind her didn’t hesitate and immediately chased after her. “Your Jiejie is currently being hunted like this, and you’re still eating a youtiao?!”
“Get over here quickly! If I can walk out of Zharki alive, I’ll immediately devote my life to you! Let’s have a vigorous Jiejie and Didi love affair!”
“…”
On the screen, Yu Yan’s originally running game character suddenly slowed down.
[???]
[d.a.m.nit, I’m going to die from laughing hahahahaha!!]
[The anchor was rushing over there at first, but he hesitated after hearing that lololol.]
No. 1 was eager to escape and thus was staring at Yu Yan’s position on the map the entire time. “What’s the matter with you, little Didi?”
Yu Yan just regained his composure and continued sprinting. “… Coming.”
Yi Chen couldn’t help it, and a bit of laughter leaked out from the corner of his mouth.
He felt that the little anchor was like Tang Sanzang mistakenly entering the Cave of the Silken Web. He could even feel his bewilderment across the screen.
No. 1 continued running and finally saw her teammates.
Yu Yan rushed straight past No. 1 and punched the enemy behind her in the face!
The enemy immediately wanted to fight back, but then turned around and dodged. More people were arriving one after another. No. 1 saw her teammates were all together and wasn’t scared anymore—They normally couldn’t aim and shoot, but who didn’t know how to punch?!
“This is what happens when you chase me, go ahead and chase me!” No. 1 muttered as she brandished her fist.
“Who told you to hit my sister… Aiya!” Tuantuan had just brandished her two fists but was hammered to death by two enemies.
Yu Yan retreated to the empty path. “It’s okay, just crawl far away. They’ll want to help their teammates instead of chasing after you…”
Before he had finished speaking, a sickeningly sweet voice rang out.
“Little Gege, little Gege…” Tuantuan turned on the ‘all’ voice channel, and said both softly and aggrievedly, “Don’t kill me, okay? I still want to play…”
“f.u.c.k, you even dare to use this trick.” No. 1 exclaimed, “I’m worried that the enemy is a girl and will just pummel you even harder.”
“Even if it’s a girl, I can still buy time.” Tuantuan finished talking and then reopened the ‘all’ voice channel. “Wuwuwu, you guys ganging up on me, two against one, isn’t that too much ah?”
[Learned this method, but I’m short on a loli voice.]
[Are these female anchors usually so funny??]
The number of viewers in the stream kept increasing. The three female anchors’ fans had all heard the news and had run over. The screen was nearly completely occupied by the barrage, which was basically just “hahaha” and “????”.
Unfortunately the other side was indifferent and continued to pursue them without saying a word. The girls weren’t very good at evading by crouching or jumping, so they were immediately knocked down by the enemy, leaving Yu Yan and Tuantuan standing on their last legs.
Fortunately, Yu Yan also took advantage of the situation to knock down two of the enemies, and just as he was about to attack the last survivor, there was a gunshot from behind him. Tuantuan let out a sound, fell down, and was immediately killed by the other party.
The enemy’s teammates came carrying guns!!
Yu Yan was stunned, and he was on the verge of turning around and running away with zero hesitation.
No. 1 couldn’t help it anymore, and she turned on her mic and said, “If we’re fighting with fists, then fight with fists. What kind of hero rushes in carrying a gun?!”
Unexpectedly, this time there was a reply from the other side.
The rough voice of a man came out, “f.u.c.k me? We previously had our ‘all’ voice channel blocked, but your team actually has girls?!!!”
This impa.s.sioned and disbelieving tone let everyone immediately know that there were no girls in the enemy team.
Then, the person who was carrying the gun also said, “I’m swooning… Sorry ah, I didn’t know before.” His muzzle was still facing Yu Yan.
Tuantuan complained, “Wow, you guys are too merciless. I was begging for such a long time!”
The person said regretfully, “Alas, we aren’t predestined.”
The sound of the gun rang out again, Yu Yan got shot, and his avatar only had the last sliver of health remaining.
He didn’t hesitate as he blurted out with his voice pitched delicately and softly. “Wait, wait a minute—little Gege…”
[?]
[???]
The barrage directly exploded, the whole screen spammed with question marks.
Yu Yan, acting as if he hadn’t seen it, continued to pitch his voice high and said, “They might not be predestined for you guys, but I, I’m predestined for you guys ya! Don’t shoot me anymore…”
[??? It’s truly Seeking Survival in A Hopeless Land .]
[… Awesome lolololololol]
[The anchor is a werewolf!]
[I’m even harder now.]
Yi Chen: “…”
His laugh couldn’t be restrained any more, and he also sent a question mark along with the other stream followers into the barrage.
“f.u.c.k.”
This soft, weak, but not too coy voice directly hit the gun-toting Ge’s heart!
“Little Jiejie, don’t run. I won’t shoot you, I won’t shoot you…”
[This livestream is too s.e.xy, reported.]
“Then, don’t chase me ya.” Yu Yan said, “I barely have any health left!”
“No, little Jiejie, I’ll give you a first aid kit. Don’t run!”
“Really? You’re not giving it to your teammates?”
“I won’t! It’s for you!” said the rugged male voice immediately.
All three female anchors were shocked.
No. 1 praised, “…Hey, you’re really good at using that voice changer ah.”
“It’s not a voice changer, it’s my actual voice.” Yu Yan used the first aid kit and then continued to talk in the all voice channel, asking, “Little Gege, do you have any energy drinks?”
Those two people had also somehow gotten a car and brought it over. “Don’t have any right now, but you can get in our car and we’ll take you to find some!”
Yu Yan’s face was expressionless. “Okayyyyy.”
The three of them got into the car.
“Meizi, your clothes are a little peculiar ah.”
Yu Yan replied, “I’m tired of wearing mini skirts… Doesn’t this look good?”
Those two men paused.
“Looks good!”
“Looks very good!”
No. 2 said with emotion, “… Big Meizi, you’re better at lying through your teeth than me ah.”
Yu Yan sighed, “A necessity for survival.”
“Where shall we go, Meizi?”
“Anywhere is fine, as long as there’s a house.”
The man marked a point in the remote and wild area. “Then let’s go here ba. The surrounding cities must’ve already been searched. We only have one gun, and if we go there, we’ll definitely be finished! Most importantly, if you fall down, the two of us won’t be able to pull you up again.”
Yu Yan responded, “Okay ya.”
[Anchor, I’m begging you to please stop talking. I’m in cla.s.s right now, and I’m about to die from restraining my laughter.]
[All his “ya’s” and “Okayyyyy’s” are all very accurate. Laona admires you.]
[I’m afraid to even dare to do any online dating in the future. When the time comes, she’ll take it out and be bigger than me——]
Yu Yan said, “Just learned from them.”
Tuantuan replied, “My stream number is 18881, come by and pay your tuition later.”
“… All right.”
The man’s marked spot in the wild area was a bit far away, but it was safe. The three people raced across the gra.s.sland and didn’t see a single person.
On the way, the man with the gun suddenly said, “Meizi!”
Yu Yan swallowed the rest of the youtiao. “En?”
After a while, the man vaguely asked, “Can you sing a song for us to listen to?”
Yu Yan: “…”
—
Juurensha: Hahaha, Yanyan is just too good at doing a girl’s voice!
Divi: Everytime Yanyan brings out the girl voice, I’m going to die from laughter. Especially since we know what he looks like!
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