Chapter 3 - Chen Ran is suChapter a slag man
Edited by Noks and Divetus
After refusing the friend request, Yu Yan looked at the viewer count again, and immediately got a scare.
In the span of just one game and an unknown amount of time being listed on the “latest broadcasts”, the viewer count had actually increased to 628.
Although most anchors on livestreaming platforms hired water fans to boost their popularity to some extent, his base viewer count was already very small, so water fans wouldn’t make much of a difference.
StarTV was worthy of its name of having the highest viewer traffic for livestreaming. Yu Yan was very satisfied.
Just as he was about to strike while the iron was hot and start the next match, a soft “ding dong” sounded in his earphones. The notification was sent by the administrator in charge of the PUBG livestreaming section at StarTV.
He adjusted the livestream window, and opened the chat box in a separate window so that the viewers wouldn’t see it.
Administrator 03: h.e.l.lo, I’m Administrator 03. I’m the current administrator of your livestream.
Yan Xiaoyan: h.e.l.lo, what can I do for you?
Worried about losing his viewers, he quickly messaged back and immediately rejoined the match queue.
Administrator 03 sent several doc.u.ments at once.
[100 Key Points for Livestream Anchors]
[100 Forbidden Sentences for Livestream Anchors]
[100 Prohibited Acts for Livestream Anchors]
“…”
Suspicions of whether he had joined some kind of secret society arose in his mind.
By the time he entered Manners Plaza, he had received all the doc.u.ments and planned to slowly read through them after finishing his livestream.
Administrator 03: You’re not turning on your webcam? Having a webcam will make the stream quality a bit better..
Yan Xiaoyan: I’m too ugly, better to not turn it on ba.
After that, his newly matched teammate in the game spoke up.
No. 2 asked, “Do we have any little Jiejie’s ah? If not, I’m leaving.”
Yu Yan closed the chat with the Administrator and pitched his voice high. “Have them, have them~ Little Gege, don’t leave.”
[？？？]
[？？What’s that, the anchor has such a skill??]
【66666】
[Was a voice changer turned on ah?]
His voice was originally a little soft, so by deliberately pitching it higher, he could make it sound a little bit like a girl’s voice, which could, by a margin, be regarded as a delicate Meimei’s voice.
“f.u.c.k me.” No. 2 was excited. “Where do you want to jump, sis? Add me as a friend after this game bei, I’m very good.”
Yu Yan crossed his legs, and smiled so widely that his small tiger tooth was revealed and shone brightly as he replied, “Okay ya, little Gege, I can jump anywhere.”
No. 2 responded, “Okay, then jump into my heart!”
“…”
This coa.r.s.e pick-up line was so unexpected that Yu Yan was left dumbstruck for a full five seconds.
The rest of the team didn’t talk, but they all jumped to Poc.h.i.n.ki with No. 2.
The route they had decided to take was to the side of Poc.h.i.n.ki, which was destined to be the most exciting place in the game. Just after the plane arrived over Poc.h.i.n.ki, dozens of people jumped from the plane, dropping just like dumplings.
“Little Jiejie!” No. 2 had already changed the name by which he was going to address him.
Yu Yan didn’t manage to react to him at first. He had been using a slightly languid voice to speak to his viewers. “Yes, I’m a new anchor, just started today… What am I good at? I’m very strong at everything. If I have to pick something, I’m an expert at head-on gunfights, so people who like to watch fights can click on my avatar to follow me.”
[Anchor, No. 2 is calling you! ]
[No. 2 has been calling you for a long time.]
No. 2 asked, “Little Jiejie, are you there? Are you going to jump ah? Why aren’t you paying any attention to me?”
Yu Yan smoothly switched over, “Ahk2026; here, little Gege, and I willlll!”
Another burst of 6666 appeared in the barrage.
No. 2 said, “Okay, if you’re afraid, follow behind me, I will protect youk2026;”
BAM BAM BAMk2014;k2014;
Before No. 2 could finish speaking, three notifications had appeared in the upper right hand corner of the screen.
yanxyan killed HUmanxian
yanxyan killed woshinidiedi
yanxyan killed secretCT
Yu Yan had picked up an S1897 from the ground. It was more commonly known as The Sprayer, the king of close range combat in the game. As long as the distance was close enough, one shot could bring down a person.
Yu Yan had fired three shots with the S1897 and knocked down three people.
“Little Gege, little Gege, I’m so afraid!” He said, killing three people while still using a falsetto voice.
No. 2: “…”
No. 2 said, “I think you’re very good ah…”
“It’s just luck. They all pointed their guns at me randomly, I was almost scared to death la.”
No. 2 was inspired again and exclaimed, “It’s OK, little Jiejie, you come find me!”
On the other end, Yi Chen had come out of the bath and was using a bath towel to dry his hair. He had slung a loose towel around his waist, leaving his upper body bare, and his strong manly abdominal muscles were exposed to the air.
He picked up his cell phone, found his a.s.sistant’s WeChat, and pressed the voice key.
“The livestream webpages are too complicated, and the layout of the homepage isn’t good as well, so you’ll have to submit a revised plan to me…”
“Little Gege, little Gege, there are people here… Little Gege, why are you dead again?”
The girl’s delicate and soft voice suddenly sounded, making Yi Chen’s hand twitch, and an unfinished voice message was sent.
Tch.
He squinted and went to the computer.
He thought he remembered opening up a male anchor’s livestream…
The screen had grown several times larger compared to the last time he had last seen it.
[Can the anchor speak properly hahahahaha]
[Big fake cute Meimei, killing people online]
[This No. 2 has been knocked down three times now, and has even stopped talking hahahahaha]
No. 2’s voice was harsh. “… I changed my mouse today, not really used to it yet.”
Yu Yan said understandingly, “I understand, little Gege. I’ll give you two more first aid kits oh.”
In the game, the avatar of a bald black-skinned woman had just revived the person who had fallen to the ground and had thrown him two first aid kits.
The white-skinned man who had been revived stood up again, but he just stood there like a statue, not moving at all.
Gunfire sounded outside, so Yu Yan reloaded the bullets as he called, “Little Gege…”
Before he finished speaking, the white-skinned man finally reacted—he suddenly hoisted the shotgun he had hanging on his body and shot Yu Yan!
This game had friendly fire. Even if they were teammates, they’ll still do 100% damage to your health. Yu Yan was knocked down instantly.
[？？？？]
[Did this Laoge suddenly go crazy???]
[Did he think it’s shameful, so he decided to kill and silence him??]
Yu Yan was also stunned. Just as he was about to speak, No. 2 suddenly spoke on the in-game mic. Though this time, a woman’s voice resounded from it.
“f.u.c.king wh.o.r.e! You little b.i.t.c.h, you’re the one who normally keeps seducing my boyfriend, right?” She continued to yell in an overbearing manner, “Who do you keep calling little Gege? Ah?! It was you who tried to hook up with him before ba?! I didn’t catch you when I went out of town last time, but if you can, try it again! If I don’t shave off all your hair and throw you into a nunnery, I’ll change my d.a.m.n last name to yours!”
No. 2’s voice could be heard faintly in the background as well as he stammered, “Hey… No baby, you misunderstood… Let me finish the game first…”
“What? You still want to play with this little s.l.u.t? Chen Ran, see if I don’t beat you to death… ”
Yu Yan: “…”
Yu Yan started, “…That… ”
“Shut up!” In the game, the white-skinned man crouched down, pulled his gun away, and then used his fist to punch Yu Yan into the ground, yelling with each punch, “You think I’d let you seduce my boyfriend! Let’s see you off! I’ll make you regret not having any sense of shame!”
Seeing his health bar getting lower and lower, Yu Yan hurriedly stopped her by yelling, “Little Jiejie! Little Jiejie, stop fighting! Misunderstanding! It’s all a misunderstanding!”
“How is it a misunderstanding…”
“…”
“Wait a minute, why is it a guy’s voice?” The woman paused before she asked, “What about the little s.l.u.t?”
“The little s.l.u.t is me!”
Reflecting upon what he had just said, Yu Yan felt that he was wrong and hurriedly confessed, “Hey, no, little Jiejie, I’m a man!”
“….”
“Really!” Yu Yan was frantic, so he pitched his voice high and said, “Look, I’m not lying to you, little Jiejie, please pull me up first, and then if we need to talk, we can talk properly…”
The voice channel experienced complete silence for ten seconds.
No. 3 and No. 4, who hadn’t spoken the entire time. “… WTF.”
“That, that, misunderstood ah,” After a while, the woman’s voice resounded with heaviness in her tone, and she crouched down to revive him.
The barrage was already about to explode from all the laughter.
[HAHAHAHA angry Laojie, coming online to hack at people!]
[I’m about to die from d.a.m.n laughter… Hahahaha an unexpected calamity.]
[Chen Ran, now more than a thousand people know that you have cheated!!]
After Yu Yan got up, the woman tossed him the first-aid kit she had picked up before. “… Giving this back to you ba.”
No. 2’s voice still sounded out from behind her as he shouted, “f.u.c.king d.a.m.nit! Why are you pulling him up! I’m going to blow up this d.a.m.n idiot!”
“You’re the idiot! Scram, Laoniang will check your friend list later! Scram, scram, scram!”
After cursing him out, the woman came back to the game and drank an energy drink to refuel herself. “No. 1, you’re a big man, what are you pretending to be a girl for ah? Catfishing?”
Yu Yan replied, “Chen Ran had said that if there were no girls in the team, he would quit the game. Little Jiejie, he’s the one forcing innocent girls to prost.i.tute themselves!”
No. 2 exploded, “Holy s.h.i.t! You d.a.m.n pervert!”
From the papa sounds in her background, it seemed that the little Jiejie on the other side had already made a move.
“You still have the nerve to talk?! Completely shameless! I’m going to break up with you after playing this d.a.m.n game!”
Yu Yan listened and directly laughed. His laughter wasn’t light or heavy but he never stopped moving his hands.
The little Jiejie cursed and cursed at her boyfriend, and couldn’t help saying, “No. 1, your technique is very good. Without this son of a b.i.t.c.h, you probably have a higher chance of winning.”
Yu Yan said, “Yeah, to be honest, I regretted it later. Why did I have to keep him; I revived him three or four times and used several first aid kits for nothing.”
No. 2 shouted, “*&… …%￥#@!”
“Shut up and get the f.u.c.k out of here!” After she finished cursing him out, the little Jiejie continued, “I’m sorry, family matters are ugly.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s understandable.”
After their team entered the third circle, No. 2 ended up dying under an enemy’s gunshots.
“Ah, two people surrounded me, and one was on the roof. I couldn’t help it.” Little Jiejie sighed, “You continue to play slowly, and I’ll go clean up that slag man first.”
“Okay.” Yu Yan said, “Don’t worry, I will let your boyfriend experience a chicken dinner once in all its splendor and glory before he dies.”
While talking, Yu Yan had already headshotted the sniper who had set up his gun on the roof.
Little Jiejie was shocked, and she didn’t hurry to leave the game. She directly clicked the ‘spectate’ b.u.t.ton to continue watching the battle.
15 minutes later, Yu Yan did what he said he would and killed his way into the final circle with his two teammates.
Winning two games in a row was an absolutely great way to attract the viewers’ attention.
He thought that it was a great chance, and feeling a little nervous, carefully searched for the remaining two enemy players.
It had been a long time since any shooting had commenced, so those two should be a team.
Finally, a black object appeared in the gra.s.s not far from him and directly in front of him. Yu Yan looked closely at it and yelled, “NE direction, Voldemort!”
In the final circle, people who laid on the ground to hide among the gra.s.s had been nicknamed Voldemort by the players.
His two teammates immediately understood the message, and the three of them got up almost at the same time and fired in that direction!
In the moment when Yu Yan killed the Voldemort, a gunshot hit against the side of his body—the three of them couldn’t even react to this, and within a few seconds, all of their screens turned gray at the same time——
At the end of this game, Yu Yan had won second place.
The player who had finally killed all three of them had done so with an M416.
[……？？Holy s.h.i.t]
[Was that a d.a.m.n immortal? The three of them were situated so far away, all killed by headshots, how could that be?!]
[Wait, this ID…]
The player ID that had killed them was XKTVlaoshu.
XKTV, StarTV, seemed like this person was also an anchor on the same livestreaming platform.
[This was definitely someone who was running cheating software!]
[Whenever the anchor loses, he just justifies it by saying that others were running cheating software? He can’t lose?]
[Upstairs ba, are you sick? What did the anchor say? ]
[Someone who can’t see through it is just a casual player ba, did you even buy this game?]
Yu Yan glanced at the ongoing barrage and smiled carelessly.
“Please stop quarreling, everyone. Actually, I will just let it go… After all, Chen Ran is such a slag man. He only deserves to eat chicken b.u.t.ts.”
—
Juurensha: Well, can see why Boss Yi stuck around to watch, it was pretty funny.
Noks: Ahhh… this chapter took a long time to edit, I couldn’t stop laughing all through it.
Divi: LMAO 10/10 livestream drama. Yanyan got careless, you got baited.