"I hate her," I muttered. "Her and her big fake chest. Smuggling water balloons ... do people believe they"re real? And her teeth..."
"How about we just not talk?" said Dmitri. "Save your strength and all that."
"You know what I hate more?" I slurred. "I hate that she gets to touch you and be with you when I don"t. I hate it that you love her." And that I couldn"t make you want me enough to not leave. And that I couldn"t make you want me enough to not leave. Even a severe beating wouldn"t get that last part out of me. Even a severe beating wouldn"t get that last part out of me.
Dmitri stopped us at his black road bike. "Luna..." He sighed, fishing for his keys. "I don"t love Irina. She"s my mate. It"s my duty to my pack. That"s why you can"t understand."
Any other day, in any other place, what Dmitri said would have made me jubilant. But with the clarity of trauma, I knew he was right. I didn"t didn"t understand why duty came before desire. I never had. And that was why a woman like Irina would always be chosen over someone like me. understand why duty came before desire. I never had. And that was why a woman like Irina would always be chosen over someone like me.
"Ready?" Dmitri said, sticking the key into the ignition.
I whimpered, digging my fingers into the leather of his jacket as he set me gently on the bike, sidesaddle, and then swung my left leg over. He mistook my sounds for pain, which was fine by me. "Okay. Almost there."
He got on in front of me and kicked the starter. "Hang on to me. I"ll take you home."
CHAPTER 26.
"Home" turned out to be the Redbacks" flophouse. Dmitri carried me up the stairs and laid me gently on a bed that stank of Irina. He rattled around in the bathroom and eventually emerged with gauze, peroxide, and sans his shirt. He saw me staring and shrugged. "You smeared blood all over it."
"Wouldn"t it make more sense to take me to the cottage?" I croaked. "I"m not exactly welcome around your pack."
Dmitri shook his head. "They"d know to look for you there. What kind of white knight would I be if I dumped you off?"
"c.r.a.ppy," I said. He poured peroxide onto a wad of gauze and dabbed at my forehead. It stung like I"d walked into an electric fence. "Hex it!" I shrieked, knocking his hand away. "Just let me heal up on my own!"
Dmitri"s mouth pressed into a thin line, then he grabbed a hand mirror from the bedside table and thrust it in front of me. "Look at yourself. You"re not healing from that any time soon."
In the mirror, I barely recognized my own face. My cheeks had swelled, I had an oozing cut on my forehead from hitting the wall, and my right eye was swollen almost shut, blue-black deep-tissue bruising kohling the skin around the socket. Joshua was good at what he did.
"G.o.ds," I said, pushing it away. "How can you even stand to look at me?"
"Please." Dmitri snorted. "If I can get past your att.i.tude, a little swelling ain"t gonna stop me." He put peroxide on fresh gauze and handed it to me. "Clean yourself up. The blood smell is driving me crazy."
"Making you crave virgin necks and fear garlic?" I said in a flippant tone as I dabbed at my cut lip. It stung even worse than my forehead and I hissed.
"No," said Dmitri, pacing to the far side of the bedroom. "No, necks aren"t what I"m craving."
I stopped dabbing at my face and met his eyes. They were cloudy and inscrutable. I took a breath, automatically scenting Dmitri like he was prey. His forehead creased. "Don"t do that."
Arousal slammed into me, the mingled adrenaline from my escape and Dmitri"s pheromones colliding in midair. He groaned. "Look, this was a bad idea. I"m going to leave."
"Don"t," I said. Sometimes you just know when your life pivots on the next tick of the clock, and this was one of those times. If Dmitri still cared, he"d stay. If not, I"d well and truly lost him and anything we"d shared.
Simple. Animal. A lot less complicated than couples therapy.
"Don"t go, go, Dmitri," I said again. "It"s okay." Dmitri," I said again. "It"s okay."
He hit the doorframe with the side of his closed fist. "G.o.ds-d.a.m.n it, Luna. If I stay, I"m not responsible for what happens."
I set down the peroxide and sat up, drawing my legs under me. Daring him to come closer. "Fine. Neither am I." My heart was beating loudly in my ears, and blood was rushing to all the tips of my body as the were reacted to Dmitri"s scent and the endorphins my body was pumping to cope with my injuries.
This was a lousy idea, but my animal brain didn"t care. It wanted what it wanted. Dmitri crossed the room in a few strides and pinned me back against the headboard, purring as he scented deeply of the blood on my face and neck.
"Stay with me," I whispered. Dmitri growled then, and I saw the ink spill across his eyes. Too late, I realized that this might have been an extremely ill-advised method of making up.
Dmitri kissed me, with the same straight-ahead pa.s.sion he put into everything, tongue licking my blood from my lips. He held my shoulder against the wall with one hand and with the other guided my fingers to his zipper. He was insistent, sure of his absolute control. I opened my eyes and saw that his own eyes were pure black, but oddly I wasn"t afraid. This time will be different. This time will be different. But it was still Dmitri, daemon blood or no. But it was still Dmitri, daemon blood or no.
He was here. And he was mine.
I stopped resisting. I kissed Dmitri back, ripping his jeans down and pulling him to me. He didn"t make a sound, just pulled at my clothes until they tore or the b.u.t.tons popped off. His urgency was new-before, he"d savored the time our skin touched, teased me to the point of exploding. Now, he seemed scared he might lose me.
"You won"t," I whispered in his ear. "I"m not leaving."
Still making no sounds, Dmitri gripped my shoulders, his nails leaving blood-colored half-moons, and moved into me. I whimpered, because it was rough and hurt, but I met him with my hips. Each motion caused me to gouge furrows down his back, but he just locked eyes with me and I with him. Our breathing meshed for time out of mind, Dmitri"s hands on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, almost pulping them as he pushed against me harder and harder. Our twin breaths crested as the climax came. I shut my eyes, closing around Dmitri as my heart thudded and felt him climax in turn.
Wetness dusted my cheeks and I opened my eyes to see the black retreat and Dmitri"s green eyes reappear. In the corners, droplets welled. I reached up and kissed them away. I didn"t ask why he was crying. I knew it was for the same reason I wanted to.
Afterward I drifted in and out, hearing doors slamming and people shouting in the apartments around us, mingled with dream fragments that I would wake from abruptly, sure that Dmitri would be gone.
His mouth quirked when I rolled over to look at him. "Still here."
I flushed. "I wasn"t a.s.suming you"d be gone."
Dmitri got up and pulled his jeans on, rolling his shoulders and the muscles in his back. I saw fading scratches along his shoulder blades, inflicted by my fingers. "Those hurt?"
"Yeah," he said, "but only in the good way. Want some water? Beer? Jack? Those are your choices, I"m afraid." Anything he might be thinking about what happened subsumed, he stood with one hip outthrust, in total control.
I found my bra and put it on, deciding not to push it. My panties were shredded, so I struggled painfully into my jeans and zipped them up. A lot of places still hurt from Joshua"s beating, plus a few new spots had become sore. "Actually, Dmitri, I think I should leave before Irina comes back. I"m really not up for that scene."
He waved that off. "She won"t be back until tomorrow. I think she went somewhere with the elders."
"She did," I said, wishing I could s.n.a.t.c.h the words back from midair as soon as I spoke them. "They paid me a visit."
Dmitri froze in the doorway to the bathroom. "What?"
c.r.a.p. c.r.a.p c.r.a.p c.r.a.p. When When was I going to learn to shut the Hex up? was I going to learn to shut the Hex up?
"Tell me what happened," said Dmitri in that deadly cold voice he used on lower-ranked pack members or people about to be in some serious s.h.i.t.
"Irina, and Sergei and Yelena," I said. "They came to my cottage and ... well, they threatened to do unspeakable things to me if I ever so much as thought about you again."
"And?" said Dmitri. Dammit, why couldn"t he just be satisfied with the abridged version?
"And," I said slowly, staring at my bare toes. The polish had chipped off my left foot but not my right. "I, um, I sort of made a deal with them."
Dmitri"s face went blacker than a dark and stormy night. "What deal, Luna?"
Maybe, I thought, maybe it won"t be so bad. Dmitri might actually be grateful that someone was on his side. Yeah, and the Fairlane was going to sprout wings and fly off into the sunset.
"I told them that I"d cure you of the daemon-blood infection by the next full moon," I blurted.
The longest seconds of my life pa.s.sed by before I could summon the willpower to actually look at Dmitri. I immediately wished I"d just kept examining my feet. His expression was fury, tightly controlled and directed like a laser straight through me.
After a long time he said, "I can"t f.u.c.king believe you did this."
"What was I supposed to do!" I exploded, defensiveness replacing my regret like a steel security door clamping down over a vault. "Would you have preferred I let them tear me to cold cuts and deliver me in a lunchbox?"
Dmitri crossed the room so fast he was only a blur of copper hair and infuriated green eyes, grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me practically off my feet. "You think I need to be cured, cured, like I"ve got some Hexed virus? And you think you"re going to be a little hero and make sure everyone is perfect and normal?" He shook me and my teeth rattled. like I"ve got some Hexed virus? And you think you"re going to be a little hero and make sure everyone is perfect and normal?" He shook me and my teeth rattled.
"Let go," I warned him, the were coming to the surface. "I won"t play in this scene any day, never mind now."
"You think I"m a dumb beast," Dmitri hissed. His eyes shifted from green to black so quickly it was like oil splashing into a clear pond. "You think I"m some monster skulking in the shadows. That I need you you to pick up my problems and smooth them over." to pick up my problems and smooth them over."
"Dmitri, I"m thinking this might be the daemon talking..." I started.
"Well, here"s a tip, sweetheart," he snarled, sounding more like a were than I"d ever heard him. "Next time, don"t f.u.c.k the monster"s brains out before you offer up your miracle cure. And don"t a.s.sume the monster wants wants to stop." to stop."
"I wanted to help you," I whispered. "Sergei and Yelena were going to kill us both."
"Not everything in the world is your problem, Luna. In fact, most of your grand crusades would work out much better if you kept them to yourself."
Heat rushed into my face. This time, it had nothing to do with arousal. I grabbed Dmitri"s wrists and shoved him away from me with all my strength. He fell back and then circled, snarling and black-eyed.
"Hex you," I said, not even caring anymore if he turned me into kibble. "I"m trying to help you. I"m the only only one trying to help you. But you know what? Forget it. You don"t deserve help, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d. You deserve to rot, to turn into this ... thing and spend the rest of your life locked in some bunker in Kiev." one trying to help you. But you know what? Forget it. You don"t deserve help, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d. You deserve to rot, to turn into this ... thing and spend the rest of your life locked in some bunker in Kiev."
In that moment, I really meant it, and Dmitri knew it. His pupils showed a tiny ringlet of green as I gathered up the rest of my clothes.
"Luna. .."
"Go roast in all seven h.e.l.ls," I said, walking out and slamming the door behind me.
I made it back to my cottage, shivering inside a taxi, before I curled into a ball and sobbed. I"d thought the debacle with Irina and the pack was the worst I could ever feel, but I"d been wrong.
Then, I hadn"t truly believed Dmitri was gone. I"d become convinced that if I were just strong and patient enough, he"d be back.
My phone rang, and I slapped it off the hook and went back to hugging my pillow and crying like a high school cheerleader who gets dumped the day before homecoming.
Now, Dmitri was really gone, and I hadn"t lost him to the Redbacks or to Irina. The man I cared for had been consumed by what was inside him, and there wasn"t a d.a.m.ned thing I could do.
It hurt, so much so that I wasn"t sure I"d be able to get up again. I just stayed curled in the fetal position, trying to will back what I"d lost and doing a lousy f.u.c.king job.
After a while I must have fallen asleep, because when I snapped awake it was dark outside and someone was pounding on my door. The pounding cut off and a key sc.r.a.ped in the lock. Sunny shouted, "Luna? You home? Do you know your phone"s disconnected?"
My eyes were gritty and swollen, and my throat was sore from crying. Sunny"s footsteps mounted the stairs and my bedroom light snapped on. I heard her suck in a breath. "Oh, my dear G.o.ds."
"You should see the other were," I muttered, putting a hand over my eyes to shield them.
Sunny moved it and stared down at me, her expression somewhere between horror and righteous anger. "Who did this?" she demanded. "I"ll fry their Hexed b.a.l.l.s off."
"Already taken care of," I said, and dissolved into giggles. This day had been too long and terrible to do anything but laugh.
Sunny helped me sit up, pulled a blanket over my legs, and ordered, "Don"t move. I"ll make you tea." The Rhoda Sunflower Swann All-purpose Cure. She rushed downstairs and I let my eyes fall closed. I could have sworn I smelled beef lo mein. That did it-I was cracking up.
Sunny reappeared after a minute with a tray bearing a steaming mug of tea and a plate of rice and the aforescented lo mein. Well. At least I wasn"t going to add a trip to the padded room to my resume.
"I thought you might be hungry when I came over," she said, tucking a napkin under my chin and plumping my pillows.
"Thanks." I sighed, taking a token bite. It was delicious, and I realized I was starving.
"Why is your phone off the hook?" Sunny asked. I answered around a towering forkful of rice and noodles.
"I sorta had a fight with Dmitri."
"Dmitri?" Sunny blinked. "What happened to Trevor?"
I thought back to our last phone call, and his subsequent silence. "Um, I guess I had a fight with him too."
"Can"t say I didn"t see that coming," said Sunny. "What happened with Dmitri?"
I set down my fork. "I made a promise I couldn"t keep. He let the daemon bite have a little too much lead. It got ugly. That, and it happened right after one of Seamus O"Halloran"s thugs beat me half to death, so I wasn"t thinking very clearly." I prayed she"d buy the edited version and not interrogate me. I wasn"t a very good liar where Sunny was concerned.
Sunny bit her lip. "So, now I must seem like a total idiot with all my esteem for the family."
"Forget it," I told her, hiding my relief behind a toss of my head. "How were you supposed to know?" I filled her in on the rest, the short story of the Skull and my all-around idiocy.
Sunny picked a noodle off my plate and chewed on it. "So they stole the Skull of Mathias from the Blackburns?"
I nodded. Sunny rubbed her temples. "That"s really bad."
"You don"t know the half," I told her. "They"re close to being able to figure out how to use it." I shook my head. "Funny how the Blackburns held onto it for thirty-seven generations or something, and not once did anything bad happen, and now the good guys have the bad guys" ultimate superweapon and all h.e.l.l is breaking loose."
"People don"t always do what you think they should," said Sunny quietly. "You, for instance."
"Ouch," I told her. But as usual, Sunny was absolutely right. It was an annoying habit of hers.
No one would be able to stop Seamus O"Halloran if he gained access to daemon magick. h.e.l.l, I wasn"t sure if I could stop him now. I was sick of daemons, sick of Asmodeus and Dmitri and the stupid Skull.
I choked on a piece of beef. Sunny whacked me on the back. "What is it?"