I gave him the rest of the details, and he sounded happy and excited as he said good night.
Afterward, I sat for a long time just holding the phone.
What I"d told Simon about William was true-as far as I knew, he wasn"t going.
But I did hope to find William out in the Old Grove.
I didn"t know why he"d disappeared. I still had some hope that there was a very simple explanation for why he was gone, but that hope was a little shaky.
If I managed to find William tomorrow, would he be happy to see me?
Would he send me away?
When I"d come up to my room, I hadn"t turned the light on, and I continued to sit, watching the daylight dying through my window. Eventually, darkness stole over the room, and night was fully upon me. There was something soothing about the darkness, and I found that I wanted to breathe it in.
I went to the window and opened it. Then I pulled the chair from my desk up to my window, and I sat down, leaning on the windowsill and letting the cold night air wash over me.
There was something soft and inviting about the night. It seemed as if I were listening to a melody that I could almost hear-a melody so beautiful that it didn"t belong to this world. I saw myself wandering out into the night, out into the delicious cold to find the source of the melody.
I remembered that I had felt the night calling to me once before-right before I had met William. But that feeling had been feverish and disturbing-it had clouded my mind. This feeling was serene and inviting. It occurred to me that if I could find the source of this almost-heard melody, that along with it I would find peace.
A car drove down the quiet street below, and I stirred. I remembered vaguely that someone had given me a warning-it was hard for me to force it forward in my thoughts, and I decided it didn"t matter. I wasn"t going anywhere anyway. I was just going to sit by the window and listen to the night.
And so I listened.
I couldn"t tell how long I had sat by the window, or if I might even have fallen asleep, but suddenly my vision was flooded with light, and I felt warm hands on my shoulders.
"Katie, what are you doing?"
I turned in my chair, blinking. Someone had turned the light on in my room.
GM was leaning over me.
"Solnyshko, you are absolutely frozen. Come away from the window."
It seemed to me that GM sounded alarmed. I allowed her to pull me out of the chair, and I jumped when she shut the window forcefully.
I was suddenly alone-bereft of the beautiful music I could almost hear.
The lovely spell of the night had been broken. I held my hands to my head.
"I am surprised at you," GM was saying. "You won"t make it to the party tomorrow if you make yourself ill. Surely you have better sense than that."
I looked around at GM. She seemed angry.
"Come now," GM said, pulling me toward the door. "You"re going to take a warm shower to bring your core temperature up, and then you"re going to bed. If you are sick in the morning, you"re staying home. No argument."
She steered me into the bathroom, and she turned on the water in the shower. After a moment, she drew her hand back.
"There. That should be all right. Keep the shower warm, not hot. I"ll bring you some nightclothes."
GM left the room and returned a moment later. She handed me a small pile of clothing.
"Now, take a shower like I said and get to bed." She stared at me for a long moment. "Sometimes, Katie, I swear I don"t know what gets into you. You really scare me. You remind me of your-"
She broke off. "Just take your shower, Katie. And no more foolishness tonight."
GM left the room, closing the door behind her.
I watched as the mirror slowly fogged up, and as the air filled with steam my mind began to clear.
I looked down at my hands, which were bright red and starting to sting. My throat was sore too, and the warm, damp air was soothing. Like GM, I wondered what I had been doing.
I undressed and got into the shower, and the water seemed to wash the remaining cloudiness from my mind. I figured I had just let all my worries overwhelm me.
I stayed in the warm water until felt myself thaw completely, and then I dressed for bed. I went back to my room.
My room was still a bit chilly, but I could see that GM had put the heat on. I was about to climb into bed, when I realized that I wasn"t wearing the cross William had given me.
I found it and held it in my hands for a moment. Looking at it always made me feel calm-perhaps because it made me think of William. The iron charm was cold to the touch, but I knew that it would warm up after I had worn it against my skin for a little while.
I put it on and went to the window, but I wasn"t going to open it again-I just had a sudden idea that I might glimpse William.
I supposed it was unlikely, but he had said that he would watch the house and make sure that it was safe. Once again I realized that although William would no longer see me, I did indeed feel safe-I did believe that he was watching over me.
I had a feeling that William still kept his lonely vigil.
I peered into the night, but I didn"t see any sign of William.
As I turned away from the window, I thought I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye-a figure of a man-tall and starkly white.
I turned back quickly, but there was no one outside.
I shook my head to clear it. I seemed to be catching things at the edge of my vision all the time now-I figured I must have imagined it.
I climbed into bed and turned out the light. I curled my fingers around my cross and thought of William until I fell asleep.
I woke up early, dressed quickly, and hurried downstairs. Every nerve in body was tingling at the thought of seeing William again. The days I"d spent without him had felt like an eternity. I didn"t care at the moment why he"d disappeared-I just wanted to see him.
GM was in the kitchen when I came down, and she was just pulling something out of the oven.
"Brownies?" I asked in surprise. GM was always very vocal in her disapproval of sweets, and I hadn"t actually realized that we had all the ingredients necessary for brownies in the house.
GM set the pan of brownies on the stove and shut the oven door. She looked at me searchingly. "How are you feeling this morning, Solnyshko?"
"I"m fine. I slept really well-after I warmed up."
"You really are well? Really and truly?"
"Yes, really and truly," I said.
"Well, then." GM waved a hand clad in an oven mitt toward the brownies. "I know parties are not the same as they were when you were very young, but I still thought it would be nice for you to have something to take to the party this afternoon."
I gave GM a hug. "Thank you. I"m sorry about last night. I don"t know what came over me."
GM pulled off her oven mitt and brushed the hair off my forehead.
"Don"t think about it, Solnyshko. You have had a very trying week. I am very grateful that you got away from that horrible man unscathed. You have actually taken everything that happened very well. I suppose something like this was bound to happen-it must have been a reaction to the trauma."
I wondered if GM was right-had my odd frozen trance of the night before been a delayed response to the attack by Joshua? I supposed it was possible.
But something tugged at the back of my mind-something I was forgetting. I tried to force the thought forward, but it was elusive. I figured it would come to me if it were important.
After breakfast, I worked on homework until it was time to leave for the party. As I went out to the car with GM, cradling a container full of brownies in my arms, I felt a pang of nervousness. I was going to be able to search for William soon.
I scolded myself then and told myself to think of Bryony first-she was the real reason I was going out to the Old Grove. Seeing William would have to come second-after all, a few more hours would not change whatever reason he had for avoiding me.
Silently, I told myself to relax.
But I was nervous all the same.
I glanced over at GM as she drove us swiftly over to the Old Grove. Despite my best efforts, William kept breaking into my thoughts, and I realized that I hadn"t told her that Charisse had changed her mind about seeing him with Joshua. In fact, GM and I had not spoken about William since she had forbidden me to see him. I wondered if she thought she had put an end to our relationship for good. It was always hard to tell with her.
"GM," I said carefully. "There"s something you should know. Charisse didn"t report William to the police. She said she couldn"t be sure she"d seen him with Joshua Martin."
GM"s hands tightened on the steering wheel, and she glanced at me sharply. "Is that your way of telling me that he is going to be at the party?"
"No. William wasn"t invited." I realized suddenly that I was actually on pretty shaky ground. If GM got upset, there was a very good chance that she would turn the car around and take us straight home.
"I am relieved to hear he wasn"t invited," GM said. "We"ll discuss his status in our household later."
I looked out the window and watched the scenery flying past us. I decided once again just to focus on Bryony and the party.
Before long we reached the Old Grove, and GM insisted on walking with me until we found the party site. Once we spotted a large gazebo full of people, GM allowed me to go on alone.
The day was cold, but I could see several bright fires up ahead, and some of the party guests had removed their coats already. The grove itself was a pretty place, and laughter from the party drifted over to me.
It was hard to believe that anything terrible had happened here, but I thought suddenly of Anton and Innokenti and the two girls who had been attacked in the Old Grove. I felt a momentary panic that the two of them might put in an unwelcome appearance. But I looked toward the crowd ahead of me, and I told myself not to worry about them-surely Anton and Innokenti would not risk attacking such a large group.
And there appeared to be plenty of fire around.
As I reached the party, Bryony spotted me and waved, and I walked up to her.
"Thanks for coming," Bryony said smiling.
"Happy birthday," I said, holding out my plastic container. "I"ve brought you some brownies. My grandmother made them."
Bryony accepted the container from me. "Thank you. My grandmother couldn"t come today-she said it was too cold for her. She did ask me to tell her how you were doing. She"s been concerned about you ever since the ghost in her house gave her the warning for you."
I drew in my breath sharply. Don"t let him sing to her. Was that what had happened to me last night when I had sat by the window in a trance-like state? Had someone been singing to me?
Bryony was staring at me in concern. "Are you okay? You went awfully pale all of a sudden."
I shook off my fears. Whatever had happened last night, I was in no danger at the moment.
I would just have to be careful from now on to keep the warning from Bryony"s grandmother in mind.
"I"m fine," I said, in what I hoped was a rea.s.suring tone. "And please tell your grandmother that I"m doing well." I looked around. "It looks like you"ve got a good crowd here."
Bryony smiled. "I"ve been really lucky. A lot of people were able to come even with the short notice."
I glanced around again, and I happened to catch Irina"s dark eye. She quickly looked away.
"I"ve asked Irina to be nice," Bryony said quietly. "She said she would."
I resisted the impulse to smile. I was sure that that request had not gone over well with Irina.
"Come and meet my parents," Bryony said.
I met Mr. and Mrs. Carson and Bryony"s older sister, Eva, a tall, slender senior was with same long, light brown hair that Bryony had. I had seen Eva in the halls at school before-she looked like the cover of a magazine.
Bryony"s father was busy manning a barbeque, and there were several tables laden with food nearby. Bryony deposited my brownies with a number of other desserts, and then we went to talk to the other guests. I said h.e.l.lo to Annamaria, who was just taking off her coat and scarf because of the heat. As she did so, she revealed a series of angry white scars on her neck.
Between the heaters and the fires, it was actually quite hot in the gazebo, and I found myself peeling off my own winter things.
As I was folding my coat over my arm, Simon came up to me.
"Thanks for inviting me to this," he said with a smile.
I smiled back. "I can"t take credit for that. Technically, Bryony invited you. I just pa.s.sed the message on."
"Well, thanks for doing that. My brother thanks you too."
Simon nodded his head, and I followed his gaze. Simon"s brother, James, was now talking with Eva.
Simon continued. "James insisted on crashing when he heard where I was going today. He"s been scheming for ages to get a chance to talk to Eva. This was a perfect opportunity for him."
I watched the two of them talking. James"s expression-typically harsh and closed-was open and friendly. Eva smiled at something he said, and James smiled in return. His smile was shy and uncertain, but it was a smile nonetheless.
"He"s doing really well, isn"t he?" I said, turning back to Simon. "You can see the difference in him."
"Yeah. His grades are way up this quarter, and in January he"s going to begin applying to colleges. He"ll probably have to go to community college for the first year or two, but he may be able to transfer to one of the state schools after that."
"I"m really happy for him," I said. "It"s amazing how he"s turned his life around."
"Yeah. I"m proud of him." Simon paused, and then gave me a serious look. "One thing that really helped him was getting rid of bad influences-people he thought were his friends but really weren"t. It was hard watching him back when he was younger and he first started going down the wrong path. Those bad influences were working on him then, dragging him down. I don"t want to see you go downhill too."
"You"re talking about William," I said wearily.