The moon gradually raised up high, the night’s color already thickened.
Duan Shun Jie sat alone in the tent, by himself, staring at the candle light in front of him, day-dreaming --- watching a stupid little moth, seemed like it was dazzled by the flickering candle light, flapping its frail wings intending to charge into the middle of the flame, he couldn’t help but heave a sigh, lightly waved his sleeve, wanted to shoo the moth away...
“Shun Jie.” The familiar voice caused him to stop his movement. When he was reminded of the moth again, he was right in time to see that small moth tumbled into the flame, struggling for a while before he turned into a regiment of burned black and fell to the ground, vanished from this mortal world.
“What’s wrong, haven’t slept yet?” Even if since long he had uncovered his Prince of Datong’s status to Duan Shun Jie, Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng’s smiling face remained the same fresh and pure without any worry for the mundane affairs. In Duan Shun Jie’s eyes, this made him unable to stop a spell of stirring affection mixed up with a spell of complex pain.
Silently gritted his teeth, Duan Shun Jie tried to use his normal expression when facing Xuan Yuan.
Following Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng to attack the occupying on southwest strategic point insurrectionary army, Jiang Rong, already almost a month. They had pinned down Jiang Rong on this small Tian’nan City for nearly ten days. The victory was within sight, his mood still couldn’t be relaxed. Within the Datong’s army, no matter what, he was merely an out of place outsider. Wherever he went to, he still could feel the peculiar eyes they casted on his back. In the Datong’s army’s mind, he would be forever a mere greedy for life afraid of death1, sold his friends for glory, Pingnan’s betrayer.
Even though using the deed of Ouyang Si Qi’s safety as an excuse to stay by Xuan Yuan’s side, he always felt that his heart2 seemingly had drifted further and further from him. Duan Shun Jie, by each pa.s.sing day had become even more desperate for this love, yet he didn’t have a single person he could recount about his miserable loneliness.
Most probably he could see the sadness in Duan Shun Jie’s eyes, Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng didn’t say much words anymore, he just slowly closed in, gently put his hand on his shoulder.
“Go to sleep. Tomorrow afternoon, I will issue an order to attack. Tonight, we...” The last word was said with the utmost lowest voice to the point it couldn’t be heard, the thin and long fair fingers were like a feather caressing Duan Shun Jie’s neck, causing him to be unable to stop the slight tremble all over his body for a while.
Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng softly laughed, amused by his sensitiveness. He simply leaned the whole of his weight on his back, his pair of warm hands intimately circled on his neck, said: “Are you being bashful? Let’s go to bed, I am also tired...”
Duan Shun Jie being as slow witted as he was, he still could feel the teasing implication in his words. Wanted to refuse but the palpitation of his heart made him unable to say a complete sentence, could only allow him to pull him towards the couch by the side.
“Xi Cheng, tomorrow we are going to attack, tonight...” Didn’t dare to use too much force to refuse the pulling his sash Xuan Yuan, Duan Shun Jie attempted to use verbal refusal. However, the hadn’tescaped from his mouth artificial speech from the intertwined wet and moist spittle had become a layer of muddled speech.
His rationality was stirred into an utter confusion. The lingering on his neck, front of the chest, pa.s.sionate kisses made him as if emitted a high fever like heat from all over his body. Could only tightly hold on Xuan Yuan, allowed him to bend and twist his body into a weird posture.
Being entered from this posture caused Duan Shun Jie pain to the point of sweating. But his self-honor made him choose to clutch tightly on the bed sheet enduring Xuan Yuan’s rough manner. Perhaps the unlubricated body of a man was actually too tight and difficult to be entered, he heard Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng’s rude swear, taking out his already entered more than a half manhood with a sudden force --- Duan Shun Jie couldn’t help his groaning voice because of this action.
The icy-cold scented oil, by the merciless fingers, was being shoved to the innermost part of his body in a quick pace. Xuan Yuan roughly stirred it for a while before he continued to pierce in with his erection.
The connected place of the two people was flaming hot as if burning, Duan Shun Jie’s heart still remained cold. This connection, no matter how one looked it at was merely a conduct of Xuan Yuan who couldn’t find a woman to release his desire during military campaign --- also, in order to preserve the extent of their relationship, he had bet with his whole life3.
In this fated game of gambling to be left with nothing, his best winnings would only be the prolonged time for him to stay in this game. Didn’t dare to think about what would happen to him if the day when he had to leave had come. As long as he had this kind of chance to be together, he would be willing to throw away all of the bargaining chips in his hands.
Hearing that their panting gradually became louder, Duan Shun Jie, because of being pushed unceasingly to the innermost part of his body, was no longer able to bear it and let out his moans. The panting was of pleasure mixed with pain, made him drown in the surging tide of desire. His arms little by little lost the strength to bear the weight of his body, he could then only lean over the entire of his body to lie prostate, allowing Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng to ram vigorously without stopping. In his close to weeping moaning and panting in pain state, he could feel the approaching surging up climax...
The tide of pleasure hadn’t been completely subdued, Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng already took himself out from his body without whatever lingering feelings. Hearing the ‘xishuo’4 sound of wearing the clothes coming from his back, Duan Shun Jie still didn’t have the courage to turn his head to have a look --- he was afraid to see Xuan Yuan’s indifferent expression, even more afraid to face the reality that between the two of them, there was only him one-sidedly investing his feelings in this relationship.
“Tomorrow, during the attack, you need to give a good performance.” Xuan Yuan had worn his clothes, whispering with the all satisfied like a fully fed cat’s voice, patting Duan Shun Jie’s bare back, said, “Have a good rest. I’m going back now.”
Seeing the tall shadow which was reflected by the dimmed candle light in the tent gradually shrank then vanished, Duan Shun Jie slowly curled up his body into a small circular shape, it was as if only by doing this could he withstand the slowly spreading in his heart’s coldness.
Jian Rong’s army’s last resistance was not as heroic as what they had imagined at all. The already being tormented by hunger for almost ten days insurrectionary army, under Datong’s frenzy attack, could not even hold on for more than two hours, and the perched high for many years, Jiang Rong, when he saw the irredeemable situation, committed suicide. Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng, once again, with his unparalleled military accomplishment, proved himself to be the Datong Dynasty’s irreplaceable warlord.
When the report of the victory reached Tong’an, Feng Zong’s happiness naturally would be beyond compare. Began from the defeat and disperse of Pingnan’s troop, the comparatively large in power and influence rebellionarmies within the nation were being put down one by one. The domination of Datong’s Imperial Dynasty which was originally already on the verge of collapsing, seemingly became firm again. The Seventh Prince’s shocking military accomplishment caused Feng Zong’s yearning towards this son of his to be increased, even to issue a decree to summon him back to Capital to spend the Chinese New Year together.
Continuously went on expedition, the Datong’s army upon hearing the news that they could temporary take a break, of course would be cheering excitedly. Even Pei Jin Tian, the rather old General, because of the possibility to reunite with his family, was secretly delighted. Maybe, the one and only in this entire Datong’s army who was not willing to hear this news was Duan Shun Jie alone.
“What? Could see Ouyang Si Qi, you don’t feel happy?” Could temporarily get away from the continuous expedition, Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng didn’t show whether he was happy or not, still the same kind of cool and calm indifferent expression. From the feast of celebrating the victory, he came to Duan Shun Jie’s tent. He appeared to unintentionally and leisurely mention the name that could hurt Duan Shun Jie’s feeling.
Knowing that if he let out a pained expression he would only make this ill-willed man happy, Duan Shun Jie could only wordlessly smile bitterly --- Ouyang Si Qi was indeed his one and only blood relative in this world, however, he really didn’t want to face her, who was conceiving Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng’s child, didn’t want to face her, who held resentfulness towards himself.
“I see that you aren’t quite happy? Don’t want to see her?” Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng drank empty the wine in his hand, continued with his ridiculing tone, “I heard that she and the females in my manor don’t get along well. Her temper seems to be as big as her belly.”
Had no way to ignore the flashing sharp agony in his heart upon hearing the term of “The females of the manor”, Duan Shun Jie understood that he had no position nor qualification to be jealous, yet, he still had no way to block up the bitterness from spreading in his heart.
Regarding Xuan Yuan’s affection, it was like drinking a cup of magnificent poisonous wine. The first time it entered the mouth, the sweetness would make one melt. After entering the stomach, it would become more and more bitter, more and more astringent, ultimately, it would be unavoidable that the intestines would be pierced through, the stomach would rot. It was the price of experiencing such luscious sweetness.
“Be at ease! Yours and theirs flavor are not same. After we reach Tong’an, can’t say precisely, I might have the mood to look for you.” Lightly pinched on Duan Shun Jie’s cheek, Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng didn’t hide his slightly ridiculing tone.
Knowing that he was ridiculing him as the lowest and worthless person who would come as soon as he called and would go as soon as he asked, Duan Shun Jie, even half of retorting sentence didn’t escape his mouth --- in front of Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng, he could only be like a scarecrow, no matter how he forced and insulted him, he would only stay silent without striking back, persistently and painfully endured until he was thoroughly beaten into a withered gra.s.s.
Although Xuan Yuan said it like that, yet, from the moment the army began to march back to Capital, he didn’t touchDuan Shun Jie anymore. When the two of them met, his eyes also would slide from him in no time. Clearly he understood that following the closer they got to Tong’an, the further Xuan Yuan had drifted apart, still, Duan Shun Jie could only choose to be quiet. Everyday he would mechanically follow the marching army.
When others didn’t pay attention, he would stealthily seek for that seemingly unrivalled honorable man with his eyes.
Duan Shun Jie understood by heart, Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng didn’t love him at all, perhaps also didn’t love whomever. He began to engage in a relationship with him due to the necessity of his military strategy, then afterwards, it was because he was a convenient element to release his desire during the military campaign. So, after he returned to Tong’an, this necessity no longer exists. Those little intimate touches which had pained him to death also would become as distant as the dream world. He would find a new object, then thoroughly forget about him.
He definitely was merely a pa.s.sersby in one period of the Datong’s Seventh Prince’s brilliant life, basically he would have no way to leave whatever mark --- even if Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng was his heaven, his world, all of the reasons for his existence, but the Cruel Prince himself wouldn’t just because of this throw him an attentive eye.
After trudging for more than ten days, finally the army successfully entered the city of Tong’an.
Very fast, Duan Shun Jie realized that his worries5 were a little uncalled for --- as the surrendered General of a rebellion army, he had no chance at all to meet Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng’s family members. After seeing him in haste, Feng Zong granted him a Manor located on the outer city and conferred upon him the t.i.tle of General of Pingnan. And for the Seventh Prince, Xuan Yuan, resided in the Imperial Manor in the inner city, near the Forbidden City. Both of them were separated by several thick and large walls of the Palace. Except for the few grand scale forconferring t.i.tle banquets, he didn’t even have the chance to see Xuan Yuan.
The days when he was unable to see Xuan Yuan were still as if he had died, but Duan Shun Jie felt he had no position at all to go and disturb his reunion with his hadn’t seen for long times family members. Everyday he would be alone in his cold Manor, daydreaming. His longing to see Xuan Yuan became even thicker and stronger, he could only desperately restrain himself.
The days were unbearable, yet, in a blink of an eye, it was already the Lunar New Year’s Eve. Couldn’t stand the Manor’s servants hoping to be together with their family expression, Duan Shun Jie since earlier had let them leave the Manor to go home. In the evening of New Year’s Eve, the General’s Manor was only left with a page boy with several old servants who had no home to return to.
In all places, the air was filled with a joyous atmosphere. In Tong’an City, each and every family6 was preparing for the spring festival meals. Duan Shun Jie completely couldn’t feel whatever New Year’s atmosphere. In the cold, to the point he couldn’t feel the aura of a human in the room, he still could only choose to be like his usual day, sat in the study room, daydreaming, to pa.s.s the festivals.
“General...” A reverent and cautious voice, broke the coldness and stillness that surrounding the room. Looking properly, it was actually the page boy, Fu Yue, calling out to him --- Fu Yue was a boy who had a bit similarity with Chang Er, often used a very curious but with concerned eyes to secretly look at him.
“General, Seventh Prince’s Imperial Concubine Ouyang comes to pay you a visit. General?”
Upon hearing the four words of Imperial Concubine Ouyang, Duan Shun Jie still couldn’t recall who that was. When he came to his senses, his heart jumped severely. A hard to explain by words guilty conscience and the nervousness made him appeared to be a little off.
But what must happen eventually would happen. Even though he was unwilling to the extent of having a little fear to face Ouyang Si Qi, Duan Shun Jie still gathered up enough courage to face his only relative in this world.
“General, do you want to eat a little before you go?” Fu Yue, again, used that kind of concerned expression to look at him. Duan Shun Jie with a little guilty conscience shook his head --- when his mood was worst to the highest point, his appet.i.te seemingly also disappeared. Although today he hadn’t eaten even a grain of rice, yet his heart as if it had been stuffed full by all kinds of nameless feelings, couldn’t afford to eat whatever food.
“Quick, let the Imperial Concubine to enter.”
Even if he already made countless mental preparations, the sight of the big belly Ouyang Si Qi had still gave Duan Shun Jie an unbearable shock. The formerly sharp, delicate and pretty young girl had completely disappeared. The Ouyang Si Qi who appeared in front of him now was of silks and satins, left to right were personal maidens to support her by the arms, however, her face was stiff and rigid with resentment, even her naturally beautiful and charming facial features7 had been twisted and made her appear to be older.
“If not because Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng forced me to come, I wouldn’t have come to see you.” Sitting down and waved her attendants to retreat, Ouyang Si Qi’s first sentence was harsh and indifferent.
Had known that she wouldn’t be friendly with him, yet, Ouyang Si Qi’s full of resentment words still caused a painful pang in Duan Shun Jie’s heart.
“Long time no see8 ... He... Xuan Yuan, does he treat you well?” Didn’t know what kind of face he should make to ask about her and Xuan Yuan Xi Cheng’s relationship, Duan Shun Jie could feel that the news he was asking seemed like a tremendous irony.
“What do you think?” Ouyang Si Qi’s face became even more strict, “After entering the Imperial Manor, the times I met him, in total were not more than five times. In order of seniority, I am his seventeenth Concubine. Not including all of these, he is the enemy who had killed my father. Say, will he treat me well or not?”
Except for silence, Duan Shun Jie absolutely didn’t know how to deal with his sister’s suffering. Even his own wound was unable to be covered, how could he have the surplus energy to comfort someone else.
“Si Qi, I beg you, please don’t blame me...” Silent for a long while, Duan Shun Jie in the end could only earnestly beg for her forgiveness. He had harmed his closest person, yet, he still couldn’t barter9 it with his own happiness --- Duan Shun Jie felt that he most probably was this world’s greatest fool.
Facing Duan Shun Jie who asked for forgiveness, Ouyang Si Qi’s response was to powerfully land her palm on his face, then coldly said: “Duan Shun Jie, what kind of joke are you telling! Actually still have the face to ask me not to blame you! You ganged up with the outsider to kill my father and destroy my Pingnan estate, also instigated a spy to deceive me... My life has ended, all has been destroyed by your hypocritical hand!! Dearest Brother, even so, you still dare to ask me not to blame you! Ahahahaha...” The laughter voice was sharp, as if it was a sharp knife stabbing on Duan Shun Jie’s heart.
Ouyang Si Qi finally stopped her laughter --- Duan Shun Jie thought she would cry, but that previously like to cry and laugh young girl indeed had completely vanished, her eyes didn’t have even a drop of tears, instead, there was this sent cold shivers down to one’s spine absolutely horrified kind of hatred and despise.
“Si Qi, don’t be like this...”
His face was burning hot with pain, but how could it be compared to the anguish in Duan Shun Jie’s heart. He thought that by letting her become Xuan Yuan’s wife he could make her a bit happier, but looking at the situation now, it was as if he had shoved her into an even more tragic situation, “The departed had departed...”
“Duan Shun Jie, you shut up! You had betrayed your relatives to gain high-position and great wealth, how could you still have the face to talk about the departed! Duan Shun Jie, you are such a shameless lowly person! I curse you to not be able to die peacefully!” Coldly threw down an ill poisonous curse, Ouyang Si Qi called out to her maidens with a loud voice to help her leave, not even turned her head to look at the sitting alone like losing soul dropping spirit Duan Shun Jie.
Not realizing how long it had been, the transmitted ear-splitting noise of firecrackers from a distant place pulled Duan Shun Jie out from his absentminded state. Looking around to the four sides, the pitch black night at all around was cold, miserable, freezing and cheerless, to the point he even didn’t know where Fu Yue had gone to.
With a slow step he left the study towards the nextdoor’s bedroom, Duan Shun Jie’s steps seemed to be abnormally heavy. On former years during the New Year’s Eve, he would be together with the Lord of Zhongnan to pa.s.s the eve, even if he didn’t have father and mother to be by his side, however, the doting of his Master and the brothers’ brotherly love was satisfying enough to make him forget his unhappiness as an orphan.
Never had it crossed his mind that when he had become a complete adult, this moment and this day, he would deeply understand what the meaning of being miserably lonely was.
“Xi Cheng, I miss you so much...” Alone by himself he entered the bedroom which had the same miserably lonely atmosphere, Duan Shun Jie walked to the table and lit up a candle. The filled with yearning’s heart finally at the moment when it was lit by the candle light, burst open and poured out like silvery water, turned into an improper whisper, scattered in the icy-cold air.
End of Fallen Hero Chapter 11