When I wake up in the morning, I customarily turn around, using my hand to feel the empty, ice-cold cottoned pear silk that hadn’t ever been warmed by a body, which eliminates my drowsiness in a flash.
I haven’t seen Jinzi since the night before, but… I don’t want to think about that right now. I don’t want to expose the soft area that belongs to women again, that would let others easily wound it.
It’s not his fault. I’m aware that his behavior on that cliffside was more because he was sulky and lashing out from that morning. There’s quite a few things that we’ve come to a mutual understanding about, in fact, and don’t need to ask about. Furthermore, my words that night were a bit excessive. Though I really don’t like this feeling of the core of your being leaning towards another being; that their every act and motion, every scowl and smile, will intensely influence your own mood and att.i.tude. I can’t stand being so weak, so vulnerable.
I’ve slept for only two or three hours, giving me some sort of tired excitement. A thread of white is gradually penetrating the faraway sky, making the candle’s flame in front of my mirror seem glum.
When I entered this body, I rarely looked at my reflection in the mirror as I really didn’t like it. This man’s appearance is still very alien to me. I’ve always felt that I’m still that woman from before the plane crash… for that reason, I’ve taken up an avoidant att.i.tude this whole time.
Seeing the elegant person’s face in the mirror is sporting some stubble, I – despite having past experience and mental preparations – still shudder in disgust. To speak the truth regarding this current body and its lack of b.o.o.bs, I can pretend that I had a mastectomy done, and that extra part is just a benign tumor. Zhang Qinglian’s Adam’s Apple also isn’t very distinct, it’s just that the facial hair is… when I look at it I feel gross. I nearly threw up the first time I did. That’s why I’ve always immediately called for Hong Feng or Jinzi to get a blade and help me shave it clean off.
I’m not shaving today, though.
We always have to face reality. I want to be stronger, more independent, and more unfettered. I’ll have to accept everything about the current situation.
Starting from today onwards, I no longer want to flee from anything. I have to dilute my completely unreasonable attachment to Jinzi bit by bit, and no longer allow myself to lose most of my rationality as soon as I come across something about him.
However, my not shaving was actually a stroke of luck, because Court that morning was filled with officials that looked nothing less than bedraggled, their eyes bloodshot. Regardless of whether it’s for real or an act, they all ill.u.s.trate that they were worried about the state of the nation and couldn’t sleep at night. For that reason, my unconventional appearance accidentally fit right into the situation.
I didn’t expect that the first one to rush to speak would be the Waiqi. Li Minguo very self-consciously and practically took out two confidential letters and said, “This servant received some things urgent last night. They say that Guo Zhengtong had exaggerated the river’s situation, and the flood is actually not that much of an emergency.” He pa.s.sed the letters around to the major officials to look at.
Guo Zhengtong is the official who sent the palace report yesterday. He’s Lingyang’s governor, and nine of the thirteen counties that flooded this time are under his jurisdiction. He was born of Jiangnan landowners who were already on the decline, was a palace graduate of the same year as Zhou Zizhu, and could be considered a student of Gu Yunzhi. He’s been a local official since the get-go. It’s said that his official’s voice is superb, yet this rarity is simultaneously considered to be of low status.
Whether it’s from his family background or relationships, this person is doubtlessly of the Qingliu Party.
The Waiqi and Qingliu were able to unite quite well against me some time ago, but since I’ve repeatedly failed to take any big actions, they’ve started to somewhat turn against each other. It’s especially apparent in their lower-ranking members working in outside provinces, as it’s easier for them to clash due to discrepancies in behavior and ways of doing things. These two confidential letters are from senior officials of neighboring areas of government, and are presumably people who generally have quite a bit of qualms with Guo Zhengtong.
The first of the two letters wasn’t too bad, merely saying that the tides were resolving themselves. The other is a little vicious, saying that Guo Zhengtong was exaggerating and lied about the crisis with the intent to cheat supplies out of the Court so that he can try to please the citizens, planting himself into their hearts; that his intentions are treacherous, he has a criminal’s mind, and so on.
These words would be the most offensive taboo towards the Emperor, but he’s luckily still young, so the ones who decide will be us few Guardian Ministers [1] appointed posthumously by the former Emperor. The Qingliu party began to jump up from Gu Yunzhi’s side one by one to launch a heated argument with the Waiqi. They quote the cla.s.sics and hurl insults at each other, and they couldn’t be farther from the situation at hand.
I could also be considered knowledgeable and experienced, and this flooding is urgent as such, yet they’re still wasting saliva here. This is really… the peak of perfection.
Due to us three serving Guardian Ministers normal policy-making being that the minority will follow what the majority decides, it won’t be long before someone asks me for my opinion. Saying that the minority obeys the majority is, of course, not entirely correct. For example, if the other two agree on a matter but I object, they can make a government decree despite my wishes. I can threaten them and make a fuss, then I can get my own party’s officials to refuse to boycott and cause a ruckus about it, therefore throwing the Court’s politics into disarray. There’ll be numerous restrictions, and carrying out that decree won’t be very effective.
“What does Sir Zhang think?” An old fox of the Zhongli party, the Minister of Appointments, asked me.
I deliberately cleared my throat, speaking calmly. “The flooding is a matter of great importance. Tens of thousands of citizens’ lives are threatened in the interim. This is not for show, and cannot be neglected. It doesn’t matter who’s right and who’s wrong for the time being. In this lowly official’s humble opinion, I would rather be wrong in believing than wrong in not believing.”
The Qingliu didn’t expect that I would suddenly come out and speak up for them, causing pleasant surprise. Zhou Zizhu looks at me thoughtfully. Gu Yunzhi declares, “Since Sir Zhang also says so, there will be no further objection to this matter. If it’s as urgent as a fire would be, then aid of money and provisions will be released immediately.”
Ah, those are the words I’ve been waiting for.
Giving myself an upright appearance, I speak to Gu Yunzhi in a relaxed manner. “Sir Gu, may I ask where those are coming from?”
Gu Yunzhi stared. “The state treasury and government storehouse, of course.”
I laugh coldly. “Chunxi, why don’t you come up and tell everyone how much money is said to be kept in the treasury at present?”
Liu Chunxi stepped forward, tone clear. “4,713,984 liang.”
“And how much is actually still in the bank?”
“It was still in the millions at the beginning of the year. With both military incidents this spring, the true amount of liang is currently 113,452.”
The whole place filled with alarm when this was said. Leaving aside the huge discrepancy between the accounts and reality, for such a grand country to only have a little over a hundred-thousand liang in the bank is what’s really horrifying. There isn’t enough to provide disaster relief today, and furthermore, though Shao Qing has returned, w.a.n.g Hejing is still warring in the Southwest. We’re actually facing a huge financial crisis.
Not waiting for someone else to talk, I ask again, “Where did all that money go?”
Liu Chunxi spoke firmly, but with careful respect. “Answering Sir Zhang, leaving out the 300,000 liang in taxes that Lingnan failed to turn in last year, it’s entirely gone to private loans from officials of every division.”
The Court was like a beehive, starting to fill with incessant buzzing as all the bees whispered.
I fake-coughed a few times again. “Should this Court’s officials have an urgent matter, taking private loans from the bank is not a big deal. It’s only that the national treasury is now empty, leaving us unable to fund the military and relief effort. If any of you have borrowed silver from the Ministry of Revenue, please pay them back in full within three days. If not, it will cause this important event to be delayed, and I’m afraid no one would like to shoulder that blame.”
The bees quieted down in an instant. No one in the Court said a word.
To pay back debts owed is a matter of course that n.o.body would argue against; the difficulty of this undertaking isn’t there, but in the actual implementation of this demand. Just look at what happened when Yongzheng cowed the Princes into paying their dues. [2] Fortunately, there’s not likely to be any Princes or old figures that served Kangxi causing a disturbance, but this situation has its own troubles.
My first step has finally been taken.
After Court, Old Gao invited me to the Everfragrant House again. I knew that he wanted to request support from me for something, so I followed him.
The interior decoration of the House today is completely different from the tasteful and refined little place it had originally been, the majority of it having taken a lavish route. The room that came with our bundle is of an exotic Persian style.
There’s a big red woolen rug, a gilded low table inlaid with jade, a dense fragrance of frankincense and myrrh, brightly-colored hanging curtains, and a few Persian or Arabian songstresses that are playing instruments, every one of them draped in gauze, covered head to toe in precious jewelry and revealing clothes.
We took our seats on the ground, facing quite a bit of exotic fruits like grapes, cantaloupe, and so on, as well as a whole roasted lamb. Lan Guan is extremely busy at the moment, but still rushed over to show his face. My G.o.dson said to him, “Xiao Lan, you go do what you have to do first, Sir Zhang and I have an important matter to discuss. You can bring people over after half a shichen. We haven’t seen Xiao Yun in quite a while.”
Lan Guan smiled and agreed politely, said a bunch of social niceties, took all the songstresses and maids out, and considerately covered up the doorway.
Seeing that they’d left, Old Gao itched to look at me with a face full of tears. “Father Sir, please save your son’s life.”
I feign astonishment. “Why for, Linxi?”
Old Gao is completely dismayed. “The investigation of the a.s.sa.s.sination attempt on His Majesty has fallen to this child and the Nine Gates Commanders, with the ten-day limit… though this child has sent a lot of experts, they’ve all been unable to find a single clue…”
I mumbled to myself, then called for Old Tian and Zhu to come in. “This matter must have someone with unusual finesse and connections behind the scenes. The scope of this is not small…” Thinking about it, I feel that I still need Old Tian to keep watch over the center of my gunpowder development. I said to Old Zhu, “You’re going to be going on a trip. You must take caution, and don’t alert the enemy by any means. Go to the accounts room and take 3,000 liang first, then set off that day or the day after.”
Old Zhu accepted the order and went.
Old Tian withdrew to stand guard outside the room.
Gao Yushu appears to hold no hope for Old Zhu, still looking very dispirited. Odd. Was he wanting to borrow Jinzi from me?
I smiled and consoled him. “Don’t worry, Linxi. I’ll speak on your behalf and get the time limit extended.”
Old Gao turned his worry to joy, thanking me repeatedly.
I speak again. “Linxi, it seems like you’ve loaned a total of 80,000 liang from the Ministry of Revenue?”
Old Gao is a wise man, replying immediately, “This child will pay it back in full tomorrow.”
I probe, “Linxi, do others not know if I still don’t know? Have you ever been lacking for a trifling few thousands of liang? Why were you wanting to get a loan?”
Old Gao is a bit embara.s.sed. “Father Sir, this matter has been concealed from other, but will not be concealed from you. Li Guozhang was the first to do this two years ago, borrowing 300,000 liang from the treasury to use for usury, and earning a lot this way. Many officials secretly followed in his footsteps. This child had a moment of itching in his heart and borrow 80,000, but found having to wait such a long time to be dull, and simply neglected to return it.”
I laughed sarcastically. “So that’s how it is.”
I had said that Li Minguo must have borrowed a lot of money, as back in the day when the Empress return to her paternal family, he had made a temporary imperial courtyard for her visit, yet the Li family’s finances didn’t go into the red.
In any case, the Li family must be forced to repay their debt.
We’ve just barely finished our conversation on this side when Lan Guan and Yuan Qingyun come in. That guy is still that prissy, nose-in-the-air sort, his smile unpleasant.
I secretly think that the one of the very likely reasons he’s so popular is greatly related to all the skin contact. Seeing the more flattering, fawning, tender, charming, mellow, and eager-to-please type like Lan Guan, how else would the polar opposite Yuan Qingyun have any appeal?
He leisurely sits at my side like before, and leisurely pulls me into his embrace like before. His hand stroked my waist, words tantalizing.
This overall scene gives me a sense of déjà vu, but… I can cope with it a lot better than the first time. I’ve corrupted unwittingly, indeed.
After three rounds of wine, Old Gao and Lan Guan have become somewhat unrestrained, doing some things that inevitably make my face secretly red and heart secretly beat when I see.
Yuan Qingyun’s face gently caressed my own, his slightly alcohol-tinged breath replacing the my surrounding oxygen supply, messing with my own bit of intoxication, making my heart beat a little faster.
“Sir,” he almost completely held me in his arms, eyes lowered, looking down on me with a smile, using his drawn-out, honey-silk cadence to speak, “You said some time ago that you’d find me to try things out. Qingyun leaned against the doorway every day, suffering in the wait, yet he didn’t see you… could it be that you’re a deserter, Sir, and want to fall back?”
I don’t know what happened in this moment, either. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe I’d been provoked by certain things. I was fully aware that it was only a superficial means to entice me, yet I still smiled haughtily and said, “To be labelled a deserter is something a man cannot allow. Is Qingyun trying to provoke me? That being so, I’ll stay here with you over the night.”
Yuan Qingyun probably hadn’t antic.i.p.ated that I’d say that, as he stared a bit before a lazy grin slowly, slowly bloomed on his face. He says without rush, “Qingyun will tidy up the bed for your stay.”
*side-eyes ZQL*
[1] 顾命大臣 – lit. “major minister appointed by posthumous imperial edict”. Meant to be making decisions for the Emperor until he’s of age, hence the translated name.
[2] Emperor Yongzheng was good to the citizenry, less so to wealthy officials, even less so to his own brothers. He was fond of seizing their a.s.sets and exiling them. Yunsi is a good example. Otherwise I have zero idea what’s being said here because my knowledge of Chinese history is b a d