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I brought Hong Feng, Xiao Lu, and Jinfeng when I left with Guo Zhengtong to the hardest-hit area: Lingyang.
I hadn’t wanted to bring the two children to such a dangerous place, but they refused to stay, and Jinfeng especially. Right as I was going to sleep he ran over to where I was and dawdled around for a long time, still glaring at me for equally as long and looking like he was steaming mad. I genuinely lost my patience asked him what he was doing, then he twisted his head away and said to me, “I have to keep an eye on you just in case you take advantage of my brother not being here to run away, or if you die for some reason and he can’t take revenge when he comes back.” Helpless, I let him come with me. If Jinzi was here, he’d probably hope that I’d keep him nearby to look after him, right?
The time for Guo Zhengtong’s appointment was the beginning of maoshi (5-7AM), the first glimmer of sunlight in the day, and we had to rush south of the city to meet up with him. Zhou Zizhu and the rest saw us off from the entrance of the Governor’s residence. We brought along three horses for four people, which are my two surviving piebald horses and Hearth. Jinfeng and Xiao Lu are still small-bodied, so they’ll ride together. There is naturally yet another debriefing upon our departure.
Many of the hungry people are sleeping along the street and under eaves in their clothes. It’s midsummer, but there’s still a bit of chilliness in the morning. Some children are sleeping soundly in their mothers’ arms, and some adults were awoken by our noise, unconsciously opening their bleary eyes and looking around. Fearing that the horse’s hoofbeats would disturb them, I hint for Hong Feng and the rest to come down from their horse and carefully lead them to an area without many people.
In another two months, it’ll be cold out. If these people aren’t settled down by then, or allowed to return to their native land and rebuild their homes, they’ll be displaced and homeless, both freezing and hungry, selling their sons and daughters, with countless people’s situations being utterly unbearable. Also, their farmland needs money to be repaired, yet this years’ harvest isn’t something one can expect; how much food needs to be made for them to make it to next year?
I don’t think there’s any sort of double or triple harvesting here in the North. I don’t know what crops are here for me to alternate. I’ll have to ask around, and if I can, I need to find some quick-growing grains and fruits, not sticking to just sweet potatoes and such. I can get something a little better.
There’s endless inconveniences here, obviously.
I think carefully as I walk silently. There’s been too many things to think about recently. Ah, it’s so tiring.
Nothing was said as we left the city. Guo Zhengtong was south of the city because he wasn’t staying in the Governor’s home, instead staying in a relay station outside. I hadn’t been to this place yet, and today I’ve learned that the station was ruined by something, the inside overflowing with victims.
Speaking of Guo Zhengtong’s method of transportation, I’m stupefied by that as well: it’s a worn-down ox cart. There’s a seventeen or eighteen year old young man next to the cart of similar age to Jinzi, yet comparing their appearances is like distinguishing between clouds and dirt. Like his master, he’s ugly-looking with acne all over his face, and has the distinct lack of coordination that comes with adolescence, not knowing where to put his big hands and feet. The way he’s dressed is also worn-down, somewhere between being a student and a domestic, as he’s probably holding both jobs simultaneously.
“Could Sir Guo not find a horse?” I ask him.
He bowed his head. “I can’t look for one at the moment.”
“The carts of grain? Where are they?”
“Because your horse is fast, Sir, they were urged to start off in advance at midnight.”
I paused, gazing at him as I say word by word, “My horse may be quick, but is your ox cart quicker?” That cueball Ah-San’s patterned mule was already weird enough. I don’t believe at all that this worn-down ox cart could go a thousand li in a day.
Guo Zhengtong’s face went red. “This lowly official is stupid,” he goes on to say.
I sighed. “If you don’t have one, can’t you just get a horse from the Governor’s place? Even if you don’t like each other, you can meet with Sir Zhou instead.”
Guo Zhengtong being a yes-man, I have no choice but to order Xiao Lu and Jinfeng to get off their horse to free one up for him to ride, then have Hong Feng and I bring one child with us each.
Xiao Lu and Jinfeng dismounted. Jinfeng, as a matter of course, looked at Hong Feng, then came straight to me. Seeing his choice, Xiao Lu went over to Hong Feng of his own accord. She pulled him up on the horse and sat him in front of her.
I follow suit and reach a hand out to him. He huffed, avoided it, and muttered, “I’m not a kid. I don’t need to sit in front on you on a horse.” Saying that, he jumped up by himself onto Hearth’s back, putting his arms around my waist and settling in behind me. Hearth very unhappily shifted its hooves.
There isn’t a whole lot of s.p.a.ce on the saddle, hence Jinfeng sticking close to me and holding onto my waist. This kid is thirteen and quite tall, his shoulders generally even with mine, and completely different from the childlike Xiao Lu. Him holding me so close, and sharing some resemblance with Jinzi, really… really feels wrong.
I secretly curse at myself for surely missing Jinzi too much recently, my longing not being fulfilled sending my hormones out of wack and making me overthink. How can I think so of a child? Promptly restraining my thoughts, I don’t think about it any longer.
Guo Zhengtong’s riding skills are subpar, and he was only able to mount the horse with help from his domestic/bookboy. He whispers to the bookboy to take his ox cart and slowly come along, then after spending a long time fishing around in his lapels, he shakily fished out a small bit of money and handed it to the boy, in preparation of a time he might need it.
Thus we started to hurry on.
The horses are all superior goods, but they have a load of two people, and this road is rather uneven, so they don’t go as fast. There’s only a day’s distance between Lingyang and Xinyang, but we didn’t catch up with the food team until the beginning of wushi (11AM-1PM).
A hasty journey under the huge sun really isn’t how someone should live their life. I very quickly sweat through my shirts, and unfortunately, there was also a stove-like creature clinging tight to me, making me light-headed as I register I’m not far from heatstroke. He might have brought some kind of hard jade jewelry, as it’s pressing against me very painfully. To say that a thirteen-year-old kid, particularly Jinfeng, would think like that towards me is absolutely inconceivable to me, but I myself wasn’t a pure child who didn’t know the facts of life. The position of what’s pressed pressed against me is very coincidental and I can’t not think about it.
A man’s physical instinct is such an unavoidable and irritating thing.
I finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Jinfeng, scoot back a bit. It’s too hot!”
Jinfeng mumbled something again, but he obediently shifted back a little, a trace of a gap appearing between the close fit of my back and his chest. Allowed to get a bit of a cool breeze at last, I think of sighing with comfort.
Jinfeng let go of my waist and continued to move back, then causing me to fear that if he didn’t grab hold of me he’d lose his seating and fall off the horse. I quickly s.n.a.t.c.hed his wrist. “Don’t go to far, you could get thrown off any moment!”
He got mad. “You make me go back one second and go up the next, what do you actually want?”
I’m also losing my cool. “That’s why you should’ve sat in front of me, then this wouldn’t be happening!” If this punk was in front, I’m fully certain I wouldn’t be having the slightest bit of delusion, just like how the little Emperor was sitting before me.
Hong Feng probably noticed the potential for us to get into a big fight and quickly spoke up. “Are you tired, Sir? Let’s find some shade to take a break in, eat a bit, and then keep going, okay?”
As I heard her say that I really did feel a bit hungry, so I agreed. However, where would that shady and cool area be? It seems like the flood’s washed everything away here. There’s not many trees remaining, and those that are have had all their bark and leaves peeled off, with not a trace of human habitation to be seen.
We barely managed to find some under a tall rock, and dismounted to rest.
Hong Feng pa.s.ses me a waterskin. I down two gulps as she takes a kerchief to wipe my sweat for me. I hand the waterskin to Xiao Lu and ask her, “What is there to eat?”
Hong Feng took out a small oil-paper bundle, and inside was five finger-sized hibiscus crisps. I stop and stare. “It’s these?”
She was very embarra.s.sed. “I had thought that the official of the lower county would arrange for food and drink, but I feared that you were not yet recovered from your illness, Sir, and couldn’t eat rough food, so I just brought a few bites that you love to eat…” She shot a glance at Guo Zhengtong.
Guo Zhengtong was also sweating bullets, taking his sleeve and haphazardly wiping it off. Hearing what Hong Feng had said, he immediately froze up. “This… this lowly official had corn cakes made, but he then… left them behind…” He thusly gestured behind himself.
I have no words. Seeing that his mouth is dry, I know that he must not have even brought water. As Xiao Lu and Jinfeng had drunk their fill, I go on to say, “Hurry and drink some water, Hong Feng. Aren’t you thirsty?”
She was surprised, taking the waterskin Xiao Lu handed over and having a few gulps. I urged her to drink a bit more, then had a few more sips myself, shaking the remaining half-skin of water at Guo Zhengtong. “Does Sir Guo want water?”
“Many thanks, Sir,” he said, taking it and messily downing it in one breath.
I’m not mysophobic, but I don’t touch water that’s been touched by an unfamiliar person, especially one that’s so wretched-looking. The two kids I don’t care about, but Hong Feng is a woman, and nominally my woman, so she can no longer touch the water Guo Zhengtong drank from. But he was thirsty, and I can’t have him not drink, anyhow.
The hibiscus crisps happened to be the right number for each person to get a piece, the image of everyone holding a tiny pastry very comical. I look at the small piece in my own hand and decide to divide it into as many bites as possible, chewing it 60 times or more every mouthful. It’s easy to produce the feeling of a full stomach this way, as this is my matchless magic weapon/secret skill that I refined on the endless trek of losing weight that I had before.
I carefully bit off a small piece, the familiar sweet taste very moving. Unfortunately, hibiscus cakes melt in your mouth, so I didn’t even get to chew it twice before I failed. Hungrier, I took another small bite, and at that time I saw Jinfeng had already eaten his in one bite and just looked utterly dissatisfied. I sighed, putting the greater part of my piece to the corner of his mouth.
He looked at me skeptically. I sighed again, saying, “Just eat it!” Jinfeng opened his mouth, his face suspected to be red.
Watching him use one bite to eat the crisp I had meticulously planned to eat in seven or eight bites makes me terribly distressed. The brat then wiped his mouth and said, “It’s too sweet and soft, it’s not comfortable to eat.”
Guo Zhentong at the side, who had eaten it in two bites, actually nodded in agreement.
I’m beyond mad.
The sad lunch party ended in failure and we had to hurry on again. When we needed to get back on the horse, Jinfeng and I were still a bit awkward about what happened before and were unable to agree on who was sitting in the front or back. Just as I stiffened up and considered having him and Xiao Lu switch, a horse was suddenly seen far away with dust kicking up all around it.
When it was close enough for me to see, I immediately became more rigid, as it was that guy whose soul still hadn’t scattered yet, Yuan Qingyun. All I could see was him ecstatically waving at me, shouting out in full spirits. “Qinglian!”