Quality Street

Chapter 13

MISS SUSAN. Please not to do that.

CHARLOTTE (_implying that_ MISS SUSAN _will be responsible for her early death_). My chest is weak. I shall sit among the dew.

MISS SUSAN. Charlotte, you terrify me. At least, please to put this cloak about your shoulders. Nay, my dear, allow me.

(_She puts a cloak around_ CHARLOTTE, _who departs vindictively for the shrubbery. She will not find_ LIVVY _there, however, for next moment_ MISS PHOEBE _darts in from the back._)

PHOEBE (_in a gay whisper_). Susan, another offer [Transcriber"s note: officer?] --Major Linkwater--rotund man, black whiskers, fierce expression; he has rushed away to destroy himself.



(_We have been unable to find any record of the Major"s tragic end._)

AN OLD SOLDIER (_looking up from a card table, whence he has heard the raging of_ BLADES). Miss Livvy, ma"am, what is this about the moon?

(PHOEBE _smiles roguishly._)

PHOEBE (_looking about her_). I want my cloak, Aunt Susan.

MISS SUSAN. I have just lent it to poor Charlotte Parratt.

PHOEBE. Oh, auntie!

OLD SOLDIER. And now Miss Livvy cannot go into the shrubbery to see the moon; and she is so fond of the moon!

(MISS PHOEBE _screws her nose at him merrily, and darts back to the dance, but she has left a defender behind her._)

A GALLANT (_whose name we have not succeeded in discovering_). Am I to understand, sir, that you are intimating disparagement of the moon? If a certain female has been graciously pleased to signify approval of that orb, any slight cast upon the moon, sir, I shall regard as a personal affront.

OLD SOLDIER. Hoity-toity.

(_But he rises, and they face each other, as_ MISS SUSAN _feels, for battle. She is about to rush between their undrawn swords when there is a commotion outside; a crowd gathers and opens to allow some officers to a.s.sist a fainting woman into the tent. It is_ MISS PHOEBE, _and_ MISS SUSAN _with a cry goes on her knees beside her. The tent has filled with the sympathetic and inquisitive, but_ CAPTAIN BROWN, _as a physician, takes command, and by his order they retire. He finds difficulty in bringing the sufferer to, and gets little help from_ MISS SUSAN, _who can only call upon_ MISS PHOEBE _by name._)

VALENTINE. Nay, Miss Susan, "tis useless calling for Miss Phoebe.

"Tis my fault; I should not have permitted Miss Livvy to dance so immoderately. Why do they delay with the cordial?

(_He goes to the back to close the opening, and while he is doing so the incomprehensible_ MISS PHOEBE _seizes the opportunity to sit up on her couch of chairs, waggle her finger at_ MISS SUSAN, _and sign darkly that she is about to make a genteel recovery._)

PHOEBE. Where am I? Is that you, Aunt Susan? What has happened?

VALENTINE (_returning_). Nay, you must recline, Miss Livvy. You fainted. You have over-fatigued yourself.

PHOEBE. I remember.

(BLADES _enters with the cordial._)

VALENTINE. You will sip this cordial.

BLADES. By your leave, sir.

(_He hands it to_ PHOEBE _himself._)

VALENTINE. She is in restored looks already, Miss Susan.

PHOEBE. I am quite recovered. Perhaps if you were to leave me now with my excellent aunt----

VALENTINE. Be off with you, apple cheeks.

BLADES. Sir, I will suffer no reference to my complexion; and, if I mistake not, this charming lady was addressing you.

PHOEBE. If you please, both of you. (_They retire together, and no sooner have they gone than_ MISS PHOEBE _leaps from the couch, her eyes sparkling. She presses the cordial on_ MISS SUSAN.) Nay, drink it, Susan. I left it for you on purpose. I have such awful information to impart. Drink. (MISS SUSAN _drinks tremblingly and then the bolt is fired._) Susan, Miss Henrietta and Miss f.a.n.n.y are here!

MISS SUSAN. Phoebe!

PHOEBE. Suddenly my eyes lighted on them. At once I slipped to the ground.

MISS SUSAN. You think they did not see you?

PHOEBE. I am sure of it. They talked for a moment to Ensign Blades, and then turned and seemed to be going towards the shrubbery.

MISS SUSAN. He had heard that you were there with Captain Brown. He must have told them.

PHOEBE. I was not. But oh, sister, I am sure they suspect, else why should they be here? They never frequent b.a.l.l.s.

MISS SUSAN. They have suspected for a week, ever since they saw you in your veil, Phoebe, on the night of the first dance. How could they but suspect, when they have visited us every day since then and we have always pretended that Livvy was gone out.

PHOEBE. Should they see my face it will be idle to attempt to deceive them.

MISS SUSAN. Idle indeed; Phoebe, the scandal! You--a schoolmistress!

PHOEBE. That is it, sister. A little happiness has gone to my head like strong waters.

(_She is very restless and troubled._)

MISS SUSAN. My dear, stand still, and think.

PHOEBE. I dare not, I cannot. Oh, Susan, if they see me we need not open school again.

MISS SUSAN. We shall starve.

PHOEBE (_pa.s.sionately_). This horrid, forward, flirting, heartless, hateful little toad of a Livvy.

MISS SUSAN. Brother James"s daughter, as we call her!

PHOEBE. "Tis all James"s fault.

MISS SUSAN. Sister, when you know that James has no daughter!

PHOEBE. If he had really had one, think you I could have been so wicked as to personate her? Susan, I know not what I am saying, but you know who it is that has turned me into this wild creature.

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