Quality Street

Chapter 2

SERGEANT. The luck, ma"am, is that a gentleman of the town has enlisted. That gave them the push forward.

(MISS SUSAN _is excited._)

PHOEBE. A gentleman of this town enlisted? (_Eagerly_) Sergeant, who?

SERGEANT. Nay, ma"am, I think it be a secret as yet.

PHOEBE. But a gentleman! "Tis the most amazing, exciting thing.



Sergeant, be so obliging.

SERGEANT. Nay, ma"am, I can"t.

MISS SUSAN (_at door, carried away by excitement_). But you must, you must!

SERGEANT (_turning to the door_). You see, ma"am--

(_The door is hurriedly closed._)

PHOEBE (_ashamed_). Sergeant, I have not been saying the things I meant to say to you. Will you please excuse my turning you out of the house somewhat violently.

SERGEANT. I am used to it, ma"am.

PHOEBE. I won"t really hurt you.

SERGEANT. Thank you kindly, ma"am.

PHOEBE (_observing the bedroom door opening a little, and speaking in a loud voice_). I protest, sir; we shall permit no followers in this house. Should I discover you in my kitchen again I shall pitch you out--neck and crop. Begone, sir.

(_The_ SERGEANT _retires affably. All the ladies except_ MISS HENRIETTA _come out, admiring_ PHOEBE. _The_ WILLOUGHBYS _are attired for their journey across the street._)

MISS WILLOUGHBY. Miss Phoebe, we could not but admire you.

(PHOEBE, _alas, knows that she is not admirable._)

PHOEBE. But the gentleman recruit?

MISS SUSAN. Perhaps they will know who he is at the woollen-drapers.

MISS f.a.n.n.y. Let us inquire.

(_But before they go_ MISS WILLOUGHBY _has a duty to perform._)

MISS WILLOUGHBY. I wish to apologise. Miss Phoebe, you are a dear, good girl. If I have made remarks about her ringlets, Susan, it was jealousy. (PHOEBE _and_ MISS SUSAN _wish to embrace her, but she is not in the mood for it._) Come, sister.

MISS f.a.n.n.y (_the dear woman that she is_). Phoebe, dear, I wish you very happy.

(_PHOEBE presses her hand._)

MISS HENRIETTA (_entering, and not to be outdone_). Miss Phoebe, I give you joy.

(_The three ladies go, the two younger ones a little tearfully, and we see them pa.s.s the window._)

PHOEBE (_pained_). Susan, you have been talking to them about V. B.

MISS SUSAN. I could not help it. (_Eagerly_) Now, Phoebe, what is it you have to tell me?

PHOEBE (_in a low voice_). Dear, I think it is too holy to speak of.

MISS SUSAN. To your sister?

PHOEBE. Susan, as you know, I was sitting with an unhappy woman whose husband has fallen in the war. When I came out of the cottage he was pa.s.sing.

MISS SUSAN. Yes?

PHOEBE. He offered me his escort. At first he was very silent--as he has often been of late.

MISS SUSAN. _We_ know why.

PHOEBE. Please not to say that I know why. Suddenly he stopped and swung his cane. You know how gallantly he swings his cane.

MISS SUSAN. Yes, indeed.

PHOEBE. He said: "I have something I am wishful to tell you, Miss Phoebe; perhaps you can guess what it is."

MISS SUSAN. Go on!

PHOEBE. To say I could guess, sister, would have been unladylike. I said: "Please not to tell me in the public thoroughfare"; to which he instantly replied: "Then I shall call and tell you this afternoon."

MISS SUSAN. Phoebe!

(_They are interrupted by the entrance of_ PATTY _with tea. They see that she has brought three cups, and know that this is her impertinent way of implying that mistresses, as well as maids, may have a "follower." When she has gone they smile at the daring of the woman, and sit down to tea._)

PHOEBE. Susan, to think that it has all happened in a single year.

MISS SUSAN. Such a genteel competency as he can offer; such a desirable establishment.

PHOEBE. I had no thought of that, dear. I was recalling our first meeting at Mrs. Fotheringay"s quadrille party.

MISS SUSAN. We had quite forgotten that our respected local physician was growing elderly.

PHOEBE. Until he said: "Allow me to present my new partner, Mr.

Valentine Brown."

MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, do you remember how at the tea-table he facetiously pa.s.sed the cake-basket with nothing in it!

PHOEBE. He was so amusing from the first. I am thankful, Susan, that I too have a sense of humour. I am exceedingly funny at times; am I not, Susan?

MISS SUSAN. Yes, indeed. But he sees humour in the most unexpected things. I say something so ordinary about loving, for instance, to have everything either blue or white in this room, and I know not why he laughs, but it makes me feel quite witty.

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