_I_ don"t believe there"s the like of him left in it."
"He had been a major a good while, hadn"t be, grandpa?"
"Yes. It was just after he was made captain that he went to Albany, and there he saw your mother. She and her sister, your aunt Lucy, were wards of the patroon. I was in Albany, in the legislature, that winter, and I knew them both very well; but your aunt Lucy had been married some years before. She was staying there that winter without her husband ? he was abroad somewhere."
Fleda was no stranger to these details, and had learned long ago what was meant by "wards" and "the patroon."
"Your father was made a major some years afterwards," Mr.
Ringgan went on, "for his fine behaviour out here at the West ? what"s the name of the place? ? I forget it just now ?
fighting the Indians. There never was anything finer done."
"He was brave, wasn"t he, grandpa?"
"Brave! ? he had a heart of iron sometimes, for as soft as it was at others. And he had an eye, when he was roused, that I never saw anything that would stand against. But your father had a better sort of courage than the common sort ? he had enough of _that_ ? but this is a rarer thing ? he never was afraid to do what in his conscience he thought was right.
Moral courage I call it, and it is one of the very n.o.blest qualities a man can have."
"That"s a kind of courage a woman may have," raid Fleda.
"Yes ? you may have that; and I guess it"s the only kind of courage you"ll ever be troubled with," said her grandfather, looking laughingly at her. "However, any man may walk up to the cannon"s mouth, but it is only one here and there that will walk out against men"s opinions because he thinks it is right. That was one of the things I admired most in your father."
"Didn"t my mother have it too?" said Fleda.
"I don"t know ? she had about everything that was good. A sweet pretty creature she was as ever I saw."
"Was she like aunt Lucy?"
"No, not much. She was a deal handsomer than your aunt is or ever could have been. She was the handsomest woman, I think, that ever I set eyes upon; and a sweet, gentle, lovely creature. _You_"ll never match her," said Mr. Ringgan, with a curious twist of his head and sly laughing twist of his eyes at Fleda; ? "you may be as _good_ as she was, but you"ll never be as good-looking."
Fleda laughed, nowise displeased.
"You"ve got her hazel eyes though," remarked Mr. Ringgan, after a minute or two, viewing his little grand-daughter with a sufficiently satisfied expression of countenance.
"Grandpa," said she, "don"t you think Mr. Carleton has handsome eyes?"
"Mr. Carleton? ? hum ? I don"t know; I didn"t look at his eyes. A very well-looking young man though ? very gentlemanly too."
Fleda had heard all this and much more about her parents some dozens of times before; but she and her grandfather were never tired of going it over. If the conversation that recalled his lost treasures had of necessity a character of sadness and tenderness, it yet bespoke not more regret that he had lost them than exulting pride and delight in what they had been, ?
perhaps not so much. And Fleda delighted to go back and feed her imagination with stories of the mother whom she could not remember, and of the father whose fair bright image stood in her memory as the embodiment of all that is high and n.o.ble and pure. A kind of guardian angel that image was to little Fleda.
These ideal likenesses of her father and mother, the one drawn from history and recollection, the other from history only, had been her preservative from all the untoward influences and unfortunate examples which had surrounded her since her father"s death, some three or four years before, had left her almost alone in her grandfather"s house. They had created in her mind a standard of the true and beautiful in character, which nothing she saw around her, after, of course, her grandfather and one other exception, seemed at all to meet; and partly from her own innate fineness of nature, and partly from this pure ideal always present with her, she had shrunk almost instinctively from the few varieties of human nature the country-side presented to her, and was in fact a very isolated little being, living in a world of her own, and clinging with all her strong out-goings of affection to her grandfather only; granting to but one other person any considerable share in her regard or esteem. Little Fleda was not in the least misanthropical; she gave her kindly sympathies to all who came in her way on whom they could possibly be bestowed; but these people were nothing to her; her spirit fell off from them, even in their presence; there was no affinity. She was in truth what her grandfather had affirmed of her father, made of different stuff from the rest of the world. There was no tincture of pride in all this; there was no conscious feeling of superiority; she could merely have told you that she did not care to hear these people talk, that she did not love to be with them; though she _would_ have said so to no earthly creature but her grandfather, if even to him.
"It must be pleasant," said Fleda, after looking for some minutes thoughtfully into the fire, ? "it must be a pleasant thing to have a father and mother."
"Yes, dear!" said her grandfather, sighing, ? "you have lost a great deal! But there is your aunt Lucy ? you are not dependent altogether on me."
"Oh, grandpa!" said the little girl, laying one hand again pleadingly on his knee; ? "I didn"t mean ? I mean ? I was speaking in general ? I wasn"t thinking of myself in particular."
"I know, dear!" said he, as before taking the little hand in his own, and moving it softly up and down on his knee. But the action was sad, and there was the same look of sorrowful stern anxiety. Fleda got up and put her arm over his shoulder, speaking from a heart filled too full.
"I don"t want aunt Lucy ? I don"t care about aunt Lucy, I don"t want anything but you, grandpa. I wish you wouldn"t talk so."
"Ah well, dear," said he, without looking at her, ? he couldn"t bear to look at her, ? "it"s well it is so. I sha"n"t last a great while ? it isn"t likely ? and I am glad to know there is some one you can fall back upon when I am gone."
Fleda"s next words were scarce audible, but they contained a reproach to him for speaking so.
"We may as well look at it, dear," said he, gravely; "it must come to that ?- sooner or later ? but you mustn"t distress yourself about it beforehand. Don"t cry ? don"t dear!" said he, tenderly kissing her. "I didn"t mean to trouble you so.
There ? there ? look up, dear ? let"s take the good we have and be thankful for it. G.o.d will arrange the rest, in his own good way. Fleda! ? I wouldn"t have said a word if I had thought it would have worried you so."
He would not indeed. But he had spoken as men so often speak, out of the depths of their own pa.s.sion or bitterness, forgetting that they are wringing the chords of a delicate harp, and not knowing what mischief they have done till they find the instrument all out of tune, ? more often not knowing it ever. It is pity, ? for how frequently a discord is left that jars all life long; and how much more frequently still the harp, though retaining its sweetness and truth of tone to the end, is gradually unstrung.
Poor Fleda could hardly hold up her head for a long time, and recalling bitterly her unlucky innocent remark which had led to all this trouble, she almost made up her mind, with a certain heroine of Miss Edgeworth"s, that "it is best never to mention things". Mr. Ringgan, now thoroughly alive to the wounds he had been inflicting, held his little pet in his arms, pillowed her head on his breast, and by every tender and soothing action and word endeavoured to undo what he had done.
And after a while the agony was over, the wet eyelashes were lifted up, and the meek sorrowful little face lay quietly upon Mr. Ringgan"s breast, gazing out into the fire as gravely as if the panorama of life were there. She little heeded at first her grandfather"s cheering talk, she knew it was for a purpose.
"Aint it most time for you to go to bed?" whispered Mr.
Ringgan, when he thought the purpose was effected.
"Shall I tell Cynthy to get you your milk, grandpa?" said the little girl, rousing herself.
"Yes dear. ? Stop, ? what if you and me were to have some roast apples? ? wouldn"t you like it?"
"Well ? yes, I should, grandpa," said Fleda, understanding perfectly why he wished it, and wishing it herself for that same reason and no other.
"Cynthy, let"s have some of those roast apples," said Mr.
Ringgan, "and a couple of bowls of milk here."
"No, I"ll get the apples myself, Cynthy," said Fleda.
"And you needn"t take any of the cream off, Cynthy," added Mr.
Ringgan.
One corner of the kitchen table was hauled up to the fire, to be comfortable, Fleda said, and she and her grandfather sat down on the opposite sides of it to do honour to the apples and milk; each with the simple intent of keeping up appearances and cheating the other into cheerfulness. There is, however, deny it who can, an exhilarating effect in good wholesome food taken when one is in some need of it; and Fleda at least found the supper relish exceeding well. Every one furthermore knows the relief of a hearty flow of tears when a secret weight has been pressing on the mind. She was just ready for anything reviving. After the third mouthful she began to talk, and before the bottom of the bowls was reached, she had smiled more than once. So her grandfather thought no harm was done, and went to bed quite comforted; and Fleda climbed the steep stairs that led from his door to her little chamber just over his head. It was small and mean, immediately under the roof, with only one window. There were plenty of better rooms in the house, but Fleda liked this because it kept her near her grandfather; and indeed she had always had it ever since her father"s death, and never thought of taking any other.
She had a fashion, this child, in whom the simplicity of practical life and the poetry of imaginative life were curiously blended, ? she had a fashion of going to her window every night when the moon or stars were shining, to look out for a minute or two before she went to bed; and sometimes the minutes were more than any good grandmother or aunt would have considered wholesome for little Fleda in the fresh night air.
But there was no one to watch or reprimand; and whatever it was that Fleda read in earth or sky, the charm which held her one bright night was sure to bring her to her window the next.
This evening a faint young moon lighted up but dimly the meadow and what was called the "east-hill," over against which the window in question looked. The air was calm and mild; there was no frost to-night; the stillness was entire, and the stars shone in a cloudless sky. Fleda set open the window, and looked out with a face that again bore tokens of the experiences of that day. She wanted the soothing speech of nature"s voice; and child as she was, she could hear it. She did not know, in her simplicity, what it was that comforted and soothed her, but she stood at her window enjoying.
It was so perfectly still, her fancy presently went to all those people who had hushed their various work and were now resting, or soon would be, in the unconsciousness and the helplessness of sleep. The _helplessness_, ? and then that Eye that never sleeps; that Hand that keeps them all, that is never idle, that is the safety and the strength alike of all the earth, and of them that wake or sleep upon it, ?
"And if he takes care of them all, will he not take care of poor little me?" thought Fleda. "Oh, how glad I am I know there is a G.o.d! ? How glad I am I know he is such a G.o.d! and that I can trust in him; and he will make everything go right.
How I forget this sometimes! But Jesus does not forget his children. Oh, I am a happy little girl! ? Grandpa"s saying what he did don"t make it so ? perhaps I shall die the first ?
but I hope not, for what would become of him! ? But this and everything will all be arranged right, and I have nothing to do with it but to obey G.o.d and please him, and he will take care of the rest. He has forbidden _us_ to be careful about it too."
With grateful tears of relief Fleda shut the window and began to undress herself, her heart so lightened of its burden, that her thoughts presently took leave to go out again upon pleasure excursions in various directions; and one of the last things in Fleda"s mind before sleep surprised her was, what a nice thing it was for any one to bow and smile so as Mr.
Carleton did!
CHAPTER III.