The candles had mostly burnt down but they still cast just enough light to keep my anxiety in check. I hated being locked in this cell but it almost seemed preferable to how my sister was being kept in her gilded cage. At least she had found Sir Ramneal and whatever he might be able to offer her. I was happy for her, of course. I loved my sister so deeply but still seeing her with her knight broke my heart every time.
I had a knight of my own. Who loved at least as much as Sir Ramneal loved Arabella, perhaps more. We were young when we began to realize that what we felt for one another was beyond that of a typical friendship.
He kissed me for the first time when I was in my thirteenth year while we were out on a hunt. I"ll never forget it. I was angry with Arabella, for I don"t even remember what, but I had been ranting up a storm. About halfway though my planned protest against my sister, Issak had grabbed me by the collar, pulled me against him, and pressed him lips firmly to my own. To say that I was stunned would be quite the understatement. I was frozen stone solid for a solid minute but then electricity shot through my body frying every one of my nerve endings.
"Rin," he whispered against my lips. "For the love of the Seven, shut up. You"ve chased off any game within miles."
I laughed and then pushed my lips into a pout. "Did you only kiss me so that I"d stop talking?"
"Of course not. I love you. But the silence is an added bonus."
I just stared at him for a moment, blinking a few times, before what he said finally registered. "Izzy... I love you too."
Our hunt was then forgotten as we spent the rest of the day at camp kissing and napping in each other"s arms.
From that day on, we were a couple. While we didn"t say as much, we never denied it. When asked if we were together it was always a simple yes and then we"d move on. The n.o.bles talked, of course, but since I was the spare it wasn"t as important that I married well. Of course, Isaak being a Crawford helped, as their family was amongst the wealthiest of Morean n.o.bles and there had been a few Crawfords who married into the Amell line throughout the years.
My father pretended not to see, he was kind enough and never spoke against us but never spoke for us either. It hurt how he could just not see me for who I was and ignore the thing in my life that brought me the most joy. Arabella of course, as in all things, was my biggest supporter. She never failed to include Isaak in whatever scheme she"d plotted while she sat bored because she"d out paced her tutor"s given lessons. She never turned away when we were affectionate with one another or acted as if what we shared wasn"t absolutely normal. She often told me how badly she wanted to find her own Isaak, someone who loved her as completely as he did me. I had jokingly told her perhaps she should give the ladies of court a try but she just tossed her pillow at me.
Of course now she had found her Isaak. But what they had was far more impossible than Isaak and I. Say what you will about refusing to take a wife and love Isaak on the side, Isaak was a true blood, loyal Morean who never raised his sword to the throne. Sir Ramneal, as kind and devoted as he seemed, would never be welcomed here, even if they survived. I couldn"t free my sister from her duty because I was not a mage and for centuries, it had been law that only those with magic could rule over Morea. The closest family we had who could fill the role until a proper Amell could be born was Everette, born of the house Amerthine who was gifted with magic and blade, but who had died the night of the siege. Which meant, no matter how this ended, Arabella must take the throne.
I laying facing away from the bars, as I always did because my guards took great joy in tormenting me, when a shadow was cast against the wall I was facing. "I am not interested in anything you"ve to say." I gritted out.
"Are you sure? I"ve always been known for my stories."
My heart stopped. My blood turning to lead in my veins. I slowly rolled over refusing to believe my ears alone and when my eyes confirmed what my ears had told me I was skidding into a run, pressing my body to the bars, sticking my arms through them to wrap them around my lover who did the same.
"Isaak!" I whispered harshly. "What are you doing here?"
"I just saw Bella... when she told me you lived I had to see for myself." He said as he reached up to stroke my dirt and tear stained cheek. "Good thing we spent years following her around the tunnels with her old maps as kids. I guess actually breaking though into a path that lead here worked out in the end."
"G.o.ds, I cant believe you"re in front of me, Izzy." I said reaching up to grab his beautiful blond hair. "I had thought you dead. After you ran from bed that night with nothing but your sword..."
His hand slid into my hair, now longer than ever before, and fisted it at the base of my skull. "I never should have left you that night. If I had stayed in your rooms..."
"As a knight it was your duty to go."
"f.u.c.k duty." He growled. "You are all that matters... and when they put Everette in the square with your ring, I really thought you gone. I died in that moment. The only thing pushing me forward was my need for vengeance."
"Isaak..."
"I know. We both live but who can say for how long." He sighed letting his forehead drop against the bars. "I must save you. Both of you."
"Isaak," I said resting my forehead where his was, our skin so close to touching. "Bella is more important. She"s the one who matters..."
"Byrin... you matter..."
"Not to Morea"s future. When the time comes, if you can only take one of us..."
"I know." He said, his voice a choked sob. "I know."
"I love you."
He pressed forward, our lips meeting in a ghost of a kiss, getting as much contact as we could with the bars keeping us apart. Even with us hardly being able to reach one another, it was full of pa.s.sion. "I love you, Rin. I am nothing without you."
"You"re everything. Always." I said kissing him again. "But you go... if they find you..."
"I know. But touching you was worth the risk."
I gave him a tear filled smile. "Rebel leader looks good on you, Isaak." And it did. His full plate had been traded in for leather and studs and he honestly looked more swashbuckler than knight and it reminded me of one of my favorite s.m.u.t books about a prince and a pirate.
He laughed. "Soon you"ll see it up close, hands on."
I chucked as I kissed him one last time. "I can"t wait."
He reached out, wiping tears from my cheeks,
"I love you. Stay safe until I can take you from here."
"You as well." I said stepping back so he wouldn"t be temped to linger longer, we were already pressing our luck. "I love you."
With tears in his eyes he slipped back into the shadows and I found myself alone once more. Alone but full of hope.