Zixi had read somewhere that in every person"s life there comes a pivotal moment which shapes the rest of their life be it for the better or for the worse.Though he was a household staff member of the Yu family but that was his secondary ident.i.ty. Actually, his social status was even more prominent than the family he was employed under. He is the legitimate first born child of the Qin family. If the distribution of powers in the capital city were to be depicted as a geometrical diagram, then it would be represented by a Pentagon and his Qin family had occupied the top - most point of the Pentagon but that was an accurate description before everything went to h.e.l.l in a hand basket more than two decades ago. In a twist of fate he had to give up his primary ident.i.ty to safeguard his own life since he was the only living member of the Qin family. Everyone else except him had already departed from this world and left him by himself to shoulder everything on his own - his revenge, his hatred, his sadness and his loneliness.
That year grandfather had made a decision to close their doors to outsiders for half a year since the family members were being physically attacked outside and his mum was five months pregnant with the second child who would have been his little brother or sister. Though the family was overcast with the clouds of anxiety but underneath it there was happiness and antic.i.p.ation for the coming member of the family. Who would have thought that the estate would catch fire on his fifth birthday party while everyone was inside. They had been caught unaware. Afterall, how could grandfather or even father envision that the other party would take such drastic action to cut the weeds and eliminate the roots.
During sleepless nights he could still recall how his father had broken a window and mercilessly thrown him out of it to somehow preserve the lineage. He can still remember the smell of burning bricks and the charred flesh of his loved ones. He had seen with his eyes wide open how grandpa, dad and mum had been trapped inside with no way out. He could still hear his mother"s voice urging him to be safe, to hide himself in the garden shed and when n.o.body was around to run to his uncle Yu"s safe house. He had watched his family and his life crumbling around himself. Everything had burnt to cinders and he had fainted dead away. A few minutes or may be hours later, he had felt a few raindrops on his face and had a perplexed thought about why would it be raining inside his room. But when he had opened his eyes and his brain had caught up with the recent events he had not known what to do or say. He belatedly realised that it wasn"t raining inside his room but teardrops of his uncle falling on his cheeks. It was the first time he had seen his always carefree uncle crying.
The next few days had pa.s.sed in a daze and he had been intermittently either catatonic or completely out of it. He had no recollection of those days except silently crying without making any sort of noise until one day uncle had told him that now he had to be a big, responsible boy because it was a bad bad world outside and he had a framed and shrieked himself hoa.r.s.e while asking for his parents. Uncle had explained to him in easy to understand words about what had happened. He had also told him that he could no longer be a young master of an affluent family or a Qin by name. That conversation was the catalyst to him growing up too fast for his age. Even though he had not understood the cause and reason of the things that had happened, he had on an instinctive level realised that the happy chapter of his life had ended.
Afterwards uncle had sent him out of the country fearing for his life. Moreover, those people knew about his father and uncle Yu being closer than blood related brothers so they had to be keeping an eye on his family as well. But more than a decade later he had come back to send off his aunt on her last journey. Though uncle had forbidden him, he couldn"t help himself. Afterall, he never had a proper closure about the deaths of his parents and grandpa therefore, he had a strong urge to atleast see his aunt for one last time before her funeral.
That was the day his life changed for the better once again. He could conjure up the exact moment he had woken up from his self induced slumber. He had known that his uncle and aunt had a small daughter who was younger to him by six years. His mother and aunty Yu had fallen pregnant within months of each other but that was the first time he had seen her.
As had returned after the funeral to the main Yu residence he had seen a girl about ten years old standing at one corner of the garden. Her clothes had been all rumpled, with tears streaking down her face while she was crying piteously. She was crying so hard that he could see from far away that she had trouble breathing but all one coul hear was her heart wrenching calls for her mother. It had struck him at that moment how both of them were going through something similar but the difference was that where he had completely let go of any ambitions or a semblance of a proper living life, this girl was crying her heart out here but he could feel it in his bones that she would emerge stronger from thus tragedy unlike himself.
He had gone up to her to console her but it was as if she was covered in thorns not allowing anyone to be close to her or share her sorrow. He had patiently stood beside her without disturbing her. After about thirty minutes she had cried herself to apparent weakness and turned to face him. Her face had turned blotchy and red with all that crying but it was her eyes which had mesmerised him for a few seconds. Though one could see sadness and unwillingness in them, they also had a sense of isolation in them. She had asked him who he was and what was he doing in her garden. He had been fl.u.s.tered for a moment not knowing how to explain his presence to someone who should have been an integral part of his life but was looking at him with the eyes of a stranger.
On a whim he had replied that he was Zixi and was a memeber of the household staff. She had looked at him with mild distrust saying, "All household staff is big people and I have never seen you in the servants building before." Trying not to get caught lying he had tried to change the subject.
He could recall word for word the entire conversation. He had patted her head and said, "It"s okay. The bad times will pa.s.s. Though nothing can ever fill up the gap left by our loved ones who have departed we still have to try to be happy. They ll watch us from the heavens."
Before he could finish his words the girl had erupted like a volcano. She had questioned him, "Oh everyone comes to say all these kind of words to me but I hate it. Do you know the feeling of loosing a mother? Do you know how it feels when everyone says they understand what you are feeling but they don"t since they haven"t lost their mother"s? Do you know how it feels to come back to an empty house where you will never see your mum again?"
After furiously shouting these words to him and without giving him a chance to explain himself she had ran away at full speed as if she couldn"t bother herself about him and had left him standing there dumbstruck. Afterwards, when he had met uncle again he had told him his decision to stay in the country. Uncle had been vehemently against it but had used his ultimate weapon that he needed to be close to the only family(uncle) he had in the whole wide world and uncle had finally agreed reluctantly. He had also informed him that he wanted to enter the Yu residence as a member of the household staff. Listening to his words uncle had this uncomfortable look on his face and told him that he couldn"t bear to see him working under him. After much back and forth they had made a compromise that he would be trained as Yu Yue"s future right hand man but to stop those people from doubting his background and making covert inquires they had gotten another girl who was the same age as him and made some superficial changes to their faces to look alike.
Looking back he knew that the only reason he had made such a drastic and abrupt decision that fateful day was to stay close to the girl who had asked him whether he could understand the acute pain and suffering she was going through in her heart. He had never told another soul about meeting a girl who had made him wake up and take a look at the world around him. It was as if that conversation had hooked his soul to the girl and the only way he would feel relieved would be by her side. He had made a solemn vow to himself that he would do everything in his power to lessen her worries and heartache since he didn"t have the right to stand by her side until he tool his revenge. Therefore, until that time he would stand behind her and give her all his support and help in whatever way she required.
He wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with her one day in all aspects, then remind her of their first interaction all those years ago and answer her that yes he could postulate and comprehend that sense of loneliness all too well.