It just irritated Qiu Yue to know that so many people felt they could judge her.Well whatever. Since they"d already commented they"d better be ready for any petty things she did. >.>
Preparing for the press conference Qiu Yue took a deep breath. Right now, sitting alone in the room right before she went out to face millions of people, it was as though the silence was engulfing her.
It was no secret that... Qiu Yue feared this. What this was, she still couldn"t understand completely. What was she afraid of? The people? The stage? The expectations?
Sure their comments and opinions didn"t sadden her, they just bounced off like annoying flies. But her fear was unrelated to the ma.s.ses. The people she feared disappointing were... important to her. The Lang parents, they weren"t her parents as such but - the love they gave her, it felt like a chance to make her parents happy. Yao Yan who helped her at every step. Even doing things that Qiu Yue hadn"t thought about, all to help her. And...
Huo Zi Feng.
After that betrayal, Qiu Yue couldn"t say she"d never trust someone but in the first place - she"d never loved anyone like him, like she did him. He put so much trust in her, so much faith. If something went wrong - how could I face him? The only thing he"d towards her was disappointment.
In that moment it was as though a small box of bad thoughts had been opened up. Qiu Yue couldn"t stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
Lost in these thoughts, Qiu Yue didn"t even hear the knocking on the door. When Huo Zi Feng poked his head into the room, Qiu Yue"s hands were clenched tightly and she didn"t even seem to realize this. Her eyes were dark, unlike the usual clarity and purity they held. For a moment it felt like she was drowning and he couldn"t reach her.
His heart shook in panic and he knelt in front of her. He gently pried her hands open and held them in his, looking into her eyes with worry.
"Ah Yue... if this hurts you, don"t do it."
His heart clenched thinking about those poisonous things people said about her. He shouldn"t have let them reach her!
Honestly, even Qiu Yue didn"t understand where this fear came from. But feeling the electric heat go from her finger tips to her heart, it jolted her awake. This person, this beautiful person in front of her - he always stood by her. The support he gave to her, the feelings - with most people you"d remember both bad and good memories. Perhaps in times of sadness, only the bad ones. But only this person, looking at him she was reminded of only happiness. Regardless of all the sadness she held, thinking of him she couldn"t help but remember all the times of warmth, laughter, felicity. It was like his arrival into her life brought only light, shining upon her.
Looking in his eyes, br.i.m.m.i.n.g with worry, her fear slowly dissipated. It still remained within her, this fear that had taken root over a life time, but it couldn"t influence her right now. And perhaps, with the help of her friends, one day this fear could be defeated.
Huo Zi Feng didn"t know what had changed, but he could sense that whatever had been worrying her was gone. But he still felt unsettled. No one would want their beloved to be sad. But added to that, while he wasn"t sure what had been worrying her, he felt distinctly that it had something to do with him.
What it was, he couldn"t seem to remember.