NOTE: Please play "Fact-Fiction" by Mads Langer to get the full effect of the chapter!Something that was hard to notice was that even in the happiest songs, even the ones that seemed the most fun, Qiu Yue"s eyes could never completely indulge in the performances.
Half way through the concert, she rushed backstage to change outfits and met Qiao Feng along the way. She smiled at Qiao Feng but it caused his heart to ache painfully. Why was it that he could feel that something was missing? But he never had a chance to say anything to her as she rushed back on stage with that same porcelain smile. So fragile as though a single wrong move could shatter it.
It wasn"t that Qiu Yue was always sad. She wasn"t. She did do her best and she had found somewhat of a solace in comforting others, and yet everyday she"d go back to thoughts of him, of Huo Zi Feng, and then it felt like she was drowning all over again.
Finally it was time for the last song of the day and this was one Qiu Yue needed Qiao Feng to sing with her.
"Alright, guys! The night is coming to an end. There"s an unfortunate announcement... Mr. Yu w.a.n.g is unable to make it here today, so an anonymous singer will be filling in for him. I hope you guys can support us as this is the song I wrote with all my feelings."
Even the audience could feel the shift in the air as Qiu Yue"s voice seemed to carry weight when she spoke.
Qiao Feng stood behind the stage, fitted with a mic and clothing, where only his shadow was shown on the screen while Qiu Yue stood in the front.
It was meant to be in the image of a couple standing together, yet while one seemed real, and the other was a shadow.
There was nothing special about this performance, no effects, nothing.
Qiu Yue stood alone with a guitar and gently strummed the strings with a saddening and yet perhaps the most real emotion on her face.
It was Qiao Feng"s voice that rang out in the quiet stadium.
"Imagine a world without me
Say you"re falling apart
Let"s pretend you"ve missed me for a while"
"Wouldn"t you say you were lonely and love was breaking your heart
Put on your Sunday best and fake a smile"
Different from the original she"d heard, Qiu Yue had wanted to make her arrangement slower, with more impact.
Qiu Yue"s voice took over as she sang from the next line. It was clear and sweet but her voice also held a deeper, wistful meaning, one only she knew about.
"I dream of dreaming dreams of him"
"In twilight he"s a constant blur"
"The picture is clear and I"m still fact he"s fiction"
"Remember the night you were with me"
"Fell asleep by my side"
"Strangers together - your hand in mine"
Qiu Yue"s eyes were filled with reminiscence as she thought back to the days they"d just fallen asleep in the office. Just them. And how all the comfort in the world could never make her feel that way.
"How come we never came closer
When all the stars were aligned"
"I thought we had a moment"
Touching the wedding band around her neck, the heavy lump in her throat just started to get heavier with each verse.
"I dream of dreaming dreams of him"
"In twilight he"s a constant blur"
Qiu Yue was scared that maybe she"d one day forget the memories they"d made, his appearance and his soul... That thought scared her so much and she"d barely been able to put it to words.
"The picture is clear and I"m still fact he"s fiction"
"I seem to miss the missing part, he"s still my favorite work of art"
"The picture is clear and I"m still fact he"s fiction"
For some reason she was reminded of the fact that she"d literally read his story in a book. Before she"d sang these words, she hadn"t realized how true they rang to her.
A mirthless smile twisted her lips.
"No nothing has changed, cause I"m still fact he"s fiction"
"Or I may be imperfectly formed in this contradiction yeah"
She truly didn"t know who she was. She just felt tired. She really did try to be happy but it was hard. Everyday, everyday she would wake up and think of him and everyday it would hit her, that she"d lost him.
Her voice started to crack and tremble as her eyes blurred with tears.
She really didn"t want to cry. She"d gotten so good at pretending so why? Why was it that... the moment she thought of him she couldn"t stop herself.
"I dream of dreaming dreams of her
In twilight he"s a constant blur
The picture is clear and I"m still fact he"s fiction yeah"
"Oh yeah"
"Oh"
Even as her voice trembled she didn"t stop singing. This was the one song she couldn"t let go of.
"I fell in love with his longing - let"s just say that I never found out"
"Who it was he never found in me"
She wanted to go home.
She really wanted to go back. She just wanted to curl up in his warmth and fall asleep forever.
The moment the song ended, she stopped playing as the tears bubbled up all of a sudden. she"d even gone wrong on a few notes as her hands were trembling too much.
The audience had long gone silent. Anyone could see that she"d been overcome with emotions that were still fresh and would always be real.
She really didn"t want to cry.
She bit her lip hard as she covered her eyes with her hands, just the sound of her light crying filled the stadium.
Everyone stayed silent for a few seconds before the fans snapped back and one of them asked her to not cry.
"We"re always here!"
Only another fan would understand the pain of seeing one"s idol cry. It was so hard because you truly wanted to comfort them but how were they supposed to?
"But I can"t..."
"I don"t want to do that anymore."
And yet what she did was the exact opposite.
She just... smiled. Even though her red eyes bore witness of her tears, all she did was smile.
She boxed up her tears, her feelings.
Smile.
Smile.
Smile.