You ask me if I think your poems good; If I could praise your poems, Gibbs,--I would.
EGERTON WEBBE, _apud_ LEIGH HUNT.
What I admire in the order to which you belong [the aristocracy], is that they do live in the air, that they excel in athletic sports; that they can only speak one language; and that they never read.
This is not a complete education, but it is the highest education since the Greek.
_Phoebus_, in LORD BEACONSFIELD"s _Lothair_.
_RELIABLE._
(A MILD PROTEST.)
Shut up a party who uses "Reliable"
When he means "Trustworthy;" "tis undeniable That his excuses are flimsy and friable, And his conceptions of grammar most pliable.
No doubt he"d p.r.o.nounce this line"s last word "enviable:"
Invent, for bad fish (which he"d sell) the word "criable,"
Say that his faded silk hat might be dyeable, And accent French vilely--allude to _le diable_.
If his name"s William, "twould be most enj"yable To see Mr. Calcraft preparing to tie a Bill.
Now let Punch hope he has stamped out "Reliable."
SHIRLEY BROOKS, _Wit and Humour_.
"I see," said my clerical neighbour, addressing myself, "you stick to port." "Yes," I said, "and so am safe from being half-seas over."
W. H. HARRISON, _Reminiscences_.
All tradesmen cry up their own wares: In this they agree well together: The Mason by stone and lime swears; The Tanner is always for leather; The Smith still for iron would go; The Schoolmaster stands up for teaching; And the Parson would have you to know There"s nothing on earth like his preaching.
LORD NEAVES, _Songs and Verses_.
Matrimony--the high sea for which no compa.s.s has yet been invented.
HEINRICH HEINE, _Musical Notes from Paris_.
O daughters! make your markets while you can, For bloom soon groweth as the water wan; The early bird picks up the marrying man.
_Once a Week._
He was the most even-tempered man I ever knew: he was always cross.
MRS. JENKINS, _Within an Ace_.
I have a horse--a ryghte good horse-- Ne doe I envie those Who scour ye plaine in headie course, Tyll soddaine on theyre nose They lyghte wyth unexpected force-- It ys--a horse of clothes.
I have a saddel--"Sayst thou soe?
With styrruppes, knyghte, to boote?"
I sayde not that--I answere "Noe,"-- Yt lacketh such, I woot-- It ys a mutton-saddel, loe!
Parte of ye fleecie brute.
LEWIS CARROLL, _Phantasmagoria_.
Story of Lord Middleton, out hunting, calling to Gunter the confectioner to "Hold hard," and not ride over the hounds. "My horse is so hot, my Lord, that I don"t know what to do with him." "Ice him, Gunter, ice him."
R. H. BARHAM, _Life_.
She"s rising now, and taking off her bonnet, And probably will end by sitting on it; For oft, as sad experiences teach, The novice, trembling from his maiden speech, Drops fl.u.s.tered in his place, and crushes flat His innocent and all-unconscious hat.
_2nd Lady_, in G. O. TREVELYAN"s _Ladies in Parliament_.
_ON A LEFT-HANDED WRITING-MASTER._
Though Nature thee of thy right hand bereft, Right well thou writest with the hand that"s left.
FRANCIS FULLER, _apud_ NICHOLLS.
We are never so much disposed to quarrel with others, as when we are dissatisfied with ourselves.
W. HAZLITT, _Characteristics_.
The c.o.c.kney, met in Middles.e.x, or Surrey, Is often cold, and always in a hurry.
FREDERICK LOCKER, _London Lyrics_.
Speaking one day of a newly risen sect of religionists who proscribed the use of animal food, the Archbishop [Whately] said to Dr. Wilson, "Do you know anything, Wilson, of this new sect?"
"Yes, my Lord; I have seen their confession of faith, which is a book of cookery."
E. J. WHATELY"s _Life of Whately_.
And I do think the amateur cornopean Should be put down by law--but that"s perhaps Utopian.
C. S. CALVERLEY, _Verses and Translations_.