Caelan"s heart fell within him. In an instant he understood that Lea was not real, was not alive as he had thought. The miracle of her survival had been only a dream. Yes, she was here, but as part of the spirit world, and that meant she was indeed dead and lost to him.
Chapter Ten.
Staring at her in horror, he slowly backed away.
Lea turned her head to look at him, and her blue eyes widened. "No, Caelan!"
He couldn"t bear to speak to her. What cruelty was this? What capricious G.o.d took amus.e.m.e.nt at giving him Lea against all hope or reason, then made her nothing more than a ghost?
Lea"s eyes tried to hold his. "You"re wrong. Please listen-"
With a cry, Caelan turned and ran, stooping, down the tunnel. He had to get out of here, had to get away from her.
She came after him, throwing her arms around his waist and squeezing tight to hold him.
He turned on her, pushing her off. "Get away from me!"
Tears filled her eyes. "I"m real. I"m real!"
He shut out her voice, refusing to listen. Again he turned his back on her and headed for the mouth of the cave.
She caught his cloak and tugged. "Please, please listen to me. Touch my hand. I"m flesh and blood, Caelan, just like you."
Her pleas tore at his heart. He wanted to believe her, yet he couldn"t. All he trusted was the evidence of his own eyes.
"Do you not waver from the sight of others when you sever!" sever!" she asked. "Has no one ever been frightened by you? Has no one ever misunderstood what you are doing?" she asked. "Has no one ever been frightened by you? Has no one ever misunderstood what you are doing?"
He glanced back at her with a frown. "What?"
"Can you not come and go among people without being seen? Can you not step into the spirit world and exit as you choose? Can you not move faster than thought, so fast sometimes your opponent cannot see you?"
His frown deepened. He did not want to listen to her, yet he could not help it. How could she know what it was like?
"Oh, Caelan," she said, her voice full of compa.s.sion, "do you not yet know what we are?"
He stared at her, too amazed to answer, but his mind was shifting into one rapid thought after another. Lea, who could read his mind, who had answered his thoughts as though they were spoken aloud since she had first learned to talk. Lea, who wished for things that then came true, as though her will could bend events themselves. Lea, whose gentle spirit had always been his guide and conscience.
"What are you saying?" he whispered.
She stepped closer, her eyes still locked on his. Holding out her hand to him, she said, "Am I real?"
He flinched back. "I don"t know! I have lately walked in a place where the mind can be twisted. All these years I have grieved for you, thinking you were dead, wishing I could see you again."
"I am not dead. I am not a ghost. Caelan, look with truth. Don"t let your fear blind you."
"What is the truth?" he asked hoa.r.s.ely, dragging in a breath. "How do you still come to be here? How are you still alive? Who cares for you? What happened to you?"
"I told you this is a place of sanctuary."
"Sanctuary? What do you mean?"
"A place of protection. The gentle spirits keep it. Anyone who comes here is safe. I knew this when I used to play here. You knew it when you left me here."
"I knew nothing," he said savagely. "Except that I abandoned you to starve."
"You knew," knew," she insisted. "Instinctively, if nothing else. And when you told me to stay here until you came back, I did. In a way." she insisted. "Instinctively, if nothing else. And when you told me to stay here until you came back, I did. In a way."
He looked away angrily. "Impossible! Why do you lie?"
"Why do you refuse the truth?"
Her words were gentle; her tone was reasonable. But he couldn"t believe her.
"I"m sorry," she said, looking hurt. "I thought you would understand by now. I shouldn"t have approached you this way. But I was so glad to see you, so happy. After all these years I had the chance to bring you back to me."
"I don"t understand."
She met his gaze, and her eyes were clear and guileless. "I wished you to come back to me, and you did. When I saw that you were coming through the Gate of Sorrows, I-"
"How do you know about that?" he demanded sharply, his suspicions reawakened. "Unless you are yourself some vision from the shadow world, how would you know about-"
"How do you you know what you know?" she countered. "How do you see deeply into the souls of men, so deeply you find their threads of life? How do you command a warding key simply by holding it and wishing it to work? How do you walk among demons and men, known to both? Do you think it is possible that only you can do such things, when I am your sister, with the same blood and the same heart?" know what you know?" she countered. "How do you see deeply into the souls of men, so deeply you find their threads of life? How do you command a warding key simply by holding it and wishing it to work? How do you walk among demons and men, known to both? Do you think it is possible that only you can do such things, when I am your sister, with the same blood and the same heart?"
He stared at her, letting her words sink in, and felt cold to his marrow. "What are we?" he asked.
She hesitated a moment, then said, "We are Choven."
His mind surged within him, as though he might almost believe it; then his skepticism crashed back. "Impossible."
"Do not fear the truth."
He glared at her. "Choven don"t look like us. They aren"t-"
He broke off abruptly and didn"t finish his sentence.
Lea"s eyes never wavered. "They aren"t human?" she finished.
Furious, he said, "I have been called everything from casna casna to to donare. donare. But-" But-"
She slapped her hand against his breastplate loudly enough to silence him. "Hush!" she said, her blue eyes snapping. "Oh, how angry you make me when you are stubborn. Are the Choven evil? Are they?" Are they?"
He frowned and reluctantly shook his head.
"They are mysterious and rarely seen. Does that make them evil?"
He sighed impatiently. "Of course not."
"Then do not fear the truth."
"But, Lea, I do not look like any Choven ever seen. Nor do you. We look like our parents. We were born in E"nonhold, our births witnessed by people who helped bring us up."
It was her turn to sigh impatiently. She crossed her arms and began to tap her foot. "Stubborn and and stupid. You have so many lessons to learn. Will you insist on seeing only the most obvious explanation? Or can your mind accept alternatives?" stupid. You have so many lessons to learn. Will you insist on seeing only the most obvious explanation? Or can your mind accept alternatives?"
"Explain."
"I am trying trying to, but you won"t listen to anything." to, but you won"t listen to anything."
Wearily he tipped his head back against the wall. "I am tired, sister, and beset with worries. My chief responsibility is the life and safety of the empress sovereign. Make your words simple and don"t twist my mind with complications."
"I"m sorry we have quarreled," she said, her anger vanishing at once. "Of course you are tired, but you need not worry. You are safe, and the empress is safe as long as she stays here."
"She has little time," Caelan said. "The venom-"
"It cannot do its evil while she lies here."
He looked into his sister"s eyes and felt the tension in his body relax. Closing his eyes, he murmured, "Gault be thanked."
"Come," Lea said, tugging at his sleeve. "You need care. Come and rest."
He shook free and slung the end of his cloak across his shoulder. "No, I must guard her-"
"She is safe, Caelan. No harm can befall her here."
"Any lurker could enter the cave-"
"No lurker would dare come in here. The earth spirits guard us. Nothing without can see the mouth of the cave. Even if they look directly at it, their eyes are blinded and they see only dirt and rock." Lea tilted her golden head and smiled at him. "Don"t worry so much. Be at peace for a little while, sweet brother. You have fought for such a long time. Come and take refuge."
She was right. He did need rest. He tried to think of how long it had been since the Madruns overran the palace, and knew he had lost all track of time. But he had been fighting too long, and he could not fight Lea too.
She drew him back into the deepest part of the cave, where he had first found her. The emeralds studding the walls glittered at him, and the air was so warm and sweet he threw back his cloak.
"Elandra should be in here."
"The lady sleeps well where she is. Do not disturb her," Lea said. "Sit, and take your rest."
With a groan, he sank to the ground and propped himself against the wall. His muscles were stiffening, and his leg hurt. His armor weighed too much, and he could no longer resist the spell that Lea cast.
"Rest your mind as well as your body," Lea said. "Here."
He glanced up at her and blinked, for in her hands were a goblet of mead and a bowl of steaming soup. He frowned in astonishment. "How?"
"Eat," she said, handing the food to him. "Then we will talk."
It was morning when he awoke, finding himself covered with a soft fur robe. Tiny dapples of sunlight filtered in from natural ventilation somewhere. Blinking, he slowly sat up and looked around. His armor lay nearby, freshly polished and gleaming. The rips in his crimson cloak had been mended, and the garment itself was cleaned so well it looked cut from new cloth. A large, decora-tively st.i.tched leather pouch fitted with a shoulder strap rested beneath his emerald. Smiling involuntarily to himself, Caelan brushed his fingertips over the surface of the stone before sliding it into the pouch and slipping the strap over his shoulder to check the fit. If the emerald continued to grow larger and heavier, he might soon find himself trying to carry a boulder around. Then what would he do? Start driving a cart?
But such flippant thoughts seemed disrespectful. After all, he was a guest in this place; he must not insult his mysterious hosts, even in his mind.
He wolfed down fresh, piping hot breakfast cakes stacked on a platter, emptied a mug of spiced cider, and felt almost renewed.
Running his hand over the itchy stubble on his jaw, he yawned and stretched as best he could in the cramped confines of the cave. Slipping through the narrow exit, he returned to the other cavern where he had left Elandra the night before.
She lay still and peaceful, as though in sleep, the glowing topaz still clutched in her fingers.
He knelt beside her, not daring to touch her, and fresh worry filled his heart. Lea had said she was safe here, but would she slumber forever in this cave, never to emerge?
Someone had combed the tangles from Elandra"s auburn hair. It lay across her pillow in a shining fan, and a fur robe covered her to the waist. Her face looked peaceful, no longer pale and strained. The purple smudges were gone from beneath her eyes. He studied the thick sweep of her lashes against her cheek and wished he could somehow impart his strength to her.
"Good morning," Lea said.
Startled, he turned and saw his sister smiling at him. She wore a gown of sky-blue wool today, and her golden hair had been pinned up in smooth plaits around her head.
Caelan smiled at her in greeting, hiding his doubts, which had returned, and reluctantly left Elandra"s side to join his sister.
"Come out," Lea said.
Caelan followed her outside and found the sun bright upon a blinding expanse of fresh snow. The air was crisp and clean. For a fanciful moment it almost seemed that the trees bowed to him, but Caelan blinked and dismissed the thought. It was only the weight of the snow, bending them down.
"It is a beautiful day," Lea said, throwing out her hands and whirling about in a little dance that took her to the edge of the stream. She jumped its narrow expanse-her skirts flying up to show off the red leather boots she wore-and clapped her hands from the opposite side. "Come!"
Smiling a little, he followed where she beckoned, climbing up the opposite bank with his breath streaming white about his face.
"Where are we going?" he called after her. "I don"t want to get too far from ..."
His voice died away as he reached the top of the bank and found himself looking at a herd of nordeer. The animals were pale and stately, gathered just at the edge of the clearing.
They peered back at him, their long, narrow faces solemn as they flicked long ears and chewed their cud. There were perhaps a dozen of the animals, a tiny herd containing what looked like an even mixture of does and bucks. The latter carried tall, racklike antlers with a graceful air of n.o.bility. It was strange that all the nordeer were of similar size, and each rack of antlers showed an identical number of points. Caelan had never before seen a herd like this. Usually they migrated in vast numbers, bunching protectively around the old, weak, and young ones.
As he stared in wonder, some of them dropped their heads and pawed the snow for grazing. Caelan laughed aloud, and their heads snapped back up to look at him. They were alert, poised as though to leap away, and yet they seemed remarkably unafraid.
Lea was watching Caelan closely. When he smiled, she did too. "Are they not beautiful?" she asked.
"Magnificent," he said, thrilled by the sight of them. Glimpses of wild nordeer this far south were rare.
"They came for you," Lea said.
His gaze swung away from the animals, and he frowned at her. "What?"
She pointed, and he turned to see two s.h.a.ggy mountain ponies saddled and tied in readiness.
Caelan did not understand, but he did not want to. He moved back a step. "No."
"It is time you learned the truth," Lea said.