"Anyway, all my friends now have boyfriends I set them up with. And I"m pretty good at it, since they are all still together." She smiles and pats my leg. "So there"s my resume! Do I have you convinced now I can get you with Quynn?"
I nod, but I"m not really payin" attention anymore. I feel like s.h.i.t. She"s never goin" to think I"m for real until I tell her Quynn isn"t who I want anymore.
It"s her.
But will she ever believe that?
"So, I"ve lost count on our questions." She laughs, her breath tickling my face. "But I"m pretty sure you"ve run out."
I nod.
"Hey."
I look at her.
"You okay?"
No. I"m not okay. I"ve got a girl who refuses to believe anyone could fall for her because she"s fat, and she refuses to fall for anyone else because she doesn"t want to get hurt.
I don"t ever want to hurt her. I want to be with her. Hold her and show her she"s freakin" wrong.
"Yeah, I"m fine."
Reason 11: You are perceptive.
One day. One d.a.m.n day since I talked with Hayles. I"ve never been more happy for a Monday.
Funny thing, it"s not *cause of Quynn that I"m anxious to get to the ASL room. I have the palm sweats and the gut knots and all that other stuff that tells me I"m in way over my head. That"s normal for the ASL room, but it"s for a different girl this time.
And it"s about a hundred times worse.
I kind of wonder if it"s *cause I couldn"t text Hayles at all after I dropped her off. I really regret not askin" her more about her *waterlogged" phone. I"m askin" today *cause this s.h.i.t sucks. It"s like I need to talk to her. All. The. Time.
d.a.m.n it.
I am in way over my head.
And it"s only lunch time. Just one. More. Hour.
I jam my earphones in and crank up the music. I"m not in the mood to people watch today. Gotta calm my nerves.
I"m going to do it today. I"m going to ask her out, and she"s going to say yes and believe me. Even if I have to freakin" shake her until she gets it.
Drummin" my fingers on my knees, I close my eyes and try to erase everythin" twisting in my stomach. It"s just a girl. Just a girl. Done this before. What"s the worst that can happen?
She"ll say no.
Then convince her to say yes.
Good luck with that, Brody. She"s pretty firm on her self-image.
Well, she"s wrong.
One of my earphones gets pulled out and my eyes snap open.
"What are you listening to, homie?"
Can"t help feelin" like I may hurl all over her as she sits down-right next to me again-and sticks the headphone in her ear. I go to turn it down, but she stops my hand, keeping hers on mine as she listens.
Can"t. Concentrate.
She"s all warm and soft and c.r.a.p. I want to grab her into my arms and keep her there forever.
"Mr. Grant, I"ve underestimated you."
"Huh?" Yeah, I"m going to try to ignore the fact it doesn"t matter what name she calls me, I like it. Point for Hayles about the name thing.
"You have good taste in more than just chips." She grabs the iPod out of my hand. Her finger flicks through the playlists, and I hear a small, "Ooh!" before the song changes. Then she hums along softly by my face.
d.a.m.n beautiful.
"Uh, Hayles?"
"Mmm?" She turns the music down.
Bailing... "I didn"t know you had this lunch."
"Yup. Right now you"re saving me from the slob fest going on in the cafeteria." Her eyes toss up to the ceiling before meeting mine. "I hate being witness to PDA."
I chuckle. "Yeah. I know the feeling."
"Tanner and Dani?" She smiles and winks.
"Uh huh." I pause and nod toward a couple of Hipsters goin" at each other across the hallway. "But they"re not as bad as that I guess."
Hayles follows my gaze and shivers. "Gag me."
She goes to turn the music back up, but I stop her. h.e.l.l yeah! She lets me keep my hand on hers.
All right, Brody. Just ask her out. Not a big deal.
"Hey, uh... so I was wonderin"-"
Bell rings.
d.a.m.n it.
She grins, tossing my earphone in my lap. "Tell me on the way to cla.s.s."
Can"t do it. Not on our way to the cla.s.s we share with Quynn. Not in the middle of a chaotic hallway in this c.r.a.phole we call high school. I mean, she"s never been asked out before. Well, I a.s.sume she"s never been asked. That"s what she said, right?
More pressure to make this good for her. She deserves that.
"Brody?"
"Huh?"
"Are you mad at me or something?"
Guess we"ve been walkin" to cla.s.s, and I haven"t said a word. Didn"t even notice.
"No." I attempt a smirk, but it probably looks real stupid.
Her brow crinkles in that hot way it always does, and she points a finger at me. "Well, something"s bugging you. You"re a lot quieter than normal. I mean you"re usually quiet, but today you seem..."
"In a daze?" My smirk is for real this time.
She smacks her forehead. It"s so cute when she does that. "Gosh dang gorillas, I"m such an idiot."
My eyebrow pulls upward. What is she on about now? "Because...?"
"Because I know why you"re quiet and I should"ve figured it out by now."
Huh? Am I that transparent?
"Don"t be nervous about seeing her today. Maybe ask for some help after cla.s.s. Like, totally botch it with me or something." She giggles and it takes me a minute to catch up with her.
Right.
Quynn.
Signing.
Pointers.
I don"t want to think about all that c.r.a.p-the mess I"ve made already with everythin". And I know Quynn"ll ask why I wasn"t home on Friday when she came over.
Hayles is going to be p.i.s.sed when she finds out.
Or maybe it"ll be enough to convince her I"d rather be with her than Quynn. May work in my favor.
Maybe I"ll bring it up.
"Hey." She stops in front of me and grabs my shoulders. I flex underneath her grasp, showin" off.
Her face goes a little pink, but she keeps her hands on me. "It"s no different than it was before, okay? Don"t be nervous. You"ve got this in the bag."
I open my mouth to pretty much tell her everythin", but she stops me.
"And I"ll tell you another secret." She drops her hands and gives me a faint smile. "She looks at you the same way you look at her. She... she really likes you. She"s just waiting for the right moment."
I"m as big a douche as my brother, because I don"t care.
I don"t care.
It"s not the right girl. A week ago, maybe, but now? Man, I just want Hayles.
"Hey," I say as I s.n.a.t.c.h one of her hands and play with her fingers. That feels good. She"s not pullin" back either. "I"m not nervous about Quynn. I told you, I"m not really... I"m not sure about her anymore."
She gives me a *whatever" look and pulls her hand away.
"Knock it off, Brody."
Quynn"s wearing her same old sweater and jeans, but her hair is down today. I know this means she"s in a good mood, and it p.i.s.ses me off that I know that.
And it shouldn"t make me want to brush it from her face, but it does. Ugh. Thought I was over this girl.
Hayles waves her hand in front of my face and brings me back into her view.
Whoops, should be payin" attention. Especially to the girl I actually want.
What are we going to talk about?
She smiles and my stomach twists.
I have a question for you.
It"s going to suck askin" her like this, but I don"t care. Maybe rejection will be better in sign language.
More questions? I believe you ran out on Sat.u.r.day.
I smirk. Okay, so you"ve got some for me, then? I"m stallin"-again, but I don"t care. I like our banter. It"s so... easy.
I totally just dug myself in a hole. Now I can"t think of anything to ask you. She laughs under her breath as she swipes her bangs from her face.
You forfeit one of your questions to me, then?
Her nose scrunches as she gives me a look that"s so d.a.m.n s.e.xy, it"s hard for me not to close the distance between us. Even in front of everyone. In front of Quynn.
Man, I got it bad.
Fine. What"s your question?
I throw a quick glance at Quynn. Her eyes dart from mine and shoot to her signing partner. Her face goes bright red. Was she staring at me? *Listenin" to our conversation?