"It"s not stupid, Mom." *Cause it"s not. Our family shouldn"t be so messed up. I wish I had that buddy-buddy thing with Gabe like I used to. I even wish Mark was my real dad... okay, he"s my *real" dad, but not my biological dad. And I wish Mom didn"t have to deal with it all.
"I miss having Quynn around." She smiles and sort of nudges me. "Things were pretty good when she was, huh?"
Ah h.e.l.l. This is the moment she chooses to tell me her obvious preference with the girls in my life? I get it. Mom and Quynn are like family. And things were awesome when Quynn was around. But she"s not Hayley. I can"t help but think if Mom knew Hayley, she wouldn"t be shoving Quynn in my face every chance she could.
"I guess." That"s all that comes out.
"Okay, enough of the heavy." Dad squeezes Mom"s shoulders. "Let"s talk about the fun stuff."
They give me a play by play on their plans this week, Dad winking at Mom every time they say they"ll be *sleeping". Yuck. Basically, all I hear is they"ll have a bunch of fun together, romance and all that other junk, and they"ll be home on Sunday night. Oh, and I"m not allowed to have an orgy.
Dually noted.
My phone rings right as Dad is givin" Mom another wink, and I leap up to get it.
I thought only girls get all... what do they call it? Fluttery? Dude, I dunno, but crazy c.r.a.p jumps up and down in my stomach when I see Hayles" name on the screen.
"You guys done makin" those gross faces? Can I...?" I hold up the phone and they both take the hint, Dad pinchin" Mom"s b.u.t.t on the way out.
Yes, it"s gross *cause it"s my parents, but seein" them together, that"s what love should be like, right?
That"s sappy. I"m goin" soft.
"Hey. What"s up?"
Silence. Nothing. Maybe I didn"t get to it in time.
No wait. There"s a hitched breathing or somethin".
"Hayles?"
Nothing again. Startin" to freak me out. I"m already headed for the car keys.
"Can... can we go to the library?" she whispers.
"Yes." Car keys are now in my hand. Mom and Dad have already made it to their room. I"ll text them or somethin". They probably want to be alone.
"I"m... I"m not at home."
"Where are you?"
She gives me an address, and I run to the kitchen to write it down.
"I"ll be right there."
"Thank you."
"Hayles?"
"Yeah?"
"You okay?"
Silence again. Long enough that I"m in the car and pullin" out of the driveway before she answers.
"Could you hurry?"
Reason 19: Pictures of bleedin" people don"t want to make you puke.
Even flyin" down the road at a speed I didn"t know the Corsica was capable of, I don"t get there as fast I want to. I leave the car runnin" against the curb when I pull up, jump out and sprint to Hayles, who"s sitting drenched in the rain at some decrepit building I"ve never been to or seen, just outside of town.
She doesn"t say anythin", and I don"t either. Just tuck her into my arms and pull her inside the car.
More silence as I climb in next to her, turn up the heat and get her out of wherever it is we are.
I"m scared as h.e.l.l to ask her what"s up. She"s not turnin" on the radio, or putting her feet on the dash, or even cryin". She"s being too quiet for Hayley, and nothin" is coming to my mind about how to break the silence.
After a few minutes, I"m ready to slap on the stereo just to get rid of the tension in the air, but she finally says somethin".
"Thanks."
I glance at her before turning back to the road. She isn"t lookin" at me. "Uh huh."
"You don"t have to stay with me at the library if you don"t want to."
I look at her again. She"s lookin" at me too.
"You still want to go to the library?" I attempt a smile. "Or do you wanna try some video games at my place?"
She laughs, but not a real one. "And risk another power outage?"
I shrug. "Sure."
Her lips press together and she looks back out the window. "Thanks, but I really just... I need to go to the library."
I sigh, turning onto the road that"ll take me there. "Okay, but I"m not leavin" you alone."
"Really, Brody, I can take the bus-"
"I"m not leavin" you."
I know I probably sound like a d.i.c.k, but I"m not goin" to just drop her off after... whatever it is that happened. She"s blushin" and smilin"-a real one-still not looking at me, but I"ll take whatever I can.
There"s more silence during the rest of the drive, the walk into the library, and then more when we go back to the *dead to the world" section. Then she breaks it by tellin" me to save the couch and she"ll be right back.
I throw myself in the seat and kick my legs up to take over the whole thing so no one will sit next to me. Not like they would. Hayles comes back with a big fat book tucked against her chest.
She shoves my feet off the couch and sits cross-legged right next to me, lettin" me put my arm around her shoulders. She opens the book, and my eyes bug out of my skull.
"Uh..."
She giggles. "Yeah, this is what happens to the boys in the Amazon"s Satere Mawe tribe when they become a man."
I choke back the bile risin" in my throat, tryin" to be the macho man, but uh, yeah, not sure if I can handle Bullet Ant Gloves. The poor kid"s hands are so swollen and red, they could be balloon animals. How Hayles is lookin" at this with a big grin on her face, I have no idea, but it makes me feel like a major p.u.s.s.y. I flip the page from the nasty lookin" fingers.
Oh man. The acrophobic in me also can"t handle the kids hangin" from their ankles by vines off of very large cliffs.
"This is called land jumping." Hayles smiles as she smoothes the page. "It says if their head doesn"t touch the ground, it"ll be a bad harvest."
"You mean, they have to bang in their skull?"
"Not if they"re really careful." She winks and flips the page.
I take a deep breath and throw my head back against the cushion. "Okay, so why is that kid shoving an arrow into his tongue?" And why are you showin" me this stuff?
Her b.u.t.t slides closer to mine as she settles the book in my lap. All right, I don"t understand what"s goin" through her head-hate this picture gazing at me, but I can"t help but feel like maybe this is what she needs to fix what"s botherin" her. To look at gross pictures and talk about crazy s.h.i.t.
"Matausa tribe. They think if they get rid of the female blood in them, their mother"s blood, then they"ll attract more women and become braver."
"Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense."
She laughs and shrugs against me. "You"re looking green. Maybe I should put it away?"
"No." I get it. This is what she needs. "Keep goin". It"s fine."
She gives me another once over, in which I try to look comfortable, then she turns the page again.
"Holy c.r.a.p! That kid is naked!"
"Shh!" She"s laughin" at me while pressing a finger to my lips.
"They have this stuff in the library?" I say under her hand.
"Yes. It"s educational. And it"s just a b.u.t.t. I"m sure you"ve seen worse."
"No."
She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Cow jumping. They have to do it naked."
"How do you know all this stuff?"
Her hands graze over the page before she closes the book, leavin" it in my lap. "I read it a lot."
I start running my hand up and down her arm. Her skin pops with goose b.u.mps, and I try to hide the smile formin" on my lips. "Why? You into bizarre stuff like this?"
She doesn"t look at me and keeps her eyes locked on the book in my lap. "I guess life just doesn"t seem so bad sometimes when you see what these people have to do to please their parents."
Bingo. That"s what it is. Her d.a.m.n mom. I thought it might have somethin" to do with the weird building and the frantic phone call.
I squeeze her shoulders, and her head falls onto my chest.
"Brody?"
"Yeah?"
"C-can I... can I hold your hand?"
I chuckle, don"t mean to, but it comes out anyway. I grab her hand with my free one, the book clatterin" to the floor.
"You don"t ever have to ask, Hayles."
Reason 20: If eyes can be hot, yours are smokin".
Mom and Dad are gone. Whole week to myself, and I have nothin" planned till Sat.u.r.day. I"m a Cla.s.s A loser.
And speakin" of Sat.u.r.day, I"m gettin" Hayles" list ready. I"m goin" to memorize it too because I"m not makin" more than one copy. My hand still hurts like h.e.l.l, and I"m not going to type it *cause, well, girls probably don"t want that. They like the handwritten junk.
The list is easier now. After seein" her on Monday and the way she was just so, I dunno, strong but still needed me, everythin" is coming out so much better. She won"t care if I sound stupid or whatever. She"ll get it.
There"s a knock at my front door. I groan as I tuck away the list in my back pocket and trudge upstairs to answer it. Probably some salesman or somethin". And if it"s Gabe, I"ll just slam the door in his face.
Whoever it is, they knock again.
"Okay, okay, I"m comin"!"
I swing the door open, the sound of pounding rain reachin" my ears. Quynn stands under her bright pink umbrella with a huge smile on her face and says, "Hey, Bro! What you up to?"
It takes me a second to wipe the shock from my face. Quynn knows Mom is out of town. She also told me at school that her Spring Break was stock full.
I"m not a fan of the *pop in" either, but I wave her through the door anyway. "Uh, not much. Just hangin" out."
She shakes off her umbrella and sticks it in the entryway before closin" the door shut behind her. I know she"s comfortable here-I get it, but I"m not too happy when she plants her b.u.t.t on the couch without really askin" if she can stay. For some stupid reason, I make sure the list is secure in my pocket before sittin" next to her.
"Thought you said you were pretty busy this week."
She shrugs. "I am. But it"s rainy and I thought since we didn"t get to talk last Friday..." Her voice drifts off as she studies my face. "Oh my gosh, I"m sorry. Did I totally interrupt you doing something?"
She goes to stand, but I put a hand on her arm stoppin" her. Not sure why, though. I don"t want her to stay, but I don"t want her to leave either.
Man, I thought I had this figured out.