May ague twist, an" strike him dumb!
May fairies nip his liver out An" leave him nare a tongue to shout.
Forsaking me, all loansome here With iverything what"s wrong and queer.
From out my winder, where I sit I see the willows round yon pit: Dark Pit where Moller Holmes was found As some said,--accidental drowned!-- But I heard screechin", terrified, About the time he must a died!
Having noa bottom, soa they say; It"s dreadful secrets there must stay Until the Resurrection Day!
Oh where the Devil is that Tom?
I"ll give him "pub" when he gits hoam: The wind is moanin" round that Pit As if somebody wished to flit: There"s Things in there what stirs by night An" if you see, yer hair turns white; Around, they say, the Mandrake grows What"s pulled at dead of night by _those_ Who little care although it screams To wake poor mortals from their dreams.
Our parson tells of Powers Evil: (An" Providence can"t beat the Devil) Where should they laay, but in yon Pit?
What makes me squirl to think on it: All gashly arms a-reachin" out To clamber up yer water spout An" reach you through-- Oh Lor!
_Who"s that?_ "Tis something comin"
I hear _it_ hummin"....
My dear good Tom! Thank G.o.d it"s him!
I was afraid of something grim-- I"ve bin a-wantin" you soa long-- You lousy mawkin", stinkin" strong Of beer an" bacca! Off to bed!
I"ll larn yer, Thomas, who you"ve wed: "Fore morn, you"ll wish as you was dead.
One Day
I read you poems all the day, And all the night I dreamed of you, Wild nightmares riding sweet sleep through, Whilst all the time I longed to say More tenderly, my roundelay, And ardently with verse to woo.
I read you poems all the day; You gave them up again to me, For all the night I seemed to see Your face a vision on my way, As with the murmuring of streams Your voice commingled in my dreams.
I read you poems all the day; Ah! would that you could hear me now!
Accepting the unuttered vow My spirit yearned but dare not say: Yet still though you are far away I read you poems all the day.
No Wife
Tom! Tom! What yer think?
I"ve "ed the Parson"s wife The first time in "er life, acrost our door!
What for?
What for? Why Tom, you"d niver niver guess!
Not if you lived as old as Grammer Bess What"s lately swore She"s a hunder an" four-- _She wants us two, to go off an" git spliced!_
Oh Christ!
What"s got "er now: The cow!
You well may swear; Coz "ow she dare--an" why-- Will make you swear agen, or laugh--surelie!
Just light yer pipe Now you look comfortable--so You"re rough--old Tom--I know-- Black as a crow!
But I"m fond on yer lad As any fool could see!
An" whether we"re good or bad You"ve bin maain good ter me.
But--blast "er silly eyes!
What yer say to "er, then?
I said a lot!
I telled "er what!
A-comin" ere wi" "er fancy airs, "Er what"s never known no cares, Lookin" that wise-- Just coz she catched a Parson!
[An" noa great shaakes ayther-- She"d nowt of a feyther While "er half-brother run away to sea An" took to blue water Wi" their ole cook"s daughter]
"You talk of "sin" an" "shame,"" I sez, "to me?
You talks just like a fool Or a silly bairn at school Coz n.o.body about could doubt, But what we"re happy together him an" me; Just look," I sez, "at any in this street What couple can you find about to beat My Tom an" me what"s bin together years, Happy an" comfortable; Never noa serious trouble-- Nuthin" I mean to set us by the ears-- Good reason why!"
I sez--sez I-- "Coz we"re a free an" equal pair; We got to treat each other fair Or else we part."
Well said now Missus! That were smart!
"To part!" sez she, "lookin" all down her noaz, "Ow could you leave your hoam wi" childer three?"
I sez--sez I--"that dudn"t bother me Coz I can earn enough for food an" cloaz.
I can maintain "em by mysen," sez I, "An" would at any time o" day.
I"m not a slave--an" anyway I"d manage if I "ed to do, I"m not a slave," I sez, "like you!"
You didn"t--Come!--
I did--I did!
I meant it too.
"If your man turns up stunt," sez I, "You can"t goa off, or let him fly; You can"t maintain yoursen--not you!-- Lettin" aloan the bairns, you "aint!"
(That made her squirm all down her back!) ""Ow could you wok up on a stack?
Or yok a hoss or bake or wesh; If your man drinks or starts to thresh You couldn"t leave him coz he holds yer: You"re tied by laws and friends what scolds yer; Yer ain"t like me, as free as air.
I"m not afraid whoever stare, Nayther is Tom!
We minds oursens An" thinks noa more of foaks than hens, Coz if I doant behave mysen-- Or him-- We parts!-- Why doant we?
Why?
Becoz we"re free an" happy here, Becoz we treats each other fair!"
You giv "er the rough o" yer tongue, old gel, But--what a sell!
Comin" "ere to ride rough shod Coz she"s a "wife."
Why--bless my life She doesn"t know she"s born; She couldn"t find her own corn!
I sent "er off wi" a flea in "er ear!
An" will again if she dost come near!
But she weant!
The white faced critter-- Wi" a noaz like a knife An" a smile that bitter As if she would kill.
A wife!
What does she know of life?-- Nowt!
Nor ever will!-- But tomorrer"s Sunday An" we"ll go to Church!
What?
Yes! Just for once; an" sit together, Like birds of a feather!
We aint ashamed to show our faces To them what thinks we be disgraces.
We"ll goa together Tom--for sure We"ll goa this once an" then noa more-- If you be willin"?
Aye la.s.s--I"m willin"-- I"ll back you up as I"ve allers done, Agen Parson"s wife or anyone.