Reborn as my Love Rival’s Wife

There was once a very hot debate on the internet before:

If you woke up one day in the morning and discovered that your body had changed into the opposite s.e.x, what would be your first reaction?

An internet user gave out a very famous answer:

Younger brothers, first molest yourself a bit!

Su Jian remembered that when he had first read this comment, he slammed the table and exclaimed: Good brother, well said!

But now, when he really faced such a strange situation, he could only feel extremely ball ached and shake in fear, grief, and resentment: f.u.c.kING b.a.s.t.a.r.d! f.u.c.k it all! f.u.c.k you!

Eh, let’s correct it a bit. The words used above were slightly wrong, because our pitiful student Su Jian already no longer had a d.i.c.k.

…

Su Jian recalled that he had gotten into a car accident.

The situation had been extremely desperate, and Su Jian had believed that he would surely die.

He didn’t know how much time had pa.s.sed, and opening his eyes with great effort, he saw a pure white ceiling.

In the beginning, he had thought that he was in heaven. He joked inside his head: This heaven is so white, lol, it seems to look like a hospital?

Once his eyes had fully adjusted, he was taken aback: f.u.c.k, isn’t this really a hospital, ah!

Su Jian was immediately overjoyed. Looks like he had great fortune and fate, to have come back from the gates of h.e.l.l.

But after having been excited for a while, Su Jian recalled another matter. This should have been dead but not dead, by all means must not have turned into a disabled person, otherwise that would be just too deceptive!

So, he immediately pulled up his blanket to check his body. Luckily, the arms and legs seemed to be okay, though there was a bandage on the thigh, but it wasn’t that serious, though it seemed like they were missing a kilogram. In addition, when he tried to move a bit, although it hurt, luckily there was still feeling. He truly wasn’t disabled. Looking at it, he seemed to just have a fracture, and there weren’t any big problems. Because of lack of nutrients, his legs seemed to have become more slender by no little amount, and Su Jian anxiously thought: Perhaps my muscles have begun to atrophy from lying down for too long? Taking another look, even his luxurious and dense leg hair had disappeared……

Su Jian relaxed as he let out a sigh of relief, returning to lying back down on his hospital bed, and with a large sound, stretched out his four limbs, feeling the sunlight illuminating him. After this calamity, I neither died nor did I end up disabled, my future will certainly be filled with great fortune, wa hahaha!

Su Jian had opened his mouth to laugh foolishly when his brows suddenly wrinkled together. He felt that his face was a bit ticklish, reaching out his hand to feel; so it was just a strand of long hair. Su Jian didn’t really pay it any mind, grabbing at it with his fingers to throw it away. Unexpectedly that hair wasn’t thrown away, but instead seemed to pull at his scalp, almost like the slight pain of pins poking at him.

Su Jian stared blankly, distractedly reaching his hand out. Sure enough, he grabbed a handful of jet-black and glossy long hair, immediately feeling dumbfounded. As it turns out, that hair was actually his own? However, since when had his hair been this long? Could it be that he had already been unconscious for two or three years?

He furrowed his brows deeply, suddenly trembling. What’s that, the arc protruding from his upper chest, was there something wrong? Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait! Your mother, why the f.u.c.k do I have b.o.o.bs?!

He clawed at his trembling heart, pressing down on this chest.

Velvety soft and big……

In a split second, Su Jian began to panic. f.u.c.k! This can’t be true, right? This was side effects from the coma, or side effects from the medicine a? Brother, my eyes just closed then opened, and my chest grew by this much? This would be good news for a flat chested younger sister, but for I, this great grandfather, isn’t this too much like a horror movie a!

Su Jian quickly untied his hospital gown, only to see the two b.r.e.a.s.t.s, left and right each, both perfectly round and plump, both fair and tender and delicate. Estimating with his eyes, they were roughly 34C. This seemed like the ones that he had seen on those female j.a.panese AV actors that he could only yearn to touch in his dreams. But, for those b.r.e.a.s.t.s that he could only yearn for in his dreams to appear on his body……

Su Jian had the urge to flip over a table and hiss: Your mother, instead of it being deceptive, it’s super f.u.c.king deceptive!

He pulled his pants out. He had already felt chilled in his heart, and now felt deathly cold —— this, what, what, what…… who, who, who will come and tell him what’s going on! Is it that he saw wrong? This must be a hallucination right? Or was it that he had actually injured his eyes? Why, why, why, why is it that he didn’t catch sight of his family’s “little Su Jian”!

Su Jian trembled as he cautiously shot another glance at the s.p.a.ce between his two legs.

The sky has collapsed! The earth has split apart!

Your mother, your mother, your mother! His family’s chicken is gone! His eggs are also gone!

Su Jian felt that his heart had a whole flock of gra.s.s mud horses whistling by, trampling on his heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidney the whole way……

(E/N: gra.s.s mud horse – 草泥马 cao ni ma – phonetic equivalent to “f.u.c.k your mother!”, used in order to avoid censors.h.i.+p in China)

Translated by Moonlight Translations Team

This clearly explained how terrible the accident was, how could he have left unscathed! Previously his arms and legs didn’t have any deficiencies; it seemed that the deficiency had been here a! He is a man, but unexpectedly the chicken had flown the coop and all the eggs were broken! The Heavens must be playing with him right? Playing with him, playing with him……

Hold on! This is wrong!

Su Jian trembled as he slowly reached down to explore the residence of the flown away chicken and broken eggs.

After a moment, his hand suddenly withdrew back, his heart shaking violently.

He stared, horrified, at his tender white legs that had shrunk no little amount, wide-eyed all the way to his delicate and long fingers and hands, that had also shrunk no little amount.

Slender legs without any leg hair, a head of long hair, big b.o.o.bs, broken eggs and a flown away chicken, and small hands and feet……

Su Jian felt that he was in a very, very realistic nightmare.

He sucked in a deep breath, closed his eyes shut, and with great effort told himself: This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real……

He opened his eyes. b.r.e.a.s.t.s, still so round, chicken, still so far.

(E/N: this is funnier in Chinese because round – 圆 yuan – and far – 远 yuan – are roughly same p.r.o.nunciation, but with different tones)

Translated by Moonlight Translations Team

Su Jian thought, life, how hard it is a……

The next moment, his heart burst and his lungs tore as his scream resounded through the room:

“Mirror! Mirror! I want a mirror!”

Even though the shout was rough and desperate, the voice that came out was a terrifying fragile and piercing sound.

Su Jian’s whole body shook as he thought if it wasn’t this entire world that had gone crazy, then it must be him who was the one who had gone crazy.

Hearing the shout, a nurse quickly came in.

Although Su Jian’s request for a mirror was strange, the nurse still helped search for a mirror for him. Because she believed that he was worried he might have been disfigured, while handing him the mirror from one side she comforted him in a soft voice: “Mrs. An, please be a.s.sured, your face hasn’t been injured and is still as pretty as before.”

Su Jian, when faced with this consoling, felt even more like crying.

He trembled as he slowly took the mirror and held it up. The next moment, he had turned completely frozen.

Objectively speaking, the face in the mirror was truly not bad. Big eyes with long lashes and an oval face with cherry-like lips. The skin especially was both white and tender, with not even a single pore to be seen. This kind of beautiful person, who was so beautiful even without makeup, in these times was truly rare. Especially when these facial features came together, it became elegant and graceful, yet also cute and lovely. It turns out, it was exactly his type of face, and if this was a normal situation, he would definitely have been excited, balling his hands into fists and shouting out in a loud voice: “Moe!”

But now, this face was on him……

The mirror quietly slipped out of Su Jian’s hand.

Seeing Su Jian’s lifeless face and soulless eyes, the nurse couldn’t help but say anxiously: “Mrs. An, what’s wrong?”

Su Jian slowly turned his gaze toward her, speaking one word at a time: “Who, am, I?”

The worry on the nurse’s face thickened: “You…… you’re Mrs. An, a, after you were in a car accident, your right leg was fractured, but you don’t need to worry. You’ve already been operated on, and now you only need to recuperate properly to completely recover, with no need to fear any side effects.”

“My…… last name is……. An?” Su Jian’s facial expression and voice were both faintly discernable.

The nurse stared blankly. Although she felt it was weird, she continued to patiently explain: “Your family name isn’t An, your husband’s family name is An……”

Hearing the words “husband”, Su Jian couldn’t help but tremble again……

“Then…… what is my name?”

The nurse clearly felt that there was something wrong: “Your last name is Su, called Su Jian…… Mrs. An, do you have any places where you’re not feeling well?”

Not feeling well? Far from not feeling well! I, your father, is feeling severe pain in my heart! I, your father, am a handsome and healthy man, what the f.u.c.k is this “husband”!

Su Jian restrained himself with great effort, squeezing out a smile that was even uglier than crying: “I seem…… to not remember anything.”

The nurse was somewhat shocked, before immediately saying in a hurry: “You first don’t worry, I’ll go call a doctor right now.”

Su Jian sorrowfully thought, what use was calling a doctor? A doctor can fix arms, can fix legs, but can a doctor deal with this issue of changing from a man to a lovable young lady after waking up? This issue was for G.o.d, Allah, Tathagata, and Buddha to deal with right?

Seeing the nurse quickly maker her way toward the door, Su Jian hugged his blanket silently. This was too horrifying, he still had to digest, digest……

“What’s going on?”

Suddenly by the entrance, there was the deep and low sound of a man’s voice.

“Ah, Mr. An, you came! Just now Mrs. An said that she doesn’t seem to remember anything.” The nurse explained.

Mr. An? With a fright, Su Jian quickly raised his head. Before, the nurse had said that his “husband” was the one with the surname An, then shouldn’t the person who had just arrived be this body’s “hubby”?

The man who had arrived stopped at the door to listen to the nurse, his brows furrowing until the s.p.a.ce between them was minuscule. He raised his eyes to look in Su Jian’s direction, just in time to come into contact with Su Jian’s own gaze.

In a split second, Su Jian’s eyes widened as he sucked in a breath of cold air.

Just speaking of the appearance, this man was definitely the type who belong in the category of male prost.i.tutes that charged a fee based on each second spent.

Even though Su Jian was a handsome man, he often treated this type of man that represents the “tall, rich, and handsome” saying with anger and disdain. But this definitely wasn’t the reason for his shock and ball-aching, e, that needs to be altered – the reason for his shock and nonexistent limb aching pain.

Su Jian’s two eyes turned as round and large as Longans, thunder rolling in his inner heart. This wasn’t even a gra.s.s mud horse running in the Gobi desert of Mongolia, it was already a legion of mythological beasts hiding the sky and covering the earth roaring in his heart. He had already felt an infinite amount of shock, despair, and rage, but now he was frightened to the point that he was about to pee himself.

f.u.c.k! Who would come to tell him that this was just a f.u.c.king dream, just a dream! Your mother waking up from sleep to only have become a woman was horrifying enough, but for what reason, for what reason, did this woman’s hubby have to be this Su Jian’s evil foe and rival in love, An Yi Ze!