[Smiles tenderly herself.
GROSSMAN. I saw phosph.o.r.escent light, and objects changed their places, but I saw nothing more than that.
FAT LADY. Don"t tell me! You don"t mean it! It is simply that you scientists of Charcot"s school do not believe in a life beyond the grave! As for me, no one could now make me disbelieve in a future life--no one in the world!
[GROSSMAN moves away from her.
FAT LADY. No, no, whatever you may say, this is one of the happiest moments of my life! When I heard Sarasate play, and now.... Yes! (No one listens to her. She goes up to SIMON.) Now tell me, my friend, what did you feel? Was it very trying?
SIMON (laughs). Yes, ma"m, just so.
FAT LADY. Still not unendurable?
SIMON. Just so, ma"m. (To LEONiD FYoDORITCH.) Am I to go?
LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Yes, you may go.
DOCTOR (to the PROFESSOR). The pulse is the same, but the temperature is lower.
PROFESSOR. Lower! (Considers awhile, then suddenly divines the conclusion.) It had to be so--it had to descend! The dual influence crossing had to produce some kind of reflex action. Yes, that"s it!
[Exeunt, all talking at once--
LEONiD FYoDORITCH. I"m only sorry we had no complete materialisation. But still.... Come, gentlemen, let us go to the drawing-room?
FAT LADY. What specially struck me was when he flapped his wings, and one saw how he rose!
GROSSMAN (to SAHaTOF). If we had kept to hypnotism, we might have produced a thorough state of epilepsy. The success might have been complete!
SAHaTOF. It is very interesting, but not entirely convincing. That is all I can say.
[Enter THEODORE IVaNITCH.
LEONiD FYoDORITCH (with paper in his hand). Ah, Theodore, what a remarkable seance we have had! It turns out that the peasants must have the land on their own terms.
THEODORE IVaNITCH. Dear me!
LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Yes, indeed. (Showing paper.) Fancy, this paper that I returned to them, suddenly appeared on the table! I have signed it.
THEODORE IVaNITCH. How did it get there?
LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Well, it did get there!
[Exit. THEODORE IVaNITCH follows him out.
TaNYA (gets from under the sofa and laughs). Oh, dear, oh dear! Well, I did get a fright when he got hold of the thread! (Shrieks.) Well, anyhow, it"s all right--he has signed it!
[Enter GREGORY.
GREGORY. So it was you that was fooling them?
TaNYA. What business is it of yours?
GREGORY. And do you think the missis will be pleased with you for it?
No, you bet; you"re caught now! I"ll tell them what tricks you"re up to, if you don"t let me have my way!
TaNYA. And you"ll not get your way, and you"ll not do me any harm!
CURTAIN
ACT IV
The same scene as in Act I. The next day. Two liveried footmen, THEODORE IVaNITCH and GREGORY.
FIRST FOOTMAN (with grey whiskers). Yours is the third house to-day.
Thank goodness that all the at-homes are in this direction. Yours used to be on Thursdays.
THEODORE IVaNITCH. Yes, we changed to Sat.u.r.day so as to be on the same day as the Golovkins and Grade von Grabes....
SECOND FOOTMAN. The Stcherbakofs do the thing well. There"s refreshments for the footmen every time they"ve a ball.
[The two PRINCESSES, mother and daughter, come down the stairs accompanied by BETSY. The old PRINCESS looks in her note-book and at her watch, and sits down on the settle. GREGORY puts on her overshoes.
YOUNG PRINCESS. Now, do come. Because, if you refuse, and Dodo refuses, the whole thing will be spoilt.
BETSY. I don"t know. I must certainly go to the s...o...b..ns. And then there is the rehearsal.
YOUNG PRINCESS. You"ll have plenty of time. Do, please. Ne nous fais pas faux bond.[13] Fedya and Koko will come.
BETSY. J"en ai par-dessus la tete de votre Koko.[14]
YOUNG PRINCESS. I thought I should see him here. Ordinairement il est d"une exact.i.tude....[15]
BETSY. He is sure to come.
YOUNG PRINCESS. When I see you together, it always seems to me that he has either just proposed or is just going to propose.
BETSY. Yes, I don"t suppose it can be avoided. I shall have to go through with it. And it is so unpleasant!
YOUNG PRINCESS. Poor Koko! He is head over ears in love.
BETSY. Cessez, les gens![16]
[YOUNG PRINCESS sits down, talking in whispers. GREGORY puts on her overshoes.
YOUNG PRINCESS. Well then, good-bye till this evening.