Another contraction hit, and Kari thought she might pa.s.s out from the pain. The doctor gripped her hand as she rode it out. Then he angled his head, studying her tear-streaked face. "You okay?"
Kari nodded. "I"m ready to meet my baby."
He grinned. "That"s a girl. Listen, you have some family out in the hall. Shall I let them in?"
"Sure." She tried to smile.
When the door opened, Ashley and Cole filed in with her parents. They were followed by Brooke and Peter, both wearing their white coats and ear-to-ear grins. Behind them was Erin with word that Sam would be by later, and at the end of the line was Luke with an entire bouquet of white roses. They gathered 342 around her bed, laying their hands on her knees and shoulders and smoothing stray pieces of hair off her sweaty face.
The pains were coming faster, harder, and under normal circ.u.mstances Kari knew she would not have wanted company. But these were the people she loved, her family-the ones who had stood by her all her life, whether they agreed with her or not. As long as they were willing to be there, she would not consider asking them to leave. Besides, they wouldn"t stay long. They had planned that only her mother would stay with her through the delivery.
The group was quiet, all eyes on Kari, when her dad cleared his throat and took her hand. "We didn"t want you to be alone in here."
Kari swallowed and waited until she could speak. "Thanks." "They came as soon as I called." John glanced at the faces. His chin quivered as he looked back at Kari. "No matter how long it takes, we"ll be outside the door if you need anything."
She nodded, unable to do anything but groan as another wave of pain crashed over her. When it pa.s.sed she met the eyes of each of her family members, her breathing labored, sweat beading on her forehead. "I love you guys."
There were smiles and whispers of "We love you too" all around her, and again her father took control. "We need to go. Let"s pray for Kari and the baby."
Everyone nodded and no one, not even Ashley or Brooke or Peter, showed any signs of hesitation. One by one they joined hands until the only broken link was between Luke and Ashley, who happened to be standing next to each other. Finally Luke smiled at his middle sister and reached out his hand. And with that the circle was complete. Tears shone in every eye, and Kari felt her heart lift at the love she felt amidst her family.
Her father looked at each of them, one at a time, then bowed his head. "Lord, you are gracious and merciful in all things, even this, the pain of new life.
Father, we ask you to let the baby come quickly and without stress or trouble of any kind, and we pray 343 0.
that you keep both Kari and her child safe in the process." His voice cracked, and Kari felt the familiar wetness fall upon her face. She knew her father must have been deeply touched by the way they"d all come together here. Especially Luke and Ashley. "I"ve prayed it a million times before, Lord, but let me say it again. Thank you for my family. Other than you, Father, they"re the most important part of my life."
Almost as soon as the prayer ended, Kari jerked into another contraction, and this time her dad motioned for the nurse to join them. The woman entered the already crowded room and checked the readouts from the monitor. "Okay, Kari, I think it"s time."
The others filed out of the room-all except her mother, who held her hand and walked beside her as she was moved into the delivery room. Kari was grateful they had planned it this way.
The final phase of labor seemed much shorter than the first, and within thirty minutes the doctor was urging her to push one last time. As she did, Kari felt a great sense of relief. Seconds later the room was filled with the bleating sound of a beautiful, newborn cry.
"Congratulations, Kari." The doctor held up the squirming baby, and Kari could hardly believe it was really happening. "It"s a girl."
A cry escaped from Kari"s throat. She fell back exhausted, overwhelmed, elated.
Her mother was at her side, squeezing her hand and kissing her forehead. "Oh, sweetheart, she"s beautiful."
"I knew she was a girl. G.o.d told me months ago." Kari smiled and noticed that she was no longer crying. Instead, an unspeakable joy coursed through her heart and soul, a joy of relief and awe and amazement at the miracle of life.
"There"s something very special about a daughter." Her mother brought her face up against Kari"s. "I remember exactly what you"re feeling now." She paused, and her happy tears felt damp against Kari"s cheek. "Now you know why I love you so much." "Her name"s Jessie Renee."
344 "That"s beautiful, Kari. Your great-grandmother would have loved her."
A delivery-room nurse appeared at her bedside with the infant clean and wrapped in a blanket. "Thought you might like to meet your daughter."
Gently, as if the baby might be made of gla.s.s, Kari took her and held her close.
"Oh, Mom ... there"s nothing like it. I can"t believe how she feels in my arms."
Kari stared at her tiny daughter, awed by her. She had been wrong the night of Tim"s death. The best part of life wasn"t over. Hope lived on-her baby girl was living proof.
G.o.d"s plans for her were not dead; they had merely been revised, made new.
As new as the precious life in her arms.
Strange sounds filled the morning air, but Kari couldn"t force her eyes open.
What was it? Almost like someone was singing ... no, humming ... right here in her hospital room.
The tune was familiar, and though she was still half asleep, she finally recognized it.
Great is Thy faithfulness, to G.o.d my Father, There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compa.s.sions they fail not; As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
The humming became clearer still, and Kari figured her father must be in the room. It was his favorite hymn, the one he always sang when G.o.d"s hand was so clearly at work among them. The humming continued into the chorus, and since Kari was almost fully awake, she joined in.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
345 Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
She opened her eyes then, and her heart stopped. How did he ... ? Who"d told him about ... ? It wasn"t possible.
The man sitting in the chair beside her, rocking little Jessie as carefully as if she were his own, was not John Baxter.
It was Ryan Taylor.
Kari"s heartbeat returned, and she stared at him, unable to speak.
"She"s beautiful, Kari." He smiled at the baby through wet eyes. "She looks just like you."
Kari blinked so she could see through her own tears. "Ryan ... I don"t ... how"d you know?"
"My mom told me about Tim." He gazed down at the infant and kissed her downy forehead. "I made her promise to tell me when the baby came, and I guess she talked to your dad. He called yesterday around noon, after Jessie was born." He looked up and met her eyes. "I caught a flight a few hours later."
She studied him, not sure she understood. "Why?"
He ran a big finger delicately along the baby"s brow and looked from Kari to little Jessie and back. "A long time ago you told me something I"ll never forget."
"I did?" Kari"s heart was beating almost out of her chest, and she couldn"t keep up with the emotions that a.s.saulted her. Ryan nodded. "You told me love is a decision." He paused and glanced at her tiny daughter. "I thought I loved you, Kari." His eyes found hers again. "But it was a selfish love. Not the kind of love that honored you.
Definitely not the kind of love you had for Tim."
She watched his eyes fill up again, and hers did the same. Finally he swallowed and found his voice. "After you went back to Tim, I had a little chat with G.o.d and realized you were right. Love-real love-is a decision." He nodded once. "So I decided 346 then and there I was going to love you the way you wanted to be loved. And that meant letting you go."
The baby stirred. Ryan adjusted his position and spoke in little more than a whisper. "It was a decision to-" His voice broke, and he hung his head for a minute as a single tear fell onto Jessie"s cheek. Ryan sucked in a quick breath and wiped the wet spot with his thumb. Then he looked up at Kari. "A decision to love you in a way that nearly killed me."
There it was.
His real feelings were out in the open, and she could think of nothing to say.
The loss of Tim was still too raw, too recent, for Kari to even begin reading her heart on all she felt now in Ryan"s presence.
Ryan"s face grew more serious, and he blinked back another tear. "I"m sorry about Tim. That"s not how ..." He inhaled sharply and stared at the ceiling for a moment before returning his attention to Kari. "I"m sorry."
The tears flowed freely down Kari"s cheeks now, and she nodded. "Me too. We were ... we were moving in the right direction." They were quiet awhile. Eventually Ryan looked down at the baby and allowed himself a crooked smile. "She"s perfect. A complete miracle."
Kari waited a minute, her eyes fixed on her little girl"s- dainty features. "So ... you"re in New York?"
"Yes." He c.o.c.ked his head, studying her. "Coaching the Giants." She nodded.
"That"s what I heard." Her mind searched for something neutral to say. "How"s it going.?"
"It"s good." He smiled sadly. "I miss home, but you know I"ve always wanted to coach at that level."
She sank back against her pillow and soaked in the sight of him-strong and handsome and familiar, cradling her newborn with awkward tenderness. Her heart refused to do any more than that; the possibilities on either side of her private path of pain were more than she could consider. It was too soon or 347 maybe too late ever to go back. Either way, this was neither the time nor place to consider what might lie ahead.
Besides, Ryan"s life was in New York now, and hers was here with her family.
Where it would always be.
She forced her emotions into check. "When do you go back?" "I took a week off.
If it"s okay, I thought I might help you get settled or something." He grinned.
"You know, leap tall buildings, change diapers, that sort of thing."
She smiled, sad and thoughtful, and glanced at the plush toy eagle, the one Tim had bought before he was killed, nestled at the foot of Jessie"s hospital crib.
He should have been here, should have been sitting across from her holding their daughter, cooing at her.
Kari closed her eyes for a moment. Somehow, someway, Tim was there, smiling down at them from his place in heaven, his place of redemption.
The thought filled her with equal parts of peace and pain. "Tim was so excited about the baby. We were learning...." Ryan had no answer, just listened. Watched her face. Waited for her to say more.
All she could manage was small talk. "I"m keeping the house." She gazed briefly at little Jessie. "I"ll stay at my parents" for a few weeks, but when I"m back on my feet, the baby and I will go home."
Ryan leaned forward in the padded hospital chair, carefully balancing the sleeping child. "It"ll take time. Getting on with life again."
She sniffed. "Yes."
His eyes grew dim, glazed with things he wasn"t saying, feelings he knew better than to express. He blinked and the moment pa.s.sed.
"Well, Kari girl-" he gave her a half-smile-"the way I see it, you could use a friend. Someone to listen and take walks with. Maybe hold the bottle when you"re feeling tired." He shrugged. "At least until I leave."
348 A dozen questions came to her mind at the possibility, but the lump in her throat was too thick to voice them all. Instead, she smiled through her tears and asked the only one that mattered. "Then what?"
Ryan reached out and gently ma.s.saged the tips of her fingers. "I"ll always be a phone call away. Whenever you need me, Kari. No matter how many miles are between us, I"ll be here for you."
Kari waited a moment, studying him, feeling safe and protected as she always did with him. "I"d like that."
She pictured the coming days-she and her daughter going home to the temporary nursery set up at her parents" house, having Ryan stop in to visit and watching him hold Jessie, sharing these tender next few days with him.
Saying good-bye at the end of the week.
She locked eyes with him, remembering the pa.s.sages of time they"d walked through together. All her life she"d been saying good-bye to Ryan Taylor. This would be just one more.
She sighed.
As with so many times before, there was no way to predict what tomorrow held for either of them. In some ways they"d come full circle. And though they might not see each other again for a month or even a year, Ryan was right. He would be there for her.
And somehow ... somehow for today that would be enough.
349 MORE ABOUT THE Baxter FAMILY Please turn this page for a bonus excerpt from REMEMBER the second book in the REDEMPTION SERIES.
by Gary Smalley and Karen Kingsbury 350.
350.
351 From REMEMBER
by Gary Smalley and Karen Kingsbury
CHAPTER ONE.
DR. JOHN Baxter GOT news of the apartment fire the moment he arrived at St.
Anne"s Hospital this afternoon. An emergency-room nurse flagged him down, her face stricken.
"Stay near by. We might need you. An apartment complex is burning to the ground.
A couple of families trapped inside. At least two fatalities already."