Because lightning doesn"t strike twice, Jane thought grimly, but she said nothing. That was the last time she attended group.That night her father had a phone call. He took the phone and sat at the dining table, listening; after a moment stood and walked into his study, giving a quick backward glance at his daughter before closing the door behind him. Jane felt as though her chest had suddenly frozen, but after some minutes she heard her father"s laugh; he was not, after all, talking to the police detective. When after half an hour he returned, he gave Janie another quick look, more thoughtful this time.
"That was Andrew." Andrew was a doctor friend of his, an Englishman. "He and Fred are going to Provence for three months. They were wondering if you might want to house-sit for them."
"In LondonT" Jane"s mother shook her head. "I don"t think-"
"I said we"d think about it."
"I"ll think about it," Janie corrected him. She stared at both her parents, absently ran a finger along one eyebrow. "Just let me think about it."
And she went to bed.
She went to London. She already had a pa.s.sport, from visiting Andrew with her parents when she was in high school. Before she left there were countless arguments with her mother and father, and phone calls back and forth to Andrew. He a.s.sured them that the flat was secure, there was a very nice reliable older woman who lived upstairs, that it would be a good idea for Janie to get out on her own again.
"So you don"t get gun-shy," he said to her one night on the phone. He was a doctor, after all: a homeopath not an allopath, which Janie found rea.s.suring. "It"s important for you to get on with our life. You won"t be able to get a real job here as a visitor, but I"ll see what I can do."
It was on the plane to Heathrow that she made a discovery. She had splashed water onto her face, and was beginning to comb her hair when she blinked and stared into the mirror.
Above her eyebrows, the long hairs had grown back. They followed the contours of her brow, sweeping back toward her temples; still entwined, still difficult to make out unless she drew her face close to her reflection and tilted her head just so. Tentatively she touched one braided strand. It was stiff yet oddly pliant; but as she ran her finger along its length a sudden surge flowed through her. Not an electrical shock: more like the thrill of pain when a dentist"s drill touches a nerve, or an elbow rams against a stone. She gasped; but immediately the pain was gone. Instead there was a thrumming behind her forehead, a spreading warmth that trickled into her throat like sweet syrup. She opened her mouth, her gasp turning into an uncontrollable yawn, the yawn into a spike of such profound physical ecstasy that she grabbed the edge of the sink and thrust forward, striking her head against the mirror. She was dimly aware of someone knocking at the lavatory door as she clutched the sink and, shuddering, climaxed.
"h.e.l.lo?" someone called softly. "h.e.l.lo, is this occupied?" "Right out," Janie gasped. She caught her breath, still trembling; ran a hand across her face, her finger halting before they could touch the hairs above her eyebrows. There was the faintest tingling, a temblor of sensation that faded as she grabbed her cosmetic bag, pulled the door open, and stumbled back into the cabin.Andrew and Fred lived in an old Georgian row house just west of Camden Town, overlooking the Regent"s Ca.n.a.l. Their flat occupied the first floor and bas.e.m.e.nt; there was a hexagonal solarium out back, with gla.s.s walls and heated stone floor, and beyond that a stepped terrace leading down to the ca.n.a.l. The bedroom had an old wooden four-poster piled high with duvets and down pillows, and French doors that also opened onto the terrace.
Andrew showed her how to operate the elaborate sliding security doors that unfolded from the walls, and gave her the keys to the barred window guards.
"You"re completely safe here," he said, smiling. "Tomorrow we"ll introduce you to Kendra upstairs and show you how to get around. Camden Market"s just down that way, and that way-"
He stepped out onto the terrace, pointing to where the ca.n.a.l coiled and disappeared beneath an arched stone bridge. "-that way"s the Regent"s Park Zoo. I"ve given you a membership-"
"Oh! Thank you!" Janie looked around delighted. "This is wonderful."
"It is." Andrew put an arm around her and drew her close. "You"re going to have a wonderful time, Janie. I thought you"d like the zoo-there"s a new exhibit there, "The World Within" or words to that effect-it"s about insects. I thought perhaps you might want to volunteer there- they have an active decent program, and you"re so knowledgeable about that sort of thing."
"Sure. It sounds great-really great." She grinned and smoothed her hair back from her face, the wind sending up the rank scent of stagnant water from the ca.n.a.l, the sweetly poisonous smell of hawthorn blossom.
As she stood gazing down past the potted geraniums and Fred"s rosemary trees, the hairs upon her brow trembled, and she laughed out loud, giddily, with antic.i.p.ation.
Fred and Andrew left two days later. It was enough time for Janie to get over her jet lag and begin to get barely acclimated to the city, and to its smell. London had an acrid scent: damp ashes, the softer underlying fetor of rot that oozed from ancient bricks and stone buildings, the thick vegetative smell of the ca.n.a.l, sharpened with urine and spilled beer. So many thousands of people descended on Camden Town on the weekend that the tube station was restricted to incoming pa.s.sengers, and the ca.n.a.l path became almost impa.s.sable. Even late on a weeknight she could hear voices from the other side of the ca.n.a.l, harsh London voices echoing beneath the bridges or shouting to be heard above the din of the Northern Line trains pa.s.sing overhead.
Those first days Janie did not venture far from the flat. She unpacked her clothes, which did not take much time, and then unpacked her collecting box, which did. The st.u.r.dy wooden case had come through the overseas flight and customs seemingly unscathed, but Janie found herself holding her breath as she undid the metal hinges, afraid of what she"d find inside.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. Relief, not chagrin: nothing had been damaged. The small gla.s.s vials of ethyl alcohol and gel sh.e.l.lac were intact, and the pillboxes where she kept the tiny #2 pins she used for mounting. Fighting her own eagerness, she carefully removed packets of stiff archival paper; a block of Styrofoam covered with pinholes; two bottles of clear Maybelline nail polish and a small container of Elmer"s Glue-All; more pillboxes, empty, and empty gelatine capsules for very small specimens; and last of all a small gla.s.s-fronted display box, framed in mahogany and holding her most precious specimen: a hybrid Celerio harmuthikordesch, the male crossbreed of the spurge and elephant hawkmoths. As long as the first joint of her thumb, it had the hawkmoth"s typically streamlined wings but exquisitely delicate coloring, fuchsia bands shading to a soft rich brown, its thorax thick and seemingly feathered.
Only a handful of these hybrid moths had ever existed, bred by the Prague entomologist Jan Pokorny in 1961; a few years afterward, both the spurge hawkmoth and the elephant hawkmoth had become extinct.
Janie had found this one for sale on the Internet three months ago. It was a former museum specimen and cost a fortune; she had a few bad nights, worrying whether it had actually been a legal purchase. Now she held the display box in her cupped palms and gazed at it raptly.
Behind her eyes she felt a p.r.i.c.kle, like sleep or unshed tears; then a slow thrumming warmth crept from her brows, spreading to her temples, down her neck and through her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, spreading like a stain. She swallowed, leaned back against the sofa, and let the display box rest back within the larger case; slid first one hand and then the other beneath her sweater and began to stroke her nipples. When some time later she came it was with stabbing force and a thunderous sensation above her eyes, as though she had struck her forehead against the floor.
She had not; gasping, she pushed the hair from her face, zipped her jeans, and reflexively leaned forward, to make certain the hawkmoth in its gla.s.s box was safe.
Over the following days she made a few brief forays to the newsagent and greengrocer, trying to eke out the supplies Fred and Andrew had left in the kitchen. She sat in the solarium, her bare feet warm against the heated stone floor, and drank chamomile tea or claret, staring down to where the ceaseless stream of people pa.s.sed along the ca.n.a.l path, and watching the narrow boats as they piled their way slowly between Camden Lock and Little Venice, two miles to the west in Paddington. By the following Wednesday she felt brave enough, and bored enough, to leave her refuge and visit the zoo.
It was a short walk along the ca.n.a.l, dodging bicyclists who jingled their bells impatiently when she forgot to stay on the proper side of the path. She pa.s.sed beneath several arching bridges, their undersides pleated with slime and moss. Drunks sprawled against the stones and stared at her blearily or challengingly by turns; well-dressed couples walked dogs, and there were excited knots of children, tugging their parents on to the zoo.
Fred had walked here with Janie, to show her the way. But it all looked unfamiliar now.
She kept a few strides behind a family, her head down, trying not to look as though she was following them; and felt a pulse of relief when they reached a twisting stair with an arrowed sign at its top.
REGENT"S PARK ZOO.
There was an old old church across the street, its yellow stone walls overgrown with ivy, and down and around the corner a long stretch of hedges with high iron walls fronting them, and at last a huge set of gates, crammed with children and vendors selling balloons and banners and London guidebooks. Janie lifted her head and walked quickly past the family that had led her here, showed her membership card at the entrance, and went inside.
She wasted no time on the seals or tigers or monkeys, but went straight to the newly renovated structure where a multicolored banner flapped in the late-morning breeze.AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: SECRETS OF THE INSECT WORLD.
Inside, crowds of schoolchildren and hara.s.sed-looking adults formed a ragged queue that trailed through a brightly lit corridor, its walls covered with huge glossy color photos and computer-enhanced images of hissing c.o.c.kroaches, h.e.l.lgrammites, morpho b.u.t.terflies, deathwatch beetles, polyphemous moths. Janie dutifully joined the queue, but when the corridor opened into a vast sunlit atrium she strode off on her own, leaving the children and teachers to gape at monarchs in b.u.t.terfly cages and an interactive display of honeybees dancing. Instead she found a relatively quiet display at the far end of the exhibition s.p.a.ce, a floor-to-ceiling cylinder of transparent net, perhaps six feet in diameter. Inside, buckthorn bushes and blooming hawthorn vied for sunlight with a slender beech sapling, and dozens of b.u.t.terflies flitted upward through the new yellow leaves, or sat with wings outstretched upon the beech tree.
They were a type of Pieridae, the b.u.t.terflies known as whites; though these were not white at all. The females had creamy yellow-green wings, very pale, their wingspans perhaps an inch and a half. The males were the same size; when they were at rest their flattened wings were a dull, rather sulphurous color. But when the males lit into the air, their wings revealed vivid, spectral yellow undersides. Janie caught her breath in delight, her neck p.r.i.c.kling with that same atavistic joy she"d felt as a child in the attic.
"Wow," she breathed, and pressed up against the netting. It felt like wings against her face, soft, webbed; but as she stared at the insects inside, her brow began to ache as with migraine.
She shoved her gla.s.ses onto her nose, closed her eyes, and drew a long breath; then she took a step away from the cage. After a minute she opened her eyes. The headache had diminished to a dull throb; when she hesitantly touched one eyebrow, she could feel the entwined hairs there, stiff as wire. They were vibrating, but at her touch the vibrations, like the headache, dulled. She stared at the floor, the tiles sticky with contraband juice and gum; then she looked up once again at the cage. There was a display sign off to one side; she walked over to it, slowly, and read.
Cleopatra Brimstone GONEPTERYX RHAMNI CLEOPATRA.
This popular and subtly colored species has a range that extends throughout the northern hemisphere, with the exception of arctic regions and several remote islands. In Europe, the brimstone is a harbinger of spring, often emerging from its winter hibernation under dead leaves to revel in the countryside while there is still snow upon the ground.
"I must ask you please not to touch the cages."
Janie turned to see a man, perhaps fifty, standing a few feet away. A net was jammed under his arm; in his hand he held a clear plastic jar with several b.u.t.terflies at the bottom, apparently dead.
"Oh. Sorry," said Jane. The man edged past her. He set his jar on the floor, opened a small door at the base of the cylindrical cage, and deftly angled the net inside. b.u.t.terflies lifted in a yellow-green blur from leaves and branches; the man swept the net carefully across the bottom of the cage and then withdrew it. Three dead b.u.t.terflies, like sc.r.a.ps of colored paper, driftedfrom the net into the open jar.
"Housecleaning," he said, and once more thrust his arm into the cage. He was slender and wiry, not much taller than she was, his face hawkish and burnt brown from the sun, his thick straight hair iron-streaked and pulled back into a long braid. He wore black jeans and a dark-blue hooded jersey, with an ID badge clipped to the collar.
"You work here," said Janie. The man glanced at her, his arm still in the cage; she could see him sizing her up. After a moment he glanced away again. A few minutes later he emptied the net for the last time, closed the cage and the jar, and stepped over to a waste bin, pulling bits of dead leaves from the net and dropping them into the container.
"I"m one of the curatorial staff. You American?"
Janie nodded. "Yeah. Actually, I-I wanted to see about volunteering here."
"Lifewatch desk at the main entrance." The man c.o.c.ked his head toward the door. "They can get you signed up and registered, see what"s available."
"No-I mean, I want to volunteer here. With the insects-"
"b.u.t.terfly collector, are you?" The man smiled, his tone mocking. He had hazel eyes, deep-set; his thin mouth made the smile seem perhaps more cruel than intended. "We get a lot of those."
Janie flushed. "No. I am not a collector," she said coldly, adjusting her gla.s.ses. "I"m doing a thesis on dioxane genital mutation in Cucullia artemisia." She didn"t add that it was an undergraduate thesis. "I"ve been doing independent research for seven years now." She hesitated, thinking of her Intel scholarship, and added, "I"ve received several grants for my work."
The man regarded her appraisingly. "Are you studying here, then?"
"Yes," she lied again. "At Oxford. I"m on sabbatical right now. But I live near here, and so I thought I might-"
She shrugged, opening her hands, looked over at him, and smiled tentatively. "Make myself useful?"
The man waited a moment, nodded. "Well. Do you have a few minutes now? I"ve got to do something with these, but if you want you can come with me and wait, and then we can see what we can do. Maybe circ.u.mvent some paperwork."
He turned and started across the room. He had a graceful, bouncing gait, like a gymnast or circus acrobat: impatient with the ground beneath him. "Shouldn"t take long," he called over his shoulder as Janie hurried to catch up.
She followed him through a door marked AUTHORIZED PERSONS ONLY, into the exhibit laboratory, a rea.s.suringly familiar place with its display cases and smells of sh.e.l.lac and camphor, acetone and ethyl alcohol. There were more cages here, but smaller ones, sheltering live specimens-pupating b.u.t.terflies and moths, stick insects, leaf insects, dung beetles. The man dropped his net onto a desk, took the jar to a long table against one wall, blindingly lit by long fluorescent tubes. There were scores of bottles here, some empty, others filled with paper and tiny inert figures.
"Have a seat," said the man, gesturing at two folding chairs. He settled into one, grabbed an empty jar and a roll of absorbent paper. "I"m David Bierce. So where"re you staying? Camden Town?"
"Janie Kendall. Yes-""The High Street?"
Janie sat in the other chair, pulling it a few inches away from him. The questions made her uneasy, but she only nodded, lying again, and said, "Closer, actually. Off Gloucester Road.
With friends."
"Mm." Bierce tore off a piece of absorbent paper, leaned across to a stainless-steel sink and dampened the paper. Then he dropped it into the empty jar. He paused, turned to her and gestured at the table, smiling. "Care to join in?"
Janie shrugged. "Sure-"
She pulled her chair closer, found another empty jar and did as Bierce had, dampening a piece of paper towel and dropping it inside.
Then she took the jar containing the dead brimstones and carefully shook one onto the counter. It was a female, its coloring more muted than the males"; she scooped it up very gently, careful not to disturb the scales like dull green glitter upon its wings, dropped it into the jar and replaced the top.
"Very nice." Bierce nodded, raising his eyebrows. "You seem to know what you"re doing.
Work with other insects? Soft-bodied ones?"
"Sometimes. Mostly moths, though. And b.u.t.terflies."
"Right." He inclined his head to a recessed shelf. "How would you label that, then? Go ahead."
On the shelf she found a notepad and a case of Rapidograph pens. She began to write, conscious of Bierce staring at her. "We usually just put all this into the computer, of course, and print it out," he said. "I just want to see the benefits of an American education in the sciences."
Janie fought the urge to look at him. Instead she wrote out the information, making her printing as tiny as possible.
Gonepteiyx rhamni cleopatra UNITED KINGDOM: LONDON.
Regent"s Park Zoo Lat/Long unknown 21.IV.2001.
D. Bierce Net/caged specimen She handed it to Bierce. "I don"t know the proper coordinates for London."
Bierce scrutinized the paper. "It"s actually the Royal Zoological Society," he said. He looked at her, and then smiled. "But you"ll do."
"Great!" She grinned, the first time she"d really felt happy since arriving here. "When do you want me to start?"
"How about Monday?"
Janie hesitated: this was only Friday. "I could come in tomorrow-"
"I don"t work on the weekend, and you"ll need to be trained. Also they have to process the paperwork. Right-"
He stood and went to a desk, pulling open drawers until he found a clipboard holding sheafsof triplicate forms. "Here. Fill all this out, leave it with me, and I"ll pa.s.s it on to Carolyn-she"s the head volunteer coordinator. They usually want to interview you, but I"ll tell them we"ve done all that already."
"What time should I come in Monday?"
"Come at nine. Everything opens at ten; that way you"ll avoid the crowds. Use the staff entrance, someone there will have an ID waiting for you to pick up when you sign in-"
She nodded and began filling out the forms.
"All right then." David Bierce leaned against the desk and again fixed her with that sly, almost taunting gaze. "Know how to find your way home?"
Janie lifted her chin defiantly. "Yes."
"Enjoying London? Going to go out tonight and do Camden Town with all the yobs?"
"Maybe. I haven"t been out much yet."
"Mm. Beautiful American girl-they"ll eat you alive. Just kidding." He straightened, started across the room toward the door. "I"ll you see Monday then."
He held the door for her. "You really should check out the clubs. You"re too young not to see the city by night." He smiled, the fluorescent light slanting sideways into his hazel eyes and making them suddenly glow icy blue. "Bye then."
"Bye," said Janie, and hurried quickly from the lab toward home.
That night, for the first time, she went out. She told herself she would have gone anyway, no matter what Bierce had said. She had no idea where the clubs were; Andrew had pointed out the Electric Ballroom to her, right up from the tube station, but he"d also warned her that was where the tourists flocked on weekends.
"They do a disco thing on Sat.u.r.day nights-Sat.u.r.day Night Fever, everyone gets all done up in vintage clothes. Quite a fashion show," he"d said, smiling and shaking his head.
Janie had no interest in that. She ate a quick supper, vindaloo from the take-away down the street from the flat; then she dressed. She hadn"t brought a huge amount of clothes-at home she"d never bothered much with clothes at all, making do with thrift-shop finds and whatever her mother gave her for Christmas. But now she found herself sitting on the edge of the four-poster, staring with pursed lips at the spa.r.s.e contents of two bureau drawers. Finally she pulled out a pair of black corduroy jeans and a black turtleneck and pulled on her sneakers.
She removed her gla.s.ses and for the first time in weeks inserted her contact lenses. Then she shrugged into her old navy peacoat and left.
It was after ten o"clock. On the ca.n.a.l path, throngs of people stood, drinking from pints of canned lager. She made her way through them, ignoring catcalls and whispered invitations, stepping to avoid where kids lay making out against the brick wall that ran alongside the path or p.i.s.sing in the bushes. The bridge over the ca.n.a.l at Camden Lock was clogged with several dozen kids in mohawks or varicolored hair, shouting at each other above the din of a boom box and swigging from bottles of Spanish champagne.
A boy with a champagne bottle leered, lunging at her.
" "Ere, sweetheart, "ep youseff-"
Janie ducked, and he careered against the ledge, his arm striking brick and the bottle shattering in a starburst of black and gold.
"f.u.c.king c.u.n.t!" he shrieked after her. "f.u.c.king b.l.o.o.d.y c.u.n.t!"People glanced at her, but Janie kept her head down, making a quick turn into the vast cobbled courtyard of Camden Market. The place had a desolate air: the vendors would not arrive until early next morning, and now only stray cats and bits of windblown trash moved in the shadows. In the surrounding buildings people spilled out onto balconies, drinking and calling back and forth, their voices hollow and their long shadows twisting across the ill-lit central courtyard. Janie hurried to the far end, but there found only brick walls, closed-up shop doors, and a young woman huddled within the folds of a filthy sleeping bag.
"Couldya-couldya-" the woman murmured.
Janie turned and followed the wall until she found a door leading into a short pa.s.sage. She entered it, hoping she was going in the direction of Camden High Street. She felt like Alice trying to find her way through the garden in Wonderland: arched doorways led not into the street but headshops and brightly lit piercing parlors, open for business; other doors opened onto enclosed courtyards, dark and smelling of p.i.s.s and marijuana. Finally from the corner of her eye she glimpsed what looked like the end of the pa.s.sage, headlights piercing through the gloom like landing lights. Doggedly she made her way toward them.
"Ay watchowt watchowt," someone yelled as she emerged from the pa.s.sage onto the sidewalk and ran the last few steps to the curb.