"Cheers," he said, and drank it all in one gulp.
"Cheers," said Janie. She took a sip from hers, then refilled his gla.s.s. He drank again, more slowly this time. The candles threw a soft yellow haze over the four-poster bed with its green velvet duvet, the mounds of pillows, forest-green, crimson, saffron yellow. They sat without speaking for several minutes. Then the boy set his gla.s.s on the floor. He turned to face Janie, extending one arm around her shoulder and drawing his face near hers.
"Well, then," he said.
His mouth tasted acrid, nicotine and cheap gin beneath the blunter taste of brandy. His handsliding under her shirt was cold; Janie felt goose pimples rising across her breast, her nipple shrinking beneath his touch. He pressed against her, his c.o.c.k already hard, and reached down to unzip his jeans.
"Wait," Janie murmured. "Let"s get on the bed. . . ."
She slid from his grasp and onto the bed, crawling to the heaps of pillow and feeling beneath one until she found what she had placed there earlier. "Let"s have a little fun first."
"This is fun," the boy said, a bit plaintively. But he slung himself onto the bed beside her, pulling off his shoes and letting them fall to the floor with a thud. "What you got there?"
Smiling, Janie turned and held up the wristcuffs. The boy looked at them, then at her, grinning. "Oh, ho. Been in the back room, then-"
Janie arched her shoulders and unb.u.t.toned her shirt. He reached for one of the cuffs, but she shook her head. "No. Not me, yet."
"Ladies first."
"Gentleman"s pleasure."
The boy"s grin widened. "Won"t argue with that."
She took his hand and pulled him, gently, to the middle of the bed. "Lie on your back," she whispered.
He did, watching as she removed first his shirt and then his jeans and underwear. His c.o.c.k lay nudged against his thigh, not quite hard; when she brushed her fingers against it he moaned softly, took her hand and tried to press it against him.
"No," she whispered. "Not yet. Give me your hand."
She placed the cuffs around each wrist, and his ankles; fastened the nylon leash to each one and then began tying the bonds around each bedpost. It took longer than she had expected; it was difficult to get the bonds taut enough that the boy could not move. He lay there watchfully, his eyes glimmering in the candlelight as he craned his head to stare at her, his breath shallow, quickening.
"There." She sat back upon her haunches, staring at him. His c.o.c.k was hard now, the hair on his chest and groin tawny in the half-light. He gazed back at her, his tongue pale as he licked his lips. "Try to get away," she whispered.
He moved slightly, his arms and legs a white X against a deep green field. "Can"t," he said hoa.r.s.ely.
She pulled her shirt off, then her nylon skirt. She had nothing on beneath. She leaned forward, letting her fingers trail from the cleft in his throat to his chest, cupping her palm atop his nipple and then sliding her hand down to his thigh. The flesh was warm, the little hairs soft and moist. Her own breath quickened; sudden heat flooded her, a honeyed liquid in her mouth.
Above her brow the long hairs stiffened and furled straight out to either side: when she lifted her head to the candlelight she could see them from the corner of her eyes, twin barbs black and glistening like wire.
"You"re so s.e.xy." The boy"s voice was hoa.r.s.e. "G.o.d, you"re-"
She placed her hand over his mouth. "Try to get away," she said, commandingly this time.
"Try to get away."
His torso writhed, the duvet bunching up around him in dark folds.
She raked her fingernails down his chest, and he cried out, moaning "f.u.c.k me, G.o.d, f.u.c.k me . . .""Try to get away."
She stroked his c.o.c.k, her fingers barely grazing its swollen head. With a moan he came, struggling helplessly to thrust his groin toward her. At the same moment Janie gasped, a fiery rush arrowing down from her brow to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her c.u.n.t. She rocked forward, crying out, her head brushing against the boy"s side as she sprawled back across the bed. For a minute she lay there, the room around her seeming to pulse and swirl into myriad crystalline shapes, each bearing within it the same line of candles, the long curve of the boy"s thigh swelling up into the hollow of his hip. She drew breath shakily, the flush of heat fading from her brow; then pushed herself up until she was sitting beside him. His eyes were shut. A thread of saliva traced the furrow between mouth and chin. Without thinking she drew her face down to his, and kissed his cheek.
Immediately he began to grow smaller. Janie reared back, smacking into one of the bedposts, and stared at the figure in front of her, shaking her head.
"No," she whispered. "No, no."
He was shrinking: so fast it was like watching water dissolve into dry sand. Man-size, child-size, large dog, small. His eyes flew open and for a fraction of a second stared horrified into her own. His hands and feet slipped like mercury from his bonds, wriggling until they met his torso and were absorbed into it. Janie"s fingers kneaded the duvet; six inches away the boy was no larger than her hand, then smaller, smaller still. She blinked, for a heart-shredding instant thought he had disappeared completely.
Then she saw something crawling between folds of velvet. The length of her middle finger, its thorax black, yellow-striped, its lower wings elongated into frilled arabesques like those of a festoon, deep yellow, charcoal black, with indigo eyespots, its upper wings a chiaroscuro of black and white stripes.
Bhutanitis lidderdalii. A native of the eastern Himalayas, rarely glimpsed: it lived among the crowns of trees in mountain valleys, its caterpillars feeding on lianas. Janie held her breath, watching as its wings beat feebly. Without warning it lifted into the air. Janie cried out, falling onto her knees as she sprawled across the bed, cupping it quickly but carefully between her hands.
"Beautiful, beautiful," she crooned. She stepped from the bed, not daring to pause and examine it, and hurried into the kitchen. In the cupboard she found an empty jar, set it down, and gingerly angled the lid from it, holding one hand with the b.u.t.terfly against her breast. She swore, feeling its wings fluttering against her fingers, then quickly brought her hand to the jar"s mouth, dropped the b.u.t.terfly inside, and screwed the lid back in place. It fluttered helplessly inside; she could see where the scales had already been sc.r.a.ped from its wing. Still swearing she ran back into the bedroom, putting the lights on and dragging her collection box from under the bed. She grabbed a vial of ethyl alcohol, went back into the kitchen and tore a bit of paper towel from the rack. She opened the vial, poured a few drops of ethyl alcohol onto the paper, opened the jar and gently tilted it onto its side. She slipped the paper inside, very slowly tipping the jar upright once more, until the paper had settled on the bottom, the b.u.t.terfly on top of it. Its wings beat frantically for a few moments, then stopped. Its proboscis uncoiled, finer than a hair. Slowly Janie drew her own hand to her brow and ran it along the length of the antennae there. She sat there staring at it until the sun leaked through the wooden shutters in the kitchen window. The b.u.t.terfly did not move again.The next day pa.s.sed in a metallic gray haze, the only color the saturated blues and yellows of the lidderdalii"s wings, burned upon Janie"s eyes as though she had looked into the sun.
When she finally roused herself, she felt a spasm of panic at the sight of the boy"s clothes on the bedroom floor.
"s.h.i.t." She ran her hand across her head, was momentarily startled to recall she had no hair.
"Now what?"
She stood there for a few minutes, thinking; then she gathered the clothes-striped V-neck sweater, jeans, socks, Jockey shorts, Timber-land knockoff shoes-and dumped them into a plastic Sainsbury"s bag. There was a wallet in the jeans pocket. She opened it, gazed impa.s.sively at a driver"s license-KENNETH REED, WOLVERHAMPTON-and a few five-pound notes. She pocketed the money, took the license into the bathroom, and burned it, letting the ashes drop into the toilet. Then she went outside.
It was early Sunday morning, no one about except for a young mother pushing a baby in a stroller. In the neighboring doorway the same drunk old man sprawled surrounded by empty bottles and rubbish. He stared blearily up at Janie as she approached.
"Here," she said. She bent and dropped the five-pound notes into his scabby hand.
"G.o.d bless you, darlin"." He coughed, his eyes focusing on neither Janie nor the notes. "G.o.d bless you."
She turned and walked briskly back toward the ca.n.a.l path. There were few waste bins in Camden Town, and so each day trash acc.u.mulated in rank heaps along the path, beneath streetlights, in vacant alleys. Street cleaners and sweeping machines then daily cleared it all away again. Like elves, Janie thought. As she walked along the ca.n.a.l path she dropped the shoes in one pile of rubbish, tossed the sweater alongside a single high-heeled shoe in the market, stuffed the underwear and socks into a collapsing cardboard box filled with rotting lettuce, and left the jeans beside a stack of papers outside an unopened newsagent"s shop. The wallet she tied into the Sainsbury"s bag and dropped into an overflowing trash bag outside of Boots. Then she retraced her steps, stopping in front of a shop window filled with tatty polyester lingerie in large sizes and boldly artificial-looking wigs: pink Afros, platinum blond falls, black-and-white Cruella De Vil tresses.
The door was propped open; Schubert lieder played softly on 3 2. Janie stuck her head in and looked around, saw a beefy man behind the register, cashing out. He had orange lipstick smeared around his mouth and delicate silver fish hanging from his ears.
"We"re not open yet. Eleven on Sunday," he said without looking up.
"I"m just looking." Janie sidled over to a gla.s.s shelf where four wigs sat on Styrofoam heads. One had very glossy black hair in a chin-length flapper bob. Janie tried it on, eyeing herself in a grimy mirror. "How much is this one?"
"Fifteen. But we"re not-"
"Here. Thanks!" Janie stuck a twenty-pound note on the counter and ran from the shop. When she reached the corner she slowed, pirouetted to catch her reflection in a shop window. She stared at herself, grinning, then walked the rest of the way home, exhilarated and faintly dizzy.
Monday morning she went to the zoo to begin her volunteer work. She had mounted theBhutanitis lidderdalii, on a piece of Styrofoam with a piece of paper on it, to keep the b.u.t.terfly"s legs from becoming embedded in the Styrofoam. She"d softened it first, putting it into a jar with damp paper, removed it and placed it on the mounting platform, neatly spearing its thorax-a little to the right-with a #2 pin. She propped it carefully on the wainscoting beside the hawkmoth, and left.
She arrived and found her ID badge waiting for her at the staff entrance. It was a clear morning, warmer than it had been for a week; the long hairs on her brow vibrated as though they were wires that had been plucked. Beneath the wig her shaved head felt hot and moist, the first new hairs starting to p.r.i.c.kle across her scalp. Her nose itched where her gla.s.ses pressed against it. Janie walked, smiling, past the gibbons howling in their habitat and the pygmy hippos floating calmly in their pool, their eyes shut, green bubbles breaking around them like little fish. In front of the insect zoo a uniformed woman was unloading sacks of meal from a golf cart.
"Morning," Janie called cheerfully, and went inside. She found David Bierce standing in front of a temperature gauge beside a gla.s.s cage holding the hissing c.o.c.kroaches.
"Something happened last night, the d.a.m.n things got too cold." He glanced over, handed her a clipboard, and began to remove the top of the gauge. "I called Operations but they"re at their f.u.c.king morning meeting. f.u.c.king computers-"
He stuck his hand inside the control box and flicked angrily at the gauge. "You know anything about computers?"
"Not this kind." Janie brought her face up to the cage"s gla.s.s front. Inside were half a dozen glossy roaches, five inches long and the color of pale maple syrup. They lay, unmoving, near a gla.s.s petri dish filled with what looked like damp brown sugar. "Are they dead?"
"Those things? They"re f.u.c.king immortal. You could stamp on one, and it wouldn"t die.
Believe me, I"ve done it." He continued to fiddle with the gauge, finally sighed, and replaced the lid. "Well, let"s let the boys over in Ops handle it. Come on, I"ll get you started."
He gave her a brief tour of the lab, opening drawers full of dissecting instruments, mounting platforms, pins; showing her where the food for the various insects was kept in a series of small refrigerators. Sugar syrup, cornstarch, plastic containers full of smaller insects, grubs and mealworms, tiny gray beetles. "Mostly we just keep on top of replacing the ones that die,"
David explained, "that and making sure the plants don"t develop the wrong kind of fungus.
Nature takes her course, and we just goose her along when she needs it. School groups are here constantly, but the docents handle that. You"re more than welcome to talk to them, if that"s the sort of thing you want to do."
He turned from where he"d been washing empty jars at a small sink, dried his hands, and walked over to sit on top of a desk. "It"s not terribly glamorous work here." He reached down for a Styrofoam cup of coffee and sipped from it, gazing at her coolly. "We"re none of us working on our Ph.D."s anymore."
Janie shrugged. "That"s all right."
"It"s not even all that interesting. I mean, it can be very repet.i.tive. Tedious."
"I don"t mind." A sudden pang of anxiety made Janie"s voice break. She could feel her face growing hot, and quickly looked away. "Really," she said sullenly.
"Suit yourself. Coffee"s over there; you"ll probably have to clean yourself a cup, though." He c.o.c.ked his head, staring at her curiously, and then said, "Did you do something different withyour hair?"
She nodded once, brushing the edge of her bangs with a finger. "Yeah."
"Nice. Very Louise Brooks." He hopped from the desk and crossed to a computer set up in the corner. "You can use my computer it you need to, I"ll give you the pa.s.sword later."
Janie nodded, her flush fading into relief. "How many people work here?"
"Actually, we"re short-staffed here right now-no money for hiring and our grant"s run out.
It"s pretty much just me and whoever Carolyn sends over from the docents. Sweet little bluehairs mostly; they don"t much like bugs. So it"s providential you turned up, Jane."
He said her name mockingly, gave her a crooked grin. "You said you have experience mounting? Well, I try to save as many of the dead specimens as I can, and when there"s any slow days, which there never are, I mount them and use them for the workshops I do with the schools that come in. What would be nice would be if we had enough specimens that I could give some to the teachers, to take back to their cla.s.srooms. We have a nice Web site and we might be able to work up some interactive programs. No schools are scheduled today, Monday"s usually slow here. So if you could work on some of those-" He gestured to where several dozen cardboard boxes and gla.s.s jars were strewn across a countertop. "-that would be really brilliant," he ended, and turned to his computer screen.
She spent the morning mounting insects. Few were interesting or unusual: a number of brown hairstreaks, some Camberwell beauties, three hissing c.o.c.kroaches, several brimstones.
But there was a single Acherontia atropos, the death"s-head hawkmoth, the pattern of gray and brown and pale yellow scales on the back of its thorax forming the image of a human skull. Its proboscis was unfurled, the twin points sharp enough to pierce a finger: Janie touched it gingerly, wincing delightedly as a pinp.r.i.c.k of blood appeared on her fingertip.
"You bring lunch?"
She looked away from the bright magnifying light she"d been using and blinked in surprise.
"Lunch?"
David Bierce laughed. "Enjoying yourself? Well, that"s good, makes the day go faster. Yes, lunch!" He rubbed his hands together, the harsh light making him look gnomelike, his sharp features malevolent and leering. "They have some decent fish and chips at the stall over by the cats. Come on, I"ll treat you. Your first day."
They sat at a picnic table beside the food booth and ate. David pulled a bottle of ale from his knapsack and shared it with Janie. Overhead scattered clouds like smoke moved swiftly southward. An Indian woman with three small boys sat at another table, the boys tossing fries at seagulls that swept down, shrieking, and made the smallest boy wail.
"Rain later," David said, staring at the sky. "Too bad." He sprinkled vinegar on his fried haddock and looked at Janie. "So did you go out over the weekend?"
She stared at the table and smiled. "Yeah, I did. It was fun." "Where"d you go? The Electric Ballroom?"
"G.o.d, no. This other place." She glanced at his hand resting on the table beside her. He had long fingers, the knuckles slightly enlarged; but the back of his hand was smooth, the same soft brown as the Acherontia"s wingtips. Her brows p.r.i.c.kled, warmth trickling from them like water. When she lifted her head she could smell him, some kind of musky soap, salt; the bittersweet ale on his breath.
"Yeah? Where? I haven"t been out in months, I"d be lost in Camden Town these days.""I dunno.The Hive?"
She couldn"t imagine he would have heard of it-far too old. But he swiveled on the bench, his eyebrows arching with feigned shock. "You went to Hive"? And they let you in?"
"Yes," Janie stammered. "I mean, I didn"t know-it was just a dance club. I just-danced."
"Did you." David Bierce"s gaze sharpened, his hazel eyes catching the sun and sending back an icy emerald glitter. "Did you."
She picked up the bottle of ale and began to peel the label from it. "Yes."
"Have a boyfriend, then?"
She shook her head, rolled a fragment of label into a tiny pill. "No." "Stop that." His hand closed over hers. He drew it away from the bottle, letting it rest against the table edge. She swallowed: he kept his hand on top of hers, pressing it against the metal edge until she felt her scored palm began to ache. Her eyes closed: she could feel herself floating, and see a dozen feet below her own form, slender, the wig beetle-black upon her skull, her wrist like a bent stalk. Abruptly his hand slid away and beneath the table, brushing her leg as he stooped to retrieve his knapsack.
"Time to get back to work," he said lightly, sliding from the bench and slinging his bag over his shoulder. The breeze lifted his long graying hair as he turned away. "I"ll see you back there."
Overhead the gulls screamed and flapped, dropping bits of fried fish on the sidewalk. She stared at the table in front of her, the cardboard trays that held the remnants of lunch, and watched as a yellow jacket landed on a fleck of grease, its golden thorax swollen with moisture as it began to feed.
She did not return to Hive that night. Instead she wore a patchwork dress over her jeans and Doc Martens, stuffed the wig inside a drawer, and headed to a small bar on Inverness Street.
The fair day had turned to rain, black puddles like molten metal capturing the amber glow of traffic signals and streetlights.
There were only a handful of tables at Bar Ganza. Most of the customers stood on the sidewalk outside, drinking and shouting to be heard above the sound of wailing Spanish love songs. Janie fought her way inside, got a gla.s.s of red wine, and miraculously found an empty stool alongside the wall. She climbed onto it, wrapped her long legs around the pedestal, and sipped her wine.
"Hey. Nice hair." A man in his early thirties, his own head shaved, sidled up to Janie"s stool. He held a cigarette, smoking it with quick, nervous gestures as he stared at her. He thrust his cigarette toward the ceiling, indicating a booming speaker. "You like the music?"
"Not particularly."
"Hey, you"re American? Me, too. Chicago. Good bud of mine, works for Citibank, he told me about this place. Food"s not bad. Tapas. Baby octopus. You like octopus?"
Janie"s eyes narrowed. The man wore expensive-looking corduroy trousers, a rumpled jacket of nubby charcoal-colored linen. "No," she said, but didn"t turn away.
"Me neither. Like eating great big slimy bugs. Geoff Lanning-"
He stuck his hand out. She touched it, lightly, and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Geoff."
For the next half hour or so she pretended to listen to him, nodding and smiling brilliantly whenever he looked up at her. The bar grew louder and more crowded, andpeople began eyeing Janie"s stool covetously.
"I think I"d better hand over this seat," she announced, hopping down and elbowing her way to the door. "Before they eat me."
Geoff Lanning hurried after her. "Hey, you want to get dinner? The Camden Bra.s.serie"s just up here-"
"No thanks." She hesitated on the curb, gazing demurely at her Doc Martens. "But would you like to come in for a drink?"
He was very impressed by her apartment. "Man, this place"d probably go for a half mil, easy! That"s three quarters of a million American."