Threakman shambled along at Wendel"s side as Wendel led them out of the research building and across a filth-choked field to the chemical plant, staying in the shadows on one side. Wendel knew the plant well from all the hours he"d spent looking at it and thinking about modeling it. The guards wouldn"t see them if they cut in over here. They skirted the high, silver cylinder of a cracking tower, alive with pipes, and climbed some mesh-metal stairs that led to a broad catwalk, ten feet across.
"The acid tank"s that way," whispered Wendel. "I"ve seen the train cars filling it up." The rolled up nanomatrix twitched under his arm, as if trying to unroll itself.
"This"ll be the "ard bit," said Threakman, uneasily. "The Out-Monkeys can see down onto us, I"ll warrant."
Wendel tightened his grip on the nanomatrix, holding it tight in both hands. It pushed and shifted, but for the moment, nothing more. They marched forward along the catwalk, their feet making soft clanging noises in the night.
"That great thumpin" yellow one with the writin" on it?" said Threakman, spotting the huge metal tank that held acid. Practically every square foot of the tank was stenciled with safety warnings. "Deadly deadly deadly," added Threakman with a chuckle. He ran ahead of Wen-del to get a closer look, leaning eagerly forward off the edge of the catwalk. "Just my cuppa tea. Wait till I undog this "atch. Let"s get rid of the mat before I change my mind."
The nanomatrix was definitely alive, twisting in Wendel"s hands like a huge, frantic fish. He stopped walking, concentrating on getting control of the thing, coiling it up tighter than before.
"Hurry, Jeremy," he called. "Get the tank open, and I"ll come throw this f.u.c.ker in."
But now there was a subtle shudder of s.p.a.ce, and Wendel heard a voice. "Not so fast, dear friends."
A businessman emerged out of thin air, first his legs, then his body, and then his head-as if he were being pasted down onto s.p.a.ce. He stood there in his black, tailored suit, poised midway on the catwalk between Wendel and Threakman.
"George Gravid," said the businessman. His eyes were dark black mirrors and his suit, on closer inspection, was filthy and rumpled, as if he"d been wearing it for months-or years. "The nanomatrix is DeGroot property, Wendel. Not that I really give a s.h.i.t. This tune"s about played out. But I"m supposed to talk to you."
There was another shudder and a whispering of air, and now Barley and Xiao-Xiao were at Gravid"s side, Barley sneering, and Xiao-Xiao"s little face cold and hard. The plant lights sparkled on the three"s reflec tive eyes, black and silver and lavender. Wendel took a step back."Run around "em, Wendel," called Threakman. "I got the "atch off. Dodge through!"
Wendel was fast and small. He had a chance, though the bucking of the nanomatrix was continuously distracting him. He faked to the left, ran to the right, then cut back to the left again.
Gravid, Barley, and Xiao-Xiao underwent a jerky stuttering motion- an instantaneous series of jumps-and ended up right in front of him. Barley gave Wendel a contemptuous little slap on the cheek.
"The Higher One picks us up and puts us down," said Xiao-Xiao. "You can"t get past us.
You have to listen."
"You"re being moved around by an Out-Monkey?" said Wendel.
"That"s a lame-a.s.s term," said Barley. "They"re Higher Ones. Why did you leave?"
"You"re its pets," Wendel said, stomach lurching in revulsion. "Toys." The fumes from the nitric acid tank were sharp in the air.
"We"re free agents," said Gravid. "But it"s better in there than out here."
"The mothership"s gonna leave soon," said Barley. "And we"re goin" with it. Riding on the hull. Us and your parents. Don"t be a dirt-world loser, Wendel. Come on back."
"The Higher One wants you, Wendel," said Gravid. "Wants to have another complete family. You know how collectors are."
The nanomatrix bucked wildly, and a fat silver pocket swelled out of its coiled-up end like a bubble from a bubble-pipe. The pocket settled down onto the catwalk, bulging and waiting.
Wendel had a sudden deep memory of how good the rush had felt.
"Whatcher mean, the ship is leavin"?" asked Threakman, drawn over to stare at the bubble, half the height of a man now. It"s broad navel swirled invitingly.
"They"ve seen enough of our s.p.a.ce now," said Xiao-Xiao. "They"re moving on. Come on now, Wendel and Jeremy. This is bigger than anything you"ll ever do." She mimed a sarcastic little kiss, bent over, and squeezed herself into the pocket.
"Me come, too," said Barley, and followed her.
"Last call," said Gravid, going back into the bubble as well.
And now it was just Wendel and Threakman and the pocket, standing on the catwalk. The nanomatrix lay still in Wendel"s hands.
"I don"t know as I can live without it, yer know," said Threakman softly.
"But you said you want to change," said Wendel.
"Roit," said Threakman bleakly. "I did say."
Wendel skirted around the pocket and walked over to where the acid tank"s open hatch gaped. The nanomatrix had stopped fighting him. He and his world were small; the Out-Monkeys had lost interest. It was a simple matter to throw the plastic mat into the tank . . .
and he watched it fall, end over end.
Choking fumes wafted out, and Wendel crawled off low down on the catwalk toward the breathable air.
When he sat up, Threakman and the bubble were both gone. And somewhere deep in his guts, Wendel felt a shudder, as of giant engines moving off. The pockets were gone? Maybe.
But there"d always be a high that wanted to eat you alive. Life was a long struggle.
He walked away from the research center, toward the train station, feeling empty, and hurt-and free.
There were some things at the apartment he could sell. It would be a start. He would do allright. He"d been taking care of himself for a long time. . . .
Catherine Asaro has a doctorate in chemical physics from Harvard and claims she is a walking definition of the word absent-minded, managing to spill coffee in every room of her house.
You wouldn"t know it by her sharp, telling fiction. She"s been nominated for the Hugo and Nebula Awards and has won a bunch of others, including the a.n.a.log Readers Poll and the National Readers Choice Award. Her most recent books were The Quantam Rose and a near-future suspense novel, The Phoenix Code.
For Redshift she"s written something that can only be described as, well, sharp and telling.
Ave de Paso.
Catherine Asaro.
My cousin Manuel walked alone in the twilight, out of sight, while I sat in the back of the pickup truck. We each needed privacy for our grief. The hillside under our truck hunched out of the desert like the shoulder of a giant. Perhaps that shoulder belonged to one of the Four-Corner G.o.ds who carried the cube of the world on his back. When too many of the Zinacantec Maya existed, the G.o.ds grew tired and shifted the weight of their burden, stirring an earthquake.
I slipped my hand into my pocket, where I had hidden my offerings: white candles, pine needles, rum. They weren"t enough. I had no copal incense to burn, no resin b.a.l.l.s and wood chips to appease the ancestral G.o.ds for the improper manner of my mother"s burial.
Manuel and I were far now from Zinacant-n, our home in the highlands of Chiapas, Mexico.
Years ago my mother had brought us here, to New Mexico. Later we had moved to Los Angeles, the city of fallen angels. But for this one night, Manuel and I had returned to New Mexico, a desert named after the country of our birth, yet not of that country.
An in-between place.
Dusk feathered across the land, brushing away a pepper-red sunset. Eventually I stirred myself enough to set out our sleeping bags in the bed of the truck. It wouldn"t be as comfortable as if we slept on the ground, but we wouldn"t wake up with bandolero scorpions or rattlesnakes in our bags either.
"Akushtina?" Manuel"s voice drifted through the dry evening like a hawk.
I sat down against the wall of the pickup and pulled my denim jacket tight against the night"s chill.
Manuel walked into view from around the front of the truck. "Tina, why didn"t you answer?"
"It didn"t feel right."
He climbed into the truck and dropped his Uzi at my feet. "You okay?"
I shuddered. "Take it away."
Sitting next to me, he folded his arms against the cold. "Take what away?"
I pushed the Uzi with my toe. "That."
"You see a rattler, you yell for me, what am I going to do? Spit at it?" "You don"t need a submachine gun to protect us from snakes." He withdrew from me then, not with his body but with his spirit, into the shrouded places of his mind. I had hoped that coming here, away from the cold angles and broken lines of Los Angeles, would bring back thecloseness we had shared as children. Though many people still considered us children.
"I don"t want to fight," I said. His look softened.
"I know, hija."
"I miss her."
He put his arms around me and I leaned into him, this cousin of mine who at nineteen, three years older than me, was the only guardian I had now. Sliding my arms under his leather jacket, I laid my head against the rough cloth of his flannel shirt. And I cried, slight sounds that blended into the night. The crickets stopped chirping, filling the twilight with their silence.
Manuel murmured in Tzotzil Mayan, our first language, the only one he had ever felt was his, far more than the English we spoke now, or the Spanish we had learned as a second language. But he would never show his tears: not to me; not to the social workers in L.A. who had tried to reach him when he was younger and now feared they had failed; not to Los Halcones, the gang the Anglos called The Falcons, the barrio warriors Manuel considered the only family we had left.
Eventually I stopped crying. Crickets began to saw the night again, and an owl hooted, its call wavering like a ghost. Sounds came from the edge of the world: a truck growling on the horizon, the whispering rumble of p.r.o.nghorn antelope as they loped across the land, the howl of a coyote. No city groans muddied the night.
I pulled away from Manuel, wiping my cheek with my hand. Then I got up and went to stand at the cab of the truck, leaning with my arms folded on its roof. We had parked on the top of a flat hill. The desert rolled out in all directions, from here to the horizon, an endless plain darkening with shadows beneath a forever sky. This land belonged less to humans than to the giant furry tarantulas that crept across the parched soil; or to the tarantula hawks, those huge wasps that dived out of the air to grab their eight-legged prey; or to the javelinas, the wild, grunting pigs.
We had come here from the Chiapas village called Naben Chauk, the Lake of the Lightning.
My mother had been outcast there, an unmarried woman with a child and almost no clan. After the death of Manuel"s parents, my aunt and uncle, she had no one. So eight years ago she brought Manuel and me here, to New Mexico, where a friend had a job for her. But she dreamed of the City of Angels, convinced it could give us a better life. So later we had moved to Los Angeles, a sprawling giant that could swallow this hill like a snake swallowing a mouse.
"The city killed her," I said. "If we had stayed in Naben Chauk she would still be alive."
Manuel"s jeans rustled when he stood up. His boots thudded as he crossed the truck bed. He leaned on the cab next to me. "I wish it. You wish it. But Los Angeles didn"t give her cancer.
That sickness, it would have eaten her no matter where we went."
"The city sucked out pieces of her soul."
He drew me closer, until I was standing between him and the cab, my back against his front, his arms around me, his hands resting on the cab. "You got to let go, Tina. You got to say good-bye."
"I can"t." It was like giving up, just like we had given up our home. I missed the limestone hills of the Chiapas highlands, where clouds hid the peaks and mist cloaked the sweet stands of pine. As a small girl, I had herded our sheep there, our only wealth, woolly animals wesheared with scissors bought in San Cristobal de las Casas. Until an earthquake killed the flock.
As it had killed Manuel"s parents.
I wished I could see my mother one last time, cooking over a fire at dawn, smoke rising around her, spiraling up and around until it escaped out the s.p.a.ces where the roof met the walls. She would kneel in front of her comal, a round metal plate propped up on two pots and a rock, patting her maize dough back and forth, making tortillas.
"It"s good we came here to tell her good-bye," I said. "It was wrong the way she died, in that hospital. In L.A."
"We did the best we could." Manuel kissed the top of my head. "She couldn"t have gotten medicine in Naben Chauk, not what she needed."
"Her spirit won"t rest now."
"Tina, you got to stop all this, about spirits and things." Manuel let go of me. I turned around in time to see him pick up the Uzi. He held it like a staff. "This is how you "protect your spirit."
By making sure no one takes what"s yours."
"How can you come to mourn her and bring this." I jerked the gun out of his hand and threw it over the side of the truck. "She would hate it. Hate it."
"G.o.dd.a.m.n it, Tina." Holding the side of the pickup, he vaulted over it to the ground. He picked up the Uzi, his anger hanging around him like smoke. Had I been anyone else, grabbing his gun that way could have gotten me shot.
I climbed out of the truck and jumped down next to him. He towered over me, tall by any standard, huge for a man of the Zinacantec Maya, over six feet. His hook-nosed profile was silhouetted against the stars like an ancient Maya king, a warrior out of place and time, his face much like those carved into the stellae, the stones standing in the ruins of our ancestors. Proud.
He was so proud. And in so much pain.
Faint music rippled out of the night, drifting on the air like a bird, strange and yet familiar, the sweet notes of a Chiapas guitar. "Someone is here," I said.
Manuel lifted his gun as he scanned the area. "You see someone?"
"Hear someone." The music came closer now, stinging, bittersweet. "A guitar. On the other side of the hill."
He lowered the gun. "I don"t hear squat."
"It"s there." I hesitated. "Let"s not stay here tonight. If we went back into town, they would probably let us stay at the house-"
"No! We didn"t come all this way to stay where she was a maid." Manuel motioned at the desert. "This is what she loved. The land."
I knew he was right. But the night made me uneasy. "Something is wrong."
"Oh, h.e.l.l, Tina." He took my arm. "I"ll show you. No one is here."
I pulled away. "Don"t go."
"Why not?" Manuel walked away, to the edge of the hilltop. He stood there, a tall figure in the ghosting moonlight. Then he disappeared, gone down the other side, vanished into the whispering night.
"Manuel, wait." I started after him.
The guitar kept playing, its notes wavering, receding, coming closer. Then it stopped, andthe desert waited in silence. No music, no crickets, no coyotes.
Nothing.