SITTING BY MYSELF, AND THOUGHTFUL.
Alone? no never! that broad eye, Which fills all s.p.a.ce, is here; My secret thoughts and actions he, Reveal"d as daylight clear.
I would not from Thy presence fly, Thee only, would I love; With greater circ.u.mspection try In Thy commands to move.
If in my heart I aught disguise, The lurking evil slay; If aught than Thee more highly prize, O take it, Lord, away!
"1859.--I concluded the year by reading the Epistle to the Philippians, and prayer. My soul longs for a richer baptism of love, I am as well as usual, and my soul pants after G.o.d. I feel the word precious while I read, and thirst for a fuller manifestation of G.o.d.
While thus employed, I enjoy sweet peace through Jesus. Here hangs my hope of heaven; and though I have many a conflict with unbelief, my heart is fixed."
THOUGHTS ON EZEKIEL"S VISION, CHAPTERS 43 AND 48.
EZEKIEL XLVIII. 35.
"The Lord is there!" O happy place!
Where G.o.d in Christ unveils His face; The city and the people bear His glorious name--"The Lord is there."
The house all symmetry within, The worshippers all white and clean; How l.u.s.trous is the scene, and rare!
It must be so--"The Lord is there."
There, from beneath the threshold, teems The tide of truth in living streams; And those who drink the waters, share Eternal life--"The Lord is there."
The crystal waves spread deep and wide; Salvation rolls upon the tide; So copious is the flood, we dare No longer doubt--"The Lord is there."
The healing virtue never fails; For all "who will," it still avails; Within the city brought, they wear A kingly crown--"The Lord is there."
The glory of the Lord is seen, His voice is heard by all within; The tribes of Israel are _His_ care, Who reigns, the Lord for ever there.
"While reading and meditating on Ezekiel"s vision, my spirit was refreshed; and in the evening, while praying with my servant, my soul rejoiced in G.o.d my Saviour. Tears of joy ran down my eyes, and my soul overflowed.--Six years my dear John has been in paradise, and I am still endeavouring to urge on my way; feeble, yet pursuing. Praise G.o.d for the encouragement I feel. Jesus is all the world to me; there is nothing in my estimation equal to Him;--nothing I desire in comparison of Him.--In the world there appears to be a glorious movement towards G.o.d. The latter-day glory hastens on. India is quiet, and China opens her arms to the truth. In America, Scotland, and Wales, the Spirit is descending plenteously. O praise the Lord, for He shall reign; "the government shall be upon His shoulder."--Walked as far as Heworth Chapel, and called upon Miss C.; she asked me to pray with her, being herself an invalid. Cause of grat.i.tude, being my longest walk this year. The present circ.u.mstances of my children call for earnest persevering prayer. Let Thy Spirit help me.--The beauties of inanimate nature have this week exhibited the finger of G.o.d in the rising bud, and opening flower. May I, to whom is given, an intelligent mind, while beholding these works of Thine, be drawn into closer union with Thyself. Yea, while my hand directs the pen, let my soul a.s.similate to Thy likeness: make me one with Thee. Glory be to G.o.d, I feel there is union, for G.o.d is love: but enlarge and fill my soul with all Thy fulness.--This afternoon the young clergyman visited me, and made inquiries after my spiritual welfare. My heart clave unto him; and after he had prayed, I heartily wished him success in his ministry.
Tidings have reached me, that my son John is going as a Missionary to Germany: may it be of the Lord. My soul is exceedingly drawn out in prayer that it may be so; and that it may be a blessing both to him and the people among whom he is about to labour.--I am this day seventy-seven years old. How quickly time departs! I lack words to express the manifold mercies of my heavenly Father during the past year. One above all, is the return of my Missionary son, after twenty-one years" absence; and his, and his family"s kindness. Bless the Lord, O my soul.--Felt impressed to go and visit Mrs. M--, whom I visited once last year; went, and had a happy interview.
Hallow"d is the hour of prayer, When the Spirit helps me there; When the soul is drawn above, Borne on wings of faith and love; Then, released from earth, I rise Far beyond the starry skies; See, in Christ"s atonement free, Life for all mankind, and me.
"Mrs. C. called, and kindly took me to Cla.s.s. I gave out the hymn my Eliza sang the day before she died, and prayed with them.--I have been led by the Spirit of G.o.d to my knees, and find it no vain thing to wait upon the Lord. I am urged to look after my pet.i.tions, and feel it good to be thus reminded.--Mrs. Hartley called to bid me good-bye. I felt it very good while we prayed together. On her return to the city she was taken very ill, and sent a request by my daughter, that I would pray for her. I will. Felt blest in doing so.--My two sons are going to widely distant localities, but in their Master"s field. Oh!
how my heart longs that they may be richly endued with power from on high, and made abundantly useful among those with whom they mingle, and that many may be the saved of the Lord. John Arthur and David are also, this day, going on the Lord"s errand. O bless the lads!
Make them wise to win souls to Jesus. My soul longs for their prosperity.--Nine of my dear grandchildren took tea with us. For these and all the rest my soul earnestly longs, that we may be an undivided family above. I was blest while praying with them.--My dear son John and his wife, with five children, left us on their way to Germany, hoping to reach London this evening. O Lord, prosper Thou his journey to yonder land! I feel deeply for him. O bless him, Lord!"
Oh! what a world of care, Anxiety and grief!
How multiplied our sorrows are!
Where shall we find relief?
Our lov"d ones come, and glad we are To see their smiling face; But brief these transient visits are, And _then_, the last embrace.
"Mrs. Nightingale came to meet two women in distress for their souls.
They wept sore, and found encouragement. I felt it good to mingle my pet.i.tions with their"s. [This was the commencement of a cla.s.s at her own residence, conducted by Mrs. N., and formed especially for my mother"s accommodation. Up to this time she was nominally a leader, but since her removal to Heworth, she had but very occasionally been able to ride down to the city, and mingle in the communion of saints, a privilege, the loss of which she had deeply felt. The provision thus made was therefore a source of unspeakable comfort. Mrs. Nightingale says, "We found her at the appointed time, but oftener before, sitting in prayerful silence, waiting upon G.o.d. At such times her countenance was most heavenly; lit up with a light and glory, which bespoke her relation to, and hidden life with, her divine Lord. It was our privilege, when she was able, to listen to the words of wisdom and instruction which fell from her lips. Her deep acquaintance with the word of G.o.d, and the holy unction with which she spoke, caused those present to say, "This is none other but the house of G.o.d, and this is the gate of heaven." Love to G.o.d and the souls of men burned brightly on the altar of her heart. This was seen in the deep interest she took in each member of the cla.s.s, and in her prayerful concern for the members of her own family. "G.o.d is giving me answers to my prayers both on behalf of my children and grandchildren," she would say. But there were aspirations of soul after higher forms of spiritual life, which could only be realized in the fruition of the divine presence.
For increase of years she made but little allowance, so that, whilst her love to G.o.d and heavenly meekness became increasingly apparent to others, her diminished energy was sometimes to herself the occasion of painful conflict and introspection."] Before I awoke I thought a letter was put into my hands, the contents of which were "Through much tribulation ye shall enter the kingdom." The Lord giving me power, I will fight my pa.s.sage through.--Through the intensity of the weather, and my own increasing indisposition, I have been compelled to keep my bed; but prayer has been the life of my soul;--the only sure refuge in trouble. Much drawn out for my dear John, who, we expect, is this day holding an important meeting.--The year is quickly pa.s.sing into eternity. It tarries not, nor waiteth the hurried one to free. Defer not, for the moment will soon pa.s.s away. Now touch the golden sceptre while it is called to-day. Believe, believe in Jesus, who gave His life for _you_. Accept the rich gratuity, for He hath purchased you."
"1860.--Although not able to sit up to welcome the new year, it broke upon me with these words--
Jesus shall all my powers possess, My hopes, my fears, my joys:
and thus my heart resolves. Yes, Lord, the dying embers of my life are Thine. I thank Thee, Thou dost not cast me off in my old age. "My soul shall magnify the Lord, and my spirit rejoice in G.o.d my Saviour."--A few days ago, my mind was filled with uncertainty respecting two members of my family; however, I laid the case before the Lord, and, to my surprise and grateful acknowledgment, in a day or two there was an opening in each case. Reader or writer, think not highly of thyself, others were praying as well as thee.--My first thought this morning, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with "loving kindness have I drawn thee." A very cheering letter from my son Richard. Praise the Lord for such information, both from heaven and earth.--A beautiful sunny morning. Grant that the Sun of righteousness may rise upon me with healing in His wings. Let Him heal, and form my soul anew. This is my chief desire. I do thank Thee for peace, but O enlarge my heart, and fully fit me to behold Thy glory!--A quiet Sabbath morning. I am sitting alone. The sun shines brightly upon me, and all nature seems to join in hallowed harmony.
May my soul, capable of far greater powers, be expanded to receive far richer influences from the great source of my being--the inexhaustible fountain of all blessedness. My soul drinks of the living stream.
Praise G.o.d for these small draughts. Enlarge and fill, and enlarge for ever!"
MAN"S FRAILTY.
See a flower of lovely hue, Dipp"d in beauty bright, at Spring, Blasted by a wind that blew, Ere it pa.s.sed its blossoming.
Such is man, in best estate; Like a flower he buddeth forth, Till some unexpected fate Brings him to his mother earth,
Such a shadow of a shade, Human life, a moment, is: Now we live, but soon conveyed Past all life"s uncertainties.
Blooming youth and wither"d age, Infant charms and ripened years, Death a.s.saults with equal rage, Unappeas"d by prayers or tears:
Then, the closely wedded pair, Soul and body sadly part; Yet to meet again--but _where?
Seek the answer in thy heart_.
""Looking unto Jesus!" This is the posture of my soul. Yea, I long after G.o.d. I have been peculiarly drawn out In prayer for several members of my family, with great sweetness In my own soul. Glory be to G.o.d!"
XXIII.
SLEEP IN JESUS.
"WEEP NOT; SHE IS NOT DEAD BUT SLEEPETH."--Luke viii. 62.
When the shadows of evening begin to fall, it is not difficult to prognosticate that the night is at hand; and, admonished by the increasing gloom, man, wearied by the tolls of the day, gladly looks forward to the hour of repose. Universal nature shares in the feeling of presentiment. The cattle seek the shed; the birds fly back to their nests; and the gentle flower folds its delicate petals, as if for sleep. Is It wonderful that as life closes in, especially when protracted to a good old age, the human spirit should feel an instinctive consciousness of approaching dissolution? or that the aged Christian, after long and patient endurance in his Master"s service, should joyfully antic.i.p.ate the hour of _rest?_ Yes, REST, not death; "For whosoever liveth, and believeth in me," saith the Saviour, "shall never die." Christ has tasted death for him, and the bitterness, which is the reality of death, is pa.s.sed away. His stedfast faith prevents the dawn of a brighter day, and what matters it, whether his sleep continue but a few hours, or be protracted through a period of centuries? The body can be sensible of no difference, and the spirit, transported far beyond the regions of dream-land, enjoys a happy and conscious existence in the presence of Him, who died, "That whether we wake or _sleep_, we might live together with Him." Mrs. Lyth looked, nay longed for the time of her departure; and as the hour drew on, seems to have had some pleasant premonitions of its approach. About a month before it occurred, she writes, "My first thought this morning was,
"We soon shall be landed, for death is in view, Almighty protection shall comfort us through; Released from our prisons, to heaven we fly, Exchanging all sorrows for mansions on high.""
"A few days of beautiful spring weather permitted her to enjoy an occasional walk, which was generally made subservient to some higher purpose than that of mere refreshment. Thrice her steps were directed to the Sanctuary, opportunities which she richly enjoyed. Of one of these she says, "I enjoyed the privilege of meeting my friends at the lovefeast, and hearing them speak of the power of grace to save; but my poor body is very feeble."
This short respite, however, excited in her mind no fallacious expectation of a much longer reprieve; and more than once she expressed her conviction, that, as the summer advanced she would be no better. The weather suddenly changed; and the prevalence of north and easterly winds, accompanied with rain, confined her to the house. To use her own expressive language, "June enters weeping, and yet (10th) remains in tears." This circ.u.mstance elicited almost the last effort of her poetic pen.
"Fairest month of summer"s Trine, Why dost thou remain in tears?
Ask not. "Tis the will divine; This shall dissipate my fears.
He, who ruleth in the sky, Knoweth what His creatures need; He can every want supply, Trust Him, and His promise plead.
Clouds may wear a frowning brow, Blasting winds may sweep around, He, who reigns above, knows how Best to make his love abound.
Then, I"ll cast my every care On my promise-keeping G.o.d; Honour Him by faith and prayer; Rest upon His faithful word.
Should the cloud continue still, Thou for ever art the same, All the workings of Thy will But proclaim Thy glorious name."
The last entries of her diary, which with a solemn significance just fill up the volume, we give in full.
"June 11th.--I expected to have received my ticket, but no one came, I clearly see no dependance can be placed upon the creature. On Thee, O Lord, let all my confidence rest! Glory be to G.o.d, though I am an isolated one, I am not left alone. I do feel drawn, after G.o.d, I have given myself to Him, and He is chief in my affection.
19th.--My seventy-eighth birth-day. I had intended writing, but the Lord saw otherwise. I was in bed three parts, of the day, and on the 20th very ill, having taken cold.
21st.--Thursday the longest day. I am very feeble, but have taken my pen to acknowledge the goodness of G.o.d to me for so long a period. At noon we had an awful thunderstorm, during which my soul was calm and peaceful. This is the Lord"s doing. I felt sweet trust and confidence in my Almighty Saviour. Afterwards I received my ticket at the hands of the Rev. Thos. Nightingale. On the ticket there is written, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with everlasting kindness have I drawn thee.""