Reina didn"t submit to her bait. "Even Mi-chan?"
"Even her."
Instead of thinking of all the times she ever bedded Michiko and wanted to lay with no one else, Reina picked up a pretzel and attempted to jam it up Aiko"s nostril. "I"m sure she"ll be excited to hear she"ll only be getting threesomes from me from now on," she said.
Aiko"s scowl transformed into shock. "Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, then?"
"My girlfriend, Aiko." It had a certain ring to it. The first sound in her name referred to the pure love and pa.s.sion between two people, after all. And the second leant itself to her trademark sweet naivete, which created an interesting foil to Reina"s jaded worldliness. If she"s my girlfriend, she"ll be there every time I f.u.c.k somebody. Maybe it was time Reina stopped going soft in her exploits. She could use an a.s.sistant.
"Maa, if you want to be my girlfriend, I guess I won"t stop you."
Aiko kicked back her seat and embraced Reina right there in the corner of the bar. She rained affection via planted kisses, murmured declarations at how much she would try to meld into Reina"s lifestyle. "I want to know what it"s like to sleep with all sorts of women," Aiko said. "And I want you there with me."
Something swelled inside Reina, and it took every ounce of willpower to stop it from spreading as a troublesome infection to her face. She took Aiko"s hand and squeezed it, eyes never once leaving hers as she beseeched one last kiss. On the other side of the bar, the server shook her head as if she no longer stood a chance with Reina. She could get some tonight. With the both of us. She would continue to climb the peaks of her s.e.xuality with as many women as possible, but now she didn"t have to do it alone.
Reina liked that thought.
Luggage rumbled and people shouted throughout one of Tokyo"s busiest train stations as if it were a certified zoo. Finding a corner to share tearful goodbyes in was about as easy as corralling children through the zoo while also separating the lions from the gazelles.
But Reina always knew how to find privacy.
Aiko stood a respectful distance away while her girlfriend hugged and kissed Michiko goodbye. In the three months since they declared their intentions for each other, Aiko had tolerated Reina"s infatuation with her best friend so long as they remained secure in the knowledge Michiko would return to America in the spring. Now that the springtime had arrived, Aiko decided to let them have their last few moments together however they wanted.
Reina attempted a kiss on the lips, but Michiko rebuffed her with a pat on the cheek. You idiot, you"re in public. Aiko glimpsed at the companion who stood on the other side of the ticket gates, picking at her nails. Apparently not everyone was as interested in this farewell.
"I"ll think of you every day." Maybe Reina thought she whispered that, but Aiko heard it as clear as she heard two suitcases colliding behind her and the subsequent apologies between strangers. "I"ll miss you so much."
"Ara ara, you shouldn"t be so dependent on me." Michiko"s chastis.e.m.e.nt was too gentle for somebody like Reina. "I"ll write to you when I can, but I"ll be very busy in Basic Training for a while. You"ll see within a couple months that you don"t need me as much as you think you do." She stroked Reina"s cheek and pulled on her ear. "Besides, you have this dutiful little girlfriend now to be your constant companion. You treat her well!"
Aiko pretended to find something fascinating on the floor. The longer Reina dragged this out, the more it would hurt her at the end of the day. Aiko planned to care for a mopey girlfriend for the rest of that Sat.u.r.day, even going so far as to have Reina come to her house to spend the night. They would have to swing by a love hotel first if Reina was in the mood for s.e.x before going home to Junko"s constant attention and interruptions, but Aiko had planned for that, too.
"Don"t go, Mi-chan."
"You know I have to go. Don"t be selfish."
They shared a small kiss. Aiko couldn"t hear what they whispered to each other, so she pretended they talked about music, or sports, or television shows. She wasn"t blind she knew Reina still harbored serious feelings for Michiko, but the fact remained she was leaving.
When Reina and Michiko parted again, it was with a clench of the fists from the former and tears from the latter. They said final farewells before Michiko pushed herself away and darted past the ticket gates, luggage in hand and companion reaching out to grab her arm. Reina continued to stare after her until Michiko was no more than a pink dot at the top of an escalator.
"Reina." Aiko stepped forward and took her hand. "Let"s go. It"s hot in here."
It took a little more coaxing before Reina finally walked with her, hand in hand, to another train line that would take them around to Shinjuku, where Aiko could more seriously soothe her girlfriend"s sadness. In the past three months she had practiced learning and tending to Reina"s s.e.xual desires, with or without another woman around them. Today it will be just her and me. Aiko squeezed her hand harder.
"I miss her already." Reina"s voice was devoid of emotion. "It"s not fair."
If there"s anything you"ve taught me, it"s that love isn"t fair. "Now don"t act like that. You"re not alone, Reina. You still have me, d.a.m.nit."
Reina looked down into her face as they approached the ticket machines for their line. At first Aiko thought she would argue, but then Reina smiled. "Yeah, I"ve still got you. Thank G.o.d, because I"d go crazy without you too."
"Really?" Aiko hugged Reina"s arm, the old woman in front of them shuffling like a caterpillar. "You need me?"
They crept closer to the ticket machines as the old woman fought with her change purse. Reina used her free hand to pat Aiko on the head. "Of course I need you. Aren"t you supposed to need your girlfriend to some degree?"
If only she knew how much I needed her. Aiko had tried to not fall so far in love so quickly, but with someone as beautiful, as interesting, as vivacious as Reina, it was impossible not to. Every day offered new insights into their growing relationship, from sneaking an underage Aiko into night clubs, to sitting in bedrooms and eating snacks, to attempting to find movies they could both agree to watch, and even down to the liar gymnastics that was keeping it all a secret from Junko. And without a man hanging around her house all the time last she heard, Daisuke was already dating another girl she had the peace to reflect on her budding feelings for a woman named Reina Yamada. Five months before, Aiko would have never believed she would spend most of her days with a girlfriend and most of her nights dreaming about her, but since that infection first spread to her heart, she had never known anything better.
She leaned her head against her girlfriend"s shoulder. "You know I"ll always be here for you, right?"
"Of course you"ll be. Because you"re in love with me." Reina"s chest puffed out with the expansion of her ego.
"And you love me too, right?"
The old woman dropped her change all over the station floor before Reina could respond with a perfect non-sequitur. She dropped to her knees and began picking up the coins while the old woman offered extensive apologies. Aiko stayed back and admired Reina"s nimble fingers. Heartbeats echoed in her ears.
She reserved a smile for Reina"s return. As they bought their tickets and meandered to the nearest platform, Aiko decided she didn"t care what crazy scenarios Reina cooked up for them, so long as it meant they could be together. She had never felt that way about another before.
It"s because I"ve never been in love until now.
Dark eyes, a deep voice, and words too deliciously crude for the public sphere. How was Aiko ever to know those were the ingredients for her first real and everlasting, adventurous love?
"Oi, Ai-chan, train"s here." Reina tugged on her hand. "Stop standing there and let"s go. What are you thinking about anyway? You look like you"ve just seen me naked."
Aiko giggled. "Believe it or not, I was thinking about something better than that."
They followed a small swarm of people onto the train, their bodies leaning against the doors when they closed again. "And what"s that? What could possibly be better than thinking about me naked?"
The train lurched forward, jumbling all of Aiko"s thoughts and feelings within her body, just as Reina did every time they made love. A storm of emotions thundered inside of her chest, and as she gazed upon Reina, bold and divine with her cavalier manners, only one possible word had the power to be heard.
"Hatsukoi."
"Eh," Reina said, thumping her head against the window. "Don"t put that sort of pressure on me!"
"I"ve got a good feeling about this." Aiko snuck her hand behind her girlfriend"s. "I"m going to do my best to make you happy. Just you see, we"re going to still be together twenty years from now."
Reina"s face scrunched as if she couldn"t believe that, or desire it. Yet Aiko knew that face well by now, with its hidden blush and downplayed smile. She b.u.mped her forehead against Reina"s shoulder to hide her own felicity.
A part of her hoped the entire train car could feel the powerful effects of her first love.
Hildred Billings is a j.a.panese and Religious Studies scholar who has spent her entire life knowing she would write for a living someday. She has lived in j.a.pan a total of three times in three different locations, from the heights of the j.a.panese alps to the hectic Tokyo suburbs, with a life in Shikoku somewhere in there too. When she"s not writing, however, she spends most of her time talking about Asian pop music, cats, and bad 80"s fantasy movies with anyone who will listen...or not.
Her writing centers around themes of redemption, s.e.xuality, and death, sometimes all at once. Although she enjoys writing in the genre of fantasy the most, she strives to show as much reality as possible through her characters and situations, since she"s a furious realist herself.
Currently, Hildred lives in Oregon with her cat, with dreams of maybe having another human around someday.
Connect with Hildred on any of the following:.
Website .:. Twitter .:. Facebook .:. Tumblr.
REN"AI RENSAI is an ongoing look at one lesbian couple"s relationship over the span of decades. Below is a short list of other t.i.tles currently available and those that are coming soon!.
AVAILABLE NOW.
"DAISUKI."
(Novella).
Two j.a.panese women attempt to balance their relationship with their society"s rigid gender roles, polyamorous relations, and the inability to say "I love you."
"HATSUKOI."
(Novel).
A young j.a.panese woman falls in love with a philandering lesbian.
"SEIKOU."
(Novel).
Three months of wedded bliss later, Reina is on the verge of her biggest breakdown yet. Between her gender dysphoria, lonely boss, hostile in-laws, and a young couple in constant need of her "help," Reina"s about to drag her wife Aiko down their darkest hole yet.
"KATAOMOI."
(Novel).
After moving in with Reina, Aiko becomes determined to make friends again. However, the group she becomes involved with has one member who is not impressed with her - Reina"s ex-girlfriend!
"MITSUSHIN."
(Short Story) As a Valentine"s Day gift, Reina decides it"s time to introduce her girlfriend into the wonderful world of menage.
"NANPAKAI."
(Short Story) For her birthday Aiko is taken to a risque nightclub, where she"s expected to seduce a random stranger.
"CHINSEKI."
(Short Story) A menage with a new friend forces Reina to reconsider her attractions and jealousy meter. Continuation of "NANPAKAI."
"SHIMONETA."
(Short Story) When Reina is roped into giving a s.e.x seminar in front of a dozen young women, she ends up with an unlikely student - her wife!
"TOKOIRI."
(Short Story).
Love is in the air on Aiko and Reina"s wedding day. Too bad it falls to pieces when Aiko comes down with a case of wedding night jitters!
COMING SOON.
"JIHAKU."
(Short Story).
Against her better judgment, Reina partic.i.p.ates with her wife in a local "newlywed" game for a chance to win a great vacation. What should be an easy win, however, throws Reina off her game when she sees who they"re up against!
"UMIIRO."
(Short Story).
Golden Week in Okinawa provides golden opportunities for fun in the sun. Hopefully not too much fun, because Aiko is worried about being banned for PDA!
"KOIb.u.mI."
(Novel).
Just as Reina is making headway with her gender dysphoria, Aiko is on the verge of her own mid-life crisis: she"s now convinced that only a baby can complete her life. And with a handsome, intelligent man waltzing toward her, will she begin to rethink the whole "lesbian" thing as well? Not if she listens to all the ghosts of her past cropping up like weeds.
Be sure to check out the new interactive REN"AI RENSAI website at: book, character, and setting info, along with opportunities to submit your own fan works, ideas, and questions! Check out the new MATCH MAKER quiz that will match you to your Ren"Ai Rensai soul mate!.
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