"I can see that. I hope you will learn that I"m a different man, too. I"m ready to settle down with the right woman," he admitted.
"I"m not sure I"m that person," she said.
"No pressure. I just wanted to let you know that I"ve changed, as well."
"I could tell right away. No BlackBerry in your hand during dinner," she said.
"With you by my side I"m not focused on work as much as pleasure."
She flushed. "You are very good about pleasure."
"Thank you." He kissed her hard and deep. "See you in the morning."
She nodded and walked to the car. He watched until the car drove away and then turned and headed back upstairs. He needed to know more about Becca but he had to be careful. He didn"t want to be the man to hurt her...again.
Four.
Becca woke early, as she always had since becoming a mom. She fed Ty his breakfast and then set him in his playpen while she checked her email. Last night she"d managed maybe two hours of sleep. Her dreams had been plagued with visions of Cam. The dreams were an odd mix of pa.s.sionate embraces and tearful explanations. And today she felt very apprehensive about inviting him to her house for breakfast.
But it was too late. Cam and she had too much between them for her to just let him walk out of her life this time. And she couldn"t move forward until he knew about Ty. It was going to be hard...how did you tell a man that he"d fathered a child with you nearly two years earlier?
She hoped he"d be accepting and understand why she hadn"t contacted him earlier, but she wasn"t too confident of that.
The paternity suit he"d mentioned yesterday bothered her. She wished she had more time to do some research on it. But when she"d done a cursory search of the internet, she"d found nothing.
She glanced over at Ty and thought about Cam. What would he think of his son? She should just tell him, she thought, now, before things went any further between them. But she was afraid.
And she hated to give up control of a situation. Right now she made every decision in Ty"s life. She chose the nanny and the food and when he went to bed. Once Cam knew about his son, everything would change.
Her life wasn"t easy, but it was hers. And the choices she made about Ty"s upbringing were hers and hers alone to make. She knew that when there were two parents, things could be difficult. Yet it was a dynamic she"d never experienced since just her mom had raised her.
Growing up alone with just one parent hadn"t been easy, but it was what she was used to. So once she"d realized she was pregnant and made the decision to go it alone, she"d settled into it very easily. She"d felt she already had the best example of how a mom handled being a single parent.
The doorbell rang and she glanced at the clock. It was nine. It was a little early for Cam, but she wasn"t expecting anyone else. She picked up the baby monitor, leaving Ty playing happily in his playpen, and headed for the door. A quick glance out the window confirmed that it was Cam.
She opened the door. He wore a pair of chinos and a golf shirt. He smelled of aftershave and looked well put-together. She felt frumpy in her slim-fitting yoga pants and T-shirt-so not ready to face the world or Cam Stern yet.
"You"re early."
"Good morning to you, too," he said with a smile. "I brought bagels and coffee so I hope I will be forgiven."
She shook her head. Cam threw her off balance. Even without trying, he was doing it to her this morning. She needed that thirty minutes to get her mind wrapped around how to tell him about Ty. "No, you"re not. I wanted to change out of messy clothes before you got here."
"You look lovely," he said.
"I don"t feel it. I should make you wait on the front step but that coffee smells really good."
"Then I will come in and sit in the other room while you get changed." He seemed so reasonable that she started to feel a bit like a grump.
"Sorry I"m being so grouchy, but I am not a morning person. You can come in and wait for me on the back patio while I get changed," she said. She opened the door and turned to lead the way through the house.
"I"ll want a tour later."
"If you"re lucky," she said. She led him to the back screened-in porch where she had a glider in one corner and a small round table with four chairs. In the winter months she had gla.s.s windows installed to make the room usable year-round.
"I will take care of breakfast. I brought everything we"d need."
She thought she was handling the surprise of him very well when one word from the baby monitor shattered her composure.
"Mama?"
"Mama?" Cam asked.
"I...I have a son. Sit down and I"ll be right back."
She left the patio and a perplexed Cam and went to get Ty from his playpen. She bent down and scooped him and kissed his little head. She hugged him close and closed her eyes, pretending that the next few minutes weren"t going to completely change their world. But there was no denying it.
As they returned to the back porch, Ty became talkative. "Hi, man," Ty said, from her shoulder.
"Cam, this is Ty."
Cam looked at Ty and then back at her. And then back at Ty again. She saw in his face...he knew there was something familiar about Ty.
"Hi, Ty."
Cam turned to face them both and held out his hand. Ty reached for it and tugged on his finger and then squirmed to get down. He could walk and crawl and really liked being independent.
She bent over to set him down, and he immediately toddled over to Cam. He held on to Cam"s leg and looked up at him.
Cam ruffled her son"s hair. "I don"t know if it is because the last baby I was this close to was Nate, but he reminds me a little of my brother."
Becca felt as if her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. This would be the perfect moment to tell him why. "Well, it"s funny you should say that-"
But his phone started ringing, and he pulled the BlackBerry out of his pocket. He glanced at the screen and then back at her.
"I have to take this. Do you mind?"
She shook her head and walked over to scoop up her son. She felt odd. She"d almost told him the most important bit of news he could hope to get and then business-work-had interrupted. Maybe that was a sign, she thought.
"I"ll go get changed and be back in a minute," she said, walking away.
She had to remind herself that when she"d considered calling Cam and telling him that they were going to have a child, she"d decided not to because he just didn"t seem like the type of man to want a family.
Their relationship had just been something to get them through the hot Miami nights. She knew that she was partially to blame for that. On some level, it had been exactly what she"d needed from him during that time. He hadn"t been ready for anything else, and she knew that because she"d bared her soul to him and he"d told her to hit the road.
There were moments when she still wasn"t sure she believed she was a mom. She still didn"t believe that her life had taken this unexpected turn and she was where she was today.
But she did want a new start. A part of her did want a partner to share the rest of her life with. And she and Cam did have s.e.xual chemistry in their favor. One thing that Becca had figured out about herself over the last two years was that she missed s.e.x and having a man in her life.
She entered her bedroom and set Ty on the floor while she quickly changed into some nice caramel-colored trousers and a light blue sweater. She put her hair up in a chignon after she washed her face and applied her makeup. Looking in the mirror, she thought she seemed normal enough, but inside she was a mess.
She sat down in the large padded armchair in the corner of her room. It had been her mother"s, and sitting there often made Becca feel closer to her.
"What am I going to do?" she asked out loud.
"Mama?"
She glanced over at Ty, who was walking slowly toward her, then decided crawling would be faster and dropped to all fours. "Yes, baby?"
"Where man go?"
She bent over and picked him up, holding him on her lap. "He"s still out there making us breakfast."
Becca tried to talk in full sentences to Ty even though she wasn"t sure he always understood things. She kissed his soft forehead and felt such joy, love and comfort just from holding him. She didn"t want to do anything to jeopardize that.
Her own mother had kept her father"s ident.i.ty from Becca until Becca was eleven. But her father hadn"t been a very successful man, and it hadn"t been easy for Becca to locate him. In fact, she"d searched more than once for him but never found a trace.
And that had left an emptiness inside of her. Something no amount of soul-searching or club-joining could fill.
There had been other kids of divorced parents at her school, but she"d been the only one who hadn"t known her father. Heck, she never even knew his real name.
She didn"t want that for Ty. Not when she had an opportunity to give him a father-his real father. She"d have to do it, she thought.
She stood up and walked out the door with a purpose. Cam Stern was going to learn the truth about Ty today, and then she"d deal with the consequences because she wanted her son to have everything that she"d never had.
She wanted him to go to good schools and have new bikes and nice friends. But she also wanted him to have a father. To have a man who"d play catch with him and talk to him. And teach him to drive to someday. And she wasn"t going to find a better man than the one who had unknowingly sired him.
Cam was still on the phone when she came out of the bedroom but looked up at her when he saw them. He smiled and then wrapped up his conversation. And despite her determination to tell Cam the truth, her determination to ensure that Ty had a relationship with his father, she faltered. Because she knew that Cam would never again look at her the way he did right now once she told him the truth.
Cam finished up his call. There was no way that Ty wasn"t his child. He looked just like Nate and had the same cowlick that Cam himself had. But how was that possible? He wasn"t a man who left things like that to chance.
Becca came back into the room holding the baby, and Cam waited to see how she would proceed. He was angry that she"d kept his son from him, but he wanted to hear what she had to say.
"I"m so glad our paths were brought back together. I felt like we had unfinished business after the way things ended," Becca said. "In fact I have something important to talk to you about."
"That sounds very cryptic."
"I hope that once I tell you...there"s no easy way for me to say what I have to, Cam. I want you to know that the last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you."
"I repeat-that sounds very cryptic," he said. He glanced again at the boy.
"Oh, man, there is no easy way to say this."
"Just do it," he said.
"Yes. Um...sit down," she said.
As soon as he sat down, she popped up and paced away from him.
She shoved her fingers into her hair and pulled. "You"re his father, Cam. I got pregnant when we were together."
"What?" he asked.
"You are Ty"s father," she said. There-it was out in the open, and now they could discuss it like two mature adults.
"I don"t believe it."
"What"s not to believe?"
"We used condoms every time."
"You know they aren"t one-hundred-percent reliable, right?"
"Of course I do. But this has never happened to me before, so don"t be snarky," Cam said, getting to his feet. He was the determined businessman she"d first met two years ago. A man used to getting answers. A man used to getting his way.
"I wasn"t trying to be sarcastic. I just have been struggling to tell you about Ty and it never occurred to me that you"d doubt he was yours."
"That"s where you made your mistake. I"ve had another woman accuse me of being the father of her child."
Becca put her hands up in the air. "I"m not going to argue with you about this."
"Of course you aren"t," he said. "I"m not sure I can believe that I have son, but I see the resemblance and I suspected..."
"You do have one. I"m sorry I didn"t tell you about him sooner but I never had any idea that you would care."
He turned back toward her, and she"d never seen anyone look angrier than he did. She took a step away from him, but he didn"t walk toward her.
"How would you know that?" he asked.
"We weren"t in a relationship, Cam. Don"t you remember-my boss didn"t even know we"d slept together." She"d been so overwhelmed by Cam that she"d hardly been able to think of what to do. Two years ago...she"d been twenty-five, and no matter how adult and mature she"d thought she was, well, she wasn"t. And Cam had made her feel...just feel. She"d had one other lover before him and it had been little more than a rushed coupling in a college dorm room. But Cam was a real man and he"d swept her away.
"Did you tell Russell?"
Becca felt horrified at the thought of her boss knowing she"d slept with one of his friends. She had kept that knowledge very close.
"No. Of course not. I didn"t tell anyone. I don"t think that Russell even knows I have a son. I told him I was leaving to start my own company. And he was my boss, not my confidant."
Each question was tearing at her confidence. She briefly wondered if she should have just kept quiet after all, then dismissed the thought.
"I got really sick a month after I left Miami and at first I figured it was just the malaise of a broken heart. I didn"t realize I was pregnant until a few weeks after I got back home."