Cam tried to always appear to his younger brothers as if he had it all together. It was easy enough when things were going well as they had been for the last few years. But when the company had initially struggled or when their parents had died and Cam had had to find the strength inside himself to step up and keep his brothers focused and happy, it had been hard.
"I try, but Nate, I know that life isn"t perfect. We grew up in the same house, didn"t we?"
"Yes. And I came out of it with my own baggage and lately I"m beginning to see that for you it"s a desire to make everything picture-perfect. No faults allowed."
Was that true? "I don"t think I"m that difficult."
"Listen, man, I love you. You"re my big brother and you always have my back, but you are one demanding son of a b.i.t.c.h and I think that you should accept that nothing is going to ever be as perfect in the real world as you want it to be."
Cam tucked that nugget away for later contemplation. He wasn"t going to change overnight or probably at all. He was too set in his ways.
"So who"s the designer?" Nate asked.
"Becca Tuntenstall. She used to work for Russell Holloway."
"Are you sure she"s the right choice? We don"t want our club to look like Russell"s." Nate scratched the back of his head. "It"s hardly my area of expertise. I just want to make sure I"m asking the right questions now that Justin is out of state."
Justin was their corporate attorney and handled most of the legal problems that cropped up. Recently, he"d negotiated a deal with the local community leaders to launch the Luna Azul Mercado, an upscale shopping center to complement the nightclub. It was fair to all parties involved, and Justin had wrangled himself a fiancee out the deal.
Cam didn"t know what was going on with his brothers up and getting engaged.
He smiled at his little brother. Nate had always been the charmer-the one who skated through life with a smile. Now he was stepping up, and Cam was proud of him.
"She"s done some work for other chains, as well. She"s the best designer for the job," Cam said. He"d already decided to give the a.s.signment to Becca if she proved worthy. He couldn"t uproot her life and not provide some work for her. Besides, he wanted her completely under his control. He was going to make her regret not coming to him when she"d first found out she was pregnant.
Nate"s expression changed. "Is she more than a designer to you?"
Cam hesitated. He wasn"t the type of person to talk about the women he was involved with, even to his brothers. Plus, she was the mother of his child...something that he had absolutely no idea how to tell his brothers. He wanted everything with Becca and Ty figured out and wrapped up before he said anything to either of them.
"Yes, she is."
"Wow. You haven"t been seriously involved with a woman since Myra."
Myra had been a mistake, and he"d been too young and too eager to have it all with her. Myra was the woman who"d brought the paternity suit against him. Did he just have bad taste in women or what? Myra had wanted him to pay for another man"s mistake, and Becca didn"t think he was worthy of his own son.
"She"s not really like Myra."
"I didn"t mean to imply that she was. How about if you bring Becca to our rehearsal dinner Friday night? A nice casual affair, and I think it would be nice to meet this gal."
But Cam wasn"t sure that he was ready for that. "I"ll let you know."
"Why not?" Nate asked. "If you are serious about her, I want to meet her and get to know her."
Cam rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and tried to find the right words to say to his brother. "We had an affair a few years ago and it ended abruptly, so this time I"m trying to get to know her more slowly. Listen, there is more going on than a normal relationship."
"Hanging out with the family doesn"t seem slow enough to you?" Nate asked.
"I don"t know, Nate," Cam said. He stopped and took a deep breath. "Um...I have a son and Becca"s the mom. I just found out about it and moved her down here, but I have no idea what we are going to do next."
Now it was Nate"s turn to pause. His eyes widened.
"I have a nephew?"
"Yes."
"How dare she keep him from us?" Nate said.
Cam smiled. Nate was always there for him and Justin. They had always been close, and family was more important to them than anything else. "I said the same thing. I have her in my house with my son and I have to figure out what to do next."
"Um, I vote for suing the h.e.l.l out of her and then cutting her off from the boy."
"She"s not like that," Cam said. "Ty needs her. She quit a high-powered job so she could work from home and raise him."
"d.a.m.n. I liked it better when I could envision her as the evil b.i.t.c.h queen."
Cam laughed for the first time since Becca had told him he had a son. "Thanks, Nate. I need that."
"I do what I can," Nate said and then pulled him close in a bear hug. "I"m here for you whatever you decide."
None of the Stern men was really built for long-term happiness in relationships. He was very glad to see his brothers settled with new fiancees, but at the same time a part of him feared that it wouldn"t last. And he wanted more happiness for them than their father had found in his marriage to their mother.
Cam had been watching after his brothers for so long that it was hard to realize he finally didn"t have to really worry over them any longer. He was at a point in his life where he had everything set in motion. Now he could relax.
"How about brunch on Sunday at my place?" Cam said. "I think that will give me the time I need to get used to Becca being there and figure out where we are going next." Then he could control everything if he had them to his house. He was the kind of person who didn"t like to be surprised by any eventuality.
He and Nate walked into the club, and, as always when he crossed the threshold into Luna Azul, he paused to appreciate everything he"d worked and sacrificed for to create. Jen was waiting for Nate and came over to them. Cam left them and made his way to the bar on the main floor. He needed to check on the situation with the Mercado and then meet with the head chef and make sure that everything was going well in the back of the house.
He told himself he walked away so quickly because there was work to be done, but he knew that it was really because he wanted what Nate and Jen had. Sure, he already had a son; now he needed to see what kind of arrangement he"d have with Becca. It couldn"t be anything as pure as what Nate and Jen had, right? He didn"t like himself for thinking that way, but he still felt so empty over the time Becca had stolen from him and his son.
Becca got out of bed in the middle of the night and walked out onto the porch. It was April, and the smell of jasmine was heavy in the air. She walked away from the house carrying with her the small listening unit to the baby monitor. She found a bench nestled next to the pool and sat down.
She knew that, for her, fear came calling in the middle of the night. It was the time when she felt most alone and most afraid of the decisions she"d made in her life. At this moment she felt she shouldn"t be here in this house. Coming to Miami had been part cowardice-because she hadn"t wanted to stand up to Cam-and part fantasy-because she"d hoped and prayed for some white knight to come and rescue her.
She didn"t know if that made her a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t because Cam was the man who"d left her high and dry. And while he wanted to play up the fact that he didn"t know about Ty, in her mind it came down to the fact that he hadn"t loved her.
She was here because...she glanced up at the moon and had no real idea why she was here. She felt lost in a way that she hadn"t felt since her mother died. Even Ty"s presence in her life, as unexpected as it had been, hadn"t shaken her the way Cam had. And she had no earthly idea what to do next.
"Trouble sleeping?" The voice was deep and steady. Cam. Of course he"d be out here when she was.
"Yes. I keep trying to figure out what to do next," she said. No use lying to him or pretending a bravado she didn"t feel. Tomorrow morning she might be stronger, but tonight she was lonely and confused and needed a pair of strong arms around her to tell her she wasn"t alone.
"With what?"
"With you," she said.
"I already told you what I want. I want you. I"m not sure what to do with you once I have you but I know I"m not going to let you walk right back out the door."
"How about if we try to build a realationship together?" she asked. "Something slow where we get to know each other beyond the s.e.x?"
"That won"t work."
She couldn"t really see his features since he was hidden by the shadows. He stood just out of the light provided by the landscape fixtures.
"Why not?" she asked. She shook her head and leaned forward to put her head in her hands. "I just need time to breathe."
She didn"t hear him move, but a moment later his big hand was on her shoulder rubbing in a circle. "I can give you that."
She turned her head to the side and looked up at him. He didn"t have on a shirt, just a pair of low-slung pj bottoms. It was hard for her to see him but she remembered that muscled chest with the light smattering of hair. She reached out and touched him. "I"ve dreamed so many times that you came back to me."
"You did?"
"Yes. It was so hard doing this alone and I wanted to tell you." She started crying, surprising herself with how much emotion she"d bottled up since Ty"s birth. "You have no idea...it was only the echo of your words that you wanted a mistress and nothing more that kept my silence."
He stroked his hand over her head and then bent down and lifted her up. He sat down on the bench with her or his lap. "You still should have told me, but I understand why you were hesitant to. I"m truly sorry."
"I am, too," she said, looking him straight in the eyes. She had no place to put her arm but around his naked shoulder, and she did just that.
"I want to start over. But not from a place of anger," she said.
"I can try," he admitted. "But I"m not making any promises. What do you suggest?"
"It"s obvious we both want to be parents to Ty. I suggest we try to work and live together for his sake."
"And s.e.x?" he asked.
"I"d like to see it develop naturally," she said. "Not because of some arrangement. Or out of spite."
She held her breath. Hoping that Cam was the man she"d glimpsed earlier tonight while they"d played with Ty and made him supper. Hoping he could see that with all this anger between them, they were never going to be able to move on.
"Okay," he said. "But if you hide anything from me again all bets are off. Ty will be my son alone and you will have no rights to him. I"ll make sure of that."
"I"m not hiding anything else from you," she said.
"I"m not kidding," Cam said.
"Neither am I," she promised. She wanted that family of her dreams too much to do anything to compromise it. And if Cam was offering her a second chance, she was going to jump on it with both feet.
He held her in his arms, and they both said little. His hands moved over her as she sat there just listening to the sound of his breathing. She knew that the answers she"d come here seeking were still just out of her reach. But she felt closer to her dreams of a real family and a man who she could trust than she"d ever been before.
When he tipped her head back and lowered his mouth to hers, she knew she should push away and go back inside. She knew that s.e.x with this man wasn"t safe for her. But she also knew that she"d been alone too long with only her dreams to keep her company-and that every one of them had been of him.
Six.
Becca might need some breathing room, but all Cam needed tonight was Becca. He"d heard her leave her room. He"d put her in the room next to his so he could come and visit her at night once she became his lover again. And he"d had no doubt that she would become his lover. He was determined to have it all this time.
Becca"s lie about their son had given him a nice safe place from which to approach this entire relationship. He didn"t trust her, and that meant he was safe from falling in love with her. And love was something the Stern men weren"t particularly good at. But making love to a beautiful woman-well, that was something else entirely.
And Becca was the only lover he"d never been able to forget. He skimmed his hands down her back and around her hips. He flexed his fingers and squeezed her before moving his mouth from hers.
He nibbled his way to her ear and traced the sh.e.l.l of it with his tongue. "Did you want me on the plane?"
"Yes," she said, her voice light and breathy. "Very much."
"Good," he said, rewarding her with a nibbling kiss at the base of her neck that sent shivers through her body. She shifted on his lap, arousing him even further.
"Have you thought about finishing what we started?" he asked.
She nodded. "But I have to ask you about your reputation as a playboy, Cam. Are you clean?"
That surprised a laugh out of him. "Yes, I am. I give blood regularly. Do you want to see my blood-donor card?"
She flushed. "No. I"m sorry if that made you uncomfortable."
"You had every right to ask," he said. "But tell me, Becca. I want to hear from your lips how much you want me," he said. He brought one hand down low between her legs, stroking her b.u.t.tocks, and then he lifted her up so she straddled him on the bench.
The fabric of her nightdress fell away from her chest and he had a quick glance of her cleavage. He reached up, cupping her right breast. He rubbed his palm over the globe until he felt her pert nipple blossoming against his hand.
He leaned down and licked her shirt where her nipple was pressed, and she shivered again, her hips moving against his erection.
"Tell me," he said.
"I thought of nothing but that moment and wished you"d taken the kiss so much further," she said. "I want your mouth on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and your hands all over me as I move against you."
Her words enflamed him, and he felt his erection strain against the fabric of his pajama pants. He pulled her night dress up and off her body and stared down at her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
She put her hands on his chest and leaned toward him to kiss him. Her nipples rubbed against his chest, and he felt her rotate her shoulders so that they brushed through his chest hair. He put his hands on her b.u.t.t and lifted his hips. His erection brushed between her thighs. She moaned and rode him a little harder, her hips moving back and forth without the motion of his hands.
She reached down between them and tried to free him from his pants. He lifted his hips off the bench and reached down to do it himself. Immediately he felt her wet hot core rubbing over his length. He groaned and closed his eyes, hoping to give himself a little breathing room, but he was ready to come. He wanted to be inside the velvet glove of her body. He wanted to hear her breath catch and then make her call his name again and again while he filled her.
"Are you on the pill?" he asked, barely able to get the words out. His voice sounded guttural and deep to his own ears.
"Yes. I am not trusting condoms anymore."
"Thank goodness," he said. He shifted her on his lap and maneuvered his hips so the tip of his erection was poised at the entrance of her body.
She quivered, and he felt her melt as she started to push down on him. To try to take him. But he wanted to be the one to take her. He held her still with his hands on her hips and pushed up into her one slow inch at a time. She bit her lip and moaned deep in her throat. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and he felt her tightening around him, but he kept his entrance slow and steady. He wanted it to last forever because he knew once he was buried hilt deep, he was going to give in to the tingling in his spine that called for him to thrust into her until he came.
"Cam...."