aIam an ordinary guy, Tim,a he said affably. aWeird science is beyond me. I have to believe the experts. But Raimer reported that the Mexican lad was adult in everything but size. The same appears true of you and probably your, ah, cousin.a I turned to him. A leer in his expression had transformed his craggy face into something truly repulsive.
He continued, aBut if what they say is indeed a fact, you are one lucky fellow. Thereas probably not a man alive who wouldnat sell his soul for what you have.a aAnd what is that?a I asked rhetorically already knowing the direction of the manas thought.
aAt a certain point in his life every guy must regret not knowing as a youngster what he has learned as an adult.a He grinned up at me.
aAbout s.e.x, of course.a ah.e.l.l yes, about s.e.x! Can you imagine a hard-on over auto bodies?a Alice and I had discussed numerous times with Clara how exhilarating s.e.x had become in our new youth, but it was not a subject I welcomed with this crude stranger. I remained silent.
aFrom the look of you youare scarcely old enough to squirt, but my agents in Hightower inform me youave been laying everything in sight.a aNow youare speculating!a I objected. aHow could they possibly know that?a aNot speculating, investigating!a he replied smugly, leaning back in his chair. aIt would be a fascinating case if we could argue you were in fact an adult having s.e.x with twelve year olds.a I returned to the window. A light, wet snow had begun to fall on the few pedestrians of Sunday afternoon.
Avery continued to speak, something similar to envy in his voice. aG.o.d! You would find it easy to have your way with kids, hiding in that boyish disguise. Youad know right off which girls were curious and could be sweet-talked and which ones were lost causes. Youad also be able to spot the older girls and women who might want to play with you as a live doll.a aBut you donat believe it,a I reminded him.
aExcept that you obviously know what Iam talking about. Whatever you are is not twelve years old, Tim. Reversion indeed! I think so far weave just failed to find the true explanation.a aYou certainly have a suspicious mind,a I said with a sneer.
aHah! Thatas one of my prerogatives, like carrying a gun.a He leaned forward with his elbows on the table. aHave you done it with a boy yet? Thereas a picture of a boy in your file whoas pretty like a girl. Is he a close friend?a aRitchie,a I mumbled. It seemed ages since I had last seen him.
aIs that his name? I canat believe youad let that opportunity escape. A half grown c.o.c.k and no hair, I bet. Just like you.a aDo you want to suck it?a I burst out angrily, hand moving towards my fly. aPerhaps youad like to take a few pictures for later use.a aYou watch your mouth!a he shouted and sprang to his feet so abruptly his chair fell over backwards.
He stood at least six four, broad as a wrestler, but I was not intimidated. It was already obvious he couldnat touch me.
aYouare a big guy,a I said with a slight toss of my head. aDo you have difficulty fitting into J. Edgaras dresses?a He stared at me blankly. He understood head been insulted, but he didnat know the reference, not in 1948. The phone rang before he could think of a response. He glared at me as he listened, mumbled a few words and hung up.
aYou may go now,a he announced abruptly and walked to the door, which he left open behind him.
Raimer waited outside with my women to take us downstairs.
Despite having done without lunch, both Alice and myself claimed no appet.i.te as we sat around the table in Claraas kitchen. But somehow this supremely capable woman, within hardly five minutes of entering the house, was able to serve us hot roast beef sandwiches au jus. We made them disappear with alacrity and without questioning their provenance a" at least not then.
aTonio!a cried Alice, staring at me.
aHow did he do it?a I asked, staring back at her.
She nodded slowly. aWhen he asked me how it worked, I shouldave realized.a I had to grin. aHe comforted you a lot, did he?a aI told you he had a talented tongue. In every way.a aYeah, talented. Did you understand what he did to Raimer?a aHuh! I thought it was more what Raimer did to him!a I shook my head. aIt wasnat Raimer that killed him, at least not according to Raimer. But didnat you notice? After his precision about Yaeger and the sound barrier, Tonio only gave them hints. He tantalized them, telling them something big would happen at a specific time but not exactly what. Do you see his strategy?a She had just taken a huge bite of sandwich. Now she worked her mouth around it and said dryly, aIall bet youare about to tell us!a aWell, I see it and admire it. He was walking a tightrope. He needed to show his importance without playing his whole hand.a She stared thoughtfully at me, chewing side to side.
I continued, aHe was not one to go it alone. I donat think I ever heard him with an original thought. Getting rich in the stock market was not his cup of tea. Impressing people with his knowledge in the case of Raimer, or his long tongue in your case, was his game.a She made a face. aWell, it didnat work, did it?a aThereas always the unexpected.a I shook my head. aWatch out for impatient interrogators.a aIall take the stock market.a aNo, you wonat. Youall take me while I take the market.a She shrugged. aThe same thing.a She looked at Clara. aWhatas your opinion, dear lady? How big a pickle are we in?a The woman swallowed a bite of her own sandwich. aThatas not clear yet.a I said, aWhile you two were taking a leak, Avery let slip a few things. Tonio mentioned the multi-continua behind Reversion but he couldnat prove it, of course. The government is of two minds about us, believers in Reversion and doubters. The doubters are perhaps in the lead a" or were until today.a Clara looked sharply at me. aYou were too forthcoming, Tim. You did shut it off, but not before you had made some serious admissions.a I nodded. aIam beginning to see that we should have antic.i.p.ated something like this, enough to practice behaving as kids.a Sighing, she nodded too. aYes, your vocabulary and understanding are obviously far from childlike.a She chuckled wryly. aBut then, you two could hardly play the child after being admitted to graduate studies at the university.a aOh. Right.a I took a breath. aWhat do you foresee as our hazard?a Alice spoke up. aI already told you. Slavery.a Clara added, aAnd torture to make you talk every time the Russians act up.a I stared from one to the other with a sinking feeling, knowing only too well it was possible. I asked softly, aWhat can we do, Clara, besides run?a She shook her head decisively. aWe donat need that yet. Iave noticed one thing about the American system. It does have one good defense against a rogue government: a press that sniffs out cover-ups with the tenacity of a bloodhound. Perhaps we need to prepare the ground just in case.a aBy doing what?a aBy getting to know the neighbors, throwing more parties, letting them see what fine Americans we are.a She grinned at me. aYou need to rescue the mayoras son, if he has one, stuck up a tree.a aGood idea,a I agreed dryly, taking the doctoras card out of my pocket.
aWhatas that?a asked Clara.
aWe donat want to start out like the boy who cried, aWolf!aa I went into the hall to the telephone, leaving Alice to explain.
Chapter 9: The Too-Clean House.
When I sat down for breakfast, Clara had already poured my morning c.o.ke. Alice raised her cup of coffee to her lips but paused. Eyes widening, she noted, aI thought the doctor said he would have to remove your tattooing!a I responded, aLet me see your other wrist.a She raised the hand to the table. Both wrists were free of tape and showed no evidence of bruising. She tossed her head. aI threw the wrappings away. They donat hurt at all.a aI heard him say you should wear it for several days.a I looked at Clara. aI didnat know medicine was so incompetent in 1948.a aItas not,a she stated, looking distantly over my head.
aJust Dr. Grienbaum?a I sniffed. aI was surprised he didnat order x-rays for Aliceas wrists. But why would he tell me I had to come to his office to remove the gunpowder?a Alice grinned. aAnd males say they donat need mirrors!a aThey need them,a I admitted stiffly, ato shave.a Claraas face was blank. Too blank. Suddenly I recalled a few things.
I studied her. She wouldnat meet my eyes. aClara,a I said softly, adonat you think itas time to clue us in?a aClue you in?a she repeated, looking down at the tabletop.
aThe anomalies are starting to mount up.a aAnomalies?a aAre you practicing as a parrot?a I demanded snidely.
aTim!a Alice protested.
Clara looked up at me at last. Her heart-shaped face showed concern and something else. She bit her lip. Then she squared her shoulders and composed her expression. aWhat anomalies, Tim?a aI suspect itas a long list.a aTell me.a aWell a We can begin with my forehead and ear and Aliceas wrists. I guess sprained wrists can get well overnight, but powder particles embedded in the skin a"a aYes, yes.a She interrupted, waving a hand impatiently. aWhat else?a aI was going to say that I found loose black particles on my pillow, too big for dust, which is what caused me to check the mirror in the first placea What else, you ask? Letas go back. You served us a hot supper last night when we had hardly hung up our coats. How could you possibly do that? And those fake birth certificates with the so-official looking seals that the FBI nevertheless believes are absolutely authentic a" howad you manage that? Hmm. Given that somebody tipped them about us being special, how did the Russians know wead be in that restaurant? I canat believe Rosalind is a spy.a aShe may have told someone,a Alice suggested, aquite innocently.a aThat she was taking a couple of kids to lunch? Her mother, maybe?a Clara said, aYouall soon find out about the Russians.a I blinked. aWhat do you mean?a She took an impatient breath. aAnything else on your list?a aThe closets,a said Alice.
aYeah, the closet here and the one in Hightower with the super-duper locks. Why do they hum?a When I ran down, Alice added another item. aAnd the self-cleaning houses. Our dirty clothes we throw in the hampers only to show up the next day in our chests of drawers, cleaned and pressed.a I contributed, aAnd you still havenat told us how you made those Mandelbrot paintings.a Clara chuckled humorlessly. aI wondered if you noticed that I hadnat.a aOh, we noticed!a I declared. aWhile weare at it, you never said how you got so filthy rich. Iad guess on the stock market, but Iave never caught you calling your broker.a I recognized a flicker of apprehension in her face. She got up from the breakfast table and went to stand before the sink, her back turned to us. Her fists were clenched. Alice and I stared at each other in wonder.
aTim,a Clara muttered. She heaved a sigh and turned around. aI meant to tell you. Both of you. When your degrees are conferred.a aTell us what?a aHow much more is available to you than you realize.a I considered the implications of that. aBecause of you?a aBecause of me and where I derive.a aFrom the Twenty-Fourth Century?a aYes. And because of the fact that you are my grand obsession.a Iam sure my astonishment showed. aAre you saying the people of your time have found a way to transmit more than minds between the continua? My math says thatas impossible!a aYour math is still right. What we found was a way to enlarge the storage capacity of a mind a" by orders of magnitude, then transmit the whole of it.a Her face contorted. aDonat look at me as if Iam some kind of monster! I always had genius-level intelligence, though not so high as yours, nor even approaching Aliceas. My intelligence was not enhanced. The only difference is that I have in my head all human knowledge that was a" will be a" publicly available in 2398, including the old records from the Twentieth Century, organized and more readily accessible to my consciousness than even your computerized encyclopedias of 2002.a aHow is it stored?a demanded Alice, the computer expert.
The woman turned to her. aI can give you all the details that you wish. Let me say now only that the process subtracts from the brainas tremendous redundancy and in those detached neurons subst.i.tutes data-coded DNA for all functionality beyond simple cell maintenance. The level of complexity and thus capacity increases by many orders of magnitude.a Alice blinked, wheels visibly turning.
I a.s.serted petulantly, aThought you said nanotech was outlawed in your time!a aThis isnat nanotech, quite. Itas nan.o.biology.a aHuh?a aI told you we retained Springeras electrostatic scheme to view the molecular scale. Thatas key also to control of living cells. The human race in my time is master of its bacteria, fungi and viruses. In fact, Tim, we learned to direct them, to control their behavior, not just to kill them.a aHuh?a I goggled at her.
aGood G.o.d!a murmured Alice.
Alice is smarter than I? I put that aside for later consideration.
aAnd I have all that information.a Clara put a finger to her temple. aRight here.a I asked, aHave you been able to apply it?a aOh, yes. And you will take it even farther, I am confident.a aHow have you applied it?a Her eyes twinkled. aOne of my early projects was building a biological computer, that is, a device with a programmable brain. To test it, I had it produce those Mandelbrot paintings that so inadequately mystified you.a aWhy ainadequately?aa aBecause you didnat press me for the explanation.a I protested, aBecause we respected your privacy, which is the same reason we didnat ask you about your self-cleaning house and your humming closets with bank-vault locks.a She smiled. aI didnat think to camouflage the locks.a aWhere is this wonderful computer?a Alice asked.
aReplaced long ago. Of course I have others now.a The womanas smile vanished. aPrivacy.a She shook her head. aThereas our true problem.a aAmong ourselves?a asked Alice. aWhat privacy?a aYou still have an illusion of it,a Clara remarked, looking away.
aNot much illusion,a the girl retorted. aThe only time Iam out of sight of one of you is at school or in the bathroom.a Clara shook her head. aNot even then, Alice. You are never out of my sight.a The younger eyes narrowed. I said quickly, aExplain what you mean, Clara.a The woman took a deep breath. aAll right. I guess I have to do it sooner or later. Brace yourselves, darlings. Youare in for a series of shocks, but please remember always, I love you both to death.a Inset in the wall above the kitchen sink was a small, circular window, an eight-inch peephole perhaps designed to let a mother spy on children playing in the back yard. Clara grasped a bracket set into the side of it and pulled. The window rotated inward on a vertical hinge, somewhat as a porthole on a ship. I had not realized it opened at all!
But that was merely the beginning. With wings spread in a stall and only inches of clearance a small gray bird sailed through that opening and landed on Claraas outstretched finger. It immediately folded its wings and looked twitchily around at us. Its head was black with white streaks. It could hardly have been more than three inches long.
aThis is a chickadee,a Clara intoned. aIt is friendly and wishes to tell you so.a As her voice died the bird warbled shrilly, aDee-dee-dee-dee.a Alice got to her feet and approached. Gently the woman swung her hand around until the bird was perched almost in the girlas face.
aYou caused it to sing?a she asked.
aYes.a aHow?a aMilliwatt radio, powered by biological mechanisms, works very well at this range.a aDo it again.a Now the bird changed its tune: aSweet-sweet-sweet.a aGood G.o.d!a Alice exclaimed.
I licked dry lips and asked again, aSo what?a aWatch.a Clara raised her other hand before the bird, which leaned down, opened its beak and deposited a small black spheroid with a red dot a" h.e.l.l, a ladybug! a" upon her palm. The bug spread its wings and flew up to perch in the lobe of the womanas ear. I surged to my feet. Would it crawl into her ear ca.n.a.l? Apparently not yet.
aSo the bird delivered you a ladybug,a I noted.
Alice had observed more than I. aIn the middle of winter!a Clara smiled. aProtected from the cold in the birdas craw.a aSo what?a Iam sure my amazement sounded almost belligerent.
aSo an enhanced insect brain is able to store hours of highly detailed environmental samplings.a aTemperature and humidity?a aOh, them too. But scenes of human actions and conversation are much more interesting. And no one notices a beetle hanging high in a corner.a I stared at her, at last beginning to understand.
The ladybug reversed its path, flying from earlobe to palm and folding its wings. The chickadee snapped it up in its beak and jerked its head presumably to swallow. In any case the bug disappeared. With a flutter of wings the bird launched itself into the kitchen air, swooped sharply and vanished outside through the circular window. The woman pushed it closed.
aSit down,a she said, aand finish your breakfasts before they get completely cold, then Iall show you a recent recording.a We obeyed dumbly. Clara had just performed real magic of a kind reminiscent of fairy tales. My hand was shaking.
aTim,a she admonished, aegg is falling into your lap. Please spread your napkin.a aYes, Mother,a I responded sarcastically and automatically.
aMother!a Alice sniffed, picking up her fork. aAnd what does that make you?a aA mother lover,a I submitted, biting off a chunk of ham. aDid you cook this, Clara?a aI caused it to be cooked,a she said, sitting down before her own plate. She looked at me wistfully. aWould that I were your mother!a aI prefer you as a lover,a I said around the food.
aIt would make no difference to that. Think what control at this level means.a aOf course!a I said, snapping my fingers. aThatas why you donat worry about contraception.a aExactly.a I recalled something. aThat white powder in Harveyas drink, aBC plus a little insurance,a you said. What did you really do to him?a Her eyes were cold. aHarvey Gambel Springer will never father a child. His spermatozoa are now and forever curiously susceptible to the protective acidity of the v.a.g.i.n.a. None can survive to reach his partneras fallopian tubes.a I felt a chill. aIam d.a.m.ned glad I didnat study nanotech.a Alice sniffed. aYou couldnat until Drexler named it in the Eighties.a aThen Iam d.a.m.ned glad I never thought up the idea.a aThat was Richard Feynman in the Sixties.a aI mightave known.a Clara was first to finish. She excused herself and went upstairs. Alice and I stared silently at each other, eating the last of our breakfast, not yet prepared to discuss these incredible events.
The woman returned from her room with a strange object in each hand. She held out one to both of us. aTry these.a They were opera gla.s.ses, the short, wide-field type of only two or three power. Her hand slipped into a pocket of her robe and pa.s.sed each of us a flesh-colored acandy kiss.a aPut that in an ear and hold the gla.s.ses to your eyes as if you meant to look out the side window.a We obeyed her. I heard a manas voice in my ear as I raised the opera gla.s.s, facing toward the bright morning sunlight flooding through the large side window. I saw a scene in both eyes: a conference table with several people around it: Clara, Alice, myself, Halleck, Raimer and Avery. I recognized Raimeras voice. aMrs. Edgeworth, are you in fact the boyas aunt?a The depicted Clara responded clearly, aWe have already gone over this.a aPlease, maaam. This is for the record.a I sat in amazed fascination as yesterdayas meeting with the FBI played out in perfect detail. The kitchen table and my present companions faded from awareness. The camera a" meaning whatever captured this image a" was high at one end of the room. It was a wide-angle shot that, playing back in the opera gla.s.ses, filled half my own field of view. The stenographer, Vi, sat below me in the foreground, the top of her head visible along with the notepad and its curly shorthand loops. The other six people were gathered around the table as I remembered. My face was only too recognizable. The resolution was incredible! My own eyeas registry of the original scene could have been no better.
Aliceas comment in the restaurant, that I was a poor liar, proved on the mark. When Raimer mentioned Tonio, my surprise and consternation were obvious, though I thought at the time to exhibit only stolid indifference. I made a note to ask Clara why she had been forced to chuckle at that strategic moment, behavior Raimer had interpreted so accurately.
I was not at all impressed with my own performance, especially later when I faced the huge chieftain alone. I ended up as a child taunting his elder to react, when in fact it was the other way around. Clearly Avery got more from our interview than I did!
The image jumped. Artificial light illuminated the room instead of the light from the windows. The stenographer, Vi Jones, entered ahead of bald Raimer. She took a seat across the table, he next to the door, leaving it open. She sat with notepad spread before her, pencil poised.
He said, aThis is the protection schedule for UGH.a Vi giggled while her pencil looped. aThatas U.G.H., right? Tell me again what it means.a Raimer grunted. aSome of Averyas irony, a.s.signed while we were still looking for them. aUnnatural Genius Hunt.a It means those two Reverted kids. You do know, donat you, Vi, not a word about them can get out of this office? In particular you canat talk about that Reversion bit.a aSure. I keep a lot of secrets around here.a aI know you do, you sweetie. All right, I want Halleck and Campbell to start the watch with a ten-hour heel and toe. Weall add Smith when he finishes that surveillance on Tuesday. I mean, add him on Wednesday. Give him a day off.a aIs three enough for a 24-hour watch?a aNo, but Avery has more help coming. The director definitely doesnat want the Russians to get these kids.a aSo who do you want to take the duty tonight?a aCampbell can start. Heas had the day off. That Russian wiretap Berensky found on the Edgeworth phone line: tell Berensky weare taking it over. It will give us advance notice on their movements. Add it to his list. Also make a note for me to get the Edgeworth dameas permission for it. Might as well do it legally. She ought to be very willing after that attempted kidnapping.a He waited briefly while her pencil flew. When she looked up, he added, aAnd make out the application for a tap on Peyton Dell. His dossier has a red flag. Avery snarled at me for overlooking that, but heas the one who pa.s.sed it by!a aJust his home?a ah.e.l.l, no! Office too.a aYou think the kid was right?a she asked, still scribbling.
aItas too good a chance to overlook. We know he corresponds with their consulate here. Avery has asked to close that down but Washington wonat agree. Theyare afraid of a reciprocal closing in Leningrad. I donat know what makes them think they get more from the Russians than a"a A door slammed somewhere in the building.
The woman folded up her notebook. aYou think thatas Avery?a aHe was the last one here. That was the main door. Well, Vi, my sweet, the catas away.a She grinned. aAnd now the mice will play.a Both of them stood up. She reached under her skirt, bending and stooping. Raimer dropped his pants and shorts, pushed the chair back and sat down again. She hurried around the table, leaving pink panties on its surface.
aOoo!a she murmured. aAll ready for me.a He grinned smugly. aIave been encouraging it.a She threw a nylon-encased leg over his extended hairy ones, settling into his lap facing him. His hand slipped between them. Her hips performed a hook and twist.
He chuckled. aIam not the only one who was ready.a aIam always ready. Oh G.o.d, Paul, that feels good!a He chuckled. aThe advantage of bald heads.a Their arms went around each other and their faces met while hips rolled in counterpoint rhythm. His chair creaked. That and their breathing were the only sounds in the building.
I heard Alice say, aWhat was his t.i.tle, supervisor? That son of a b.i.t.c.h! She ought to sue him.a I lowered the gla.s.ses. Alice was still holding onto hers with both hands. Clara leaned against the sink with a wry smile.
I said incredulously, aYou think Vi is being s.e.xually coerced?a Alice answered, aShe can surely claim it!a a40 years from now,a I muttered and turned to Clara. aYou want to tell us how this works?a aI released a beetle in that room. It flew out behind Raimer and Vi. The chickadee was waiting when they opened the outer door. It brought the beetle to me.a aThe same beetle?a asked Alice, who had finally lowered her gla.s.ses. We both removed the earpieces.
aNo. Itas much easier to co-opt a fresh beetle than to erase the storage of a used one.a Aliceas eyes glittered. aWhat happened to this one?a aShe became the chickadeeas reward.a aSome reward!a Clara chuckled. aI a.s.sure you the bird thought so.a aAnd these gla.s.ses?a I asked. aHow do they work?a aBy means of white light diffused and transmitted from some external source such as that window. It has not yet been noticed in 1948 that certain primitive retinal cells can work in reverse. That is, nerve impulses can cause them to absorb or transmit light of the frequency to which each is dimensionally attuned. I have replaced the objective lenses of those gla.s.ses with living tissue, consisting of a translucent substrate coated with avian retinal cells, having a salamanderas veins and gut for support and another insect brain for data storage and control. I can download them with an houras images by holding them close to my head for a few seconds.a Alice may indeed be faster on the uptake. While my astonishment was still settling in, she asked, aThen you donat need opera gla.s.ses to get the report!a aThatas right. When you two have won your degrees so you can leave Chicago, Iall install that capability in your heads too.a aMy G.o.d!a I breathed, turning the gla.s.ses this way and that. They were identical to standard opera gla.s.ses, including a Bausch and Lomb imprint on the lens rings. I noticed two small holes on either side of each lens barrel. One was dry. The other seemed moist. On an impulse I shoved it under my nose and sniffed: faintly offal.
aHow often do you feed it?a I asked dryly.
Claraas eyes twinkled. aItas quite efficient. It emits no energy except a very slight amount of heat. Each lens needs a CC of beef stock about once a month.a aIf you use two beetles, can you sync them and get 3D images?a aOne beetle has two sets of eyes, you know.a She gestured toward the gla.s.ses. aWhat you saw was 3D, though set to wide-angle it is far less noticeable.a aImplying a zoom capability?a aBy limiting the field, yes. But it gets grainy. Unfortunately a beetle cannot guess what you might consider important.a I laid my instrument on the table and pushed back my chair. aWeave learned a little,a I summarized. aThe Russians found out about our trip to Spatenhaus because they had tapped our phone line. But how did they get interested in us in the first place? Maybe it wasnat Dell, though itas interesting the FBI has a red-flagged dossier on him, whatever that means. Iall bet he at least verified something about us for the Russians. Heas still obsessed with a certain Russian woman. Wonder why he didnat marry her and bring her back with him.a Alice sniffed. aBecause sheas more useful to the NKVD where she is.a aYeah, you may be right. What about the rest of my list, Clara?a aList it again.a aHuh! I shoulda wrote aem down. All right. Aliceas wrists and my gunpowder marks.a I stared at her. aHave you started controlling our bugs?a aOnly marginally. You may have noticed that head colds and coughs have troubled neither of you this winter, though you told me, Alice, that half your Russian cla.s.s was out for colds. I kissed your face and earlobe last night, Tim, as we made love, if you recall. Nan.o.biots in my saliva caused your skin to eject the powder particles and grow over the cavities during the night.a Alice sniffed. aBut you didnat kiss my wrists!a aYour tendons had to be strengthened from the inside. I blew programmed nan.o.biots into your lungs as we kissed.a aMy G.o.d!a I breathed again.
Clara laughed softly. aDoes that make me a monster, Tim?a aN-no.a aThen please look upon me with love instead of horror.a aIam sorry, my darling,a I admitted, squaring my shoulders. aYou did warn us of shocks.a aTheyare not over yet.a aThe self-cleaning house,a said Alice. aThatas gonna be a doozer.a aWell,a Clara demurred, aitas not truly self-cleaning!a aThen what cleans it?a Clara leaned forward over the table. Casually her arm swept out and knocked over my tumbler of c.o.ke, still with about an inch of dark liquid in the bottom. It fell toward the center of the table, where its content mostly splashed.
aWhat the h.e.l.l?a demanded Alice, sliding her chair back.
aWatch,a said Clara, retreating from the table.
Suddenly I heard a humming buzz, growing louder. A dark shimmering cloud swept into the kitchen from the hall. It swooped onto the tabletop, where I finally recognized the individual forms of a wasps!
I surged away from the table involuntarily, knocking over my chair, stumbling to my feet, ready to flee.
But the swarm of insects ignored the humans. They settled on the sticky spilled liquid in churning clumps, their buzzing greatly reduced. Within five seconds they lifted off the table, buzzing fiercely again, formed into their writhing cloud and zoomed back into the hall. The humming died away. The enameled tabletop gleamed spotlessly.
Aliceas eyes were popping. Iam sure that mine were bulging exactly as she had described them for the FBI. I could only gasp, aThose are wasps!a Clara stood with eyes dancing, a hand over her mouth. aYes, they are. But even if you crush them they wonat harm you.a Alice caught her breath. aYou clean house with wasps? But how do they do the cooking? And the laundry?a The womanas humor faded. aBrace yourselves,a she advised, aand look again in the doorway.a I spun about almost reluctantly, expectant some monstrous robot, thus momentarily overlooking what stood there a" until it bowed low as if to conclude a stage performance. It was a small brown monkey with a black head and tufted ears, standing less than two feet high. Behind it curled a tail, the last half of which formed a tight coil.
It straightened up a" he straightened up a" and raised his sharp-nailed right hand, palm forward, as if greeting us. Suddenly he turned a forward somersault, stood erect and again raised his hand.
aHow cute!a simpered Alice breathily.
I would have turned to stare at her in astonishment if the monkey had not obviously reacted to her remark. He clapped his hands several times over his head as if applauding, bowed once more, and lifted a piece of metal from a fine chain around his neck. He put the thing to his mouth a" a whistle? a" and leaned forward. I heard only the hiss of air, but it was nevertheless a signal.
Feet scampered in the hall and several other monkeys identical to the first appeared to form a phalanx of four, three monkeys deep, behind him. A dozen new monkeys now faced us. And bowed simultaneously.
Alice clapped. Shortly I joined in. When we ceased, they stood up and waited pa.s.sively.
aThese are your chefs and maids?a asked Alice in wonder.
aOur chefs and maids,a Clara corrected. aThese are Capuchins, native to the Brazilian rainforest. They are my abject slaves, yours too when you graduate, but I a.s.sure you they donat object to their status in the slightest. Sit quietly and watch.a The first two ranks of monkeys swept forward, jumping to the tabletop, from there to the sink, in the process transferring all our plates, cups, tumblers and silverware. A paper napkin was s.n.a.t.c.hed from my lap. I had a glimpse of it and others vanishing below the raised lid of the trashcan while water ran into the sink. One monkey was scattering washing powder over the stacked dishes.
Alice and I sat in complete bemus.e.m.e.nt under Claraas proud smile while this small troop washed our dishes along with the greasy frying pan, dried them all, put them away in the proper cupboards and hung up the dishcloths. As they were finishing up, the earlier buzzing renewed itself, only stronger. A larger swarm of wasps appeared, settling on the table, on the floor where some of my c.o.ke had spattered, and on the sink among the monkeys. Neither kind of animal interfered with the other. Shortly the monkeys retreated to their formation, where the rear rank of four and the a alpha male? a" waited stoically. Within half a minute the wasps concluded and rea.s.sembled in their own airborne formation before buzzing away up the hall.
The kitchen gleamed in spotless perfection. The whole thing had taken hardly four minutes.
aWell?a asked Clara, regarding us with amused pride.
I spread my hands. aI guess in two lifetimes that was the most amazing demonstration I ever witnessed.a Alice asked sweetly, aMore amazing than 15 Italian lovelies undulating for you at once?a aWill you quit that!a I squawked. aBesides, they didnat undulate all at once.a aWhat are they waiting for?a asked Alice. Indeed the formation of monkeys waited unmoving just inside the doorway.
Clara answered, aAltering them necessarily increased their intelligence while giving it purpose. They know humans sometimes react badly to their species. They wait to see what youall do.a Iam not that dumb. I said with a grin, aBecause you are waiting.a aYes, of course.a She returned my grin.
My mind was beginning to work again. aThe too-ready meals and too-clean house began on the second day. How did you get them here that quickly, Clara?a aWatch this.a Her voice had hardly died before the 13 monkeys merged. That is the only word. They came together, cheek to jowl, and I do mean nether cheek; arms, legs and tails intertwined, until they formed a bale of monkeys a" a rectangular parallelepiped very like a small, brown and furry hay bale with beady black eyes watching us from all over its surface.
Clara asked, aDo you recall that large steamer chest you two kids helped me load into the trunk of the car? It contained the Capuchins and the Vespidae, plus my tools.a aThe Vespidae?a I asked.
aThe wasps. aPaper wasps,a they are called, because of the nests they make. Even unmodified they are much less toxic to humans than the hornets they somewhat resemble.a I waved at the bale of monkeys, wondering at the correspondence to barrel of monkeys that nothing is supposed to be funnier than. aHow long can they stay like that?a aAs a matter of fact, I can cause them to hibernate in that arrangement. Then they hardly breathe and can exist as such for several days. But they donat like it very much.a As she finished, the bale sprang apart and again became 13 monkeys standing in their previous formation.
I snapped my fingers. aScurrying!a Clara grinned. aYouave heard them in the night, have you?a aYes. I thought it was squirrels in the attic. They only, ah, come out at night?a aUntil now, only when you two were both asleep or at school.a She smiled fondly at the waiting troop. aWe meant to give the place a good general cleaning and airing yesterday afternoon, but that plan rather fell apart.a Alice stepped forward, looking intently at the leader. aDoes he have a name?a aHe does, and he knows it: Alazar.a Iall swear the male in front turned his head from woman to girl before she called him, suggesting that Clara had a mental finger involved in what happened next. Alice fell to one knee and called softly, aAlazar, come here, pretty boy. Come here, Alazar.a The little figure strutted across the room to her, shoulders and arms swinging, in perfect mimicry of a small boyas unjustified swagger. He bowed low, coiled tail rising comically behind him, raised up and stretched out furry arms toward her.
Of course she picked him up and hugged him gently to her flat chest. aOh, Alazar, you little sweetheart!a I stared in disbelief. Alice seldom shows affection. I never saw her offer it even to her own children. Only too rarely she shows it to me! But now her face was dissolved in love. The little boy in me wanted to puke. The old man wondered at the size of a monkeyas p.e.n.i.s. Didnat the Kama Sutra mention congress between monkeys and women? No, not monkeys: chimpanzees.
I forced my mind back onto the rails. aI gather both monkeys and wasps live in your humming closet.a aYes,a Clara admitted. aThe wasps beat the air with their wings for circulation. When I tried suppressing that instinct, they suffocated.a aWhen do you feed them? Also at night?a aThe monkeys eat as they clean up after us. Being as omnivorous as we, they take what else they need from our larder. They make up a nectar for the wasps.a I allowed incredulity into my voice. aThese monkeys installed those bank-vault locks?a aWith my help,a she admitted. aSome things are beyond their strength, of course.a I shook my head. aThe implications of such control are staggering. I am just beginning to appreciate this.a aWhat else do you want to know, Tim?a aHow rich are you?a She shrugged. aI have accounts in many banks, many millions of dollars. Money will never be a concern of ours.a aAll right, tell me this, then. How did your phony birth certificates fool the FBI?a aThe FBI took them from the county files in Hightower. If you wonder how false certificates came to be in those files, the answer is because I put them there, after creating them by reference to the paper, ink and typewriter peculiarities of your valid certificate. Present technology is not good enough to detect that forgery.a aYou couldnat have done all that on Sunday afternoon!a aNo, of course not. I did it while we still lived in Hightower. I was confident wead need them.a I took a breath. aYou are such a remarkable person, Clara!a She came around the table in a rush and embraced me, compressing me against her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. aFor you, Tim, only you!a At those words I saw Alice look up. She released Alazar, who gathered up his troop and disappeared down the hall, leaving the girl to stare at us thoughtfully.
Rosalind failed to answer her telephone. I came back to the kitchen, where my women were discussing the different approaches required in programming the serial machines familiar to Alice versus the ma.s.sively parallel structures of biological systems. I sat and listened for a while, gathering from Aliceas bemused expression that whole new vistas were opening for her, but when they segued into input-output techniques, discussing parallel sensoria and command-response channels, I interrupted.
aExcuse me, ladies. Itas Monday, you know.a Aliceas eyes widened and she glared up at the clock over the door before relaxing. aIave got an hour and a half.a aI guess Rosalind has already gone to school,a I responded obliquely.
She frowned at me. aWhat were you going to tell her anyway?a aTell her? I meant to make sure she was all right, that the FBI delivered her home.a aIs that all? How did you mean to answer her questions?a I shrugged. aSomehow.a She sniffed. aIall bet you planned to spin some fancy lie about us being Tsar Nicholasas grandchildren.a I looked at her admiringly. aThatas not bad a" about the Russians thinking so, at any rate!a Alice stared meaningfully at Clara. aHow like a man to lie!a Clara chuckled and winked at me. aIf his woman gives him the idea.a Her face became serious. aWeave agreed Rosalind is socially valuable to us, one of the few whoad raise a stink if the government got too overbearing. We do need to tell her something.a Aliceas eyes narrowed. aIall take care of it.a aYou?a I asked.
aWithout angling for a b.l.o.w.j.o.b, either. Timmy, what is it with her? Does she really do that so much better than Clara or I?a I shook my head. aI canat believe youare asking for a comparison!a I spread my hands. aBut thatas a good idea. You take care of it!a aDonat think I wonat!a She stood up. aI have time for a good long soak.a She grinned askance at Clara. aDo you suppose Alazar and some of his buddies might wash my back?a Claraas eyes twinkled. aYou might miss your cla.s.s.a aDo you mean he actually does that?a aOh, yes. The Capuchin often help me with my toilet.a The girl blinked and smiled sheepishly. aI just realized: I canat tell him what to do.a aBefore you two came to live with me, I communicated for years with them in English.a aThey understand?a aSimple words and gestures, nods and head-shakes, for example. One of these days Iall undertake the throat modifications to let them speak.a aThen aa Alice licked her lips. aDo I just knock on the closet door?a Clara grinned. aWhy not? Like this.a She rapped three times on the tabletop, paused then repeated. aIall tell him to expect you.a Her face took on a p.r.o.nounced leer. aThe males love our ma.s.sive fleshiness.a The girl nodded pensively and remarked in an off-hand manner, aI noticed Alazaras erection.a I stared at her in surprise. aWhen?a She returned my stare levelly. aWhen I hugged him. I donat think I need your permission. Thereas only 13 of them, you know, not 15.a I grunted and turned away. As Alice left the room, I saw that Clara had covered her mouth with her hand. I inquired, aAre Capuchins large enough?a aNo, Tim, not to replace a man,a she said with quick seriousness.
Somehow I didnat have the courage to ask her about a boy.
aIave made a few improvements in the viewers,a said Clara, extending one to me.