"You pretend to have some affection for your old playmate, but you do not trouble yourself to come to see her."
"Indeed, you do me wrong."
"Do you wrong! You prefer to gallivant about town with Comyn and Charles Fox, and with all those wild gentlemen who go to Brooks"s. Nay, I have heard of your goings-on. I shall write to Mr. Carvel to-day, and advise him to send for you. And tell him that you won a thousand pounds in one night--"
"It was only seven hundred," I interrupted sheepishly. I thought she smiled faintly.
And will probably lose twenty thousand before you have done. And I shall say to him that you have dared to make bold rebel speeches to a Lord of the Admiralty and to some of the King"s supporters. I shall tell your grandfather you are disgracing him."
"Rebel speeches!" I cried.
"Yes, rebel speeches at Almack"s. Who ever heard of such a thing! No doubt I shall hear next of your going to a drawing-room and instructing his Majesty how to subdue the colonies. And then, sir, you will be sent to the Tower, and I shan"t move a finger to get you out."
"Who told you of this, Dolly?" I demanded.
"Mr. Fox, himself, for one. He thought it so good,--or so bad,--that he took me aside last night at Lady Tankerville"s, asked me why I had let you out of Castle Yard, and told me I must manage to curb your tongue.
I replied that I had about as much influence with you as I have with Dr.
Franklin."
I laughed.
"I saw Fox lead you off," I said.
"Oh, you did, did you!" she retorted. "But you never once came near me yourself, save when I chanced to meet you in the hall, tho" I was there a full three hours."
"How could I!" I exclaimed. "You were surrounded by prime ministers and amba.s.sadors, and Heaven knows how many other great people."
"When you wish to do anything, Richard, you usually find a way."
"Nay," I answered, despairing, "I can never explain anything to you, Dolly. Your tongue is too quick for mine."
"Why didn"t you go home with your captain?" she asked mockingly.
"Do you know why I stayed?"
"I suppose because you want to be a gay spark and taste of the pleasures of London. That is, what you men are pleased to call pleasures. I can think of no other season."
"There is another," I said desperately.
"Ah," said Dolly. And in her old aggravating way she got up and stood in the window, looking out over the park. I rose and stood beside her, my very temples throbbing.
"We have no such springs at home," she said. "But oh, I wish I were at Wilmot House to-day!"
"There is another reason," I repeated. My voice sounded far away, like that of another. I saw the colour come into her cheeks again, slowly.
The southwest wind, with a whiff of the channel salt in it, blew the curtains at our backs.
"You have a conscience, Richard," she said gently, without turning. "So few of us have."
I was surprised. Nor did I know what to make of that there were so many meanings.
"You are wild," she continued, "and impulsive, as they say your father was. But he was a man I should have honoured. He stood firm beside his friends. He made his enemies fear him. All strong men must have enemies, I suppose. They must make them."
I looked at her, troubled, puzzled, but burning at her praise of Captain Jack.
"Dolly," I cried, "you are not well. Why won"t you come back to Maryland?"
She did not reply to that. Then she faced me suddenly.
"Richard, I know now why you insisted upon going back. It was because you would not desert your sea-captain. Comyn and Mr. Fox have told me, and they admire you for it as much as I."
What language is worthy to describe her as she was then in that pose, with her head high, as she was wont to ride over the field after the hounds. Hers was in truth no beauty of stone, but the beauty of force,--of life itself.
"Dorothy," I cried; "Dorothy, I stayed because I love you. There, I have said it again, what has not pa.s.sed my lips since we were children. What has been in my heart ever since."
I stopped, awed. For she had stepped back, out on the balcony. She hid her head in her hands, and I saw her breast shaken as with sobs. I waited what seemed a day,--a year. Then she raised her face and looked at me through the tears shining in her eyes.
"Richard," she said sadly, "why, why did you ever tell me? Why can we not always be playmates?"
The words I tried to say choked me. I could not speak for sorrow, for very bitterness. And yet I might have known! I dared not look at her again.
"Dear Richard," I heard her say, "G.o.d alone understands how it hurts me to give you pain. Had I only foreseen--"
"Had you only foreseen," I said quickly.
"I should never have let you speak."
Her words came steadily, but painfully. And when I raised my eyes she met them bravely.
"You must have seen," I cried. "These years I have loved you, nor could I have hidden it if I had wished. But I have little--to offer you," I went on cruelly, for I knew not what I said; "you who may have English lands and t.i.tles for the consenting. I was a fool."
Her tears started again. And at sight of them I was seized with such remorse that I could have bitten my tongue in two.
"Forgive me, Dorothy, if you can," I implored. "I did not mean it. Nor did I presume to think you loved me. I have adored,--I shall be content to adore from far below. And I stayed,--I stayed that I might save you if a danger threatened."
"Danger!" she exclaimed, catching her breath.
"I will come to the point," I said. "I stayed to save you from the Duke of Chartersea."
She grasped the balcony rail, and I think would have fallen but for my arm. Then she straightened, and only the quiver of her lip marked the effort.
"To save me from the Duke of Chartersea?" she said, so coldly that my conviction was shaken. "Explain yourself, sir."
"You cannot love him!" I cried, amazed.
She flashed upon me a glance I shall never forget.
"Richard Carvel," she said, "you have gone too far. Though you have been my friend all my life, there are some things which even you cannot say to me."