"So if you stay here, you could see Robyn and do some acting on the side while you completed that masters program you"re so hot about."
"And what about the rodeo?"
"I"m sure you could fit that in too."
"Jay, you"re f.u.c.king nuts."
"I"m just saying." Jay folded his arms across his chest and looked way too smug for Dakota"s liking.
"I don"t want to be an actor, period, got it?"
"I hear you, little bro, but don"t be so quick to throw the opportunity away. They"d pay you a s.h.i.tload of money."
"Yeah and take away my private life, my dreams and suck me dry. I"m done, Jay. I"ll do the boot ads if you still want me to, but no more commercials." He held his breath as he held his brother"s gaze. Would Jay get mad or for once treat him like an adult and accept his decision?
"Well, if you put it like that. I can"t say I"m not dis appointed but it"s your life."
Dakota stared at him. Was it really that easy to stand up for yourself? He fought a smile, maybe he was tougher than he thought, maybe Robyn had shown him that it was possible to disagree with the people you loved without losing them.
Jay shrugged. "I did say we"d all go to a c.o.c.ktail party on Sat.u.r.day night with this big-shot agent because I thought you might be interested in pursuing this, but I suppose we don"t have to go."
Grayson groaned. "I"ve got to go with Lauren anyway. She needs to keep up her business contacts, she tells me. I"d appreciate it if you both came along to keep me company."
Willing to compromise now he"d said his piece to Jay, Dakota smiled at Grayson. "Sure, as long as Robyn wants to come, we"ll be there."
"So how"s Robyn feeling today? I noticed she left early." Jay said.
"She said she was doing fine, but I reckon she was still a bit shaken up."
Jay nodded. "So did she give you any more details about what happened? Do we know the name of the guy we"re going to have a little talk with?" He nodded at Grayson. "I told Gray about this and he"s more than willing to help out."
Dakota sighed. "It"s complicated. Beating the c.r.a.p out of the guy might not work." He glanced across at Grayson who was listening intently. "If I square it with Robyn, I might need some legal advice to help her get this d.i.c.khead out of her life."
"It"s yours. I"ll set my best guys on to it."
"Thanks, Gray."
"You"re welcome. It"s no big deal."
Jay snorted. "Not when you"re as rich as Grayson is." He hesitated and turned back to Dakota. "Are you sure you know what you"re doing with Robyn?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you hardly know her. Do you think she"s the kind of woman who"ll stick around?"
"If I hog-tie her to my bed every night, yeah."
"I"m serious. There"s something about her, something I haven"t yet figured out."
Dakota got to his feet. He hated keeping secrets but in this instance his loyalty to Robyn outweighed even his deep affection for his brothers. "There"s a lot you don"t know about her. I need to . . ."
"Square it with her first," Grayson and Jay chorused.
"Good luck with that, bro." Jay chuckled. "Robyn sure knows how to stand up for herself. Looks like she"s been teaching you a thing or two as well."
Dakota smiled at the thought. "That"s one of the reasons why I love her."
Jay held out his hand to Grayson. "Those ten bucks you just won from me? I"m taking them back. I told you he was totally p.u.s.s.y whipped."
"Well, you"d know all about that, wouldn"t you, Jay?" Grayson backed toward the door as Jay advanced on him. "Helen"s no stroll in the pasture either, is she?"
Dakota shoved Jay through the door after Grayson and shut the door before the shouting elevated into a real fight. He"d said it out loud and in front of his brothers so it must be true. He loved Robyn. He closed his eyes and leant back up against the door. How the h.e.l.l had that happened? She drove him nuts, made him behave like a caveman in heat. She made him laugh.
He opened his eyes and stared at the make-up cl.u.s.tered on the vanity. So much for waiting for love. Sometimes it crept up behind you and bit you in the a.s.s when you weren"t expecting it. He"d always tried to avoid the messiness and potential pain of love by keeping everything superficial. He started to smile. Robyn let him be himself, warts and all. Now all he had to do was convince her that she loved him too.
"So you see, I"ve been on an adventure. I hope you didn"t miss me too much. I was thinking about you all the time I was away."
Robyn squeezed Leda"s thin fingers and kissed her gently on the cheek. She hardly noticed the hum of the machines around them anymore, machines that monitored every aspect of Leda"s life, each labored breath and spike in her temperature, each uncoordinated movement that no longer inspired moments of hope.
Leda"s eyes were open but there was no sign of her inside the quiet blue depths. She was the perfect listener, and she never interrupted. Robyn swallowed hard. Sometimes she longed to shake her sister, to slap her and scream in her face. No one who looked like they were just waking from a heavy sleep could really be in a deep coma, could they?
Over the years Robyn"s optimism had died as each new treatment failed, each sudden surprise was followed by bitter disappointment. Robyn knew that Leda would never get better. She"d always remain trapped in the cobwebs of her mind, for ever entangled in a half-life Robyn could only imagine.
She smoothed her sister"s cheek, noticed she"d lost weight again and began to talk.
"So I met this guy. He"s one of the good ones; really, there are still a few around. He"s a cowboy and he goes to college. Can you believe that? You"d like him, Leda. He"s almost thirty so just around your age but you can"t have him, he"s all mine."
A sc.r.a.ping noise behind her made Robyn turn. Dr Walsh stood in the doorway, a faint smile on her mouth.
"Hi, Robyn, what"s up?"
"Nothing much. How"s Leda doing?"
Dr Walsh sighed. "That"s what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you want to do it here or in my office?"
Robyn let go of Leda"s hand and turned her chair to face the door. "Here is fine. It"s not as if she"s going to react to what we"re saying is it?"
Dr Walsh pulled up a chair and sat down, her rumpled blue scrubs settling about her ample frame. "While you were away Leda stopped being able to chew and swallow food again so we had to feed her completely intravenously."
"Yeah, I noticed the new bag of fluid. Do you know why?"
"No, but it follows a pattern of gradual lessening of function we"ve been seeing over the past three or four months."
"Are you saying she"s getting worse?"
"I"m saying she"s not functioning so well. It"s almost impossible to predict what that means. You know that. Dealing with patients in a vegetative state is a black art. She could stay like this for years, improve slightly again or get worse."
Robyn took a deep breath. "So there"s nothing you can do for her."
Dr Walsh"s smile was bittersweet. "We"ll do what we always do: stop her getting bed sores, watch out for pneumonia and try any new techniques that pop up." She got to her feet. "That"s all we"ve got, babe."
The new nurse appeared behind Dr Walsh, a clipboard in her hand. She glanced at Robyn and then smiled. "You"re Robyn Sparrow, right?"
"I was. But in here I"m just Leda"s sister."
"Such a terrible tragedy for your family."
"Yeah." Robyn tried to keep smiling.
"To think the poor little love"s been like this for almost five years . . ."
"Yeah."
The nurse wiped at her eyes. "I hear that no one else visits apart from you and that you pay the bills."
Robyn stared hard at her sister"s serene face and tried to ignore the sympathy emanating from the nurse. She hated it when people felt sorry for her. Leda was the only one who deserved sympathy.
"Um, Lisa? Perhaps you"d better take this form back to Dr Taylor?" Dr Walsh walked across and took up position beside Robyn and Leda"s raised bed.
"Sure, I almost forgot." The nurse smiled brightly at Robyn. "So nice to meet you. Perhaps I can get your autograph next time?"
Robyn couldn"t bring herself to speak as the nurse went out of the room. Dr Walsh covered her hand with her own.
"I"m sorry. I"ll get someone else to work with your sister."
"Is she good?"
"She"s one of the best."
"Then it"s OK. I"ll deal with her. I know how hard it is to get good help around here."
"That"s something else I"ve been meaning to talk to you about." Dr Walsh sighed. "The hospital might be closing this department down. It"s incredibly costly to run and they say they just don"t have the money to do it anymore."
Robyn grabbed the metal frame of the bed to steady herself as visions of her sister being cast out on the street threatened to overwhelm her. She"d only managed to find this place for Leda after a great deal of searching. Leda"s health insurance paid most of the costs; she"d always been the most financially prudent of the sisters. But Robyn still had to find the rest of the money herself. When it had become obvious that Leda wasn"t going to come out of her coma, no one else in her family had cared enough to make decisions for her.
All the decisions had been left to Robyn, who had taken over responsibility for her sister. It was during that period she"d finally sobered up, stopped giving her mother money and taken over her own finances. Shame it had taken her sister"s near death to force her to grow up.
Robyn made herself focus on the problem at hand. Although the facility was small, it had a great reputation for its high standard of care.
"What would happen to Leda?"
"It"s OK, there are several options." Dr Walsh patted her hand. "We"d do our best to find another special unit for her in another hospital or care home. If the worst came to the worst, she could live with you and the services would come to your house."
"When will you know for sure?"
"By the end of the year. So there"s no need to worry just yet, things do change."
"They certainly do."
Robyn knew that even if they did find another care facility, the rates would probably go up and Leda"s insurance wouldn"t cover them. So much for her dream of going to college . . .
Dr Walsh nudged her. "I heard you talking to Leda about a new beau. What"s he like?"
"No one says "beau" anymore, do they?"
Dr Walsh smiled. "I do."
Robyn squirmed uncomfortably. "I wouldn"t exactly say he"s my boyfriend, just a really nice guy I know."
"You should bring him here. Introduce him to Leda."
"I told her I"d do that. He"d probably be delighted to meet her."
"Really?"
Robyn focused on Leda"s calm face. "Yeah. He"s that kind of guy."
Dr Walsh stood up. "Sounds like a keeper to me."
"I suppose he is."
"Don"t let caring for Leda stop you living your own life, Robyn. I bet she wouldn"t have wanted that."
After Dr Walsh left, Robyn continued to hold her sister"s hand. Somehow she knew that Dakota wouldn"t be awkward or afraid with Leda like Damien had been on his one brief visit. Dakota was way too nice for that. Leda would"ve liked him too.
Robyn brushed at two wet spots on Leda"s sheet and realized she was crying. So she"d finally recognized that Dakota was the perfect guy for her and now she"d have to give him up. There was no way in h.e.l.l she could hold on to Dakota and fulfill her promises to Leda. A sick feeling filled her stomach. With this new threat looming over her sister, she would have to suck it up, go back to Damien and take whatever c.r.a.ppy job he offered her.
Chapter Eighteen.
"Can we just stay in tonight?"
Dakota looked up from the ball game he was watching on TV to find Robyn leaning against the doorway of the bathroom.
"Are you still tired, honey?" He searched her face, realized from the redness of her eyes that she must have been crying. He hated that he couldn"t just ask her to tell him why without her putting up her defenses. "You sure look it."
"Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better."
"Let"s get room service, then. You liked the chicken sandwich, right?" He called the number and placed the order while Robyn continued to watch him from the door. When he hung up, she came around the couch and slumped down next to him. He put his arm around her shoulders and lightly kissed her cheek. He was too relieved she was still with him to want to probe too deeply into her state of mind. For some reason, he felt like she was slipping away from him again.
"You always look beautiful to me."