He peered at her, perplexed. "You do not wish for me to leave."
She hesitated,then shook her head, but that seemed to require that she offer a reason.
It would save her trouble in the long run. Why didn"t she want him to go?
A rush of answers whirled in her mind, most of them half-formed because he was beautiful and she wanted to be near him. Because he had touched something in her that had been dead a long time, and made it alive again. Because-
"I"ll worry," she said simply. "If you get a little more rest, show a little more caution, I won"t have to think of you out there in the cold, hurting."
A hint of a smile touched his mouth. "You would spare so much thought on a wanderer? A how did you say it? desperado." His tongue put the right accents on the word, and it sounded much more dangerous. A picture rose in her mind of a desert and a man on a horse and a perilous full moon hanging in the endless sky.
"I would spare that much thought for you," she said.
The words caused a subtle shift in the air. He did not move, but she suddenly felt him more, felt the warmth of him along her body,sensed the shape of his lean hips and wide shoulders. Felt, too, her breath soften in her chest, as if in readiness.
He raised his right hand and pressed the backs of his fingers to her cheek, lightly.
"Then I will stay."
Josefina was afraid. She was cold. The wind was picking up and she was frightened of the shadows it sent skittering over the land. Even her little dog seemed afraid, because he whined and huddled closer to her, both of them clasped in her stolen blanket.
At dark, they had gone down to the dairy bar again and she spent almost all of her five-dollar bill on hot dogs and hot chocolate and candy. They each had a hot dog and she found an old milk carton in the trash, which she filled with water for the dog.
Josefina put the candy in her pocket for later and they walked back toward the orchard, shivering a little in the wind. It made her cough.
That scared her. All day, she had been coughing more. And it hurt more. And she didn"t feel so good. Once, during the summer, she had been very sick with this cough for many days. She couldn"t remember very much of what happened then it was all jumbled in her head with strange images of fire and rockets.Tio told her it was the Fourth of July when she was sick.
She was very afraid it was going to be like that again. There was that softness in her brain again, and the world looked funny, sparkly. She was even more afraid when she saw that it was no longer the thin fluid her cough ordinarily brought up, but there was blood, too.
And tonight, it was cold. She felt the wind cuffing through her shirt like a knife, slicing up her skin like a tomato. She was afraid to sleep in the cold. How could she get a blanket?
The idea was bad. She knew it even when she thought it up. But on the way to the dairy bar was a washing place. People took in their clothes and put in the money, then went next door to shop, or across the street to the bar.
Josefina wandered in and acted as if she was supposed to be there. Her little dog followed her in, his headdown, as if he was afraid somebody would kick him. n.o.body said anything. There was only an old lady with her black hair in a bun, putting ap.r.o.ns in a dryer.
It took a long time, but Josefina had plenty. She looked at old, messed-up magazines and ate a little of her candy. She used the bathroom, happy to have a real toilet, and while she was in there, she washed her face and hands. The world seemed dizzier and dizzier as the evening wore on, but at least it was warm in here.
At last she had her chance. A man with a belly like a barrel put a bunch of things in washers. Everything. Coats and socks. Blankets. He washed them, then came back after a while, smelling like the workers on Sat.u.r.day nights, and put everything in the dryers.
Josefina sat on her hands, humming a little when she didn"t cough, though that was getting harder and harder. She had to get a tissue from the bathroom to cover her mouth with.
"Where"s your mama, girl?" the man asked.
Josefina gave him her most guileless stare."Nohabloingles ."
He looked worried for a minute, acted as if he was going to say something else, but Josefina just glared at him, and he shrugged and left.
She had to wait another half hour, but then the blanket was dry, and the man had not come back. She looked outside, both ways, to be sure, then opened the dryer, grabbed the striped blanket, hot from the air inside, and ran out, her little dog following behind.
Molly and Alejandro ate a simple meal, during which Alejandro seemed to grow more and more restless, his attention on his missing niece. She had heard the weather report, and worried right along with him, but everything that could be done had been, and until morning, she didn"t know what else to do.
"You know," she said finally. "If she doesn"t surface by say,noontomorrow, I"ll go to the sheriff."
He frowned. "But your brother-"
"He"s a deputy." She pressed her mouth together. "If I take it to the sheriff himself, I"m going to have to tell him the truth that you"re worried. Otherwise, they"re just going to pat me on the head and send me on my way."
His jaw tightened. "I am very worried about her. Better she is in a home than out there." Sorrow filled his eyes. "She will be very sad."
Molly considered. "If they deport you, how long will it take you to get back?"
"A few days. A week, maybe."
"Okay this is what we"ll do, then. If Josefina is still missing in the morning, I"ll go to the sheriff and he can start a search. If you end up getting deported, I"ll ask to keep her here."
He lowered his eyes, laced his fingers together. "Thank you."
"It won"t be for long."
When he lifted his face, there was weariness in it, lying in the hollows of his cheeks.
"I hate to live this way. Sometimes, I think it would be better for Josefina to take her home toMexico, to my uncle, where we would not have to hide." He spread his hands and looked at them, as if they contained the future or maybe the past. "It was a good life. I miss it very much."
She thought of his description of what she should do with her land, and smiled. "Did you have goats for their milk? And sheep for their wool?"
He grinned. "Si. And chickens for eggs."
"And a rooster for morning."
"It"s a good alarm clock, no? Not like those bells."
"I wouldn"t know."
"Try it one day. You will see."
She hesitated, but only for a moment. "Why don"t you take her back to your home, then?"
He lifted his shoulders. "My sister wanted her to be here. To be an American. She died for that, you know?"
"Yeah." Molly inclined her head, wondering how to delicately phrase her question. "But wouldn"t it be better for Josefina inMexico? She could go to school. Be in one place."
He made a soft snorting sound and leaned,wincing only a little, over the table. "When I first came here, those first few weeks, I was shocked every day. Women do anything here." He paused. "Not inMexico." His eyes focused on something distant. "And Josefina
she"s very smart. She already reads big books, and her teacher last summer, in the camp, was very mad that I could not take her to a normal school. She said Josefina was -" he lifted his hand, as if trying to pull the word from the air "-dotada, I can"t think of it in English." He touched his temple. "Very smart in mathematics."
"Dotada,"Molly echoed, liking the sound of the word. "I don"t know what it means, but I get the idea."
He smiled. "Say like this," and he repeated it.
Molly tried again and was rewarded with a nod of approval."Bueno."
She tried not to beam too much at his approval, and reminded herself to look up the word. Gifted, maybe? It brought her thoughts back to the little girl, alone and cold out there somewhere. As if she might spot her, she looked over her shoulder to the dark pane of gla.s.s facing the gardens. "Is it so impossible for you to get a visa, Alejandro? There"s nothing?" She hesitated. "Is there anyone I could write, on your behalf?"
"G.o.d made you to nurse the world, I think." He put his hand over hers. "From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, Saint Molly. But there is no one to write." He smiled now, sadly. "I have already tried."
She nodded, sighed and gently pulled away, picking up dishes to carry to the sink. "You know, this whole subject is in the news all the time. Laws about it." She lifted a hand, staring out at the vast emptiness that was the northernNew Mexicovista.