That he could not bear.
He mentally rehea.r.s.ed his plan. She would protest, and he thought carefully how to counter that, in terms with which she could not argue.
And suddenly, he sympathized with her brother, Josh, worrying over her goodness and generosity of spirit. Taking Alejandro into her house might have been a very dangerous act, something her brother knew very clearly, working as he did with the law. Alejandro might have been anyone, of any sort of character. He might have hurt Molly.
And though he believed his character was strong, Alejandro was going to hurt her now to save them both pain later. He mourned that. Mourned that she might think he had only made love to her in a casualway, that he took lovers as easily as many of the men he knew. Mourned that even their easy friendship would have to be sacrificed.
But it was necessary. To preserve and restore her reputation, Alejandro would have to pretend to believe her brother"s lie, return toMexico. Josefina could heal a little.
Maybe then, he could come get her, take her back with him. And leave Molly to repair her life and make peace with the husband she still mourned, though she did not admit it.
He loved her. And love, as his mother told him often enough, was not selfish or grasping. Love served.
Alejandro would serve her best by letting her go.
Outside the hospital, Alejandro halted. "Molly, you must listen."
A faint, apprehensive frown. "What is it?"
"When Josefina comes to your house, I will stay a day or two,then return toMexico." He touched her arm. "Not for me. For you. Annie told me what the town is doing to you." He
paused. "She also told me it is a lie, that the green-card wedding is not enough. So I will go home for a few days, come back and maybe you can just say " a shrug "
that it is too much, the little girl and me and the dog."
"Alejandro-"
He put his fingers over her mouth. "This is best."
"Is it?"
"Listen." He took her hands. "You must, to be happy, make peace with your brother and your people here. To give you that chance, I must not live under your roof."
"Stop being so d.a.m.ned n.o.ble, will you?" She tugged out of his grasp. "If you want to go, just go. Stop giving me these weird excuses."
His eyes narrowed sharply. "You are too stubborn to see what I see. That you need your family. Your town. You have been very unhappy with them looking at you, talking about you behind your back."
And d.a.m.n him, he was right. She hated this, hated feeling as if she"d been banished in some arcane tribal ritual. And in time, she would resent him. She crossed her arms, feeling genuine grief well up in her heart. "At least let Josefina stay with me until she"s better. Will you let me do that much?"
"How can you, Molly? You have work. You have friends." He shook his head, smiling softly. "I thought I should make your land give you its bounty, to pay my debt to you.
What I see now is that G.o.d sent me to you, just as you were sent to me, so we could both have better lives now. You have been frozen, as you said last night. I have been lost."
She found she had a smile, a very sad one, in her after all. "You thawed me out, all right."
"And you found me a place to call home." He looked away and Molly sensed, suddenly, that it was as hard for him to walk away as it was for her to let him. "We will be friends. Later, when it is not so hard. Okay?"
Tears burned in her throat, burned so hot she wanted to scream them away. She closed her eyes and willed them away. "Okay."
And as if he could not resist, he stepped forward and pulled her into a deep, close, rib-crushing embrace for a long minute, then kissed her head and let her go. "We should make arrangements today, for my niece. Tonight, call your brother and have him come to dinner. I will cook for him, and we will tell him the truth."
Molly nodded. But she wondered which version of truth they would present.
As she drove toward the ranch, Alejandro said suddenly, "Your house, the one you draw so much, is it around here somewhere?"
"Not far." She smiled, attempting a normal expression. "It isn"t like anything is far from anything else around here."
"Will you show it to me?"
Molly shrugged. "Sure, I guess." She changed lanes and turned left, into the oldest part of town. Much of it was shabby, but the lots were generous and flanked with winter-bare elms and poplars and cottonwoods that made a tunnel of shade in summer.
Molly parked on the street. "There it is."
"Can we get out? Look in the windows?"
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I want to see what captured you."
He sounded as though he meant it, and they got out, crunching over leaves and snow in the late afternoon. More clouds had rolled in, and they lent a lonely aspect to the neglected house. She tried to see it with fresh eyes, taking in the peeling paint, the faded gingerbread,the boarded windows.
But instead, she snagged on the same things that always caught her. The leaded gla.s.s windows on the first floor, the eyebrow window in the roof, the long, wide porch that circled the front and both sides, ending in a screen door at the side. In memory, she
saw it the way it had been in spring, with lilacs blooming from the enormous bushes that ran down one side of the wide lawn. She smiled. "It must seem amazing that this is it."
"No," he said quietly, turning to look at her. "I see your name written on it, Molly, right there, under that window. See?"
She glanced up, half expecting to see her name. Of course it wasn"t there. He was teasing her, and she smiled again. "It"s really amazing inside. Hardwood floors. Big wide staircase. Six bedrooms!"
He bent to pick up a bedraggled For Sale sign. "Why do you not buy it now?"
A wind skittered over the yard, kicking up leaves and waving the arms of the trees overhead. She pulled a lock of loose hair from her eyes. "I don"t have the skills to fix it. I needed Tim for that."
He lifted a shoulder. "He was a good carpenter. But not the only one in the world, eh?"
Molly nodded because he seemed to want agreement. But she looked at the turret with its pointed roof and knew she would never buy the house. And somehow, the thought made her feel winded. Lost.
She shivered and crossed her arms. "I"m freezing. Let"s go get this over with."
Chapter 14.
Alejandro banished her to the living room while he cooked something mysterious he wouldn"t name, with ingredients he"d purchased with his pay from Wiley. Outside, a cold wind blew last night"s snow around, and Molly stared at it with a hollow feeling, wishing she were in the kitchen with Alejandro.
Josh and Lynette showed up right on time, without the children, both of them nicely
dressed, and Molly smiled, knowing how much they treasured these times alone together.
As they came up the walk, Josh said something, a joke by the way Lynette leaned close to him and laughed. Her blond hair blew over his shoulder and he put his arm around her.
Molly had called Josh this afternoon, confessing everything, in return for his help seeing to Josefina"s safety. He had agreed with relief. As she unfolded herself to go to the door, she heard a clang from the kitchen, and Alejandro swore, rather strongly, in Spanish. She smiled, thinking he must have burned himself.
And suddenly, she was breathlessly sorry that he was going. That this was an end, instead of a beginning. She had to stop and breathe deeply for a minute before she opened the door and smiled brightly. "Hi! Come on in. It"s freezing!"
Josh smiled at her, and held up a six-pack of beer. "Lynette promised to drive us home, so I hope you don"t mind if I kick back a few."