It began to rain just as Daneel reached the teleportation crystals that would take him to the Pit.None of the guards who were usually supposed to be around were present. At the back of his mind, he understood that they might still be busy putting out the fire, but the task would be much easier now with the heavens helping them to reach their goal.
Hence, it was an empty journey that greeted Daneel as he made his way back to Gerard"s house. Vaguely, he knew what was soon going to happen, but he didn"t want to face it. He felt himself receding more and more into a sh.e.l.l of his former self, beaten and battered due to the decision he had had to make. Even now, he knew the reasons behind it were sound… but he hated it so much that it was hard to remember them when the self-loathing reared its ugly head to keep swallowing him whole and taking him under its sweeping eddies.
He wavered between moments of anger, frustration, regret, and sheer misery. There was no rain in the Refinery, of course, but he was drenched through, leaving behind a trail of wet footsteps there were mixed with the tears that kept flowing from his eyes.
When he reached that all-too-familiar house, he stopped in front of it, unable to take a step forward. If allowed, he knew that he would have chosen to stay rooted there for an eternity… but when the door opened to reveal the old man who seemed to have chosen to look out impatiently, he had no choice but to walk forward.
From the way Gerard hopefully looked behind him even though it was apparent at first glance that he was alone, he knew that the man must"ve gotten a premonition of what must have happened. Even then, just as unwilling to accept it as him, the old man sat him down on the dining table and asked, "You just came early, right? They"re right behind you?"
Daneel could only stare at him. His lower lip quivered, his left eye twitched, his brow knotted and unknotted repeatedly, and his stomach turned. Finally, he blurted it out all at once and completely gave in to the despair, breaking down like a machine on its last legs.
"Sebastian"s dead, and I had to leave Reese behind!"
He slumped forward, hitting his head hard against the table but actually enjoying the pain that was able to distract him from what was in his mind. From the corner of his eye, he saw the old man freeze, then stand up, then totter to the side before taking support from the wall that he soon met.
Putting in all the effort he had left, he raised his head, knowing that he had to elaborate. It was his plan, so it was his duty to tell him what had happened.
"We didn"t talk about it just now, but I know the reason behind his decision. We talked about this eventuality a day ago, but we never thought it would happen. If we didn"t find too much proof, the backup plan was that one of us would have to give ourselves up so that the Lord wouldn"t search for other perpetrators. Using whatever we found, or in the worst case, even if we found nothing, the one who escaped would have the responsibility to make the best of the situation and still find a way to succeed. If both of us were caught and the plan was a complete failure, we would have been left with nothing… but I wish I didn"t do it. I wish it had been me!"
"How injured was he?"
Gerard got to the crux of the information in an instant. Even though Daneel hadn"t said it, he understood that the only reason that Daneel was here and Reese was still up there was that his son must have been injured, so he wanted to find out the extent of the wounds.
With a nod, Daneel looked up to speak, but the words caught in his throat when he met the burning gaze of the old man. He couldn"t look into it. He couldn"t face it. In those eyes, all he found was the reflection of his failure, so he answered only after looking away.
"A lot of wounds, but nothing that can"t be healed by even the worst of healers."
With his job done, Daneel moved forward to give himself up to the clutches of grief, again. Since the very moment that he had seen Sebastien"s empty eye staring at him, all the memories that he shared with the man had been was.h.i.+ng up to the surface of his mind as if they were flotsam churned up by the waves of dejection. Just as his head was about to meet the table again, though… in a motion that was remarkably similar to what his son had done, Gerard caught his collar and dragged him up, and forward.
His face was soon within inches of the old man"s. He saw the red veins snaking across the red expanse of his skin, pulsing slowly while the rictus of anger that it had been set in bored into his eyes. His lips were drawn back into a snarl, his eyes were opened wide, streaked with red blood vessels that looked as if they were close to bursting.
Daneel was forced to look into them, even though their wrath was something he couldn"t bear. When Gerard spoke, it was in a growling tone the threw spit everywhere, but Daneel listened, unflinching.
"You listen to me right now, you f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d! If you think that I"ll let you just bang your head on the table and act all mopey, you"re wrong! Very, very wrong! My sons are my whole world! Now, one of them is dead, and the other might soon die! They trusted you! They followed you! It would be the easiest thing for me to blame their deaths on you…BUT I KNOW THEM TOO WELL TO DO THAT! They made their decisions, and I know they died with no regrets! I"m not angry at you because of what happened… no, I"m f.u.c.king infuriated because you look like you"re lost! Because you look like you sacrificed them both for nothing! Now tell me… will their lives really go to waste? Or will you give me the chance to feel proud of their part in what is to come? If it"s the former…I"ll KILL YOU! So you better make sure it"s the latter! Do you understand?"
Each word hit him like a truck. He saw how wrong he had been. He had been convinced that all that anger was directed at him… but he saw, now, that its target was his att.i.tude.
The old man"s emotions seemed to be leaking into him through his hands. He felt his own anger that had died down to embers burst into life, and in one swift stroke, it burned away the rest of the emotions.
"Yes, I regret what happened. Yes, I hate that the plan failed. But if I do nothing now, then their trust would have been for nothing! No matter what, that son of a b.i.t.c.h has to go down!"
Daneel didn"t need to open his mouth to give the old man his answer. He nodded with satisfaction when he saw the way Daneel"s eyes transformed until they were just as red as his, and with a shove, he pushed him onto the table.
Taking it in stride, Daneel opened the envelope he had been clutching in his hand all along. In it was only a letter, written in a curly script with the sigil of the Lord embossed below it in gold.
"Next s.h.i.+pment ready to be picked up on the eve of the day before the second moon of Graiton disappears. "
That was it. He instantly understood why Reese had decided that they should use their backup plan. If they went to the Master with just this letter, it would be the simplest thing for Lord Burrow to deny that it was his. He would get away, and they would go to their deaths… but as things hadn"t played out in that way, he had a chance.
The fury rampaging through his mind give him a different sort of clarity that he used to the fullest, having depleted his store of crystals in his fight against Jezara. He knew exactly what he needed to do in a single minute, and of course… it was based completely on the information that he had obtained at such a great cost.
There was no time to lose. Getting up, he walked the door, but just as he was about to go out… he turned around to see the old man sitting at the table, holding the picture of the three of them that Daneel had seen in his bedroom before. It wasn"t framed, which meant that it was a copy he had been keeping inside his coat pocket… and now, it was drenched through with tears as Gerard had begun to grieve.
"I"ll give you what you asked for in two more days. I apologize for the delay… but I will surely deliver. Farewell."
The old man didn"t respond, but Daneel knew that he had heard him. Burning the image in his mind, he walked out, and with sure steps, he made his way forward, his silhouette looking like that of a giant"s as the artificial sun blazed behind his back.