"I will lie no more in the night With shaken breath, I will toss my heart in the air To be caught by Death."
But out of the night I heard, Like the inland sound of the sea, The hushed and terrible sob Of all humanity.
Then I said, "Oh who am I To scorn G.o.d to his face?
I will bow my head and stay And suffer with my race."
GIFTS
I GAVE my first love laughter, I gave my second tears, I gave my third love silence Thru all the years.
My first love gave me singing, My second eyes to see, But oh, it was my third love Who gave my soul to me.
IV
FROM THE SEA
ALL beauty calls you to me, and you seem, Past twice a thousand miles of shifting sea, To reach me. You are as the wind I breathe Here on the ship"s sun-smitten topmost deck, With only light between the heavens and me.
I feel your spirit and I close my eyes, Knowing the bright hair blowing in the sun, The eager whisper and the searching eyes.
Listen, I love you. Do not turn your face Nor touch me. Only stand and watch awhile The blue unbroken circle of the sea.
Look far away and let me ease my heart Of words that beat in it with broken wing.
Look far away, and if I say too much, Forget that I am speaking. Only watch, How like a gull that sparkling sinks to rest, The foam-crest drifts along a happy wave Toward the bright verge, the boundary of the world.
I am so weak a thing, praise me for this, That in some strange way I was strong enough To keep my love unuttered and to stand Altho" I longed to kneel to you that night You looked at me with ever-calling eyes.
Was I not calm? And if you guessed my love You thought it something delicate and free, Soft as the sound of fir-trees in the wind, Fleeting as phosph.o.r.escent stars in foam.
Yet in my heart there was a beating storm Bending my thoughts before it, and I strove To say too little lest I say too much, And from my eyes to drive love"s happy shame.
Yet when I heard your name the first far time It seemed like other names to me, and I Was all unconscious, as a dreaming river That nears at last its long predestined sea; And when you spoke to me, I did not know That to my life"s high altar came its priest.
But now I know between my G.o.d and me You stand forever, nearer G.o.d than I, And in your hands with faith and utter joy I would that I could lay my woman"s soul.
Oh, my love To whom I cannot come with any gift Of body or of soul, I pa.s.s and go.
But sometimes when you hear blown back to you My wistful, far-off singing touched with tears, Know that I sang for you alone to hear, And that I wondered if the wind would bring To him who tuned my heart its distant song.
So might a woman who in loneliness Had borne a child, dreaming of days to come, Wonder if it would please its father"s eyes.
But long before I ever heard your name, Always the undertone"s unchanging note In all my singing had prefigured you, Foretold you as a spark foretells a flame.
Yet I was free as an untethered cloud In the great s.p.a.ce between the sky and sea, And might have blown before the wind of joy Like a bright banner woven by the sun.
I did not know the longing in the night-- You who have waked me cannot give me sleep.
All things in all the world can rest, but I, Even the smooth brief respite of a wave When it gives up its broken crown of foam, Even that little rest I may not have.
And yet all quiet loves of friends, all joy In all the piercing beauty of the world I would give up--go blind forevermore, Rather than have G.o.d blot from out my soul Remembrance of your voice that said my name.
For us no starlight stilled the April fields, No birds awoke in darkling trees for us, Yet where we walked the city"s street that night Felt in our feet the singing fire of spring, And in our path we left a trail of light Soft as the phosph.o.r.escence of the sea When night submerges in the vessel"s wake A heaven of unborn evanescent stars.
VIGNETTES OVERSEAS
I
Off Gibraltar
BEYOND the sleepy hills of Spain, The sun goes down in yellow mist, The sky is fresh with dewy stars Above a sea of amethyst.
Yet in the city of my love High noon burns all the heavens bare-- For him the happiness of light, For me a delicate despair.
II
Off Algiers
Oh give me neither love nor tears, Nor dreams that sear the night with fire, Go lightly on your pilgrimage Unburdened by desire.
Forget me for a month, a year, But, oh, beloved, think of me When unexpected beauty burns Like sudden sunlight on the sea.
III
Naples
Nisida and Prosida are laughing in the light, Capri is a dewy flower lifting into sight, Posilipo kneels and looks in the burnished sea, Naples crowds her million roofs close as close can be; Round about the mountain"s crest a flag of smoke is hung-- Oh when G.o.d made Italy he was gay and young!
IV
Capri
When beauty grows too great to bear How shall I ease me of its ache, For beauty more than bitterness Makes the heart break.
Now while I watch the dreaming sea With isles like flowers against her breast, Only one voice in all the world Could give me rest.
V
Night Song at Amalfi
I asked the heaven of stars What I should give my love-- It answered me with silence, Silence above.